Post by swlondonmum on Mar 21, 2017 10:55:49 GMT
Hi - I have just found this website and am jumping right in (before I forget!)...
I am a 45-yr old woman and started to notice symptoms a few years ago following a big change in circumstances (separation, single mum, new job) - I just found I was really struggling to concentrate on my job - thankfully due to a career change I was in a job I found pretty easy so I didn't have any problems doing my job well enough (though it took me a year or two to feel like I was doing ok , after a few reviews etc). I am almost never fully concentrating on day to day life - I can get into something for a good few hours but with most things I am always thinking about something else - either what is coming next or what has already happened in the past. My mind feels like it is constantly going through random thoughts that just seem to go off in tangents or pop in to my head, triggered by random objects etc.
Since that time I have become more aware of my symptoms, and the reasons why I am so much more aware of them now. I feel like I have always had symptoms but a few major life events, birth of a child, self employment, plus those mentioned above - separation, single mum, new job - have really made these symptoms show themselves (plus the world has got a bit more overwhelming with more choice/technology etc). Somehow I stumbled across adhd info online and I started to recognise myself in a lot of the descriptions, checklists etc. And some of the less obvious 'symptoms' also seem to match - for example I have always been aware of having very little general memory of the past - I was always a bit worried about the reasons for this but one option is that it is because I am never actually paying attention to anything so I guess it makes it harder to remember (but I do have strong memories of very specific things I think when strong emotions are involved). And I have suffered from anxiety for a long time - I think this is because my brain is like a washing machine of thoughts rolling round so I am constantly worried about forgetting something or whether a future event will ok (eg a journey or a meeting). I've always hated making phone calls as everything goes out of my head but I had no idea why I didn't like making them. I have changed jobs a lot (often because I feel I am no good at what I do even though there is no factual evidence of this) and have mostly had pretty rubbish relationships. I don't think people realise what is going on inside as I'm good at controlling my behaviour but it requires a huge effort and I need regular space to just zone out and not have to think/try!
I noticed that I have become a bit more nervous about socialising even with people I have known for a long time - I feel like I find it difficult to tell a story or anecdote. I am much better at expressing myself in writing (not necessarily this post, which is a bit of a brain dump!) where I have time to collect my thoughts and make sure I have included all the right info in the right order. I have started noticing similar symptoms in my son (age 9) - he reads a lot and also skim reads/reads fast and ploughs through lots of books (as I did as a child) - I always thought reading was a 'good' thing (and of course in general it is) but now I realise that he and I both read to block the constant flow of thoughts in our heads (in the same way that I also trawl trashy websites (daily mail etc) and social media - again it keeps the thoughts out of my mind but isnt too taxing (unlike reading a more serious book or article online). My son also finds it hard not to speak when he thinks of something - and yesterday he told me how it was just him and he didn't think his other friends had this problem except for one other boy at the school - I was surprised at how perceptive this sounded when he explained it! I feel like it is important to try and get our symptoms checked as at least if he does have adhd, there is a good opportunity to manage this throughout his education and minimise any negative impact. And if he doesnt have adhd then at least the managment strategies I have seen will be useful to help him remember things etc. Same for me but of course a bit later in life - there's nothing I can do about the past but it will help me with the future and also to understand the past
So I am not sure about the next steps. I am seeing a counsellor (about some of the problems I have had more recently which may partly relate to these adhd-like symptoms (the knock on effect of the separation and various other things have led me to feel pretty unhappy and not positive about my future) ) and I raised this with her - she is not trained in it but has advised looking into diagnosis/support. It felt like a relief to tell my counsellor and writing on here is also a positive step but I dont want to go straight to my GP (as I feel like I need to be a bit more sure before raising it with them)...
