I see me in my Son and is scares me. Jan 11, 2017 10:23:33 GMT
Post by pittman50 on Jan 11, 2017 10:23:33 GMT
I am here as within the last week I have stumbled across ADHD in adults and it has rocked me to my core. It started as me and my wife were talking about our 6 year old son and his inability to sit still. She was saying she thinks he is on the spectrum somewhere as his behavior at times is in stark contrast to others his age. I just told her that I was exactly the same at his age and he is just like me however she is adamant that compared to his friends and other children at school he is markedly different in his behavior to the point where it is concerning. We discussed ADHD and looked it up and he has all the classic symptoms yet he is very clever and is top of his class in reading, maths and excels at working things out and the teachers haven’t raised any major concerns but they have said that he can be disruptive at times and he can drift off when he should be concentrating on something. He cannot sit still and will constantly wave his hands around in a flappy manner whilst blurting out odd noises. He will repeat the same noise over and over at times and rather than express how he feels in words he can be very silly. … I was exactly the same and this is the thing that is eating away at me.
My son’s needs come before mine and both the Wife and I are keeping a close eye on things but for me I am finding it particularly distressing. I was the same and back then in the 1980’s I got branded as lazy, disruptive, immature and someone who would never reach their own potential. I still carry that around with me today and I am constantly in a state of anguish about my failure to work as hard as I want to, achieve my goals and conflicting apathy and drive. I had come to the conclusion that I was just a bit of a loser who would plod through life yet get by but this realization that I might actually have something that can be treated has hit me hard.
Does anyone else here constantly feel like they an inability to get to the end of something or when reading a book they are thinking of something else without even realizing it? Is this normal for most people or is it something that is a classic symptom of ADHD in adults? The main thing for me is the constant feeling of failure or feeling like a fraud. In many ways I have been successful however recently I have been demoted at work from a senior post to a more junior one as I wasn’t performing to the level required. I tried and tried and am passionate about what I do however no matter how hard I tried, I could not apply the consistency required to get the job done. This has been an constant problem for me for years on all types of things however I just thought it was me being inattentive and lazy even though I really care and do really try. It affects me massively as I want so much to do well but I keep letting myself down. I am bright, I know I am and I constantly shock people with my ability to understand complex issues and this has probably seen me through to this point but I feel as if I have reached a point in my career where I cannot go any further even though people around me who are not as bright move on up and this just further adds to the feeling of failure.
I haven’t spoken to a single person about this, not even the wife and it is something I have carried around with me and hidden just in case it affirmed peoples suspicions of me. I walk around telling myself that I am lazy because this is what I was told growing up and it is killing me. My poor son might have to go through what I have been through and I want to help him avoid it but what do I do? I am sure the support services for Kids are brilliant and nowadays it is quite straight forward to diagnose and treat which is a massive relief for me. Just knowing that he will probably avoid the majority of the pain I have been through fills me with hope and the fact he is bright and wants to learn is a joy to witness. I don’t want to sound selfish though by talking about me but deep down I know I need help and as the bread winner in the family, I need it quickly.
Any help would be greatly appreciated as even though I am certain I am close to finding what has troubled me for the last 35 years I am scared about being told that I am just being silly and that there is nothing wrong with me.
If any of this sounds familiar to you and you have been through something similar, please get in touch.