Post by ACR on Jul 8, 2016 9:19:03 GMT
Hi all, My son is a kind, charming, hard working, capable, dynamic 24 yr old young man who unfortunately seems to be on a path of destruction. We, my partner and I, have tried to be supportive, tried to help, assist, guide and even take control ( with my son's consent when he feels he has failed and is feeling helpless, skint and vulnerable) Only to see all our efforts wiped out time and time and time again. Our relationship is under strain as we both get frustrated with each other but of course it is because we cant seem to find a way to put a united front together for our son, we have given him notice to move out and become independent with 6 months to prepare and yet deadline passes as he has not managed to secure any savings and is usually in a poorer financial position than before, if his car breaks down he uses ours, if he has no money to pay a bill we lend it to him without ever seeing the money returned, he says we should support him because that's what family does, and I know he means well and loves us etc etc but it is getting too much to live with on a daily basis. I feel like I am failing him because of my weaknesses or not being able to fund counselling for him or any other possible reason that I cant seem to help him! He has so much potential and I just want to see him settled happy, with the right kind of relationship and financially competent. I try to talk to him and he reassures me all is well until I realise its all lies because he does not want advice or to face the truth. The most concerning is he is now involved with a very unstable/ violent young lady who has got pregnant twice, lost the first and immediately trapped him a second time as he has no responsibility for contraception! The whole family warned him, tried to distract him from her but now it looks as though we could all pay the price of his 'disability'. I am a recovered suicidal depressive who now has a great future with my husband and career and my friends tell me that we are enabling his behaviours and he can learn through consequences of his actions but I am too soft on him as I feel his pain and frustrations but it is starting to take its toll on my mental wellbeing. He will always be my son and I love him but living with him is breaking me down and I am starting to feel bitter and resentful.