Post by solo on Sept 26, 2016 1:00:49 GMT
I feel a slight relief to have found this so late at night, hoping I might find some sleep after writing this.
5 years ago I realised that my husband found many things more difficult than most, he worked really hard at his job but found he still was behind (like running for days and then finding you never made it past the end of your street), he also lost interest in things quite quickly and put himself down a lot. He would slip in and out of various moods in a matter of minutes and then feel guilty or generally rubbish because he just feels like he is rubbish. I asked him if the words ADHD have ever been mentioned when he was a kid and of course he hardly remembered. His parents said that he was a sweet little boy with no problems whatsoever!!! Yet we still went to the GP and they found he was borderline ADHD but said it could just be the new marriage situation and new life seeing as to how he was "fine" when younger according to his parents. It took forever for us to get the diagnosis and although he was offered a trial medication I felt I was being harsh and perhaps it is the stress of the marriage and moving to a new city etc... So we both agreed to lay it to rest and go on without medication or other help.
Fast forward 3 years and two jobs (for hubby) later and we now have a beautiful very active little girl. The kind that would drag a chair (at 16 months) all the way next to where you sit at the desk, climb on it and instantly jump right off it and go do something entirely different for an other ten seconds or so. While her paternal grandparents were visiting her grandfather said how she reminds him of her dad, he said to me that if anyone says she has ADHD and needs medication I should not listen to them. I asked him what made him think this will be the case and he said my husband was labeled as a child. It felt like I was falling down the rabbit hole, we wasted three years and a chance at getting the right help.
We are now starting again from scratch my husband's depression is stronger but at least now I know it's not because of the stress of our marriage which is giving me a positive energy to help him through. He is on disciplinary at his job and the worst part is he can't really understand why. I am trying to speed up the NHS process but I know it will be at least 10 weeks before anything happens I was just googling private options but they are all 400+.
Nothing can describe the pain of seeing the person you love the most in so much despair and pain and not knowing what to do. It pains me that such a wonderful person has to go through so much pain, it kills me to not have any answers when he says "what if I end up always feeling like this?"... I really want to help him but all I have are hugs and comforting words.
Are there any places out there that are means tested rather than a fixed small fortune of fees? Anyway I was just trying to get it out in hope it will provide some peace. God bless you all, I have so much respect for every one of you battling these thoughts every day. I can't even pretend to know what it's like no matter how much I read or watch videos or case studies. I wish you all unconditional happiness.
5 years ago I realised that my husband found many things more difficult than most, he worked really hard at his job but found he still was behind (like running for days and then finding you never made it past the end of your street), he also lost interest in things quite quickly and put himself down a lot. He would slip in and out of various moods in a matter of minutes and then feel guilty or generally rubbish because he just feels like he is rubbish. I asked him if the words ADHD have ever been mentioned when he was a kid and of course he hardly remembered. His parents said that he was a sweet little boy with no problems whatsoever!!! Yet we still went to the GP and they found he was borderline ADHD but said it could just be the new marriage situation and new life seeing as to how he was "fine" when younger according to his parents. It took forever for us to get the diagnosis and although he was offered a trial medication I felt I was being harsh and perhaps it is the stress of the marriage and moving to a new city etc... So we both agreed to lay it to rest and go on without medication or other help.
Fast forward 3 years and two jobs (for hubby) later and we now have a beautiful very active little girl. The kind that would drag a chair (at 16 months) all the way next to where you sit at the desk, climb on it and instantly jump right off it and go do something entirely different for an other ten seconds or so. While her paternal grandparents were visiting her grandfather said how she reminds him of her dad, he said to me that if anyone says she has ADHD and needs medication I should not listen to them. I asked him what made him think this will be the case and he said my husband was labeled as a child. It felt like I was falling down the rabbit hole, we wasted three years and a chance at getting the right help.
We are now starting again from scratch my husband's depression is stronger but at least now I know it's not because of the stress of our marriage which is giving me a positive energy to help him through. He is on disciplinary at his job and the worst part is he can't really understand why. I am trying to speed up the NHS process but I know it will be at least 10 weeks before anything happens I was just googling private options but they are all 400+.
Nothing can describe the pain of seeing the person you love the most in so much despair and pain and not knowing what to do. It pains me that such a wonderful person has to go through so much pain, it kills me to not have any answers when he says "what if I end up always feeling like this?"... I really want to help him but all I have are hugs and comforting words.
Are there any places out there that are means tested rather than a fixed small fortune of fees? Anyway I was just trying to get it out in hope it will provide some peace. God bless you all, I have so much respect for every one of you battling these thoughts every day. I can't even pretend to know what it's like no matter how much I read or watch videos or case studies. I wish you all unconditional happiness.