apreon
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Post by apreon on May 12, 2015 8:42:50 GMT
Here comes a trust thread. So... It's a well known fact among the informed that people with ADD are prone to addictive personalities. This is something I totally get, however I think it is purely psychological. Or I believe that my Brain tricks my conscious mind into thinking it's all in the head to make it easier for the sub-conscious to get what it wants. For example, Cigarettes; I love smoking. No other way to put it. I enjoy the action, I enjoy the social aspect. If it were not for smoking, I would not have met a handful of great people. I'm overall quite shy and without a reason to plow into a group of people, I'd rather not. I don't try to pretend that there is no physical dependencies, however I genuinely believe that I could quit if I wanted to. But because I don't have the desire to, then I wouldn't be able too. I personally don't consider that addiction, even if it is regular and consistent. I don't get into situations (often) where I feel that I need a cigarette in the usual sense. Yeah, sometimes it helps. But I don't think I rely on it. Anyone with any professional experience on addiction may be able to tell me I am currently in Denial. But moving on, Drug Use. (Not just illegal substances). But I understand that is generally what I am asking about. Obviously our brains are wired somewhat different. And as such, different drugs may have different affects on ADHDer's as a result of that. I must stress that the last thing I want to do; is encourage the use of illicit substances. But whatever way you look at it, the Symptom of risk taking, addiction, lack of consideration for consequences, etc it's all there. I've done it, it's logical to assume some of you have too. How has it affected you? How was your experience with a particular substance. Do you use it regularly; do you feel you are in control of that use? Do you have any advice for people like myself, who genuinely are starting to struggle with some of the symptoms of ADHD and have considered investigating "alternatives" to alleviate these pressures? Please do your best to avoid judgement/critisism. If you don't agree with an action, please attempt to make your opinions understood well before saying; "Don't do that you fool!". I look forward to this discussion as it's very relevant to my life at the moment.
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apreon
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Post by apreon on May 12, 2015 9:36:13 GMT
Hello all, I realise that I am asking a lot from you, without giving up anything about myself. While that's true in terms of the first post of this thread. It's not true of my actions. I had a lot to say, and I think this topic will be interesting. As such, I didn't want to kill this thread before it got started with a great long post. If you want to see my in depth response to this thread; Please see the following thread. aadduk.proboards.com/thread/9118/adhd?page=1&scrollTo=89074Thanks Guys and Gals.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2015 12:14:33 GMT
I have a history of recreational drug use + heavyish social drinking which eventually turned into alcoholism (when I moved in with my bipolar girlfriend).
The alcoholism was being tackled, with slow improvement, till I went on meds and then I knew the booze would be licked pretty quickly.
I still tend to like a drinky but I wouldn't describe myself as alcoholic anymore and I can't remember my last drug use (it mainly went because the booze took centre stage).
Classic self medication with underlying low impulse control/self esteem.
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apreon
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Post by apreon on May 12, 2015 13:00:49 GMT
Sounds like me mate. The drugs make me feel better when I take them. Both physically, but also emotionally/mentally. Yeah, of course theres the come down as they wear off. But I think the only time you can't cope with that is when you don't expect it to happen.
Drinking, thankfully; is something I've never had any interest in.
When I drink, I drink to get drunk. Which is on occasion a handful of times yearly.
But there is always the underlying fear. Especially with things like Cocaine. I mean how do you tell the difference between; This is good and I like it because it helps. And' I like it, but when I don't have it, things are worse.
Know what I mean?
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ladybug
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Post by ladybug on May 12, 2015 13:44:25 GMT
Hmmm,
Interesting. I 'liked' @planetdave 's post because it rang a lot of bells for me! I smoked weed almost every day for a very long time, drank a lot (not every day but when I did I really went for it) and regularly took other drugs. This is all before I was diagnosed with ADHD so looking back it was as dave said self medicating/low self esteem/no impulse control. Basically it was the only way I could switch my brain off and just 'be'.
I realised it all had to stop about 3 years ago and am now totally sober/abstinent. I go to AA. It helps a lot, in fact I only figured out about the ADHD when I was sober - AA helped with a lot of stuff but I realised that some things (all ADHD symptoms!) were not getting better at all.
People are free to do whatever they like and if anyone is able to go out and get drunk or do drugs occasionally and its fun and doesn't negatively impact on their life then fair enough. I think alarm bells need to ring when you feel you 'need' it for whatever reason. I know now that I can't do any of that stuff as I really can't control it and will instantly want more!
Quite interesting that 12 step recovery models have been mentioned in 2 ADHD books I've read recently.....
As far as smoking weed goes, if it's a daily thing then it may be worth thinking about. It definitely caused me to feel depressed and low and tired...
x
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apreon
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Post by apreon on May 12, 2015 14:40:29 GMT
There is a possibility of that. With the Weed I mean. It's not a new thing as such, but the increased regularity is I suppose. However the weed itself is not a desire thing. I have it when I have nothing else to do because I enjoy it (Coupled with Smoking). Always feel the need to be doing something.
