loopy
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Post by loopy on Dec 6, 2017 17:47:52 GMT
I’m hoping to get some pearls of wisdom I can go away and think about in the hope I can better help my son. He is really struggling at the moment and I’m struggling to understand what else I can do.
if he could clear his thoughts for long enough, what do you think he would like me to know? What would you like people to know about you?
thanks in advance x
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Post by vagueandrandom on Dec 7, 2017 2:26:57 GMT
Hi!
It's very difficult to offer pearls of wisdom when you don't ask what you want to know.
It's also hard to have any advice for your son as we're all individuals and he's not here to speak for himself.
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Post by jp on Dec 8, 2017 10:20:30 GMT
Sorry your son is struggling. And you! It IS hard,
I agree with VnR - tricky to know what to say except in the most general terms.
With or without and beyond ADHD there's still teenage stuff, human stuff, individual stuff...
Again, without knowing the struggles...
Maybe more carrot, maybe more stick? I rarely get much done unless I'm faced with some kind of gun: in-yer-face morality, life or death emergencies, the law, bankruptcy, divorce... Otherwise, sad but true, my inner child wins every time. That is to say, I respond well to the stick. I might shout and scream but it gets done sometimes rather than never.
Perhaps if you usually support him one way, find and try another?
Maybe stop trying? Relax and give him space to be (whatever it is) for a while. There's such a huge pressure from all sides to be typical, normal, adjusted. Give all that a break? Laugh at the madness of the world together! Sometimes its hard to be motivated to conform to the requirements of a clearly insane system.
I wish my folks had brought me out into nature more - the wilder the better. My ADHD disappears in an Ancient forest.
Do some research together on the potential positives - the various TED talks for example. I really like Jessica McCabe's YouTube channel 'How to ADHD'. I also really like the idea of 'Hunter Mind' and can imagine that might go down well with a young lad too.
Look after yourself. Have you got support? Are you getting enough exercise, fresh food etc etc? Things you do have control over.
Good luck
Hugs
EDIT: Just read you other posts - but I think I'll leave what I wrote as is :-) except to say I know little about Tourette's or ASD
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2017 1:52:17 GMT
Hi Loopy What exactly is he struggling with, do you know? Most issues can be characterised as chiefly one (or indeed all) of the following: 5. No creative outlet 4. No self-esteem 3. No friends 2. No security 1. Ill health (includes untreated ADHD) For a more detailed breakdown, see Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. It is said we must address the lowest numbered needs first. Start at 1, work up to 4, then aim for 5. Hope this helps
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Post by danherts on Dec 14, 2017 22:21:12 GMT
Nurture what he enjoys.
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jamieg
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Post by jamieg on Dec 14, 2017 23:54:56 GMT
Perception.
It's wrong to think that everyone perceives things the same way. Us neurodivergant lot can react to things so much differently compared to the neurotypical lot.
I struggle massively in an open plan office environment - some little things bother me so much more than everyone else.
Look up things like sensory overload relating to Adhd. I didn't realise how difficult some things were to deal with - I thought everyone had the same difficulties I did so just got on with it. I can do my job and get through the day, it just takes so much more effort than other people.
Hope that helps.
Jamie
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jamieg
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Post by jamieg on Dec 15, 2017 0:05:53 GMT
How old is he ?
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