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Post by JJ on Dec 5, 2014 2:48:05 GMT
It's never going to make you an administrative whizz kid unfortunately And a big pile of unopened mail is never gonna be appealing However - good news is that it does seem to be having an effect. . You're not on a "full dose", so you might feel more of an effect a little higher. The max dose per day NICE recommends is 100mg (IR mph) for adults (children it's 60mg) The optimum dose for an individual is when the benefits outweigh the costs. So that would be finding a dose that's good then trying the next one up until that next one up makes you feel worse not better - then you know that's too much. My mood improved on 15mg - and then 20mg made all the difference to my adhd symptoms. It might be that you would find 25mg doses, or 30mg better, you might not- you just can't tell without trying. But what you've described definitely sounds positive. I had more to write re meds being only 1 part of it, the other being addressing a lifetime of approaching horrible but necessary tasks the wrong way - of never having learned and honed effective strategies and behaviours for dealing with things that need to be done. If you'd learned good strategies as a child, teenager and adult, the pile of mail might not feel so intimidating in the first place - and anxiety is also a barrier to dealing with things that need to be done and a good friend of procrastination. That's why NICE recommends psychological help alongside meds. But I'm so tired right now, so I've mentioned it as a possible pointer on here to see what effect meds have had on different people's lives after the initial phase. Xxxx
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Post by petra on Dec 6, 2014 3:16:03 GMT
I think you need to slow things down a little. You need to allow yourself time to recover from everything that's just happened, process things and adjust. I rushed the titration at one point and ended up in a bit of a mess, so I dropped back a dose and calmed things and my expectations down. Then, a few weeks later when I tried upping the dose again, I was ready for it and it worked well. I think it's a process, and different things need to be addressed at different stages and all this takes time. Stability and consistency need to built up too, as well as patience and acceptance for when things aren't going as quickly/ well as we would like.
I think it's also a time when you need to learn how to really look after yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. Years back, a psychiatrist said to me to look after my mind and not treat it like a machine. Be gentle and kind to yourself xx
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Post by blaze on Dec 6, 2014 15:03:34 GMT
I know your pysch appoint wasnt great and you didnt get much guidence re meds but id say its realy important to slow down upping doses, maybe even book gp appoint to get sm support with it. Its not jst about how your brain adjusts but your body to and the side effevts can be culmative. I was allowed to bouce up doses of ritilin v quickly.but I was 20 and ofherwise v healthy (other than my.joints).and had been on it as a kid at sm point, and was v closely supervised. Its worth giving your nervous sustem time to adjust, and maybe disscussing.how to.address.the depression also. There is no magic effect with meds, smtimes it can feel like there is an aha moment but that passes too im afraid. Meds can help, but they are no magiv wand, amd if your clinging onto that it may get in the way of finding how they will work for you. It can also take alot of trial and error to find the right dose or combo of meds that work for you, the ups and downs that happen during this long frustrating process cd set off your depression so ots allways worth addressing both, medicaly or otherwise, anf give youraelf alot of leaway til it all balances out smwhat.
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Post by blaze on Dec 7, 2014 7:35:44 GMT
I understand how cheated you must feel (and your officialy complaining right? Which is the exact thing to do). I have had brilliant treatment for adhd on nhs, other than a long wait this time but that was techincalities of out of area referals, but I have had v negligent treatment from physios/rhymetologists for my joints (and sm amazing ones too), and I still get upset about how badly I was trwated prenataly, during labour, in the wards afterwards, and by hvs..... we put in a complaint aboht the labour midwife who was abusive, but left the rest, and I guess while im still upset about it, teary, its not as much.of a trigger point as it was. Life will move on, and it wont consume you.
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Post by blaze on Dec 7, 2014 11:49:16 GMT
I felt disapointed about the response I got from complaining, I didnt feel heard, and I didnt get the much needed apology because the midwife lied. However, the biggest part of putting in the complaint was me speaking up, not as much about the response, if that makes sence. Smtimes we jst have to do our part and let go of the rst, my over inflated sence of injustice doesnt ljke that, but my sence of self needed it.
Gd luck with review x
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Post by contrarymary on Dec 11, 2014 18:45:59 GMT
well done @pelargonium!
