bee
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Post by bee on Jul 18, 2017 21:19:01 GMT
Hello, I'm in my 30's, mum of two small boys, one of who had Sensory processing disorder. The more I've read about this condition, the more bits of symptoms ive seen in myself, either now or when I was a child. Only just thought to do the WHO guide test and it's come back fairly strongly. I'm not going to seek an official diagnosis; I'm functioning and I've spent enough time at my GPs office getting help for my boy.
It makes me happy that I'm always coming up with new things, solutions, projects; growing various stuff, breeding chickens, etc,. I love research and working/thinking outside of the box, so if I can tailor my work to short research projects and reports then I'm good at it (providing I WRITE UP AS I DO THE WORK! in capitals as its essential, didnt do with my PhD and then spent a dreadful 18months trying to make sense of what I'd done.) But I can't ever finish things. I am so messy it makes me cry; I don't know what to do to be tidy/organised, I just can't do it. Struggle to properly plan and execute. Often fail to do things properly (because I've not followed the instructions/planned properly)
When stuff goes wrong I lose my rag, get cross, disillusioned, guilty. I walk away from my hobbies; leave my tomato plants to die and sell the chickens. Get bit depressed, be by myself, till I find new interest to obsess over.
I would love love to find a way to be tidy, but look forward to reading more on here.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2017 1:20:29 GMT
Why is this thread visible on the mobile but not on the PC?? Please untick whatever daft moderation strategy is in effect
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2017 1:28:23 GMT
bee... hi Here's one of my favourite quotes from Peter Drucker for these situations: We will always be shit at some stuff. Don't worry about it. Plug the gap with someone who is good at that stuff. Like a butler or a PA or a cook or a cleaner. Some stuff, we are just truly amazing at. Concentrate *only* on this stuff
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Post by easilydistracted on Jul 20, 2017 17:20:19 GMT
Hello, I'm in my 30's, mum of two small boys, one of who had Sensory processing disorder. The more I've read about this condition, the more bits of symptoms ive seen in myself, either now or when I was a child. Only just thought to do the WHO guide test and it's come back fairly strongly. I'm not going to seek an official diagnosis; I'm functioning and I've spent enough time at my GPs office getting help for my boy. It makes me happy that I'm always coming up with new things, solutions, projects; growing various stuff, breeding chickens, etc,. I love research and working/thinking outside of the box, so if I can tailor my work to short research projects and reports then I'm good at it (providing I WRITE UP AS I DO THE WORK! in capitals as its essential, didnt do with my PhD and then spent a dreadful 18months trying to make sense of what I'd done.) But I can't ever finish things. I am so messy it makes me cry; I don't know what to do to be tidy/organised, I just can't do it. Struggle to properly plan and execute. Often fail to do things properly (because I've not followed the instructions/planned properly) When stuff goes wrong I lose my rag, get cross, disillusioned, guilty. I walk away from my hobbies; leave my tomato plants to die and sell the chickens. Get bit depressed, be by myself, till I find new interest to obsess over. I would love love to find a way to be tidy, but look forward to reading more on here. Hi bee, Your post is stuck waiting for moderation - which seems to be extra slow at the mo! Quoting you to shortcut the wait Good luck @boost - maybe cos it's that or no moderation at all!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2017 18:24:11 GMT
Good idea quoting it "Everything in moderation. Including moderation." All jokes aside, I have to wonder if those most in need are more likely to snatch a minute to dare post their problems on an internet forum full of strangers or use a computer? What about the regulars? I suppose the problem is how do you avoid the inevitable rejection sensitivity from seeing your post committed, seeing replies to other threads but nothing to your own cry for help? Meanwhile, regulars gleefully hit back on their browsers knowing from experience that by some stroke of magic, these new posts do show up... eventually. The setup, as is, could be unintentionally damaging to the most vulnerable / least technical?
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Post by easilydistracted on Jul 20, 2017 19:08:04 GMT
At the risk of derailing bee's thread... I think you've hit the nail square on the head. My own and many other posters first posts have been during tortured times. The time when a response is most needed. To have that post sitting in some invisible pending tray is no help at all. That said... Prior to my joining this forum I believe they had moderators but for various reasons that didn't work out. What i can probably say without being far wrong is that giving control of the ban-hammer to people who, amongst other things, may be a tad guilty of act first think second may be at best entertaining... (That assumes a lack of granuality in forum privileges and that it's an all or nothing process. If post approval is a lower grade task than delete post/ban posters then surely that can be tasked out?) While some of the spam seen is the usual viagra stuff and strangely fitted kitchens ( a connection I'm happy to say I don't understand ) some of the spam - quack medical test which may mislead people during trying times, the illegal drug offers can only bring trouble on the forum if not stopped. Moderation of some sort is needed but how?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2017 21:01:49 GMT
Agreed, it's a bit of a catch 22? The most qualified person to moderate an ADHD forum? An ADHDer. The last person you want in charge of the ban hammer? An ADHDer. Another very real issue is, the second you adopt the mantle of 'moderator' you implicitly forfeit your right to personally receive support. "With great power comes great responsibility." We must now be pillars of the community. We must not have bad days. We must not swear. We must conduct ourselves only in the most proper of ways. That's a tall order, IMHO. Let's not kid ourselves. Even the most successful of us may continue to need support. We may not care 'how much dexamphetamine is on a private script' anymore but the sense of belonging you can achieve on a community forum can be significant for some. I am probably one of those people. What have the Googles and Amazons of the world done to solve the age old problem of forum spam? As ADHD starts to gain more visibility in general and more people find themselves at the front door, here, looking for help, should we be asking ourselves if there is a better way?
