kermit
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Post by kermit on Jul 12, 2020 17:38:29 GMT
Hi all, Up until very recently, I thought I knew what ADHD was. It's boys bouncing off the furniture and causing havoc, isn't it? I'd managed to make it to near enough 50 with that misconception anyway! I thought, therefore, that I'd add a little (well, OK, it'll probably be a lot!) background below, to see if anyone else has gone through similar, and would be willing to share their knowledge from further down the road? That was up until about a month ago though... I sat my teenage daughter down for a serious conversation about how just because of lockdown, it really wasn't acceptable to just be staying in bed, not engaging with her schoolwork, and generally refusing to engage with life. Yep, there you go... "Teenage Girl Syndrome", another misconception on my part! In fact, she told me she'd been looking online, and thought she had inattentiveness ADHD. She was certainly pretty persuasive and clearly knew what she was talking about, so I said I'd arrange a GP appointment, at which point she promptly burst into tears of relief, because she'd been worried that people might not believe her. Roll on a couple of days to the GP video-conference, and it turned out I wasn't the only one with the little boys bouncing off walls misconception, so I got to sit and watch my wonderful daughter educate a doctor on some of the lesser known symptoms of ADHD! Following this, she agreed to provide a referral to a psychiatrist, after having initially said that she didn't think it sounded at all like ADHD. One little silver lining to lockdown is that we've not been going out of course, so the pain of paying to go private was a little easier to bear, but with A levels next year, waiting for the NHS simply wasn't an option. A few days later, and we have the assessment. Even though my daughter could've done it alone, she wanted me to be with her for support. Ninety minutes later, it's my turn to burst into tears right there on the call when the psychiatrist confirmed her self-diagnosis as being spot on, as absolutely every single element of the conversation had applied to me at least as much as it had to my daughter. This is where it all got rather hard to take in, but I'd suddenly discovered that here's something I've always had (confirmed through my own assessment last week) without even really realising it was a thing. Reading about others with this condition struggling to hold down jobs and the like, I have to realise just how lucky I've been in life. I'm very intelligent (sorry, there's just no way to say that without sounding arrogant), which has allowed me to compensate for the condition I think, and be successful in my career on pure brainpower rather than through being able to be organised and methodical, but it's just so utterly exhausting at times! As such, my tears at the end of the assessment weren't self pity for myself, although it might've been nice to spare myself some of the stress of the past 30 years or so. It was sheer relief that for my daughter, at least, maybe we were going to be able to head this off at the pass and she will hopefully be able to get treatment that will spare her what I've been through and let her shine as brightly as I know she really can! So, there's the long-winded explanation of how I got to a diagnosis so late in life! Has anyone else been diagnosed at this stage? Have you been able to make much difference through treatment? Are there any things I should be aware of? Areas to try and push for in treatment and others to avoid? One of my concerns is that quite a few people have mentioned therapies such as CBT, and I can't help thinking that if I was able to sit down and pay sufficient attention to something like that, then I wouldn't actually need it in the first place? If I leave this all to me being me, I'm likely to spend several hours a day researching the hell out of this whilst my work suffers, so if anyone can help me shortcut the process a little to help me keep my focus elsewhere - I've got a bunch of really important work training this coming fortnight that I really, really want to take in - then I'd be ever grateful and more than happy to buy someone a drink - whether virtual or real when that's allowed - to say thanks!
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1jad1
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Post by 1jad1 on Aug 6, 2020 19:56:20 GMT
HI I'm in the same boat- same age too. Just started medication yesterday. I had to go private, no time to waste.
Not sure what you what to hear or know? Maybe put more about yourself?
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Post by Swede on Aug 8, 2020 8:59:47 GMT
Hi there, I read your message and felt obliged to reply as we seem to have many things in common. Here’s the short version of my story. I recently turned 48, from an outsiders perspective they would say I am a highly successful and very luck man. I’ve had an international career and have grown all the way to a global senior Vice President position, well paid and considered very smart and good at seeing through complexity. I’m good at sports, have a beautiful wife and 4 wonderful kids. What’s there to complain about ?
