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Post by B on Sept 15, 2021 22:19:48 GMT
Hey so yesterday I (18M) received my ADHD diagnosis and both parents have kind of made me feel like it's incorrect. They've made me feel like that's not me and there must have been a mistake. I know the struggles I have and I've done plenty of research and then gone through the whole diagnosis process after which I was told I was correct. I know reasonably I shouldn't be worrying about it but I can't help it. They've also said things and made out like I'd been lying to them or hiding things from them because I decided to wait until diagnosis to tell them. Idk, it just wasn't received as I hoped it would be and they're making me doubt everything and even making me doubt whether I want to start meds or not. I get they're just looking out for me but it's just upsetting to feel like I'm not believed or taken seriously or trusted to make my own decisions. Any advice or help with how to deal with imposter syndrome/self doubt would be great
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Post by londonwillow on Sept 15, 2021 23:35:54 GMT
Hey there. I’m so sorry you aren’t getting the support you need. I wish I had some advice but I’m hiding my diagnosis from one parent for same reason. My children are wonderfully supportive thank goodness which helps but I think partly, it’s because of the stigma surrounding adhd from when I was young that has made the approach so different. I found a great resource in Instagram - I think it’s called mini adhd coach. It outlines common traits and every now and then, I send one as a message to a doubter without comment. It makes me feel better. No idea if the message gets through but I think we have to learn to validate ourselves a little through this process. I hope things improve for you soon x
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Post by B on Sept 16, 2021 10:59:11 GMT
Thanks for that, hope things improve for you too. I don't think it helps that especially as adults we've probably learned to hide a lot of these things and keep our struggles to ourselves. And I love them on insta too!!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 16, 2021 11:11:13 GMT
As a parent, you kinda have to train yourself to not react to things you may be vehemently opposed to.
It is, quite literally, the most difficult thing ever.
It may be worth getting your parents to admit the underlying driver to their reaction. You can do this by, potentially, humouring their side of the argument and doing 'what if' style questions.
Something like... "Let's assume this diagnosis is completely wrong - why does this matter to you, exactly?"
Potential answers might include your 'reputation' and thus your ability to gain meaningful employment or your health when taking amphetamines or whatever. Use the sales technique of 'objection handling' for whatever they come up with.
If you're not getting anywhere with this then you can always fall back on every parents worst fear - that one day they will die and they will have left their kids woefully unprepared to handle the world by themselves.
That's my worst fear, anyway!
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Post by cassandro on Sept 17, 2021 12:36:28 GMT
Maybe your parents just need time to adjust how they think about you? It can be like part of a personality becomes medicalised, when they like to think they know what you want. I can only suggest finding other people who you can accept your ADHD. That itself is tricky. I talk about it with a couple of intimate friends and my mentor.
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Post by Ariel on Sept 25, 2021 17:33:52 GMT
Awesome response. Parents may be going through all sorts of stuff guilt, alienation that they werent part of your solution / help seeking, dealing with stigma, feeling like you're just the same person they've always known and not being able to reconcile that with difficulties or a label. It's shite that they're taking it out on you. But maybe tgey don't have good info sources. Perhaps signposting them to a website, blog or book about adhd could help? As a parent, you kinda have to train yourself to not react to things you may be vehemently opposed to. It is, quite literally, the most difficult thing ever. It may be worth getting your parents to admit the underlying driver to their reaction. You can do this by, potentially, humouring their side of the argument and doing 'what if' style questions. Something like... "Let's assume this diagnosis is completely wrong - why does this matter to you, exactly?" Potential answers might include your 'reputation' and thus your ability to gain meaningful employment or your health when taking amphetamines or whatever. Use the sales technique of 'objection handling' for whatever they come up with. If you're not getting anywhere with this then you can always fall back on every parents worst fear - that one day they will die and they will have left their kids woefully unprepared to handle the world by themselves. That's my worst fear, anyway!
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