Deleted
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Aug 19, 2012 1:19:16 GMT
Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2012 1:19:16 GMT
So, I have a referral to a specialist. It's not a diagnosis, I know, but enough people have bought into the notion that I might be ADHD in the head that this is rapidly becoming a reality. What do I feel about this? I don't really know at the moment. It feels huge, like a sword hanging over me that sooner or later is going to crash down and cut one way or the other.
I don't know. This...chaos, that I've dragged out of myself and thrown down on the table kicking and screaming. This terrible prison that I'd called normal for so long and is now dissolving around my ears. The world seems at once exhilarating and terrifying as I try to adjust to this new reality.
I don't know where the train is going, but I'm on it now whether i like it or not.
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bobjones
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Aug 19, 2012 12:21:28 GMT
Post by bobjones on Aug 19, 2012 12:21:28 GMT
You have a referral. Thats good! Really good! Until you've been diagnosed there is little you can actually do so worrying is a waste of time and effort. The little you can do is document the symptoms. Try not to focus on just ADHD symptoms, ADHD is commonly co-mobid with many other conditions. The sooner you can identify, the better. Start here, aadduk.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=symptoms&action=display&thread=5473 Talk to people you trust, get their input. Document it. They might have more of an insight than you. Self awareness was never my strong point, it took me years to get smallest amount. I still can't act on the awareness that I do have Good luck!
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Aug 27, 2012 22:28:37 GMT
Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2012 22:28:37 GMT
Two weeks have passed since I got the referral, and they've been tough ones. Now that things have begun to move, it's hard to sit and wait, knowing there's not much I can do. In the time leading up to the assessment I was a wreck, couldn't concentrate on anything because it was weighing on my mind so much. I'd thought that once I got through that appointment one way or the other I'd be more in control again, but it hasn't really happened, and at work especially I've still been getting almost nothing done.
When it comes to not getting things done, I think I've been letting myself off the hook a little bit too much and taking an attitude of "not my fault - ADHD". I feel like I'm beginning to inhabit the idea of having an actual disorder, a mental disability. That's jumping the gun somewhat, considering I've not even been diagnosed yet, but it seems more and more like a matter of time.
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bobjones
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Aug 27, 2012 23:18:15 GMT
Post by bobjones on Aug 27, 2012 23:18:15 GMT
Snap (nothing done, no concentration, hiding, using the ADHD as an excuse), but I'm dealing with life after the diagnosis. I just don't know where to start, so I haven't! Your not alone
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Aug 29, 2012 11:43:09 GMT
Post by lambylottie on Aug 29, 2012 11:43:09 GMT
Feel like this also...and I don't have an appointment yet for referral as my GP has sent the referral off to the PCT, who have to taken it to a panel to decide whether I can have it. Although she has already spoken to them and found out that it will be a yes, it just takes a month to undergo all the formalities. You kind of feel 'in limbo' while waiting don't you? I think I may need some therapy to get through this stage, it is also effecting my relationship with my husband and children as it is one of the only things I can think about therefore I am letting things slip with house work etc. I can also not focus well on my job although I am forcing myself too. Somedays I don't feel like seeing anyone though and I have too as my job is as a childminder! Luckily I get myself in work mode and just play all day and set up activities for the children but I am not getting any of the paperwork side of it done.
I have started a project which I feel may be taking on too much (as usual) by applying for funding for a community project. It was a great idea at the time but now I need to start putting things in motion I am starting to feel overwhelmed. At least it is something to concentrate on in the meantime while I wait for referral I guess.
Do you have this problem? Having to always have a project, something going on to distract you and stimulate your brain?
I feel a bit like I am hyper-focussing and then to distract myself from that I am sub- hyper - focussing!!! lol
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bobjones
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Aug 29, 2012 12:44:42 GMT
Post by bobjones on Aug 29, 2012 12:44:42 GMT
The limbo may not stop on diagnosis. Getting the right meds may take time too. Be prepared but know you are going in the right direction. "Work mode" is something I recognise and with hindsight could easily be the adhd 'hyper focus'. Starting projects, books, tasks etc. and not finishing is what I do! I have 100's of projects on the go! None of them are even close to being completed. Every day is a busy, busy, busy but nothing gets done! Family is hard. Get them to watch some of the Russell Barkley youtube videos. Hopefully it may give them a greater understanding of what you're going through.
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Aug 30, 2012 12:03:01 GMT
Post by lambylottie on Aug 30, 2012 12:03:01 GMT
Thanks Bob, at least it is some comfort to know that there are thousands of people going through this together.
Family is very tricky. I share their frustrations with me!
My daughter (aged 5) is going through the assessment process to find out whether she has adhd, asd, spd or a combination. I find it difficult to take care of her and her sister (age 2) with childminding and housework, appointments as it is and yet because this doesn't challenge me enough mentally I need projects and always something to 'focus' on. This then invades my time for doing my chores, playing with the children and keeping up with 'real life' so it is like a vicious, self destructive circle. Eventually I go into melt down and explode!
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bobjones
Member posts quite a bit
Posts: 103
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Aug 30, 2012 18:28:12 GMT
Post by bobjones on Aug 30, 2012 18:28:12 GMT
The main reason for me getting a diagnosis is my son (6), given the heredity of ADHD. I've pretty much given up on me, he is my focus now.
For project, maybe try audiobooks or distance learning. There is a load of stuff on the net. You can stick an ipod in your ear all day and still play, tidy etc. At one point I tried to learn 4 languages simultaneously!!
Something like iTunesU or Kahn Academy could be useful. Short punch of info to hyper focus on!
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Aug 30, 2012 19:49:44 GMT
Post by dizzydee on Aug 30, 2012 19:49:44 GMT
i have been referred but heard nothing yet.... work mode is something i do too i am a receptionist/admin assistant i stop at the front door take a deep breath and plaster a big smile on my face which pretty much stays there no matter what until i leave..... i am too busy to get my work done most of the time lol... people say can you do this for me and i say no I'm too busy but when they ask what with I'm never quite sure and just point to all the papers on my desk..
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