Well, I have felt different all my life and cruised through many things probably on raw intelligence. The “different”side of me however and the side effects of that has grown worse and worse over the years and had gone from “not unpacking my bag after a business travel for three weeks” all the way to abuse of alcohol, cocaine and periods where I have absolutely zero limits to what I do. At work I have been “down with a flu” for a few days, at home my wife’s concerns have grown more and more over the last few years and I have felt that the “destructive” elements of my life is starting to take over more and more. It’s like my brain cannot shut down and needs more and more stimulus to feel comfortable. I have self medicated these symptoms with more and more destructive behaviors that has given me a short term adrenaline kick. 3 weeks ago it came to an end when I was home alone and after 3 days of really really self destructive activities I had a panic attack and was convinced bad people had entered the house and was after me. I called my wife who called the police. Long story short, they took me to the emergency for one night and then I went straight to a psychiatric clinic where I have spent the last 3 weeks. It’s the best (and bravest) decision I’ve taken in my life. I have for the first time in my life met several experts, doctors and fantastic professionals that I felt understood, listened and did a full 360 diagnos. Full consensus from everyone is that I have full blown ADHD but with a high potential. The sad part is that I did this at age 48 rather than 18 as I have developed a lot of side effects and symptoms that I have learned to hide and manipulate my environment around me to not see very well. I have just been released from the clinic after 3 weeks and feels for the first time in my life that I’m supported by a plan (including medication, therapy and exercises) developed by people that really and truly has made me understand why and what has caused these behaviors I’ve struggled to cope with all my life. Instead of waiting for an inevitable complete life crash (divorce, loosing my job etc) I feel for the first time cautiously optimistic about the rest of my life. It’s too early to shout out success and have told myself and my family that we will evaluate in 3-4 months of the plan really works. If I would only have had the courage to do this 25-30 years ago !! Interesting side note when I first told my 18 year old who was diagnosed with ADHD at age 6; “Dad, why did you need to spend 3 weeks in a nuthouse because of something I could have told you many years ago if you would only have listened”
I would love to hear more about your story, the troubles and successes it might have caused you as well as understanding your plan going forward. All the best/ H
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swede
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Post by swede on Aug 8, 2020 9:10:40 GMT
Just decided to register as this seems like a great forum.
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onlymarfs
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Post by onlymarfs on Aug 10, 2020 21:31:23 GMT
Hi, I’m a 37 year old solicitor (lawyer to the non UK bods!) and have just been diagnosed with inattentive form ADHD. I suspected that I had this a few years ago when I read an article about another solicitor who got diagnosed later. Cue procrastination on this for a few years, went private because I’ve started to see the same distractible behaviours etc and don’t want to screw up my job...have come close a few times. It’s been incredibly stressful and I’m hoping the prescription will help me. Just waiting for it to arrive. Funny reading my old school reports about disorganisation, not revising properly, not handing in homework...like the other posts on here, I have skated by on brain power alone and have hidden the other symptoms. Feels amazing to finally have a label!
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busybee
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Post by busybee on Aug 12, 2020 18:04:52 GMT
Hello, I am new to the forum and in the process of getting a diagnosis. I discovered quite by accident whilst at university that I have Dyslexia (it was a shock as it hadn't been picked up at school). I am fairly ok with writing, reading but numbers....my nemesis. I think I also have ADHD and it has become apparent as my health has declined drastically and my brain (or brian) function has changed so much so, that I am finding admin etc very very difficult. There are other issues I have noticed but mainly it is my inability to deal with paperwork, deadlines, reading, interpreting what I am reading, organising....which is adding to my stress. I was referred by my GP earlier this year to be assessed for ADHD and PTSD, and was assessed for PTSD in March, and told that CBT could help but to leave the ADHD diagnosis for now. I have chased up my referral today, only to be told that I have been discharged back to the care of my GP (neither myself nor my GP knew of this) and so I am starting from square one. Where I live, funding for services relating to ADHD have been cut. I just want to establish what I am dealing with healthwise and I am now looking to undertake a private referral so that I know if I am going mad or not. But that might be yet another referral altogether. It is reassuring to see that others on the forum have had a diagnosis later in life.