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Post by JJ on Dec 18, 2014 1:45:47 GMT
Hi @pelargonium I'm too tired to write now, but just quickly wanted to say that being ill affects how my meds work - and I saw this and thought it might be useful for you re the anxiety and the irritability etc - Thomas E Brown - Adhd in Clinical Practice - page 3 'clinical tailoring of medications' Xx
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Post by supine on Dec 18, 2014 10:07:54 GMT
Hi @pelargonium, I've just read this thread for the first time and it sounds like you are well on your way and making progress (even if it isn't as smooth as you'd hoped!) One thing that struck me whilst I was reading it, and that is that MPH isn't a magic pill (which I'm sure you are well aware of now ). Im my experience, it *removes* the mental barriers that prevent you from doing things that you would like to do, but it doesn't *create* the willpower to do them - that still needs to come from you. So on a day when you had things you needed to do (but were not very enticing, like a massive pile of mail) then it won't make you do them. However, if you have set your will to sort the mail, then the MPH should at least prevent a lot of the undermining that goes in your head that ADHD seems to deliver in spades I also think you may be better off on slow release, but that's just my opinion. I have a 7-day pill container which I fill up when I take the last dose and I can see immediately if I have taken them or not - it makes it a lot easier to keep track and not forget to take them. In fact in over a year now I have forgotten to take them only once As petra said, there are so many internal adjustments to make as you get used to the medication and new revelations start to occur that it is important to stay grounded, keep your routines and don't push yourself too hard - it will come (and I don't recommend having all your revelations in a short space of time - most de-stabilising!)
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Post by supine on Dec 18, 2014 15:28:29 GMT
@pelargonium, just take a moment and have a look at that post you just made. I don't mean the detail, the presentation.
You have presented your words in a paragraphed format (important for ADHD'ers to assimilate!) using concise language and the whole things looks organised and written by someone in control of themselves and their emotions.
Question: Did you write like this before starting on the meds? I'm just curious because it just seems so well ordered and laid out.
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Post by supine on Dec 18, 2014 18:01:20 GMT
You've just reminded me of the head-spinning that I used to get before meds! I can't believe it has been so long since I suffered from that that I have forgotten! I can't speak from experience regarding IR MPH, I've only ever taken Concerta XL so I haven't really experience the spikes/troughs that you are going through - I'm not sure I would like it to be honest. Having a working brain seems to get us over a lot of obstacles at work, but like you say, there are definitely some things that you cannot hide - especially the procrastination. I still suffer from it now, but I can overcome it a lot easier (or at all in fact). Reading through your thoughts on those 'blank paper' moments also reminded me that I no longer have this problem either. However, if I am handed a preconceived structure for something (like a design template) that doesn't follow my own (or close to my own) logic then my brain kind of shuts down. I had this fairly recently on a major project and had to design it all and document it in a format that was, to be quite honest, not fit for purpose. I spent two days trying to get my head around how I was going to shoe-horn all this information into a document that didn't make sense etc. In the end I had to write my own design (i.e. a proper one) and then got someone else to strip it into pieces to fit into this other document. Once they had I could go back to it and work on it (and make it legible again!) - but even now I can't bear to think about that original template. Having said that, the other designers were having trouble with the templates too and in the end used my design as their reference model! I think the meds will move you beyond the problems that you have considered normal to deal with up until now, but there will still be problems in front of you - at least you will be better armed and should have a bucket-load of confidence in yourself to deal with them I also used to get anxious on meds for the first weeks, but that has completely worn off now (I also don't drink coffee anymore. Caffeine is not a good mix with MPH). It's good to hear that you are on the way up again, it sounds like you've had a pretty rough time.
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Post by shiveringsky on Dec 19, 2014 12:47:56 GMT
Well done pelargonium. You're handling it all so well and I hope that pesky cold trots off very soon. Really glad you're sharing with us.
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Dec 20, 2014 19:01:42 GMT
Amphetamines will always cause anxiety as I read something about how it creates the whole 'fight or flight' thing in you and with no where to go it turns into anxiety! Can't remember if that was entirely correct but there is a clear link between apmhet and anxiety.
Anyway I had severe anxiety before taking meds and the way I've got over it is by taking 600mcg of L-theanine every morning and sometimes a bit more at midday and night.
People who have co-morbid anxiety really need to look into this l-theanine stuff like I've probably said on here countless times before it has reduced my aniexty by about 90% and now can live as close to normal life as possible. the best part of it the constant feeling of dread that I used to walk around with all the time has gone.
