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Post by shiningbright on Jul 13, 2016 22:27:30 GMT
Oh dear, I couldn't read and not respond yet I'm sorry to say I have nothing of any worth to actually say but that I emphasise and I sincerely hope and pray that thinks improve for you ((hugs))
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Post by shiningbright on Jul 14, 2016 8:08:59 GMT
When I'm stressing out work and money wise I like to jot down my skills and experences in a mind map and I like to be honest but generous, as it helps me to see my 'transferable sklls'. For examples: telling my chldren what chores to do and helping them to do said chores is good management skills lol.
I also hate office politcs and have to intention to return. When my OH boss asked if I wanted a job wth them, to earn a slight wage and get an offical contract, etc. I freacked out 'nooooo!' style lol. I just knew I owuldn't be able to work as effectlivly if I actually had to deal with the people in the office. Normally when I talk to them, it's via email and under the name of my OH (I ghost write his emails lol). But I'm the sort to tell the bosses what for and I don't care about my wages so if I feel a boss is being unjust, I'll tell them even if it means I might loose my job. Everyone at work jokes that when offering my OH a contract change or new project, that they have to please me more them him. Which isn't stickly speaking true but I play to it because otherwise they'd take full advantage of my OH. Sorry... I've fully digressed there.
I never want to work again, even doing my OH emails and paperworkk spresses me out and I want to put my foot down but he really needs me.
So we've opted to go into business, self-employed. I get to work without the stresses of a wage and my OH gets to be my manager and I like that. We're planning to open a school inspired by how we home edcuate our chidlren. Just a small school, I get to enjoy the ealier days of any new project by doing an dplanning fun and educational learning actvties, then as my nterest wans and the business grows, then my job will be quality control and staff traning. So I'll only work part time. The paperwork looks complicated but it's actually very simple once seen all together - like puzzle peices.
What are your interests/hobbies? I personally think that if a person fibds a subject they are deeply pasionate about (like I have wth education), that that might be able to grow into something sustainable. Maybe you're good and crafts and can sell stuff at fairs or small shops. Maybe you can start a business around hair care or pet treatments, or maybe you're into ghost wrting, jurnalism, essays, etc. All of which you can do from home. Heck, even online tutoring is an option.
But there is nothing wrong with being a homemaker, it's as much a job as anything else (more so some might argue) - you're money worries wll pass because money is always fluid, it doesn't stay still for long. Like a river, you're is in a damn at the mnute and people can't take money from you that you don't have. They'll have no choice be to wait their turn. You could make contacts wth C.A.B. and other debt charities (CAB can best advice) who can help you. My mum had bills of over £22k but only has to pay about a fiver a week now.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Jul 15, 2016 9:58:00 GMT
Hi gc7 . . .just catching up as I'm having a few days holiday in London. . I prefer neurodevelopmental as a term over neuro-behavioural. . . You know my views about health professionals general ignorance. . . I can't tell you how many times I've read stories on here where people are told that either their obvious comorbidities must be tackled before ADHD dx. . .or before ADHD treatment . . This is because a physical (neurodevelopmental) issue is treated within the Mental Health system. They know what to do with mental illnesses and are trained to dx and treat them. . It's what they're comfortable with. . . they can't comprehend that difficulties caused by having a brain that works differently can CAUSE or exacerbate mental illnesses and personality disorders . . so by treating 'easy' comorbidities without addressing (or taking seriously) the underlying cause will never result in a lasting 'recovery' from anxiety, depression etc. . . I also agree that I have some unrelated mental health issues due to childhood experiences, But my psych seems to think that by exploring them will improve my overall mental health more than treating my ADHD, which he continues to refer to as my 'concentration difficulties'
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Post by shiningbright on Jul 18, 2016 17:10:04 GMT
And that right there is the reason why I don't want to seek a proper diagnosis. I just couldn't cope with the pressures and although I have a thick skin, it's not thick enough to be worrying about the social complications associated with being labeled as having a mental health illnesses.
I'm so sick of having to defend my emotional/physical state - no I'm not depressed; I'm fustrasted and emotionally drained. It's very vexing and too stressful for me.
I raise my hat (hijab lol) to those who can and do go through the system of assumptions lol.