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bee
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Post by bee on Jul 24, 2017 8:50:37 GMT
Thank you for your replies. I've been thinking about this a LOT, and feeling vulnerable. I'm at my least settled, just flitting from one thing to the next, probably had over a dozen new interests/projects over the last couple of weeks. I feel exhausted and powerless, I never switch off. I've written this post a few times, but deleted it as I'm not ready to hear criticism, even if well meant and constructive. Think paid employment helps me to focus but I'm on maternity leave till next summer. I have no spare money to hire help unfortunately. I often think I should get rid of half of what I own, but I am a bit of a hoarder (how can you have too many torches? Old curtains will make great kids costumes or play tents and I have found myself rebuying books that I miss after previous clearouts.)
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Post by easilydistracted on Jul 25, 2017 18:52:30 GMT
... I'm at my least settled, just flitting from one thing to the next, probably had over a dozen new interests/projects over the last couple of weeks. I feel exhausted and powerless, I never switch off. I've written this post a few times, but deleted it as I'm not ready to hear criticism, even if well meant and constructive. This I can completely understand The world, or my part of it anyway, seems dreadfully out of kilter and I'm pinballing between projects/collections as well ... but I am a bit of a hoarder (how can you have too many torches? You can't! There are big Maglites, little keyring Maglights, the rechargable lamps that switch on when you take them off the wall for emergencies, There are the ones that double as lanterns for camping, ones with coloured lenses for walking the dog, the ones that clip on your glasses for reading. There are the ones with radios built in, then there are the ones with wind-up radios in them for emergencies, oh and on the subject of emergencies there are the ones with flashing amber lights. Oh yeah, then there's the bicycle lights, the old fashioned 2 D cell ones, the more modern 3 or 4 AA LED ones, the LED ones that have the strobe that's visible for miles, oh yeah and the ones that have the amber side lights built in. Ah yes, and the rechargable versions of a lot of them. Oh yeah, and candles... and matches... and lighters... Oh and a spark-stick and... Old curtains will make great kids costumes or play tents Folk either understand the "it might come in handy one day" thing or they don't. Those that do will require no explaination for any of it, no words are necessary. Those that don't? There will never be enough words to make them understand and I have found myself rebuying books that I miss after previous clearouts.) Someone "helped" me tidy once - some computer magazines (Dragon User) went into the skip and 6 years on I still mourn their loss. On less balanced days I harbour a grudge... I still have an eye out to replace them. All in all, you seem perfectly normal to me
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Post by Bee again on Jul 27, 2017 19:35:54 GMT
All in all, you seem perfectly normal to me Thank you!!
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bee
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Post by bee on Oct 17, 2017 15:57:25 GMT
I took your advice and got a cleaner twice a week. Life is better and all the laundry in my house is done - (mother of two boys on a farm, this is a near miracle!!!) And baby is going to start at a childminder soon so that I can get back to my work projects. Our business has three R&D opportunities at the moment, I need to get stuck in as I can't bare to watch the opportunity (for me and for business) slide past and noone else has time or interest to do it.
I read somewhere that when you get stressed, or mind races, to focus on posture. Been doing this and it seems to be a good distractor which then allows me to take a mental break and then concentrate better on what I want to think about. (Hope that makes sense?)
I completed one project today; my diy cider from the apple tree tastes great! :-)
But then in the last few days I've started four new projects. But when I find an illustrated book of wild flowers that is 110 years old laying in a puddle next to a bin, I HAVE to pick it up, dry it out and think about getting the pictures framed.
The depression I have felt is far away just now :-))
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bee
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Post by bee on Nov 18, 2017 20:05:20 GMT
I'm down again. Everything is a grind and I never finish anything. I've committed to loads of things, stupidly, and I'm behind on delivery. Works not going well: not enough time or focus and baby cries when I leave him with childminder, so I feel like a monster. The house is still less of a mess than it used to be, but for £30 a week, so it should be! Sick of getting nowhere. Thought I'd 'do something I enjoy' but I'm not sure what I do enjoy, so tapped on iPad and felt guilty.
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bee
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Post by bee on Dec 7, 2017 18:27:46 GMT
Somewhere between sad and flat/exhausted. Wondered about quitting my job, but I'm too far in and there's no one to hand over to. procrastinated with planning so much and now I have two parties to put on this weekend that have just crept up on me, I've done nothing for them :-(
Started thinking about a new project this morning with left me with a bit of a happy glow!