Plus the automatic anixiety response where you get that gut feeling everytime something happens. I mean I used to get if I heard a horn beep, a load noise, someone shout and worse still even when the door bell used to go off! weird but yeah it used to drive me up the wall having these random anxious feelings. I mean I was to scared to go anywhere or do anything I didn't have to coz I was always fearing the worse case scenario, like kids getting kidnaped, crashing the car etc......all pretty much gone now thanks to l-theanine.
I couldn't live my life without it so look into it people. It has no side affects and creates calmness without any drowsy affects it actually is meant to increase dopamine levels. That's how I actually came across it when I was looking for alternative ADHD treatment....never looked back!
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Post by JJ on Dec 28, 2014 18:11:44 GMT
Edit Wasted most of morning online - again! I don't know if I should just accept that mornings are a struggle for me right now and stop planning to do anything. I am so frustrated with myself for wasting time. I used to do this quite often at the beginning and felt equally frustrated at myself. My tip would be to make yourself do something physical about 20 mins or so after taking your meds. Doesn't have to be big, just make yourself clear the crockery, or put a wash load in, just anything that makes you be physically active and off the computer. I've found that if I can do that and am moving when the meds kick in, I will carry on being productive. But, if I'm on the ipad, I'll stay on there for the rest of the time. I can still waste 4 hours on the ipad now (and mornings are definitely worst), but not so often - and I'm very aware that if I'm sitting on the ipad for too long after the meds will kick in, that's an active choice I'm making to lose the next few hours. Xxx
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Post by Roy on Dec 28, 2014 23:21:08 GMT
Well done for keeping a log The mistake I made when I started meds was constantly comparing my life to my career peak and berating myself for not clambering back up the ladder fast enough. Although I doubt I'll ever turn that off completely, I'm a little better now. It may help to remember to be kind to yourself. Not even superheroes like us can rebuild Rome in a day.
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Post by petra on Jan 1, 2015 3:50:58 GMT
Hi @pelargonium. I've just read Sori Solden's book Women with adhd, second edition, and I think it would benefit you too. Some parts are a bit repetitious, but I think it gives a really good understanding of the process of learning about adhd, the affect it's had on you in your life and provides a bit of a map for the journey from beginning medication to, for want of a better phrase...'becoming the best you, you can be'! It's helped and had an impact on me x
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Curtis
Member's posted somewhat
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Post by Curtis on Jan 2, 2015 10:13:38 GMT
Hello! I hope you don't mind me butting in here, but I've seen from your posts here that you've not had the best of time getting diagnosed, but also in another thread you were asking about the Bristol ADHD group. You don't actually live in Bristol, do you? (Just asking as I've had nothing but positive experiences with the Bristol ADHD clinic)
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Post by petra on Mar 20, 2015 17:04:16 GMT
Sorry to hear you're struggling a bit atm - I hope the walk does the trick and helps you to get a good night sleep x
Just a few thoughts which might or might not be helpful - at times in my life when I've not been able to eat enough I've found Build Up/ Complan really helpful - I used to buy the chocolate flavoured one - mix extremely thoroughly with full fat milk - which I just made myself down as quickly as possible followed by a glass of water. I lived off these when I was 15 for weeks on end due to a broken jaw.
I also have a jug of filtered water on the go - I regularly drink it regardless of whether I'm thirsty - it makes a big difference to how I feel now that I'm on adhd meds.
A good quality multi vitamin/ mineral plus omega oil capsules might be an idea.
Re sleeping - I find if I do some stretches before getting into bed, take a melatonin tablet, read until my eyes are tired, followed by listening to a body scan mindfulness audio all really help me both to get to sleep and improve the quality of my sleep. Being on my ipad is not a good idea though I still do it sometimes!
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Post by C on Mar 20, 2015 20:11:28 GMT
Petra, could I please ask where you buy your melatonin from? I've seen it for sale on Amazon, but wasn't sure if it was safe to buy online. Thanks.
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Post by C on Mar 20, 2015 20:13:22 GMT
Apologies Pelargonium, I didn't realise this was in your diary thread! Sorry.
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Post by JJ on Apr 2, 2015 0:00:22 GMT
Sorry yr feeling like that,
Don't fight the 2 months meds - it's such an arse keep going back once you're settled. Mine gave me 4 months last time. Pharmacists should check (cos they're responsible for the meds too).