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Post by shiningbright on Jul 19, 2016 15:35:22 GMT
I'm so glad that Dr ********* was good and respectful to you ;-) I hope this is the start of an upward trend :-)
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Post by vagueandrandom on Jul 19, 2016 15:40:46 GMT
I'm glad you finally had a positive response from someone gc7 it feels so good to be understood for a change You're right, counsellors and therapists don't pick up on ADHD because it's not generally included in their training, unlike depression, bipolar, BPD, anxiety. . .and other common mental illnesses. . . and they want to help. . I had psychodynamic therapy with the same psych over a long period of time (for depression etc) and what she wrote in my notes, although she wasn't looking for it, was what convinced my diagnosing ADHD specialist (who was reading between the lines/reading from an ADHD viewpoint) that his dx was sound.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Jul 24, 2016 17:31:13 GMT
I know how you feel. . .I'm also consumed by the whole thing, despite being dx. .
It's the constant battle to be taken seriously. . not only by the medical professionals,
by the shocking lack of understanding in society, the ignorance and stigma. .
Today I've spent most of the day writing a letter to my psych trying to politely explain
why I don't think he's qualified to treat my ADHD. . .
I'm only asking for a little understanding and support so I can get on with trying to
live my life a bit more successfully and happily through self-awareness, acceptance
and and some hard work on my part. .
Don't give up x
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Post by shiningbright on Jul 26, 2016 0:18:01 GMT
Extremely interesting post :-) takes me back a few years (memory lane trip) - I have a point and I'll tell it be for I tell my story in case i loose it lol.
Point - most of what psychologist call 'disorders' are just life, normal stuff, derived from subconscious needs and or desires.
Okay- story (sorry if it unwanted): my childhood wasn't fun. Don't get me wrong I have tons of happy memories and I'm extremely greatful for my lofe- it what made me the person I am today. But it wasn't a picnic. I'll not go into forty details but for the sake of the story there was neglect, various forms of abuse and a hulla lotta trauma.
Well, I went crazy. Literally. And if I had told anyone I would have been hospitalized. I'll keep it brief, there were a few things, but the one that relates to your post is the one of me creating a split personality. Not really but yes really. I made two mes inside my mind. One who took the abuse and cried and one who picked up and moved on. I named her Jade. She had been my imaginary friend when I was a girl and she became another part of me as a teen especially.
Over time, and lots of self reflections (mostly t hrought chats with jade and then me) 'jade' became more real and I found myself standing up for myself and becoming jade and not being then me anymore. Then one day I had a choice - I could stay the scared kid I was or I could literally become jade.
I did the later- even changed my name officially. In my mind I 'killed' the old me to make space for the new me, for jade. So that I could be the best version of myself.
That all sounds very 'psychotic' from some points of view. But really it's not. It's totally normal and everyone at some Point in their life, probably several points in their life, face themselves in a similar position - maybe not with a full blow. Imaginary version of oneself that they assimilate, but we all have to pick what version of our self we want to be.
Back to my point. A lot of what psychiatrists view is based on the sense that the brain is a set machine that has a right and wrong operating mode. That's not true. Rather the mind is like the ocean, some patterns that we can deverlve but mostly unreachable, unreadable and unqualtifiable (wow I like that word today lol).
So always take a dx with a pinch of salt because it's all down to perspective.
One person's perceptive of my story would be that I went through a psychotic break caused by traumatic events. Another's would be that I acted upon the only survival skills i had available to me (my imagination) and others still will have other views.
It's ridiculous that one person's perspective such had such effects in another's life. Any Dr worth his (or her) salt knows that it's all just guess work that has a habit of working more often then not lol.
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6impossiblethings
Member's not posted much yet
'There's no use trying,' said Alice. 'One can't believe impossible things.'
Posts: 7
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Post by 6impossiblethings on Jul 26, 2016 13:18:41 GMT
'Not waving but drowning' sums up how I feel in adult life!
Thanks for sharing about your experiences. I can relate to your financial woes - I did not have a proper career or steady job until I was 32... despite having a good degree and a professional qualification, I just couldn't make it happen...
I completely echo your thoughts on the modern workplace. It is anathema for ADHDers. There MUST be a job out there for you, though?
