cous101
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Posts: 3
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Post by cous101 on Jul 28, 2016 19:12:01 GMT
Hi all, I've not been on for quite a while and I'm hoping I'm in the right place. I was diagnosed back in Feb with having ADHD Inattentive type, severe. I started on Concerta XL back in May. The delay was I had high BP that needed controlling first. Since then they have been titrating up monthly and I'm now just about to start on 72mg daily. I am also on Citalopram for anxiety and depression.
The problem is since I've been diagnosed I seem to be worse than ever! Beforehand I didn't know what was wrong with me and just kept struggling up hill and wondered constantly why I kept failing, but the point is I carried on! Now nothing seems to be getting any better and I just want to give up as I can't move forward. People say once they were diagnosed it changed their lives, and to a point when I was diagnosed I felt complete relief, like a weight a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. However 2 months down the line and I feel worse than ever. To cap it all I've just lost my job and I feel like the worst person ever and sometimes wish I didn't know.
I don't know whether I am dwelling on it too much and if so how to stop or if I I'm expecting too much too soon. I really don't know. All I do know is I'm really struggling now and my depression is getting worse, I just want to lie in bed all day and do nothing. Can anyone please help or give me some guidance, I'm really struggling.
Thank you
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Post by vagueandrandom on Jul 29, 2016 16:58:40 GMT
Hi cous101 I'm sorry you're not doing well. Did you lose your job due to ADHD? Being out of work can be depressing. . too much time to think. . to blame yourself and feel useless. . also, although getting dx can feel like an enormous relief, the truth is that you're still the same person, with the same problems. . .meds can't help with that, you have to help yourself. Have you been offered any ADHD adapted counselling? Sometimes the meds at a low dose can make you feel worse, I know that when I was on concerta I felt so tired and unmotivated, my concentration was worse. . .however, my moods were more stable, if on the low side. Go back to your doctor or psychiatrist, tell them how you feel. . .ask for help. . . You could see if there's a support group near you, it helps to talk. . talk to us here. .you don't have to live with this alone. Look after yourself.
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cous101
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 3
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Post by cous101 on Jul 29, 2016 17:18:03 GMT
Hi vagueandrandom and thanks for the response. Part of the reason I lost my job was through ADHD. To be fair they have tried to help but I'm in sales and when I struggle to follow through with customers or place orders on time it is difficult for them. They've given me lots of help where they can but they are only a small company and time is against us all! No I haven't been offered any adapted counselling and I really think that's what I need. I understand the meds aren't a cure all but at the moment I just feel worse. I'm hoping the increase will start to help. I start them tomorrow so lets see. I live in Hereford and there is no support group. I want to start one but I'm not sure where to look for other members and I don't think I'm quite in the right frame of mood at the moment! I'm hoping this forum can help me more
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Post by heisenberg on Jul 30, 2016 0:45:56 GMT
I was diagnosed when i was 12 but didnt officially come to terms with it until i was 18, im now 26 and i still havent got a hold of it,
i too have had a delay in pharmaceutical treatment, i have a cardiac arrythmia, but il get there and take that step when i get the ok.
I have tried treatment before and before a caridac diagnoses ,i didnt stick with the treatment, it wasnt enjoyable to say the least and because of the arrythmia, is it any wonder i was anxious, on meds my heart rate was very high, good thing they look out for congenital heart issues now before prescription.
I quit my job and havent been the same since and dont think i ever will be, and am still in a waiting game for surgery before i can attempt medication so im stuck in limbo,while everyone and society pressures me.
I just seem to be falling deeper and deeper into dispair with this fucking world and how i dont fit in it and in a way dont really want to anymore ,but at least i understand what is going on, I still dont know how the fuck im supposed to live with this condition
My only methods to my survival are weight training long distance running ,hiking and whatever subconcious coping mechanism i have, im basically trying to keep my head above water, i set goals to get fit and stay lean and its something that instills healthy eating, future oriented behavior and a boost of endorphins, its a start
,long distance running clears my head and i feel like i can use my adhd torments to fight against my physical limitations, when my body says no more i use my restlessness to say fuck you im controlling the situation,and i can conquer it and it makes me feel great for a while.and i feel i can achieve what i set out to.
Its not great fun when you first start but it gets enjoyable, and now i love it, i dont know u or ur exercise experience, but if u havent alot it is defintley worth it.
