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home ed
Mar 18, 2016 8:04:03 GMT
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Post by blaze on Mar 18, 2016 8:04:03 GMT
Does anyone home educate? By choice or not? Could you tell me about it?
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Post by annie on Mar 18, 2016 8:36:45 GMT
Hi blaze
I didn't go down the route of Home Ed for my children so I can't give you any advice from my direct experience. A significant number of parents do HE, whether that's because of preference rather than because of poor provision by the LA is a mute point.
I believe there is an organisation, set up by parents, who can give advice as how to arrange this. However, I don't have any details of it. Believe it or not, a good source of information is available on Mumsnet where they have a Special Needs forum - that might be worth having a look at.
I thought you were going down the route of securing an EHCP (Education Health Care Plan) or have I got that mixed up?
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home ed
Mar 18, 2016 8:47:57 GMT
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Post by blaze on Mar 18, 2016 8:47:57 GMT
I know how to organise home ed, i am a member of a natural parenting group & mamy home ed- but they don't have adhd themselves. I was woundering if anyone here does & how it works for them. They are also v pro home ed, into the ethos, it's the first choice, where as i don't want to willingly withdraw them.
we are in the middle of echp process, but i appear to have two school refusers on my hands & may end up with no choice.
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Post by annie on Mar 18, 2016 9:14:58 GMT
Good you know about HE and have already looked into what is entailed. I'd still suggest you go on to the Mumsnet SN Board and find out how other parents are doing with school refusal (had one of them) vis-a-vis EHCP. There are a lot of parents on there who have a vast amount of experience negotiating with the LA re EHCP and many of them have children with ADHD/ASD or sole dx.
Good luck
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home ed
Mar 19, 2016 12:36:44 GMT
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Post by blaze on Mar 19, 2016 12:36:44 GMT
That's not what i asked, like i said i already am a member of a parenting forum- which is a much better place for info about echp & home ed (and most parents seem to be professionals in that field themselves) i am not asking about that- i was asking for experiences of parents with adhd who home ed, just their experience of it, if there is anyone here who home eds, thats all.
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truemuses
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Post by truemuses on Apr 20, 2016 21:14:43 GMT
Hi blaze,
I have ADHD (recently diagnosed, I'm new here) and home ed my 3 sons, who are 15, 8 and 5.
It sounds as though you are in a difficult position, if your kids are refusing school, but you'd rather not take them out - I can see why you'd want to get different takes on home ed if it looks as though it's a possibility, and you're unlikely to get an unbiased take from a bunch of home ed proponents! I should declare myself here: I am passionate about home ed, but I can also see that it isn't for everyone - children or parents, especially when ADHD is part of the mix. My experience is that there are some things that are harder when you home ed and some that are easier.
One really significant thing is that my relationship with my oldest son was definitely improved by taking him out of school (he went til he was 9), it gradually became easier to sort out disagreements and everything became a bit gentler and more relaxed during the months after we took him out. On average that is - we still have our moments! But I think it was related to not having to fit all of our interactions around school and the demands of being there on time every morning, then doing after school activities some nights, plus homework and reading and getting him fed, bathed and into bed in time to get enough sleep to do it all again the next day. Not to say that this would be the same for everyone, but I definitely think that ADHD was a factor in how stressful that stuff was for us, and how much easier we both found it once we didn't have to do it any more, which in turn had a positive impact on how we were together.
My challenges are: having the boys around 24/7 is very distracting and given that I can distract myself rather well, 1 + 1 can = getting a lot of things started and not very much finished on a bad day; I find it difficult to organise our time well, especially in relation to time at home just us vs time at home ed groups, with friends, out and about, which means it sometimes tends to be a bit feast or famine/overwhelmed and peopled out or stir crazy cabin fever; again, balancing time spent on admin, domestic stuff - much of which I find a bit tricksy anyway - with time spent on child centred stuff can be a challenge; generally being in charge of my own and everyone else's schedule is sometimes a bit of a curse...I would love a little more (any!) time on my own
My good bits are: being in charge of my own and everyone else's schedule is sometimes awesome - having the freedom to take it gently if it's a bad ADHD day and if it's a good day really making the most of it is great; not having to be many places at an exact time is lovely; I can often fit my own projects - crafty, arty stuff, writing - alongside things I'm doing with the boys or while they're occupied doing their own stuff; as a family, we're more of a team and can work more effectively to make things happen than when my oldest was at school; it's easier to stay on top of home and admin stuff because our base is home (whereas I was out at work pre home ed); I suspect that none of my boys are NTs and HE has meant that it's ok that my 5 year old physically can't sit still unless he's utterly absorbed in something, because he doesn't have to, my 15 year old doesn't have to deal with the difficulties of trying to concentrate in a noisy classroom etc etc etc.
I know that I absolutely couldn't do super structured school at home, I just couldn't cope with the level of organisation required, but the more child led, semi-autonomous educational model we use works well for all of us. This is probably a much longer answer than you were looking for, so I'll leave it there - I can do my best to give you unvarnished answers to any specific questions you might have, if that's of any help to you, though, and good luck, whatever path you choose to take.