I am a teacher now, and although I struggle daily with filing, deadlines, marking, organisation, forward planning, and time keeping, and often get to the end of term a physical and emotional wreck, I would recommend working in a secondary school as a career for ADHDers! Teenagers are the best company, because they are basically all a bit ADHD, every day is different, you are rewarded for thinking on your feet and being creative / dynamic. AND you get weeks of holidays in which you can let it all go, lose the routine, eat pizza for breakfast, forget to do stuff, etc etc... The 'instant dopamine' reward for me is how much I love the job on a day to day basis. I hated school so much and was so miserable, it's so great to be making sure that other kids don't suffer the same fate I did.
It pays too, which is a source of constant amazement. This hasn't helped my financial woes however as now I just have a bit more money to mismanage. But it's a good point to be starting from. ..
I hope this hasn't come across as 'gloating' - 'oh get me and my amazing job' - I just wanted to say I relate, and feel the same, and that I found a job that worked for me, after years of believing I was unemployable, so please don't lose heart.
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Post by shiningbright on Jul 26, 2016 15:15:42 GMT
Most people would be able to hold back when that gerbil-brained manager announces his/her brilliant new idea (which is actually going to create a whole lot of unnecessary work with no real benefits) at the weekly meeting, or if they come in at 5.30pm on a Friday and tell you that they need a report typing up and 30 copies must be prepared and ready for first thing on Monday. If you're impulsive, have the tendency to blurt and you're already feeling stressed...disaster awaits. Similarly, sticking your neck out on behalf of colleagues - who all scurry off when the sh*t hits the fan - is something that people who have less conventional thinking (i.e. not motivated by reward) would do. This made me laugh - When i read it i saw (one of) my old managers face in my brain. I was a volunteer (I found that if I worked for a wage it made everything much harder) and did about 30-40 hours a week, plus 10 - 20 paid nanny hours elsewhere, at a charity. I had four job titles/roles and was also tasked with general admin errands (the data fling that others don't want to do kinda thing), so people (7 perople to be precise) would come to me each day and ask me to do such n such a task. I'd then aska couple of questons to find out how much of a prority it was on my to do list, then I'd agree to return date for the task but would inform them if it didn;t get done becuase someone else gave me additonal higher prioirty tasks. Everyone seemed fine wth that and were grateful to have someoen to do what they didnt want to do lol. Well, on day the manager asks me to do something and I treated her the same as I treat everyone in the office. She seemed to expect that because she was manager she'd somehow bump up the list on that alone, even through other people were relying on me. I kept calm and politely informend her of the tasks that were more improtant then hers (I put it less bluntly then that at the time) and we agreed a compltetion date for each of the tasks - she wanted a few done). Then later on I'm toiling away on sonsos work and the manager comes by and is questioning me on why the cups are on the sink side an dnot in the cupbaords. I said that I don't know as I didn't wash them that day (the lass who'd given me a task to do while she tended to a service users emergency needs cleaned them for me). but the kitchen was next to my office space so that somehow meant I was responsible for them. then she's asking me why the smaller of the tasks she gave me hadn't been done yet. I told her that we'd agreed the ned of the week for that task and I was working on earlier ones currently. She got very hoity with me and started grillng me on my workload, I told her she's welcome to review the lot if she wants but that she'll not like the results - I did alot more then my 25 hour contract agreed too and most of it was not on the projects I was orinally placed for (I was actvites coordinator and I dd alot of good work while there). Her face was a picture. I don't think she's ever had anyone not just follow her blindly before. Well a week later she spoke to another staff memebr about my behavour when on a feild trp wth the servce users. We went to themepark, all boys only one female service user and 3 female staff and me. The female service user was very uncomfortable around the boys and even around the staff, so we spent the first half of the day just her and me around the park - something I had mentioned might be an occurance cos of her needs and got permission from for the lady who later told me off for it on the managers behest lol. Anyway, suddenly we'd gone from helping her adapt to a new enviroment without the stress of the males around her, then slowly encourage her to mix with the whole group more (which she did in the end) to me dragging her off at the park and denying her the soicalisation oppoeruntiies she deserved. I knew that the manager had set the lady up to do this becasue she used words and phases that she didn't normally use but were more in line with the kinds of terms the manager would use lol. I descend sod it and left the same day. They havn't had a successful activites coordinator scne to my knowledge. Their loss. As for jobs - teaching is awesome but the paperwork is super heavy. I love teaching, I thnk it's of fundamental importance and I think ADHDers are good at it ebcause we don't see the world thought the lenses of conformity. And chidlren haven't learn comformty yet, so we're skilled to be good role models for them. We have a unique skill set. I personally plan to open my own school then leave it to my OH to deal with, but he wants me to keep on top of the staff training in a quality control kinda way. I just want to focus on educating my kids lol.