Our bodies are designed to be used, our anatomy has evolved through the hunter gatherer era which in the great swing of things wasnt that long ago, sitting around docile stuck glued to an unnatural screen or working in a job sitting on ur ass or waiting at a till all day isnt satisfying, and has been proven to be unhealthy, new cells are constantly being broken down,and if you dont use them, over time they become weak,(thats just the natural order )our minds are deeply connected with our bodies and at a level we dont always realise, use ur muscles and organs ,build them up stronger and you will feel good,its something in the arsensal to balance out what adhd does psycologically,
If i had it my way id train and run 24/7, i like to go mountain running,beach running etc and this may sound crazy to some but im thinking of getting a tent and going wild camping for a few days and just hike fish etc, seems to make me actually feel happiness or else a sense of freedom
I get depressed like every 2 weeks or so and training is the only thing that keeps me fighting,
Start training, become intimate with ur inner strength,and fight against being beaten down By adhd in our modern world,i dont think its comfortable for so many people to be living on top of each other in our packed. And messy society at times i feel trapped to be honest,and having a subconcious guideline of who i should be feels like abuse especially because im biologically so different but yet kinda the same, i like Getting away in nature it relaxes me. stick at it when im depressed i let it go and i stop wanting to fight but as soon As i go running im back in fight mode , i have a biological disorder and i live alone with it, running awakens my body and mind and helps me tell my adhd to go fuck itself
Its a stressful and confusing life, adhd, find whatever soothes it,
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Post by heisenberg on Jul 30, 2016 1:03:33 GMT
When i said i find having to fit societies guidelines as abuse i meant more like torture , torture for someone biologically designed differently. everyone adhd or not is under societal strains so we all have certain expectations.bad choice of wording
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Post by vagueandrandom on Jul 30, 2016 8:41:29 GMT
Some good points . .not all of us can run. .but a lot of people find physical exercise good.
Even if it's going out for a walk. .it's free, and you can do it anywhere!
I walk an awful lot and find that it's good for my mind.
I also love to dance and swim, some people cycle. . .do what's good for you.
It isn't just good for ADHD, it can help your depression. . and you'll get physically fit too!
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Post by heisenberg on Jul 30, 2016 15:34:54 GMT
Absolutley, you do not just have to run to get the benefit,that was just my personal means to partake in moving my body, in which i am very lucky.
Walking is great too, just getting outside and as close to nature,away from the noise and distraction of the city is a good thing, a forest ,beach or even a park is good for the mind,and body
when ur stuck indoors too much or just being idol alot of the time, sure u might feel comfortable, but eventually begin to feel edgey, its our body and mind telling us to get move,which must have been a survival mechanism.
I find it very interesting,like our bodies have been predesigned preconditioned to move.... to live, and if we dont we get depressed or restless,(obviously there is many reasons why we get depressed) i still cant workout what part adhd has in this system, but it definitley does have a variation in the nervous system and by that i mean why are we always in that state of edgy restlessness, does it have a purpose.
i get depressed because my adhd wont let me thrive in todays world, without fighting my own biology to sit still and focus i have the ability, but my mind wants me to be elsewhere, like it has an agenda ,like i have pent up energy and i cant listen and sit still for hours on end because i have an internal urge to move and find stimulation.
the theory of adhd being of benefit in hunter gatherer times i find quite interesting, always needing to move,constantly scanning surroundings , sensitive to sound,endless energy, never happy internal restlessness unless getting a boost of dopamine.
it myt appear that adhd genes could have been handed down to us by our ancestors from the hunter gatherer era or before ,would they have been a thriving hunter or explorer, driven by the buzz of hunting and constant searching rather than there own happiness,
Happiness today is aquired by different means, we are conditioned to what makes us happy, some of which are fitting into society and its current beliefs,getting a well paid job,having a good image, being fashonable, being cultured etc etc
being respected is gauged by societies standards,thats a broad simplefication but its true, look at fashion look how the beards back in lol society and how its been shaped over 1000s of years has created new levels of comfort and opportunities and we humans have changed aswell obviously not alot in the last 2000 years,
But ,alot of the research says we where around millions of years ago, back then we where probably VERY different.
back then everything was survival, simply moving around hunting and populating the earth was sufficient to aquire happiness, was happiness even a fully evolved emotion,if you look at it from a disorderd brain standpoint happiness myt be more to do with relief of symptoms. there are certain behaviors that soothe or work with that type of brain and whatever tasks soothed this type of brain may have been a benefit in that enviroment for survival and maybe human evolution and the rest came later,il.explain why,
eventually a base level society was slowly begining and so was human evolution
Hunting back then was probably alot different than today, today we have more control over our enviroment and the knowledge to conquer it,
back then we had bigger ferocious creatures, extreme spectrums of terrain and hazardous enviroments.
Everyday was probably a fight for survival, and having the balls to fight to hunt and survive, with adhd as an example you wouldnt think of the consequences and probably risk your own life hunting such beasts ,because you would probably get a buzz of dopamine and hyperfocus, ocd could have been a benefit ,obsessiveness over insects,disease, poisonoius plants,ritualistic behaviour may have kept people from dieing,
there is millions of people with adhd,ocd,autism,bipolar and for all we know theses genetic variations have come from those eras and actually had survival skills born into us. I read an article about it once and if i can remember the name il tag it.
For so many people to have these conditions, and still do, i find it hard to believe they are not a part of human evolution and have had there benefits in previous realities, theres so much i wish i understood about this earth
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eli77
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 33
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Post by eli77 on Oct 5, 2016 21:19:37 GMT
Hi Cous 101
How are things now? did you manage to find any counselling? waiting for that can take many months unless
you're able to go private.
I recently decided to invest in paying for a coach and I've found it helpful combined with the medication, but It's certainly
no magic cure.
I also have inattentive and was told I'm a classic case - (not overjoyed by that but there we are!)
I'd like to know how things are going for you now x
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