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alien
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Post by alien on May 10, 2016 13:17:52 GMT
Hi blaze. I was just wondering if your situation had moved on at all and what you've decided to do? Also wondering how old your child(ren) are/is? My daughter's almost eight and has been having a right old time of it since preschool. We ideally just want a nice inclusive, proactive school, but everything's a fight. She does have an EHCP (great fun securing that was!) but it feels like it's made limited difference beyond having the school accept what we say at face value. (She is also a frequent school refuser.) Better go. Have another meeting at the school in half an hour.
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home ed
May 17, 2016 14:30:09 GMT
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Post by blaze on May 17, 2016 14:30:09 GMT
Moved on and not moved on in other ways ; ) very much in the midst of things & my own adhd is a massive challenge when dealing with all this also. Been dealing with healthcare side of stuff mostly, & fk facing pda assessment for both ontop of camhs (who are being a bitch) & the pda site is so depressingly scary so just trying to stay in the present of things, tell myself its not forever & having oh deal with alot of the meetings etc dla given at much higher rates than i expected though which feels like validation atleast can't really face going into details here, just needed to know if other adhders find 24/7 kids as intense & suffocating as i do, & feel as overwhelmed by the pressure of it all (tbf i identify with a fair bit of their pda) but either i structure questions wrongly or others answer things i havn't asked, either way not finding what is needed here. (& actually that's a challenge anywhere as the combo of twins,5 yrolds, pda/adhd/asd/spd plus my adhd & ed/hmjs, no family etc etc isn't something comparable i guess) but today was fun day out, & tomorrow is play with their best friend, so just one day at a time Hi blaze. I was just wondering if your situation had moved on at all and what you've decided to do? Also wondering how old your child(ren) are/is? My daughter's almost eight and has been having a right old time of it since preschool. We ideally just want a nice inclusive, proactive school, but everything's a fight. She does have an EHCP (great fun securing that was!) but it feels like it's made limited difference beyond having the school accept what we say at face value. (She is also a frequent school refuser.) Better go. Have another meeting at the school in half an hour.
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alien
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home ed
May 18, 2016 14:02:39 GMT
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Post by alien on May 18, 2016 14:02:39 GMT
Hi Blaze.
The PDA Soc website is generally so bloody miserable (well, reading the forum comments). I feel very sorry for anyone with PDA who stumbles across it.
We had an absolute nightmare - like take the worst you ca think of and multiply it tenfold - with CAMHs so I sympathise with all you're going through.
If you want to chat about this offline at all, feel free, just for the ear of someone who has the t-shirt. Sounds like you're having a pretty hard time of it.
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home ed
May 24, 2016 7:21:59 GMT
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Post by shiningbright on May 24, 2016 7:21:59 GMT
I home ed and love it. But I worry for the future as my kids are small currently and need more of my attention yet it's hard to focus on their needs when I have work as well.
But I write curriculums and make resources and my ceativingty is a great tool as we can turn almost any occurance into a learning opportunity. MMof you have any questions regarding home ed activities or such please feel free to ask. I used to work I schools, as a nanny, as teacher and student and I love learning. I also fully believe that home ed is the best way forward for most children these days.
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home ed
Jun 1, 2016 17:20:44 GMT
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Post by blaze on Jun 1, 2016 17:20:44 GMT
Hi Blaze. The PDA Soc website is generally so bloody miserable (well, reading the forum comments). I feel very sorry for anyone with PDA who stumbles across it. We had an absolute nightmare - like take the worst you ca think of and multiply it tenfold - with CAMHs so I sympathise with all you're going through. If you want to chat about this offline at all, feel free, just for the ear of someone who has the t-shirt. Sounds like you're having a pretty hard time of it. that's kind thanks, and i may take you upon it. But tbh i am so so sick of discussing all this & listing yhe details for so many different people- i feel like a broken record, i feel like i am boring my friends (all of whom tend to be of the opinion that i am super mum & my girls the centre of the world) so it's like no one really gets any of it & i would really like to enjoy something about parenting again rather than discussing all of the worries
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home ed
Jun 1, 2016 17:40:03 GMT
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Post by blaze on Jun 1, 2016 17:40:03 GMT