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Post by shiningbright on Jul 26, 2016 22:05:09 GMT
My biggest problems were co-workers rather than bosses. I always had to find work that suits my interests, so I could maintain focus. But when I'm interested I get hyperfocused so I can do a lot more work then those around me with less effort so long as I have a suitable amount of down time to recover.
When I worked for a wage then my co-workers would give me their work then complain about me to the not power hungry managers who'd all be impressed by my work but would tell me I need to act dumber and slow down cause I'm making the others feel threatened. I left that job and told them that if they gonna feel t hreaterned by me doing their work then why'd they give it to me lol.
I then had a 'boss' on off the parents I nannied for. I'd booked a holiday two weeks in advance (I worked 2-8 hout s every day for them so I made sure they had plenty time to arrange my taking one weekend off) and got a call the morning of my last day off asking me to come in. I was the other side of the country lol. I told them the time I'd be able to get thereand I actually fgot there five minutes before the time I said I'd be there only for him to turn around and start shouting at me about my being his employee and that if I wanted payment then I should do my work. So I let him talk his talk. I then calmly reminded him that he pays me off the books, tax free, less then national min wage and that he is a questionable character who I o my work for because of his children not cos of him. He'd never had anyone talk back to him. Let alone a woman. When his wife ran off with the kids I wrote her a letter for the courts to help her get her devorce - she had gone through a lot.
And I'll never forget the day one of my school teachers pulled me into a side room and shouted at me about being late to school - I lived a 2/6 hour hour net away depending on traffic and would often get the 5 am bus to get there on time. But some days the traffic sucked (and some days I didn't want to go in lol). Well she shouted all sorts of nonsense, called me stupid and such and such. The whole class was laughing at me through the open door. I let her finished, I'll never forget it. She said 'have you anything to say for yourself?' I said 'yes if you're completely finished miss' she said she was so I reminded her that she a didn't have the right to talk to me like this and that she was b eing unprofessional and edging on bullish (she was a total bully to me my whole time there). I then carefully reminded her that I was on first name basis with the head teacher (as of two days before when I gave him a piece of my mind on his school policies in front of his PA and a board meeting)... the kids started laughing at her then. Only time I felt like I'd won lol. I still got bullied afterwards but it made tho gs a lot easier because the other kids in schools thought I was brave even if weird lol
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Post by shiningbright on Jul 27, 2016 10:48:48 GMT
Snap snap and snap
I can directly relate to every word you just said dear :-)
We're just clever sods and all we want is peace and freedom to be ourselves, yet others seem to take it upon themselves to fix or challenge or undermin us (for reasons both well meaning and victisus, depending on the person).
I'm not a paranoid person but I can come across that way sometimes. I'm deeply aware of everything around me, so I can tell when someone is lying to me, when they're trying to manipulate me or when they're just being plain old bitches for whatever reason.
What they dontb know if that I act based on what I think or feel no matter what they say. So I might choose to allow someone to lie to me because I prefer the lie o r I think its a fun story. I might let someone think they've manipulated me if it means I can do the stuff I want to do lol. And if someone wants to be a bitch with me they'll miss my useful skills when I'm gone - I never stay one place for long anyway. I year was my longest jot.
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Post by shiningbright on Jul 27, 2016 10:48:59 GMT
Snap snap and snap
I can directly relate to every word you just said dear :-)
We're just clever sods and all we want is peace and freedom to be ourselves, yet others seem to take it upon themselves to fix or challenge or undermin us (for reasons both well meaning and victisus, depending on the person).