Any suggestions/thoughts/similar stories would be great - I hope to use this site now that I have found it but also have a fear that I will forget to use it at some point and come back in about a year, thinking why didn't I use that site more! But I am really keen to try and look into this both for myself and for my son
Thanks in advance :-)
I am a 45-yr old woman and started to notice symptoms a few years ago following a big change in circumstances (separation, single mum, new job) - I just found I was really struggling to concentrate on my job - thankfully due to a career change I was in a job I found pretty easy so I didn't have any problems doing my job well enough (though it took me a year or two to feel like I was doing ok , after a few reviews etc). I am almost never fully concentrating on day to day life - I can get into something for a good few hours but with most things I am always thinking about something else - either what is coming next or what has already happened in the past. My mind feels like it is constantly going through random thoughts that just seem to go off in tangents or pop in to my head, triggered by random objects etc.
Since that time I have become more aware of my symptoms, and the reasons why I am so much more aware of them now. I feel like I have always had symptoms but a few major life events, birth of a child, self employment, plus those mentioned above - separation, single mum, new job - have really made these symptoms show themselves (plus the world has got a bit more overwhelming with more choice/technology etc). Somehow I stumbled across adhd info online and I started to recognise myself in a lot of the descriptions, checklists etc. And some of the less obvious 'symptoms' also seem to match - for example I have always been aware of having very little general memory of the past - I was always a bit worried about the reasons for this but one option is that it is because I am never actually paying attention to anything so I guess it makes it harder to remember (but I do have strong memories of very specific things I think when strong emotions are involved). And I have suffered from anxiety for a long time - I think this is because my brain is like a washing machine of thoughts rolling round so I am constantly worried about forgetting something or whether a future event will ok (eg a journey or a meeting). I've always hated making phone calls as everything goes out of my head but I had no idea why I didn't like making them. I have changed jobs a lot (often because I feel I am no good at what I do even though there is no factual evidence of this) and have mostly had pretty rubbish relationships. I don't think people realise what is going on inside as I'm good at controlling my behaviour but it requires a huge effort and I need regular space to just zone out and not have to think/try!
I noticed that I have become a bit more nervous about socialising even with people I have known for a long time - I feel like I find it difficult to tell a story or anecdote. I am much better at expressing myself in writing (not necessarily this post, which is a bit of a brain dump!) where I have time to collect my thoughts and make sure I have included all the right info in the right order. I have started noticing similar symptoms in my son (age 9) - he reads a lot and also skim reads/reads fast and ploughs through lots of books (as I did as a child) - I always thought reading was a 'good' thing (and of course in general it is) but now I realise that he and I both read to block the constant flow of thoughts in our heads (in the same way that I also trawl trashy websites (daily mail etc) and social media - again it keeps the thoughts out of my mind but isnt too taxing (unlike reading a more serious book or article online). My son also finds it hard not to speak when he thinks of something - and yesterday he told me how it was just him and he didn't think his other friends had this problem except for one other boy at the school - I was surprised at how perceptive this sounded when he explained it! I feel like it is important to try and get our symptoms checked as at least if he does have adhd, there is a good opportunity to manage this throughout his education and minimise any negative impact. And if he doesnt have adhd then at least the managment strategies I have seen will be useful to help him remember things etc. Same for me but of course a bit later in life - there's nothing I can do about the past but it will help me with the future and also to understand the past
So I am not sure about the next steps. I am seeing a counsellor (about some of the problems I have had more recently which may partly relate to these adhd-like symptoms (the knock on effect of the separation and various other things have led me to feel pretty unhappy and not positive about my future) ) and I raised this with her - she is not trained in it but has advised looking into diagnosis/support. It felt like a relief to tell my counsellor and writing on here is also a positive step but I dont want to go straight to my GP (as I feel like I need to be a bit more sure before raising it with them)...
Any suggestions/thoughts/similar stories would be great - I hope to use this site now that I have found it but also have a fear that I will forget to use it at some point and come back in about a year, thinking why didn't I use that site more! But I am really keen to try and look into this both for myself and for my son
Thanks in advance :-)