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Post by newdawnfades on Oct 17, 2016 10:18:01 GMT
Hopefully I won't ramble on too long. It's been a while since I have been here due to frustration, work commitments, and generally feeling I am getting nowhere after my diagnosis.
I have was diagnosed late last year with ADD and it was suggested that medication would be the first line of treatment followed by counselling at Maudsley. I was prescribed Methylphenidate and then Concerta XL. I haven't taken the med's due to me worrying about the side-effects, in particular anxiety. I know...I should have given them a try but when you have had anxiety like I have in the past, nothing is worth the risk of that happening again. I just told the doctor that "I couldn't tolerate the side-effects - Anything not to have to take them.
9 months down the line I still haven't taken med's. No counselling as yet, as two appointments that I have been offered were at too short a notice due to work. I now have a follow up appointment in a few weeks.
In the last 9 months, I feel like i have just let go of the fact I was diagnosed. People around me tell me I still display typical ADD signs and symptoms. I also haven't been sleeping well, have been drinking a little more than usual and and have been very stressed.
So, basically, I am sounding off as maybe someone can relate to the above or maybe offer some advice/tips etc.
I feel in a way my diagnoses has been a waste of time as I have done nothing since. Anyone else also felt this way?
Cheers in advance for any replies.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Oct 17, 2016 11:56:13 GMT
Hi newdawnfades I think that we sometimes set our expectations too high. . . it's usually a long journey and possibly a fight to finally get a dx . .and then. . . well. .it's up to you. .are you able to come up with coping strategies that work for you? I've found that by accepting my dx and not beating myself up quite so much has made me generally happier with myself, although not much has changed. I know I spoke to you a while ago about being scared to take meds because of anxiety. . I recently started Elvanse and although I'm still very distracted and unfocused I noticed that I'm not anxious. .and I know that marionk finds that mph helps with her anxiety. . I would love to have the Maudsley counselling, it sounds good. . I would have been doing it if I hadn't moved out of London so soon after dx . .and it might be good for you, particularly as you're obviously not doing too well on your own. Good to hear from you.
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Post by newdawnfades on Oct 17, 2016 13:23:29 GMT
Hi newdawnfades I think that we sometimes set our expectations too high. . . it's usually a long journey and possibly a fight to finally get a dx . .and then. . . well. .it's up to you. .are you able to come up with coping strategies that work for you? I've found that by accepting my dx and not beating myself up quite so much has made me generally happier with myself, although not much has changed. I know I spoke to you a while ago about being scared to take meds because of anxiety. . I recently started Elvanse and although I'm still very distracted and unfocused I noticed that I'm not anxious. .and I know that marionk finds that mph helps with her anxiety. . I would love to have the Maudsley counselling, it sounds good. . I would have been doing it if I hadn't moved out of London so soon after dx . .and it might be good for you, particularly as you're obviously not doing too well on your own. Good to hear from you. Hi vagueandrandom, great to hear from you. Hope you are well. After to what you have said I think I will give the counselling a good go. It seems a shame to waste such a good opportunity. The only time I seem to do OK is when I go into my own little world - Books, films, music and all always with headphones in, which does make it difficult for other to communicate with me at times. I get so stressed out if I hear my neighbours' TV, it just gets me so on edge and makes me feel helpless and angry. I am still scared, as I said before, as I am not in a position to try and cope with bad anxiety. I would be worried I would lose my job and just not cope in general. Damn, it all feels a bit messy right now.