Head stopped working altogether now - sleeping tabs have kicked in xx
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Post by JJ on Apr 14, 2015 12:39:10 GMT
((((( @pelargonium )))))
I totally understand how you feel
I'm glad you feel a little better today xxxxx
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Post by petra on Apr 14, 2015 15:54:35 GMT
I know what you mean about not being able to 'do' anything till the cloud passes. I'm like that. There are difficult times when I am able 'to do' and then the other times when I feel I should but just can't. My current approach to this is to try to be more accepting of the times I just can't, and allow time and space for them. The more I try 'to do' when I'm in those places the worse I seem to get and the longer it seems to last. I end up beating myself up, getting thoroughly knotted up and increasingly miserable. Sometimes we just do need a pyjama duvet over head day to recharge, do things which don't take any effort (for me these are being on ipad and reading), and then when the cloud does shift try and get back on plan as quickly as possible. I think it's usual to have a tendency to beat ourselves up, but it really is counterproductive - I'm trying to learn to use the duvet days for mindful self compassion! If we could really see with x-Ray vision the strains and stresses we are under, the energy we get through just trying to successfully get through a day/week we wouldn't be nearly so hard on ourselves.
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Post by blaze on May 11, 2015 10:19:05 GMT
How are you op? I haven't seen your name on here in a while so hoping that's my ADHD ; ) or cause things are going well. Hope you are okxx
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Post by blaze on Aug 28, 2015 11:36:47 GMT
Glad the new psych sounds decent. I'm a big fan of feeling your feelings- manipulating them away with positive thinking or whatever is damaging imo and processing them is how we can move forward and lets go- within time. If we are angry imo its for gd reason and forced 'forgiving' etc means missing understanding our valid reasons for anger. Have you ever read voice dialogue? It's useful for processing feelings ime although I prefer the UK sites to the crunchie American ones.
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Post by contrarymary on Aug 28, 2015 21:33:00 GMT
@pelargonium so glad that you are Finally seeing a psych who is Helpful. bloody hell what a journey to get here tho fingers crossed that you have passed the nadir of your experience and are on your way up up up
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2015 9:28:40 GMT
Day 4. Again, no negative effects, no discernable therapeutic effects. I hate this process, it feels like I am waiting for life to happen to me. Gaaah! I am too impatient for words!!! Stay strong! Four days is nothing and even if it takes four months, if it works it will be worth it! I thought about trying dex because despite being able to focus much better, I still have the cotton wool in my head. But thanks to the move I don't have the time to go through the process. Otherwise I would have done it, even if it took several months and ended in me going back to Concerta. I see it as an investment to finding the optimal way for me to function. I don't care how long it takes. If the end result is me being happy and productive, then even a year invested is a year well spent! Hope these positive vibes reach you at their full strength!
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Post by blaze on Sept 17, 2015 18:18:43 GMT
That's called crawling under a duvet, and totally valid and useful in the general process of *healing* -hate that word, but it is what it is-
Chocolate is an essential part of the treatment ; )
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Post by contrarymary on Sept 17, 2015 20:21:00 GMT
(((((@pelargonium)))))
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2015 11:31:47 GMT
@pelargonium I have that 'wanting to hide'-feeling all the time, my wife (who can be considered relatively normal) has that all the time, it's part of living (doing something with your life) and daring to get out of your comfort zone. When you're out of your comfort zone, that's when the duvet becomes ever so attractive. My wife and I quite literally keep a duvet on the couch, a huge couch that has footstools to create a giant living-room bed where we hide away during the evenings and weekends. (It's World Cup Rugby! We are so going to live there the next few weeks! ) We even have two gigantic plush Pandas that are absolutely amazing to fall on top of and lie there for a while. Our home is quite literally an escape into a different world and it really helps to keep grounded (i.e. not become boringly serious ). I also find that since starting my meds and some mindfulness, I'm getting better in touch with my emotions. It sometimes makes it appear like I'm more emotional than usual, but I think it is actually rather a case of recognising my emotions more readily. It feels a bit overwhelming because I'm not yet used to it. My guess is that eventually it will help me feel more balanced. At least, that is what my specialist told me and I do find I'm making some progress there. blaze is absolutely right! There is also no substitute for chocolate. (We have four bars in stock for this weekend's ruggers!)
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Post by vagueandrandom on Oct 2, 2015 21:42:28 GMT
as contrarymary says, it's sunny, you have some beautiful fabrics. . . be creative. . . I know it's difficult not to think about thinking sometimes. . .but if you can, and just follow your heart and creativity. . you could have a glorious weekend!
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