I home ed and love it. But I worry for the future as my kids are small currently and need more of my attention yet it's hard to focus on their needs when I have work as well. But I write curriculums and make resources and my ceativingty is a great tool as we can turn almost any occurance into a learning opportunity. MMof you have any questions regarding home ed activities or such please feel free to ask. I used to work I schools, as a nanny, as teacher and student and I love learning. I also fully believe that home ed is the best way forward for most children these days. if i had one kid i would prob be pro home ed, or if i had two different ages (& reasoning/understanding skill levels) my pair are hugely oppositional with each other. While they likely have same underlying.problems they present differently. Fb needs social interaction however tough & confusing & stressful she finds it- she needs the validation she gets from others (she is breath takingly beautiful, funny, dramatic, natural leader so others tend to adore/idolise her) & sje gets bored easilt so she needs new and stimulating exleriemces- however much she can't cope with them. Sb is generally easy going if left to her own devises- while she obviously bemefits from socialinteraction if handled carefuley she genuinely is happier on her own at home pottering about & finds going out hugely overwhelming & others attension (id twins so equally stunning) overwhelming. They conflict massively with each other- to get sb out i normally need to bribe her to bump her over her anxiety (about goimg out & sensory issues if getting ready) which is easy enough in theory as she is a greatful kid who is pleased with anything new. Fb would happily go out without bribery on her own, but ofcourse she is domineering controling kid who wants what her sis has- so she will require the exact right toy from kinder egg to prevent huge melt down (which is really related to how depressed & anxious she is about the school *failure* at present. But we go round in circles like this- judging what bribe is worth us getting out (i need this also- fb is like myclone in alot of ways) & how many days a wk i can cope in the house with whinging & demanding to go now- while so exhausted with my own health problems. Some weeks are fine- a day of down time, a play date at ours, a play date or park & coffee shop with friends & theur kids, one day out to libary/museum/parketc & one day to forest school but tbh i am beyobd fking exhausted & resent having to be this switched on all the time. Am in the process of trying to sort a tutor on day a wk, a baby sitter for one morning so i can get a break & play thrrapist (all far too busy) all of which i will pay for- as waiting for lea to sort at home provision would be a lost cause. There is allways a conflict between their needs-before even looking at mine- & i allways have one unhappy either falling to pieces in v loud fashion or bottling it up which lead us to this in first place. It'sa mess.
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Post by blaze on Jun 1, 2016 18:02:29 GMT
Hi Blaze. The PDA Soc website is generally so bloody miserable (well, reading the forum comments). I feel very sorry for anyone with PDA who stumbles across it. We had an absolute nightmare - like take the worst you ca think of and multiply it tenfold - with CAMHs so I sympathise with all you're going through. If you want to chat about this offline at all, feel free, just for the ear of someone who has the t-shirt. Sounds like you're having a pretty hard time of it. Quick question though if you have been through camhs- after ignoring the referal & our phone calls they are now claiming the girls have been put up to urgent & sending a psychologist round to see us. I am thrilled they are sending someone to us- but also suspicious of it all too. Is this a sign of them taking us seriously or are they likely to fob us off claiming they did all they could by coming to us? Our gp is great & used to work for camhs so i am guessing it's her threats that got us an apooint (& she agrees 100% with adhd/pda/spd which i understand is rare to have a gp agree & back parents up) but still i feel v uncertain about camhs motives somehow
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alien
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home ed
Jun 8, 2016 16:39:12 GMT
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Post by alien on Jun 8, 2016 16:39:12 GMT
The short version ofnthe below: CAMHs bad/psychologist good. CAMHs psychologist? You seem a sensible sort. I think go with your instinct. Due to external pressure we often didn't but in hindsight it was never wrong. -- Hi again, blaze. Re CAMHs, I can only speak from our experiences with psychotherapists and one jobsworth psychiatrist. We never did get to meet with a psychologist, but the private diagnosis that we eventually had to opt for was via two psychologists (and was excellent - NAS Lorna Wing Centre) and we also met with an EP, eventually. All seemed to have a much greater understanding of our daughter (who sounds much like your Fb) than the CAMHs lot. My current belief (also informed by meeting three psychiatrists at my own ADHD assessment) is that psychologists are more likely to understand ND conditions rather than looking for and wanting to 'treat' (and often completely exacerbating in the case of CAMHs) mental health issues, rather than recognising the fact that mental health issues may have developed as a consequence of seeing the world a little differently and the responses/consequences of actions due to this can result in. Hope that helps. And I completely hear you about not wanting to retread the explanations.
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ananse
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Post by ananse on Jun 25, 2016 2:23:36 GMT
Hi Blaze. The PDA Soc website is generally so bloody miserable (well, reading the forum comments). I feel very sorry for anyone with PDA who stumbles across it. What is it making it miserable?
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home ed
Jun 30, 2016 11:00:03 GMT
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Post by blaze on Jun 30, 2016 11:00:03 GMT
Hi Blaze. The PDA Soc website is generally so bloody miserable (well, reading the forum comments). I feel very sorry for anyone with PDA who stumbles across it. What is it making it miserable? everyone seems v negative about evetything, but especially about their kids & future etc (& their kids all seem to have a teeny % of the problems mine do)
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alien
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Post by alien on Jul 6, 2016 8:33:34 GMT
Sorry for taking a while to respond, ananse, but yes, what blaze said. It's not all like that all the time of course, but it often does leave me a bit disenchanted. There seem to be an increasing number of autistic people using their forum too though, so hopefully that'll help even out the scales a bit in time.
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