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Post by newdawnfades on Oct 17, 2016 14:42:48 GMT
hi newdawnfades I also would LOVE to have had the chance to try the counseling offered by The Maudsley. They mentioned it in my diagnosis letter and I thought "if only..." I had to pay to have my assessment there, after two previous misdiagnoses elsewhere. I was really impressed by The Maudsley and I'll bet that their counseling is excellent. Unfortunately, I live way up north, so it wouldn't be practical, even if my local NHS would agree to pay! I fully understand your fears about medication. I did a lot of reading about meds and was really worried about going on amphetamine-based treatment because there is a tiny risk of it inducing psychotic illness where there has been none previously (if the individual has a family history). I do have a relative with a serious psychotic illness, so I spoke to the consultant about it and he reassured me. Also, I was worried because of the possibility of it making me feel anxious, but I weighed the risk of that up against the negative impact the untreated ADHD has on my life and decided that I had to at least give it a try. My panic attacks used to be very severe - so bad that I couldn't leave the house at times when my kids were small. It was a big struggle for several years, but I eventually found that hypnotherapy worked very well to help me control the anxiety (where nothing else had - and I tried almost everything). I still use self-hypnosis when I remember to, but it is most effective if you practise it regularly. A lot of people report that the anxiety gets better as they get older. That was certainly true in my case. The consultant at The Maudsley recommended that I start on Concerta XL. I haven't started yet, as my GP needs to agree to shared-care. I always feel a little bit worried about taking ANY pills, but I trust the consultant and know that I can ask to change to something else if the Concerta doesn't agree with me. The thing is, you might actually have some very significant improvement if you try the meds. If you don't try, you'll never know. Of course, it has to be your decision, but I'm going to give mine a try and hope for the best. If the Concerta isn't tolerated, I'll ask if he can prescribe an alternative. I'm hopeful that with the right medication, I may finally be able to cope better with the traits that currently cause me so many problems. Lots of people have reported a big improvement in their quality of life once they get the meds right. I want to try for that better life. Let us know how the counseling goes! Thanks GC. That is a really great reply and I am feeling encouragement from the replies I have had already. I have dealt with this most of my life, so I should be willing to try and not rush things I suppose
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Post by newdawnfades on Oct 18, 2016 8:25:38 GMT
Sitting here with the 5mg of Medikent in my pocket. Still scared to take one...
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Post by vagueandrandom on Oct 18, 2016 11:46:59 GMT
newdawnfades . . don't feel under any pressure to take the medikinet. . I'm of the same opinion as gc7 . .you'll never know if they'll help you, if you don't try. . 5mg IR mph is a very small dose and you'll probably not even notice that you've taken it. . and if it does have any unpleasant effects, it wears off in around 4 hours. It's your choice. There's plenty of evidence that anxiety and depression can improve when the ADHD is treated, with medication and/or counselling, but there's still the belief with many MH professionals that they should try to reduce anxiety/depression before treating ADHD. It's like treating the symptoms without addressing the cause.
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Post by newdawnfades on Oct 18, 2016 12:09:00 GMT
newdawnfades . . don't feel under any pressure to take the medikinet. . I'm of the same opinion as gc7 . .you'll never know if they'll help you, if you don't try. . 5mg IR mph is a very small dose and you'll probably not even notice that you've taken it. . and if it does have any unpleasant effects, it wears off in around 4 hours. It's your choice. There's plenty of evidence that anxiety and depression can improve when the ADHD is treated, with medication and/or counselling, but there's still the belief with many MH professionals that they should try to reduce anxiety/depression before treating ADHD. It's like treating the symptoms without addressing the cause. Cheers Vague, that does make sense. Much appreciated.
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Post by smogz101 on Oct 18, 2016 22:01:25 GMT
I can completely understand this as I also was very nervous to take meds to begin with, but can honestly say its the best decision I've ever made and i didn't do it lightheartedly. Im also on medikinet and started off on 5mg 2x a day. You won't know until you try but 5mg is such a small dose and they are out of your system within 4 hours if worst comes to the worst. I worked up to 60mg and I'm so much calmer with them than without. You might find they actually help your anxiety! I have a diary thread on here if it will help
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Post by marionk on Oct 19, 2016 9:33:03 GMT
Sitting here with the 5mg of Medikent in my pocket. Still scared to take one... Do you want me to come around there and sit on you . . . ? I was really scared, too, especially of getting addicted, but the first dose I took (10mg) did bleep all, neither good nor bad, so took another 10mg in the afternoon, still nothing. Next day I took 20 mg in one go, and I got a bit of a buzz, and that was worrying because I associate that with getting addicted, but when I forget or stop taking it for whatever reason, the worst that happens is that I gradually go back to normal. I seriously think that it's only those that don't need it or continually take more and more to get a buzz that get addicted, and we DO need it. Stop using your fear to boost your dopamine and take the pesky thing, and then take another this afternoon! eta actually I never heard of anyone getting addicted to mph, only dex.
