Post by Sookie on Feb 28, 2015 21:31:31 GMT
Hi everyone,
I've been with my (non medicated) ADHD partner for one year now, I've read alot about the condition and how it affects peoples relationships and even though I'm trying my best I'm beginning to struggle with knowing where the '' line is crossed''. We all know the story of falling in love you can't get enough of each other etc etc put ADHD in the mix it's magnetised 100 times over! He couldn't get enough of me I've never felt love or feeling so special like that before. Over the months his hyperfocus went away from me and onto other things which I already knew from sites like this and I dealt with it, but the past few months have been getting worse and worse.
We don't live together yet (have plans to this year) he stays over my place for a night or two weekly I admit I spoiled him the first few months I always do the cooking/cleaning and he doesn't even offer to help which is all that would make the difference for feeling cared for he just plays on his phone or the xbox (which I have moved out of the bedroom). We have rules like no phone while eating at the table that's when we talk etc etc. When he leaves however it all changes, he's obsessed with xbox and online gaming (I have no issue with him playing aslong as his real and virtual life is balanced) but it isn't. He used to text me such nice things all the time now he hardly says a word to me. If we text I wait hours and sometime up to the next day to hear from him!. He'll play online for hours with his friends and even when we're both online it's me who makes the first move (which I've now stopped) again I wait hours for not even a sentence. I'm beginning to feel so unloved and have MUG written over me. I've never shouted at him I wait until I'm calm and tell him and say so what can we do to improve it I try my best to keep positive when resolving issues. I'm forgotten when he's at his place it's like I don't even matter never invites me round even when he's home not doing anything the games come before me coming over. He buys very expensive things for gaming, when I try and tell him we need to be saving up etc. He makes no effort to say morning or goodnight like he used to with me, I feel like I'm the thing he see's once and week and sleeps with then goes away to live his ''teenage life'' we're both 22!! when I bring issues up he hates it, avoids confrontation anyway if he can.
I don't want to sound like the nagging girlfriend but I'm crying out for advice and someone to listen who understands I suffer from severe anxiety and depression so I need a little TLC sometimes aswell as he does I always text him back asap, always ready to jump when I'm needed and I feel very little back, he's very immature and it makes it difficult to get the point across. I enjoy gaming for a few hours a week but not 6-10 hours each day! We both love each other and want it to work please some advice would be appreciated, I want this to get sorted before it gets worse I hate holding things in. Again Thank you x
I've been with my (non medicated) ADHD partner for one year now, I've read alot about the condition and how it affects peoples relationships and even though I'm trying my best I'm beginning to struggle with knowing where the '' line is crossed''. We all know the story of falling in love you can't get enough of each other etc etc put ADHD in the mix it's magnetised 100 times over! He couldn't get enough of me I've never felt love or feeling so special like that before. Over the months his hyperfocus went away from me and onto other things which I already knew from sites like this and I dealt with it, but the past few months have been getting worse and worse.
We don't live together yet (have plans to this year) he stays over my place for a night or two weekly I admit I spoiled him the first few months I always do the cooking/cleaning and he doesn't even offer to help which is all that would make the difference for feeling cared for he just plays on his phone or the xbox (which I have moved out of the bedroom). We have rules like no phone while eating at the table that's when we talk etc etc. When he leaves however it all changes, he's obsessed with xbox and online gaming (I have no issue with him playing aslong as his real and virtual life is balanced) but it isn't. He used to text me such nice things all the time now he hardly says a word to me. If we text I wait hours and sometime up to the next day to hear from him!. He'll play online for hours with his friends and even when we're both online it's me who makes the first move (which I've now stopped) again I wait hours for not even a sentence. I'm beginning to feel so unloved and have MUG written over me. I've never shouted at him I wait until I'm calm and tell him and say so what can we do to improve it I try my best to keep positive when resolving issues. I'm forgotten when he's at his place it's like I don't even matter never invites me round even when he's home not doing anything the games come before me coming over. He buys very expensive things for gaming, when I try and tell him we need to be saving up etc. He makes no effort to say morning or goodnight like he used to with me, I feel like I'm the thing he see's once and week and sleeps with then goes away to live his ''teenage life'' we're both 22!! when I bring issues up he hates it, avoids confrontation anyway if he can.
I don't want to sound like the nagging girlfriend but I'm crying out for advice and someone to listen who understands I suffer from severe anxiety and depression so I need a little TLC sometimes aswell as he does I always text him back asap, always ready to jump when I'm needed and I feel very little back, he's very immature and it makes it difficult to get the point across. I enjoy gaming for a few hours a week but not 6-10 hours each day! We both love each other and want it to work please some advice would be appreciated, I want this to get sorted before it gets worse I hate holding things in. Again Thank you x