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Post by danherts on Dec 14, 2017 22:32:54 GMT
This is precisely my problem. A revolving door of esoteric projects and a mood that fluctuates in line with my enthusiasm for them.
Once you have kids and other responsibilities and less time for schemes life becomes a real grind. Wish I had some solutions for ya...
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Post by Slangking0 on Jul 22, 2018 20:13:20 GMT
I have the same problem, I've turned 30 and have had countless job doing all types of things. i was diagnosed with ADHD in December. I actually stopped drinking alcohol and stopped hanging out with all my old friends which made me feel very isolated.
i was working as an apprentice painter and decorator but I quit, I hated the people I had to work for and decided to become self employed which i dont really like to be honest, so I'm effectively unemployed but I'm completely lost as to what to do next, It's depressing.
I have the safety net of living at home so if I do quit a job I'm not homeless, plus I have some inheritance money that I can fall back to tie me over so my situation could be a lot worse.
My next plan is to go into Education, to do art, get onto a degree, try accomplish something, the longest job i've had is a year. I do realise that a degree in Art will not help me career wise but it will give me a goal/purpose to my life.
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Post by Slangking0 on Jul 22, 2018 20:16:04 GMT
I have the same problem, I've turned 30 and have had countless job doing all types of things. i was diagnosed with ADHD in December. I actually stopped drinking alcohol and stopped hanging out with all my old friends which made me feel very isolated.
i was working as an apprentice painter and decorator but I quit, I hated the people I had to work for and decided to become self employed which i dont really like to be honest, so I'm effectively unemployed but I'm completely lost as to what to do next, It's depressing.
I have the safety net of living at home so if I do quit a job I'm not homeless, plus I have some inheritance money that I can fall back to tie me over so my situation could be a lot worse.
My next plan is to go into Education, to do art, get onto a degree, try accomplish something, the longest job i've had is a year. I do realise that a degree in Art will not help me career wise but it will give me a goal/purpose to my life.
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slangking
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Post by slangking on Jul 22, 2018 20:41:56 GMT
I'm in the same predicament, recently turned 30 and I'm unemployed/self employed after quitting a painting and decorating apprenticeship that I was doing for a year.
I've had countless jobs over the years, I've walked out of them all which leaves me quite unemployable. I get a new idea all the time, one moment I'm enrolled to do a music course, the next I'm learning to be a black cab driver. I was diagnosed with ADHD in December.
My next idea is to go back to education, doing Art, I'm worried i'll drop out. I'd like to get a degree in something to feel like I've accomplished something in life and hopefully that can contribute to me finding a decent job. I stopped drinking alcohol about a year and a half ago so I feel like I can do it this time.
I'm lucky as I have a safety net, my mum always let me stay at her house and I inherited a couple of grand so I can use that to tie me over. I'm still at a lost as to what to do with my life.
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Post by ADDZ on Jul 23, 2018 11:05:46 GMT
Ain’t Uni about 9k a year though? It’s a piss take
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Post by speedy1 on Jul 23, 2018 16:31:15 GMT
I've decided we don't need university u can learn everything u need from the Internet
I'm currently curing cancer using Google
I don't actually believe I can do it but I'm having fun trying
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Post by ADDZ on Jul 23, 2018 22:02:06 GMT
Yes can indeed learn most things on utube...google! I suppose it’s all about getting them certs...can buy them also! Hope you don’t have cancer by the way.
I know one thing, if my kids go uni...at 27K a pop...I want results ADHD or not.
On a lighter note, I miss Ali G so much, best thing ever! new shows kinda ok but....well, you know what I’m sayin init!
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Post by speedy1 on Jul 24, 2018 21:27:33 GMT
No fit & healthy thanks ADDZ just figured curing cancer would be the biggest pay load!
It's not going well I've got more questions now than when I started!
Maybe I'll leave it with the academics. My theory is 2 blatantly obvious I'm sure someone has investigated it
Don't know about Ali G it always makes me cringe watching it
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bee
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Post by bee on Aug 9, 2018 19:04:08 GMT
Not an Ali G fan I'm afraid. How did the cancer thing go?
I can't believe it's a year since i first started realising and looking into this. My life is slipping last me. Going to Dr to see if they can help with the binge eating. I was doing not bad for a few weeks over summer, but a bit down just now. Not as bad as the start of May though. I like that I can now recognise which part of the wave I'm on. Would like to improve/level off my mood.
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Post by speedy1 on Aug 11, 2018 9:07:38 GMT
Hi bee, I got bored of trying 2 cure the world 4 now! So what was bad about May? Binge eating!! I also binge eat although u wouldn't know it 2 look at me The trick is don't go food shopping when hungry u'll just buy ready 2 eat now food & eat it b4 it's unpacked! I eat when I'm bored it helps fill that casm of I need something but don't no what Just don't get bored & u'll be fine! 1 of my team mates is a homeopath he says adhders like 2 eat juicy fruits & food that's stimulating 2 the senses So eating is another way of seeking stimulation therefore dopamine
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