Post by criss on Mar 19, 2015 8:17:28 GMT
Hello! I have a few doubts about my boyfriend if he has ADHD or is only foolish and childish and I would please like you to help me.
I live with my him and we have been living together for about 7 months and I have started observing things.
First of all he can not focus on a task from start to end. He works in IT and many times when he writes code he switches from one website to another (websites unrelated to what he is doing; like news, articles whatever). A few days ago he was given a test by a company which he had to complete that day and I sat next to him and saw that he interrupted the test making more than 3 times with other meaningless things like arranging papers on the table, opening a new tab, looking at his legs.
Second of all when he talks and we pass by a building or whatever he finds interesting he suddenly stops, changes the subject and then comes back to the first one. This can also be seen when he talks and looks at me and makes comments about my facial expression all of a sudden in the middle of the talk.
Another thing is that usually when he eats he is looking at his phone, playing a game, doing something most of the time, also when we sit on the bus. Let's not forget that he plays a lot of video games and if I am away I usually have to wait a long time for him to answer to my texts cause he is always doing something.
I had a few problems also when I talked to him on the phone, he was playing his video games and not even concentrating on what I was saying (sometimes it was urgent). I honestly don't trust that he will be there when I would need him.
Face to face he talks a lot and when he explains something (even if it's rather simple) tends to not go straight to the point but describes a lot of insignificant details.
He has a good job, earns very well but spends more time than others at work (I am thinking maybe he doesn't complete his tasks in time?!).
He has also told me that one of his coworker observed the fact that he can't concentrate on doing one task at a time.
Also when I sometimes talk to him about my feelings or the fact that I am bothered by something he tends to miss the deeper meaning of things and misses details, only focusing on what he believes is ok, or doesn't want to understand more than what he believes even if I sometimes try to explain it to him. This makes me think he is kind of shallow and lacks attention to detail, and also when we have a fight he refuses to talk about it and just completely shuts down or ignores me by doing something else.
Another thing would be that he sometimes is a bit immature, does not know when to stop (for example if we are playing and he tends to frisk me he doesn't realise the severeness of his strenght and hurts me, or he pokes me and I tell him to stop he has to do it once more and not stop when I tell him I get annoyed). Also he can sometimes be very straight forward, I had a lot of thoughts about when I go out with him with people that he might say something hurtful to someone or make a stupid joke about someone that they can misinterpret.
My question is: is this ADHD? And if so to what extent is it and what can I do to help?
I also forgot to mention that he is sometimes very slow and tends to always be late.
Thank you!
I live with my him and we have been living together for about 7 months and I have started observing things.
First of all he can not focus on a task from start to end. He works in IT and many times when he writes code he switches from one website to another (websites unrelated to what he is doing; like news, articles whatever). A few days ago he was given a test by a company which he had to complete that day and I sat next to him and saw that he interrupted the test making more than 3 times with other meaningless things like arranging papers on the table, opening a new tab, looking at his legs.
Second of all when he talks and we pass by a building or whatever he finds interesting he suddenly stops, changes the subject and then comes back to the first one. This can also be seen when he talks and looks at me and makes comments about my facial expression all of a sudden in the middle of the talk.
Another thing is that usually when he eats he is looking at his phone, playing a game, doing something most of the time, also when we sit on the bus. Let's not forget that he plays a lot of video games and if I am away I usually have to wait a long time for him to answer to my texts cause he is always doing something.
I had a few problems also when I talked to him on the phone, he was playing his video games and not even concentrating on what I was saying (sometimes it was urgent). I honestly don't trust that he will be there when I would need him.
Face to face he talks a lot and when he explains something (even if it's rather simple) tends to not go straight to the point but describes a lot of insignificant details.
He has a good job, earns very well but spends more time than others at work (I am thinking maybe he doesn't complete his tasks in time?!).
He has also told me that one of his coworker observed the fact that he can't concentrate on doing one task at a time.
Also when I sometimes talk to him about my feelings or the fact that I am bothered by something he tends to miss the deeper meaning of things and misses details, only focusing on what he believes is ok, or doesn't want to understand more than what he believes even if I sometimes try to explain it to him. This makes me think he is kind of shallow and lacks attention to detail, and also when we have a fight he refuses to talk about it and just completely shuts down or ignores me by doing something else.
Another thing would be that he sometimes is a bit immature, does not know when to stop (for example if we are playing and he tends to frisk me he doesn't realise the severeness of his strenght and hurts me, or he pokes me and I tell him to stop he has to do it once more and not stop when I tell him I get annoyed). Also he can sometimes be very straight forward, I had a lot of thoughts about when I go out with him with people that he might say something hurtful to someone or make a stupid joke about someone that they can misinterpret.
My question is: is this ADHD? And if so to what extent is it and what can I do to help?
I also forgot to mention that he is sometimes very slow and tends to always be late.
Thank you!