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Post by newdawnfades on Oct 19, 2016 12:46:42 GMT
Sitting here with the 5mg of Medikent in my pocket. Still scared to take one... Do you want me to come around there and sit on you . . . ? I was really scared, too, especially of getting addicted, but the first dose I took (10mg) did bleep all, neither good nor bad, so took another 10mg in the afternoon, still nothing. Next day I took 20 mg in one go, and I got a bit of a buzz, and that was worrying because I associate that with getting addicted, but when I forget or stop taking it for whatever reason, the worst that happens is that I gradually go back to normal. I seriously think that it's only those that don't need it or continually take more and more to get a buzz that get addicted, and we DO need it. Stop using your fear to boost your dopamine and take the pesky thing, and then take another this afternoon! eta actually I never heard of anyone getting addicted to mph, only dex. Haha. Sitting on me may work. What you say does make sense, I read so many horror stories online, though and that dissuades me from taking them. It seems that online people state that they have become tolerant and dependent MPH. Is that the med' you take and what effects do you notice in terms of them working? I also worry about the "crash" that people talk about but that seems to b eworse on slow release or I could be wrong. I also took speed once when younger and I had the worst experience ever on it it sent me off on a path of anxiety that I ddid not stray from for a long time. Arghhh, still scared and confused about this medication.
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Post by newdawnfades on Oct 19, 2016 12:53:55 GMT
Just read this online as well "Ritalin is a Schedule II Substance (along with opium, cocaine and amphetamines), which means Ritalin has a “high potential for abuse” that “may lead to severe psychological or physical dependence.”
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Post by smogz101 on Oct 19, 2016 13:18:49 GMT
It's natural to be worried about the side effects, I didn't try meds straight away With regards to the dependency, I don't feel addicted to them or anything like that, I sometimes have a day off at the weekend as I'm trying to put some weight back on. But I think when I found my right dose (60mg), my eyes were opened to how much easier everything was... so in that sense I prefer how I am on the medication and it would be hard to go back to being med free now that I've experienced that. If you can manage with the counselling etc then that's great, not everyone takes meds and some people find that making changes to diet, exercise, strict routine etc can really help too! But if you are struggling, and think that meds would help then i'd just bite the bullet and take the tablet, take it after a meal and avoid caffeine. The more you worry and go over things in your head, the more anxious you will get.. and I did that, spent ages reading about side effects etc but in reality, I was absolutely fine
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Post by newdawnfades on Oct 19, 2016 13:42:57 GMT
It's natural to be worried about the side effects, I didn't try meds straight away With regards to the dependency, I don't feel addicted to them or anything like that, I sometimes have a day off at the weekend as I'm trying to put some weight back on. But I think when I found my right dose (60mg), my eyes were opened to how much easier everything was... so in that sense I prefer how I am on the medication and it would be hard to go back to being med free now that I've experienced that. If you can manage with the counselling etc then that's great, not everyone takes meds and some people find that making changes to diet, exercise, strict routine etc can really help too! But if you are struggling, and think that meds would help then i'd just bite the bullet and take the tablet, take it after a meal and avoid caffeine. The more you worry and go over things in your head, the more anxious you will get.. and I did that, spent ages reading about side effects etc but in reality, I was absolutely fine Thanks Smogz, I actually smiled whilst reading your reply. Very reassuring. I am just a naturally anxious and worrisome person. I worry about addiction, dependency and anxiety the most. God, I feel like a kid with how much the pills scare me haha.