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syncretin
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Posts: 4
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Post by syncretin on Aug 14, 2020 21:34:18 GMT
Hello
I've just registered today. I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety and depression a few years back after a breakdown, but happened across an article on adult ADHD recently and have scored highly on every online diagnosis test I've done since. I subscribed to the online ADDitude emails and each one I receive makes me more overwhelmed by how relatable its contents are. I've seen a number of doctors and therapists over the years and have had EMDR, MBCT, ACT and general talkie therapy and not once has it been suggested that I might have ADHD instead of depression, so I'm struggling to believe that I *do* have it, because surely those professionals would've spotted it? I asked my GP about it and he chuckled, saying 'no, that's very unlikely' (it was literally the first time I'd ever met the man - new surgery, new doctor).
Since the pandemic began, I've lost my career (I was a professional musician) and have luckily found a temporary office job, but I have isolated myself completely and ostracised my co-workers already (I don't understand their social interaction, and they clearly don't understand mine). I'm now looking into getting a private diagnosis, which I can ill afford, but unless I can get some sort of relief from this madness, then money will be the least of my worries!
It's hugely heartening and reassuring to hear of others of a similar age who've only recently been diagnosed. Presumably your symptoms were missed throughout your lives too? I'm concerned that I'll spend hundreds on an assessment, only to be told that no, it's not ADHD after all.
I've recently given up alcohol after it (again) got out of control (thanks to being home all the time, I was drinking a minimum of 2 bottles of wine a day). I'm starting to realise that alcohol was medicating me somewhat as I'm pulling on all of my therapeutic tools to reach any sense of normality every day.
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onlymarfs
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Post by onlymarfs on Aug 15, 2020 13:25:45 GMT
I had been wary about spending the money but if you think you have, then having it confirmed is a huge relief. Mine cost £500, which I still think is crazy but i love having my suspicions confirmed
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busybee
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Post by busybee on Aug 15, 2020 19:54:08 GMT
Thank you OnlyMarfs, I am planning to book an assessment next week.
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syncretin
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Post by syncretin on Aug 16, 2020 13:09:29 GMT
Thanks onlymarfs, it's reassuring to know that your diagnosis was worthwhile. May I ask where you went for it? I'm in Wales, so the chances of getting an NHS referral (at least within a few years) is non-existent. I can just about afford £500 at the moment, but everywhere I've seen so far online appears to be upwards of £750 for initial diagnosis and titration. Does your £500 include all of this, or is it just the initial analysis?
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onlymarfs
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Post by onlymarfs on Aug 18, 2020 11:14:28 GMT
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Post by Redcurrant on Aug 24, 2020 8:45:26 GMT
Hi, I'm newly diagnosed (46, female) in the UK. I went to my GP and got a referral. It took about 9 months or so, but I got it. Had a remote consultation with a psychiatrist and am now on meds. I'm still coming to terms with the diagnosis and trying to assess whether the meds are a good thing or not but guess I just wanted to post to say, that if you're in the UK you don't need to pay, you can go via the NHS. If you feel you fit the diagnostic criteria you can ask your GP to will refer you. You may need to go to them armed with some background reading as the GP may not know very much about it. Good luck.
Ps if anyone knows of a forum / thread / site where people are discussing stimulant meds for middle aged inattentive ADD people i would be very grateful. I'm trying to make sense of what I am experiencing right now. Thanks
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mrsmilvus
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Post by mrsmilvus on Aug 24, 2020 8:51:47 GMT
Hi, I'm newly diagnosed (46, female) in the UK. I went to my GP and got a referral. It took about 9 months or so, but I got it. Had a remote consultation with a psychiatrist and am now on meds. I'm still coming to terms with the diagnosis and trying to assess whether the meds are a good thing or not but guess I just wanted to post to say, that if you're in the UK you don't need to pay, you can go via the NHS. If you feel you fit the diagnostic criteria you can ask your GP to will refer you. You may need to go to them armed with some background reading as the GP may not know very much about it. Good luck.
