Post by eekoh on Sept 16, 2017 21:27:21 GMT
I realised in my early 20s that i have dyslexia. Not severely and although I make the typical spelling mistakes, I tend to notice at the time and so its never been too big a deal - the problem areas have always been to do with being forgetful and disorganised.
I'm 41 now and I'd always assumed those things were part of the dyslexia, but after having a horrendous experience at my previous job where all the dyslexic stuff I'd usually coped with just got totally out of hand, I started reading up on it a lot more to try and find things that might help my boss to understand and hopefully stop making things so difficult for me.
It had never occurred to me that I might have ADHD, but there it was on the dyslexia checklists - co-morbidity of the two conditions. And it was all so familar - the poor time management and difficulty prioritising, the constant lateness, losing things and just being generally disorganised. I'd always known i'd had trouble with these things, but then doesn't everyone? Thats what i've been told over and over for as long as I can remember - don't make excuses, you just need to be more organised! How hard can it be, after all everyone else manages...
But here it is:
All teenagers forget their homework occasionally.
But all teenagers don't forget their homework every single week, even though they dread getting a detention. Or miss a deadline for something as important as GCSE coursework because they were completely oblivious until the day everyone else turned up with theirs ready to hand in.
Everyone would rather do the interesting job than the boring one.
But everyone doesn't just not bother reading half the books assigned for GCSE English because they were too boring. And everyone doesn't regularly sit gazing out the window or moving things round on their desk or making endless cups of tea when they've got a pile of urgent things they should be working on - grown ups are generally more responsible about that sort of thing and just get on with it. And they don't regularly get to the end of the day and think "shit, i have to fill out my timesheet now and I'm pretty sure i've done absolutely nothing today". Then worry about whether anyone else notices the lack of productivity, but still somehow not manage to get any better at it.
Everyone forgets things sometimes.
But everyone doesn't keep leaving their house key in the outside of the front door when they've had to go back in for something they've forgotten. They don't own seven head torches because they couldn't find one until after they'd bought another. Everyone hasn't given up making packed lunches because inevitably the bread has been there much longer than you realised and is growing blue fur, and in the unlikely event that you actually had all the ingredients to make a decent sandwich it invariably gets left in the kitchen every single time anyway. Everyone doesn't get to a site visit for a job they know inside out and still about 50% of the time realise they've left some important piece of kit at the office. They don't get to their car or often as not half way down the road when its too late every damn morning and think "shit, I'm supposed to have that thing that I meant to pick up yesterday!".
Everyone fidgets a bit.
But everyone doesn't constantly twirl their hair, fiddle with their jewellery, jiggle their feet, tap their fingertips together or play with the buttons on their cardigan. They don't do it in meetings with clients or interviews and find themselves thinking "I really need to stop that". They haven't had to consciously think about the amount they fidget possibly being a problem and find socially acceptable / more professional looking fidgets that won't draw attention. They don't keep their partner awake and find that the solution is to move something else that isn't touching him because not moving just isn't an option.
Everyone hates satnavs.
But everyone doesn't need to see the picture on the gadget because by the time the voice has even finished speaking its direction they can't remember whether it said to turn left or right.
I could go on, but it would be a very long list.
The point is that everyone might do some of the ADHD things some of the time. But they don't do them all of the time. And they don't do them on the really important things, because... well they're important and why would anyone be so careless as to mess those up?! And they don't have to actively try not to do them. For most people, those things are a blip but with ADHD they're the norm. Welcome to my (rather disorganised) world!
I'm 41 now and I'd always assumed those things were part of the dyslexia, but after having a horrendous experience at my previous job where all the dyslexic stuff I'd usually coped with just got totally out of hand, I started reading up on it a lot more to try and find things that might help my boss to understand and hopefully stop making things so difficult for me.
It had never occurred to me that I might have ADHD, but there it was on the dyslexia checklists - co-morbidity of the two conditions. And it was all so familar - the poor time management and difficulty prioritising, the constant lateness, losing things and just being generally disorganised. I'd always known i'd had trouble with these things, but then doesn't everyone? Thats what i've been told over and over for as long as I can remember - don't make excuses, you just need to be more organised! How hard can it be, after all everyone else manages...
But here it is:
All teenagers forget their homework occasionally.
But all teenagers don't forget their homework every single week, even though they dread getting a detention. Or miss a deadline for something as important as GCSE coursework because they were completely oblivious until the day everyone else turned up with theirs ready to hand in.
Everyone would rather do the interesting job than the boring one.
But everyone doesn't just not bother reading half the books assigned for GCSE English because they were too boring. And everyone doesn't regularly sit gazing out the window or moving things round on their desk or making endless cups of tea when they've got a pile of urgent things they should be working on - grown ups are generally more responsible about that sort of thing and just get on with it. And they don't regularly get to the end of the day and think "shit, i have to fill out my timesheet now and I'm pretty sure i've done absolutely nothing today". Then worry about whether anyone else notices the lack of productivity, but still somehow not manage to get any better at it.
Everyone forgets things sometimes.
But everyone doesn't keep leaving their house key in the outside of the front door when they've had to go back in for something they've forgotten. They don't own seven head torches because they couldn't find one until after they'd bought another. Everyone hasn't given up making packed lunches because inevitably the bread has been there much longer than you realised and is growing blue fur, and in the unlikely event that you actually had all the ingredients to make a decent sandwich it invariably gets left in the kitchen every single time anyway. Everyone doesn't get to a site visit for a job they know inside out and still about 50% of the time realise they've left some important piece of kit at the office. They don't get to their car or often as not half way down the road when its too late every damn morning and think "shit, I'm supposed to have that thing that I meant to pick up yesterday!".
Everyone fidgets a bit.
But everyone doesn't constantly twirl their hair, fiddle with their jewellery, jiggle their feet, tap their fingertips together or play with the buttons on their cardigan. They don't do it in meetings with clients or interviews and find themselves thinking "I really need to stop that". They haven't had to consciously think about the amount they fidget possibly being a problem and find socially acceptable / more professional looking fidgets that won't draw attention. They don't keep their partner awake and find that the solution is to move something else that isn't touching him because not moving just isn't an option.
Everyone hates satnavs.
But everyone doesn't need to see the picture on the gadget because by the time the voice has even finished speaking its direction they can't remember whether it said to turn left or right.
I could go on, but it would be a very long list.
The point is that everyone might do some of the ADHD things some of the time. But they don't do them all of the time. And they don't do them on the really important things, because... well they're important and why would anyone be so careless as to mess those up?! And they don't have to actively try not to do them. For most people, those things are a blip but with ADHD they're the norm. Welcome to my (rather disorganised) world!