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Post by smogz101 on Oct 19, 2016 13:48:30 GMT
No worries I know, although i don't get anxious, Im a bit of an over thinker so can see where your coming from
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Post by vagueandrandom on Oct 19, 2016 14:07:25 GMT
Ooooh . . I forgot about fear/anxiety boosting your dopamine marionk. I was only reading about it yesterday. . . newdawnfades I think that info was American. . Ritalin/mph and Dex/lisdex are Class B controlled drugs under the Misuse of Drugs Act 1971. The same as amphetamine, codeine and cannabis. Cocaine, heroin and injectable opiates are all Class A. Classification is pretty arbitrary based on historical assumptions/scare stories/similarities of medically beneficial drugs to illegal street drugs (they're only illegal due to this legislation). . ie. morphine is Class A. It can legally be used by doctors for pain relief, but is illegal to use if not prescribed. There is potential for misuse of Ritalin, but I don't think anyone with ADHD, who was prescribed it would want to as it doesn't have the same effect on our brains as on NT brains. As far as I'm aware it's not addictive. I have heard that misuse is more likely with dex. Anyway, a big positive is that it starts working quickly and wears off quickly, so if you don't like it, you don't have to continue, unlike most antidepressants, which have to build up in your system over a few weeks before you get any benefit and can have terrible discontinuation (withdrawal) symptoms. However, it may take a couple of days for your brain to get used to not having to constantly search for stimulation, which can make you a bit spaced out, or have headaches. Personally, I didn't get much benefit from mph, but gave it a go. . I'm having more of a positive experience with elvanse.
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Post by marionk on Oct 19, 2016 22:28:54 GMT
I take mph, aka Ritalin, Medikinet. I take the instant release kind, and am fine with that as it doesn't give me any highs or lows. I did have some very minor ups and downs occasionally in the first few weeks, but nothing major, and nothing remotely as bad as I have had on various things I've been prescribed for depression etc.. For a while, whether I ate anything and what I ate when I took it did have some effect on how it affected my digestive system, but it doesn't matter any more, and I've taken 40mg on an empty stomach more than once, and without so much as a hiccup. As vagueandrandom says, the effects are not long lasting. Just to be sure I wasn't getting addicted, I deliberately went without any at all for a day or two before going back up and on to a higher dose. I too felt that it had been a horrible waste of money for a while, as I haven't found anything helps my scatterbrainedness and generally lousy memory etc., but actually when I sum up what the meds do do for me, it's been worth every penny. I can lose weight with a little effort, I'm not freaked out over little (or even some fairly big) things going wrong, I'm sleeping much much better, and not having to fight off daytime sleepiness as much as before, and while I'm not more capable at the really important, must not get wrong type stuff, I am getting more of the trivial stuff done, and generally feel much better. hth
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Post by newdawnfades on Oct 20, 2016 8:19:53 GMT
I have had some good news.
I sopke to my manager and told him I have been given some strong med's for a medical condition that may effect my day.
He has agreed a company laptop and time to adjust to med's.
This has made me feel a lot better about things.
I just need to take one of the bloody things now.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Oct 20, 2016 9:42:30 GMT
That's great news One more source of stress removed!
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Post by smogz101 on Oct 20, 2016 10:33:43 GMT
Great news! Word of advice, take it and then get on with things at home - don't clock watch, as tempting as it might be this will just make you more anxious.. Let us know how you get on! H
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Post by newdawnfades on Oct 20, 2016 11:44:54 GMT
I am contemplating taking one at work. Arghhhh!
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Post by newdawnfades on Oct 20, 2016 12:48:38 GMT
First 5mgs taken 1 minute ago. Here goes...
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Post by vagueandrandom on Oct 20, 2016 21:59:51 GMT
So . . .it's been a while. . you're still posting, so you haven't died . .
anything? Nothing?
How do do you feel about it now?
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Post by newdawnfades on Oct 21, 2016 8:27:08 GMT
So . . .it's been a while. . you're still posting, so you haven't died . . anything? Nothing? How do do you feel about it now? Vague, I think I am still alive hahah. Right, didn't actually feel that much at work yesterday. I felt a little lively when I got home last night, bear in mind I have only been prescribed 5mg 1 x a day. Anyway, where were we? Well, I slept OK until about 3.30am and then I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep but this isn't unusual for me. I had a slight tinge of a headache. I also had a couple of beers when I got home from work which I am not sure affected the onde dose I took. I am working from home today and took a tablet as soon as I got up. On the package label it says to take two tabs on the second week but I am thinking of doing that today as it is only 10 mgs.What do you think? Anyway, I to say that it helps working from home today as I feel a lot more comfortable here.