I'm not a paranoid person but I can come across that way sometimes. I'm deeply aware of everything around me, so I can tell when someone is lying to me, when they're trying to manipulate me or when they're just being plain old bitches for whatever reason.
What they dontb know if that I act based on what I think or feel no matter what they say. So I might choose to allow someone to lie to me because I prefer the lie o r I think its a fun story. I might let someone think they've manipulated me if it means I can do the stuff I want to do lol. And if someone wants to be a bitch with me they'll miss my useful skills when I'm gone - I never stay one place for long anyway. I year was my longest jot.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Aug 2, 2016 16:00:46 GMT
I very rarely get selected for interview . . I recently failed to be selected for interview for a job that I was perfect for, I had my application checked by my employment advisor too, who thought it was brilliant. . Anyway, yes. . It goes 2 ways. .either they like me and my ways, or I'm either too chatty or too quiet . .and the inappropriate information and body language, eye contact, going blank, fidgeting. .
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Post by vagueandrandom on Aug 5, 2016 16:08:29 GMT
Hi gc7 you can tag someone by putting @ before their username . . .this only works if they haven't changed their username since joining (like smogz) . . or you can click on the toolbar icon (top right) that looks like a person with @ on their shoulder and start typing their username until they pop up and then click on them Overthinking. . yes. . before an interview or meeting. . running through all the possibles and probables . . and after, the mistakes and embarrassments. . . I can ruminate over these for weeks. . . I know that you should prepare for interviews, but sometimes I deliberately try to clear my mind, distract myself . . go for a walk. . take myself somewhere else and have a fatalistic attitude that they'll either like me, or they won't. For the past week or so, and especially yesterday, I haven't been able to think about anything else but what was going to happen at my psych appointment. . I thought of every possibility and approach and printed off a tree-load of information. . .but it didn't go to any of my plans. . I'll probably spend the next few days/weeks thinking about what happened and what to do now. . . Perceived criticism. . yup! Good in a crisis. . tick! I'm not sure if CBT thinking about thinking is why I don't get on with it. . it's more like I know the way I *should* think and the way that I *do* think, but can't make myself think any differently. My experience of therapy in general is that thinking about thinking makes things worse at first. . a good therapist will ask the right questions for you to find your own resolution. . it's a shame there are not too many good therapists out there.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Aug 6, 2016 11:58:20 GMT
My head is full of interesting facts. .'interesting' is the key. .
I can find *something* interesting in most things, which I think is due to avoiding boredom,
or seeking stimulation . .
I also find that writing things down helps me to remember . .the act of writing and the visual reminder,
even if I don't look at it again, I can visualise the words . .
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Post by vagueandrandom on Aug 10, 2016 16:20:15 GMT
gc7 yes, being acutely self-aware can make things even more stressful. I lived 48 years thinking that my quirks and neuroses were part of my character . . and possibly mental illness, or personality disorder. . . Learning about and meeting other people with ADHD proves to me that it's a way of thought-processing, which takes some adjustment because previously my only point of reference was myself. .I'm 'normal' to me and it didn't occur to me that other people's brains worked in such a different way. What's most difficult? The general negative and I'll-informed attitude towards ADHD from society and medical professionals . . ,and the constant battle to get any kind of treatment or understanding. . . I don't want the fight taking over my life. . I want to get on with living it.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Aug 11, 2016 12:24:02 GMT
A dx doesn't mean that you'll necessarily be taken more seriously gc7 unfortunately. It gives me security in that I have 'proof' . .and I'm not delusional, or suffering from the variey of mental illnesses that I've been labelled with over the years and feel more confident about speaking out and standing my ground. BUT I shouldn't have to! There are a lot of small petitions going around. .the latest one I saw was about more awareness and training for teachers. .but I think that there should be something bigger, less specialised . .all the petitions I've seen have been about individuals specific personal difficulties around ADHD. .dx, meds, education etc The mapping survey, with all it's flaws (and there are a lot of flaws in it's design) is going some way to identify areas where there is no specialist ADHD service, which has to be good. Before the Referendum, I wrote a letter with another forum member addressing the patchiness of adult services and the common difficulties that are faced in trying to get a dx and meds. It also highlighted that the lack of adult services meant that children were often left without treatment when they became too old for CAMHS. It was intended to then include personal stories as we thought that mixing up our stories with the general facts confused the core issues and looked like it was about personal grievances. Then, after Brexit. . well . .no politician is going to be interested in our problems until things settle down, so it's on ice. .I'd be happy to include more personal stories when the time is right. It's suitable to be copied and sent to any MP.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Aug 17, 2016 11:14:14 GMT
I agree gc7 . . I was expecting a discussion and although it was accurate, it was still just an 'expert' with a couple of snippets from emails that only touched on issues such as being misdiagnosed with mental illnesses, or that being undiagnosed can impact on mental health and quality of life. It was far too brief. Also, the discussion was announced as 'adult onset ADHD' and then pretty much said that it's a lifelong condition and dx in adults is likely to be because it was missed in childhood. You know that I also have issues with PI being seen as predominantly a 'girls' type. . . it's evident from this forum that PI is just generally missed because it causes less behavioural problems in school. . .in girls AND boys. . . There are plenty of hyperactive girls who are also not being identified, possibly because of societal expectations. . less 'naughty' and more chatty perhaps. . although I WAS naughty and disruptive, but that was in the '70's. . Anyway, I'm thinking of sending an email suggesting a longer, more in-depth programme.