Ps if anyone knows of a forum / thread / site where people are discussing stimulant meds for middle aged inattentive ADD people i would be very grateful. I'm trying to make sense of what I am experiencing right now. Thanks
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slope
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Post by slope on Aug 24, 2020 20:05:27 GMT
Hi you all. New to this forum and came here due to Google search. This is my first post, so I will do a little introduction. If that is overkill, or fraud upon, well you know what to do. Report post to the guardian moderators and post will be gone. This thread really got me fired up so my post became a lot longer then what I initially intended. I signed up to ask some Q's about ADHD, and I saw this thread. Wow. you guys rocks. Your life is the polar opposite of my. I've got no career, have gotten fired from every job. Because I mess up, I can't keep focus or I get angry when people get frustrated with me because of the way I behave. I guess the angry part is as much a symptom of my problems with self regulation as it is with self protection. I've been yelled at, and fired so many times that when people give med graze I tend to over react and get angry. Later, I wish i didn't...but I always bounce back, and I guess I make a good first impression because I always find a new job when one is lost. I am 45 and was diagnosed with ADHD last year, it was not really a shock. I guess I was pondering about the possible ADHD for a while before I asked to tested. Spend a lot of time and money on therapy over the past year to try go understand myself, change the way I behave and getting better at learning new tasks, perform over time, learning new skills and being able to soak up information and keep that information over time. But it is a long way and I feel I just started to scratch the surface. I have yet to find a way to harvest any good things about the ADHD, I hear people say their ADHD is what keep them successful or give them that overdrive and never quit attitude. I hope to get there too, and that is why I signed up for this forum and your thread was the first thread I read and it spoke to me. As we are of similar aga and both got the diagnosis late in life I hope I can pick up some tricks to become a better version of myself for the future. Or maybe your success can rub off on me at least to the point where I can keep a job for a longer period I struggle with the ADHD. The diagnosis gave me answers and I better understand why my life turned out this way and why I am like I am. But understanding is only phase one. Now I must learn to be my own boss, learn to master myself and my brain. And I find that to be a really tall order. In my 20's I was lead singer in a small town cover band, nothing big, we played at local bars and small events and did mostly cover of well known tunes. But the whole band situation was a really great time in my life, it got me excited, fired up and I felt I was pretty good at it. One of the few times in life I didn't feel I felt short, or was under performing. So after advice from my therapist I've picked up this old hobby. This time just for fun, and to try to get a smell of succeeding with something. As a singer back then, I did only rhythm guitar and not even on all songs. My main focus was the singing part. This time I've sat a goal of mixing rhythm and lead playing but after one year all I can say is that my mind is playing tricks on me. To actually learn now chord voicing's, soloing, or anything new other then the old open chords or barrè chords I've yet not mastered. Even with a lot of practice, and taking lessons. I have just recently started with a new approach - putting all of the new information, chord shapes, scales, various triad shapes etc into a "flash card app". The theory behind this is much more repetition is what will put the data into my long term memory, and if that works - I might actually be able to succeed. All I can say is that my normal "RAM" often gets it's data corrupted and lost. This new approach came to me from the therapist after a seminar he attended. So it is all new - but hopefully I will not have the same experience when learning new stuff this time around as I had in school way back when. If I can master this in regards to guitar playing - who knows where it can lead? Maybe I can go back to school? Or use the approach to master new skills needed for the next job. Cos there will be a new job, it is always a new job as I struggle to keep jobs. Maybe this can be a game changer? The idea is that I use this flash card app to repeat and repeat that data I need to remember. Day in and out, and I get a reminder on the phone when I need to complete a task in order for things to sink into my adhd brain. I have high hopes and I will keep looking back into this thread to see if there is other tips and tricks old guys like me can adapt to have a more successful and productive future then I had in the past. At least I've have vast experience in how not to try to learn new stuff - so I will not try those methods again.
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