Post by julia on Jan 31, 2015 22:24:33 GMT
Hi, im sorry if my spelling isnt perfect im not English,although i live in England and my ex boyfriend is English.
I just would like to share my story with you. I meet this guy like 8 months ago, he was from the beginning a very special guy, very different from the others i met so far. Hes 30 years old. He told me when we were together like 4 months about this adhd disorder but i havent thought that would be something too "bad", so I told him thats not a problem, as well as I have people with much worse mental problems in my family and i do understand.
When he was a child his dad used to beat him very badly, his dad wasnt either alcoholic nor drug addict as he old me. Many years afterwards he became a drug addict.
We have so much bad things in common, my dad was an alcoholic and was very violent against my mum and us as well, but i only was beaten a couple of times by my father, was mostly against my mum. So i had a horrible childhood as well and when i was a teenager i was a drug addict as well.
Imagine we meet both of us with the same bad background at some point and fall in love like crazy, well at least me. He can be such a good bf sometimes, he used to buy me flowers very often, write me poems, care about me crossing the road, protect me, cook and clean for me, go to the shop to buy something i like no matter the time or how tired he is... but at the same time he can be so nasty, so hurtful and such a bad bf...
He really used to stress me out as he cant stop talking and doesnt let me talk, we have arguments for stupid things and then that escalates so bad that is like he cant be anymore in that place and he has to run away, but before that he is the nastiest person ever, he picks the things that hurt me more and attacks me verbally very badly,he does this in a daily basis even if we hadnt had an argument i feel he feels strangely "jealous" about me and he tries to put me down in a daily basis about a lot of things, is like he wants to compete against me. Hes extremely intelligent but at the same time his reasoning sometimes is so weird. The first thing he has done when he hasnt got the passport on time for our holidays was putting himself in front of the traffic could being killed! When we lately went on holiday he disappeared many times when we had arguments for stupid things and that was the first time he used violence against me well not by hitting me but he threatened me by destroying my property if i dont give him money. After that holidays i thought he was so stressed because he had no money and was in my country and couldnt speak the language well and i said well that could happen, and we tried again, we even moved together. Once he told me he cheated on me and then one month after told me was a lie to hurt me. Two times he threatened me with breaking my computer for stupid arguments as well, as he wanted money, or wanted to steal my bike, as he said he bought to me as a present, when i bought him presents too, and i still forgave him, as he said is just saying he never would do that. This time the threaten came true, today we had an stupid argument and he smashed my computer and destroyed it and then he wanted to steal my bike and when i tried to stop him he grabbed me on my throat badly, i really felt frightened i thought we would kill me or something. The worst thing is he shows no remorse after doing this bad things he messaged me saying "hahahhahaha" about my computer being destroyed and other times when he done bad things to me he only apologized cause he was too scared of me leaving him not cause he really wanted it, or felt like that.
Im still in love with him i feel so stupid and I want to understand if this behavior is related to adhd or he has something else, whats going on with him? why sometimes it looks like he loves me so much and then he can be such a bad person? why he shows no remorse? why cant he cope with stress and a simple argument and things have to escalate that much? i just want to understand, please, please, help me.
Many thanks
I just would like to share my story with you. I meet this guy like 8 months ago, he was from the beginning a very special guy, very different from the others i met so far. Hes 30 years old. He told me when we were together like 4 months about this adhd disorder but i havent thought that would be something too "bad", so I told him thats not a problem, as well as I have people with much worse mental problems in my family and i do understand.
When he was a child his dad used to beat him very badly, his dad wasnt either alcoholic nor drug addict as he old me. Many years afterwards he became a drug addict.
We have so much bad things in common, my dad was an alcoholic and was very violent against my mum and us as well, but i only was beaten a couple of times by my father, was mostly against my mum. So i had a horrible childhood as well and when i was a teenager i was a drug addict as well.
Imagine we meet both of us with the same bad background at some point and fall in love like crazy, well at least me. He can be such a good bf sometimes, he used to buy me flowers very often, write me poems, care about me crossing the road, protect me, cook and clean for me, go to the shop to buy something i like no matter the time or how tired he is... but at the same time he can be so nasty, so hurtful and such a bad bf...
He really used to stress me out as he cant stop talking and doesnt let me talk, we have arguments for stupid things and then that escalates so bad that is like he cant be anymore in that place and he has to run away, but before that he is the nastiest person ever, he picks the things that hurt me more and attacks me verbally very badly,he does this in a daily basis even if we hadnt had an argument i feel he feels strangely "jealous" about me and he tries to put me down in a daily basis about a lot of things, is like he wants to compete against me. Hes extremely intelligent but at the same time his reasoning sometimes is so weird. The first thing he has done when he hasnt got the passport on time for our holidays was putting himself in front of the traffic could being killed! When we lately went on holiday he disappeared many times when we had arguments for stupid things and that was the first time he used violence against me well not by hitting me but he threatened me by destroying my property if i dont give him money. After that holidays i thought he was so stressed because he had no money and was in my country and couldnt speak the language well and i said well that could happen, and we tried again, we even moved together. Once he told me he cheated on me and then one month after told me was a lie to hurt me. Two times he threatened me with breaking my computer for stupid arguments as well, as he wanted money, or wanted to steal my bike, as he said he bought to me as a present, when i bought him presents too, and i still forgave him, as he said is just saying he never would do that. This time the threaten came true, today we had an stupid argument and he smashed my computer and destroyed it and then he wanted to steal my bike and when i tried to stop him he grabbed me on my throat badly, i really felt frightened i thought we would kill me or something. The worst thing is he shows no remorse after doing this bad things he messaged me saying "hahahhahaha" about my computer being destroyed and other times when he done bad things to me he only apologized cause he was too scared of me leaving him not cause he really wanted it, or felt like that.
Im still in love with him i feel so stupid and I want to understand if this behavior is related to adhd or he has something else, whats going on with him? why sometimes it looks like he loves me so much and then he can be such a bad person? why he shows no remorse? why cant he cope with stress and a simple argument and things have to escalate that much? i just want to understand, please, please, help me.
Many thanks