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Post by annie on Sept 6, 2016 14:11:27 GMT
That's good news gc7 - how long do you have to wait to be seen? I may have misunderstood one of your earlier posts but are you being seen at the Maudsley on a private basis?
From what you describe, the various "assessments" you've undergone seem to have come up with a variety of "dx's". Whilst ADHD can be co-morbid with other psychiatric conditions, I do hope you finally get some clarification from the Maudsley.
Good luck
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Post by annie on Sept 12, 2016 20:26:39 GMT
Good luck with your appointment this week.
Some time ago I bought the UKAAN "Handbook for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in adults" and it did recommend several rating scales which should be filled in by both the patient and someone close to them, prior to the actual assessment interview.Whilst it can be a bit of a challenge to give an accurate description of the range of difficulties experienced by someone with untreated ADHD, I must say I much prefer the opportunity for an individual to be given time to reflect on these difficulties prior to the actual assessment interview. It is so disappointing to see how many people are "thrown" into the assessment, without having completed any rating scales, only to come out of the interview feeling they haven't covered all their difficulties. It does make me wonder how many Adult ADHD services have actually taken on board UKAAN's recommendations?
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jj11
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Post by jj11 on Sept 12, 2016 21:24:29 GMT
I was much too far out all my life And not waving but drowning.Stevie Smith Today was one of those days when everything seems to come crashing down. The pressure of having complaints about two separate doctors ongoing, struggling to navigate the savage DWP system, living on a pittance, being fined for making an honest mistake about medical benefits and still battling to get a diagnosis got the better of me. I ended up bursting into tears whilst calling the MIND phone line. It probably didn't help that I had already been hanging on for over 45 minutes to try to speak to someone at their Legal Helpline. I didn't get through in the end, so just called the general MIND line. The person I spoke to was very sympathetic, but suggested I might try seeking Legal Aid. No chance of that after government cuts. I need to know what my rights are if I don't pay the private psychiatrist who didn't assess me properly for ADHD and against whom I have an open complaint with the GMC. Complaining about two separate doctors (one NHS and one private) continues to be a source of huge psychological pressure and drains my energy. It feels hopeless - from the outset the odds are stacked in favour of the professional and against the patient; especially if the patient is being seen for a condition that is grouped with mental health problems. When writing my letters, I choose my words carefully; each episode recounted in detail. The argument is clear and reasonable, but I might as well shout at a brick wall. This morning I went with my husband to see the Citizen's Advice Bureau about our benefits eligibility. It turns out that we should be claiming more help. I should have been exempt from NHS charges back in February when I unwittingly claimed a free dental check-up without having filled in form HC1. I am currently on contributions-based ESA and didn't know that you needed to complete a means-test form to get an exemption certificate. There are yet more forms to fill in. I am now looking into whether I may be able to claim PIP, but scanning the form it looks as though the same person who wrote the indicators for ESA must have written the ones for PIP. The questions are not appropriate for assessment of the impact of something like ADHD or, for that matter, many types of mental health conditions. I definitely need some help from somebody who knows how to navigate this type of form. Hence the call to MIND to ask about advocacy. Waiting on hold and watching the clock - "all our operators are busy at the moment..." Someone from my local branch of MIND is going to call me back. It seems that being unemployable is a full time job. Today's post brought a copy letter to my GP from the NHS psychologist I saw twice recently. I had explained everything to her and think she understood. However, I was a little disappointed at the wording of her letter: " I have met with Mrs G twice for the purpose of trying to listen to her and help her towards thinking about herself and her difficulties, which to some degree I think she was able to. Given that she strongly feels and has researched that she has not been adequately assessed for Adult ADHD, I was unable to complete an assessment for psychotherapy."Quite non-committal on her part, I think. The bit about "thinking about herself and her difficulties" is ironic. I sometimes wish I could bloody well think about something else! Well, at least she didn't say that she thought I was utterly barking. I feel angry with myself for allowing 'them' space in my head and letting it overwhelm me. Sometimes it does feel like a very lonely struggle, but giving up is not an option. Teary outburst has caused mascara to run, leaving me with an effect somewhere between Alice Cooper and disappointed panda. Gonna go and fix the warpaint and get ready for the next battle.