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Post by marionk on Oct 21, 2016 10:07:19 GMT
Yay! Congrats! The slight headache, (if it's due to the tablets at all, and not the anxiety) is probably from a slight rise in bp. I remember a slight increase in my tinnitus in the early days, which was probably from the same, but it was so low as not to make any noticeable difference when the doc took my bp. heh, even if you do have a noticeable increase in bp, it might be from the anxiety and not the tablets anyway! It does sound like you won't have any trouble on it, but don't expect miracles. The benefits are pretty subtle. For me the most noticeable lasting effect is the reduction in anxiety. eta: I forgot about the liveliness, that may be from the tablets, if it was very soon after taking it, but is just as likely to be from adrenaline from finally managing to take it, and worrying about the effect!
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Post by newdawnfades on Oct 21, 2016 10:14:04 GMT
Thanks Marion. I feel a little edgy but work is busy (despite being on here too, haha). It may be that. My mouth has been quite dry and I am urinating (sorry) more than usual. That is all else that I have noticed. I also managed to get out of bed and not work there for the day Oh, and some sexual side effects have been noticed.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Oct 21, 2016 11:22:17 GMT
Get you mister! How many months have you been too scared to take meds? and now you want to take more! Headaches are common when you first start and when you increase dose, but usually settle down. Stick to the prescribed dose for at least a few days to give your body and brain time to work out what's going on and adjust. Try not to think too much about whether or not it's working, just get on with your work. Your Dr was obviously very aware of your anxiety and has been very cautious with prescribing. IR mph is normally prescribed to be taken 2 or 3 times a day. The first tablet has probably just about worn off . . .if you're keen to take more, it would be more sensible to take another 5mg to extend the length of effect, rather than go straight to to 10mg. If it's not too personal. .sexual effects. . good or bad?
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Post by newdawnfades on Oct 21, 2016 12:08:53 GMT
Get you mister! How many months have you been too scared to take meds? and now you want to take more! Headaches are common when you first start and when you increase dose, but usually settle down. Stick to the prescribed dose for at least a few days to give your body and brain time to work out what's going on and adjust. Try not to think too much about whether or not it's working, just get on with your work. Your Dr was obviously very aware of your anxiety and has been very cautious with prescribing. IR mph is normally prescribed to be taken 2 or 3 times a day. The first tablet has probably just about worn off . . .if you're keen to take more, it would be more sensible to take another 5mg to extend the length of effect, rather than go straight to to 10mg. If it's not too personal. .sexual effects. . Thanks again.good or bad? Thanks again. I have been putting the pills off for about ten months. I know, it's bad but was so worried but will now see how I go slowly.
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Post by marionk on Oct 21, 2016 12:28:00 GMT
I'm all for you taking 10mg a day, but as doc only said 5mg, it might be best to tell him (and get his official ok) first.
Just in case he doesn't like people doing things on their own batt.
My doc gave me free rein to start at 10 mg and go up to 40mg a day in two doses, provided I let him know immediately if I had any kind of adverse reaction.
(I'm pretty sure he was concerned I might have a psychotic episode, but if anything, it's made me more grounded, not less.)
Which reminds me I forgot to ask why you've quoted Kafka in your sig? There was a time when I really understood Kafka . . .
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Post by newdawnfades on Oct 21, 2016 12:35:46 GMT
Hey Marion, that all makes sense. Many thanks again and I will take things slowly.
Oh yes, Kafka. Been a fan of his writings for years along with other many great authors. Good spot that by you, so what literature do you read?
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Post by smogz101 on Oct 21, 2016 19:26:35 GMT
Brilliant! I had same side effects with the dry mouth... just keep hydrated - I have a bottle of water on me all the time I wouldn't take 10 in one go just yet, but defo worth ringing to ask about taking another 5mg after 4 hours... really you should be taking 3 or 4 doses a day on I/R! Glad it's going well !
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