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jj11
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Post by jj11 on Sept 12, 2016 21:24:52 GMT
I was much too far out all my life And not waving but drowning.Stevie Smith Today was one of those days when everything seems to come crashing down. The pressure of having complaints about two separate doctors ongoing, struggling to navigate the savage DWP system, living on a pittance, being fined for making an honest mistake about medical benefits and still battling to get a diagnosis got the better of me. I ended up bursting into tears whilst calling the MIND phone line. It probably didn't help that I had already been hanging on for over 45 minutes to try to speak to someone at their Legal Helpline. I didn't get through in the end, so just called the general MIND line. The person I spoke to was very sympathetic, but suggested I might try seeking Legal Aid. No chance of that after government cuts. I need to know what my rights are if I don't pay the private psychiatrist who didn't assess me properly for ADHD and against whom I have an open complaint with the GMC. Complaining about two separate doctors (one NHS and one private) continues to be a source of huge psychological pressure and drains my energy. It feels hopeless - from the outset the odds are stacked in favour of the professional and against the patient; especially if the patient is being seen for a condition that is grouped with mental health problems. When writing my letters, I choose my words carefully; each episode recounted in detail. The argument is clear and reasonable, but I might as well shout at a brick wall. This morning I went with my husband to see the Citizen's Advice Bureau about our benefits eligibility. It turns out that we should be claiming more help. I should have been exempt from NHS charges back in February when I unwittingly claimed a free dental check-up without having filled in form HC1. I am currently on contributions-based ESA and didn't know that you needed to complete a means-test form to get an exemption certificate. There are yet more forms to fill in. I am now looking into whether I may be able to claim PIP, but scanning the form it looks as though the same person who wrote the indicators for ESA must have written the ones for PIP. The questions are not appropriate for assessment of the impact of something like ADHD or, for that matter, many types of mental health conditions. I definitely need some help from somebody who knows how to navigate this type of form. Hence the call to MIND to ask about advocacy. Waiting on hold and watching the clock - "all our operators are busy at the moment..." Someone from my local branch of MIND is going to call me back. It seems that being unemployable is a full time job. Today's post brought a copy letter to my GP from the NHS psychologist I saw twice recently. I had explained everything to her and think she understood. However, I was a little disappointed at the wording of her letter: " I have met with Mrs G twice for the purpose of trying to listen to her and help her towards thinking about herself and her difficulties, which to some degree I think she was able to. Given that she strongly feels and has researched that she has not been adequately assessed for Adult ADHD, I was unable to complete an assessment for psychotherapy."Quite non-committal on her part, I think. The bit about "thinking about herself and her difficulties" is ironic. I sometimes wish I could bloody well think about something else! Well, at least she didn't say that she thought I was utterly barking. I feel angry with myself for allowing 'them' space in my head and letting it overwhelm me. Sometimes it does feel like a very lonely struggle, but giving up is not an option. Teary outburst has caused mascara to run, leaving me with an effect somewhere between Alice Cooper and disappointed panda. Gonna go and fix the warpaint and get ready for the next battle.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Sept 17, 2016 7:44:06 GMT
Go girl! I'm pursuing a complaint with the CCG . . I got another letter this week saying that I could only get funding if I was 'clinically exceptional' . . Why is there no 'rolling eyes' emoji? . . . I'm also going to get back to my MP letter-writing, we can compare notes. At least you now have proof that the Drs opinion was wrong!
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Post by annie on Sept 17, 2016 13:35:20 GMT
Hi gc7
I am absolutely delighted for you - seems a bit of an odd thing to say given you've finally been dx with ADHD!!
Your whole journey to receive a proper assessment has been horrendous and does shine a light on how far many MHT's have to go before a Trust can be categorised as good/outstanding. Some people might have been daunted by the battle but quite a lot of adults (with ADHD) can be very determined and in your case it's paid off. I do hope you find the meds beneficial.
Vagueandrandom. I've heard CCG's using thst "clinically exceptional" argument and it just does not stand up!! An adult ADHD service is something all CCG's should be commissioning, full stop. Each CCG will be commissioning a CAMHS in their area. In each of these CAMHS will be young people who have a dx of ADHD and many of them will require an Adult ADHD service. Passing them through to AMHS where it is well known that there's not a level of expertise in general psychiatry (general psychiatrists are likely to have little or no experience in treating ADHD given that, until recently it was thought young people "grew out" of it)seems to be so short sighted - job half done!! What about doing a FOI request to your local CAMHS to ask how many (numbers and %) young people continue to require treatment, post 18. Also,how many of those have been accepted by AMHS?
I've long thought there's an argument for pressing CCG to explain why they are not providing an Adult ADHD clinic for those young people who need to transit to AMHS. I believe it would be difficult for CCG's to argue against this. It would then follow on that those adults who weren't dx in childhood would have a local service. Good luck with your complaint.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Sept 19, 2016 16:04:54 GMT
I agree with you gc7 and annie . . I don't want to hijack your diary, but I'd just like to reply to Annie's last post. My argument with the CCG is that I don't need to be clinically exceptional. . I have ADHD, they have no specialists, and I'd like to continue the treatment that I started, and didn't complete (due to moving here). . As far as I'm aware, there is also no NHS specialist service for ADHD in children within the CCG. The CCG will fund dx, but not treatment with a private paediatric consultant at a local private hospital. CAMHS is then responsible for support, but I don't know if there's any provision for medication. It's absolutely shocking! Complaint, letters to MPs and possibly to the local paper all in progress. . I'm also considering informing organisations such as UKAAN.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Sept 22, 2016 10:21:04 GMT
Hi gc7 I seem to have missed your past couple of posts. . I've been trying to focus on my own complaint letter. I think I'll hold off my MP/local paper letters until I get an outcome. I'll be causing a fuss regardless of the outcome as they seem to be using deliberately technical/confusing/ambiguous language and demanding further 'evidence' without giving any guidance as to what they require. I'm so glad that I was dx before moving here, because the CCG make it so difficult to get out of area funding for anything and their 'adequate' MH Service would have just dx more mental illnesses and made me feel delusional for insisting that I have ADHD . . which was my experience even with letters confirming my dx from SLaM specialists. I feel so angry and sorry for anyone who thinks that they might have ADHD in Hull and asks for assessment. . or young people who, although they are supported by CAMHS also don't have access to an NHS specialist consultant and are likely to be abandoned, unsupported when they reach 18. We all need to shout as loudly as we can! computermandan is saying he's going to set up some social media campaigning group while he's convalescing . .
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Post by computermandan on Sept 22, 2016 10:44:15 GMT
That i am not sure how effective it would be for this... aiming more informative to be honest... i don't have the perseverance for serious things... however i've been told by a friend that ADDISS can be very supportive in this kind of thing... might be worth contacting them?
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Post by computermandan on Sept 22, 2016 11:19:55 GMT
☺ thank you. I do believe Addiss could at least offer support if nothing else. I've heard good things of them
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kw
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 29
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Post by kw on Sept 26, 2016 12:57:14 GMT
Loving the positivity , but so frustrating to have things written about you and be able to do nothing about them
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