And I certainly at this stage don't feel like other drugs are a problem as such.
For example, I have certain amounts of certain substances at home.
I know if I take them, I'm not going to work the next day. So I have the restraint, etc to wait until a weekend, or an occasion that justifies them.
It's just are they causing me to believe I have a symptom of; e.g. Dopamine Deficient Depression. Or is the chance there that I have a problem in addition to ADHD?
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Post by contrarymary on May 12, 2015 20:01:43 GMT
i thought that everyone with adhd had problems with impulsive behaviour? I know i do. And my brother is a typical (undiagnosed) ADHD who has done the whole expelled/law-breaking/dopehead/computer techy journey. he self-medicates with considerable amounts of daily weed, & heavy alcohol use except on "school nights". nowadays i don't take drugs or drink or smoke. i think i've always been too much of a law-abider -possible rebound from chaotic family life - to take drugs. I did self-medicate with nicotine (YES, it makes a difference, and yes, i thought i could stop any time!!!) for years & years; gave up 2.5 years ago (Go Me!). Best Decision I Ever Made, bar none, wish I'd done it years ago. v hard, but not as hard as coming off (prescribed) ultra high dose benzos, which was an absolute f-ing mare beyond anything i can describe. i went through a stage of drinking daily in my mid 20s, maybe 2 or 3 glasses of wine most days. realised i'd got into the habit of wanting to drink daily so stopped completely for a while and then just drank socially a couple of times a week. I tend to struggle stopping at one drink - once i have one it lets down the drawbridge. But I hate feeling drunk which is like a built-in self-protection mechanism. And there's alcoholism in my family gene pool so i've always been aware. Over the last ten years - being ill with neuro stuff, detoxing benzos, stopping smoking - my body gradually came to regard alcohol as a poison - first spirits, then wine. Nowadays i feel really weird when i drink, so i generally don't. i still love the odd beer, port etc but probably had 2 or 3 drinks so far this year. which old me thinks is really, really weird. i still find myself missing nicotine. it definitely acted as a stimulant on my poor brain, which is still rather lost without it. nowadays i use sugar (boo hiss) or peppermint, which sounds lame but is amazing - a good whiff of peppermint oil and i'm off! BTW i didnt fill in the poll bit - too confusing with all the No...&... which doesn't make sense to my poor brain. perhaps change to something easy to understand, eg "Yes x / But No y" "No x and No y" etc?
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on May 12, 2015 23:55:09 GMT
I so wanna go into one right now with history and what I've done, howit's etc affected my life but so time poor due to 3 young kids(who I suspect I have cursed with my adhd, but that's for another time). And new job and general inability to organise properly.
Anyway the voting buttons with different option - nice touch that!
Bottom line is if it wasn't for the fact a did recreational drugs, speed in particular I would never have come to know I have adhd! As I couldn't work out why with a particular dose I was calm, not anxious not scatter brained far more eloquent etc so started researching what in the drug community is called 'legal speed' and started reading the symptoms for what MP, Adderall etc helped with! Then the penny dropped big time when nearly every symptoms described, was describing me!
I've got shed loads to say but little time to say it. So will lave it for another time and hopefully manage to read through everyone Account's and how they've been affected and are still affected.
So will be back soonish I hope.
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Post by Bee on May 13, 2015 11:06:04 GMT
Nope.
I've thought about it from time to time, as much as anything I just want to know what all the fuss is about!
But I've got a few reasons for why I haven't tried anything.
First, I never really mixed in the kind of circles where drugs were used.. I've got no friends or contacts that I could reliably say 'hey I'd like to try some of this...' And although I've been offered some on the street I wouldn't take anything from someone I didn't trust with my bloody life!
I'm also concerned about addiction. Just in case.
And finally, a friend of mine took something when she was about 15, and she got a voice in her head that just kept telling her to cut herself. So she did. All up her left arm. She's got those scars for the rest of her life.
That's not my idea of a good time!!
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oldwolf
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Apocalyptically Arrogant - Monumentally Egotistical.
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Post by oldwolf on May 14, 2015 12:28:45 GMT
I have never touched any form of narcotic in my life and i rarley drink alcohol. The most i do is smoke and even thats only because its a familiar habit, not because i have to due to nicotine addiciton.
I suppose i can list caffeine in this though, i tend to get very cranky if i dont have coffee for any length of time.
EDIT: Just to add; It isn't like i have never been exposed to them, i used to be friends with a couple of people who sold/used various forms of narcotics, back when i lived in Leeds, i used to hang out with a large group of people, many of which did regularily use them. It was just never something i wanted to do, not even peer pressure or 'wanting to fit in' swayed me to try them. It did with smoking, just not narcotics.
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Post by Babble on May 18, 2015 9:53:34 GMT
Not me either - no drugs etc, not medicated. I'll admit I've thought about it - like Bee mostly just curiosity. But I worry about addiction. I drank quite a bit at uni (which is fairly typical, I know) when I was mentally quite a mess. I was in quite serious danger of getting addicted - I eventually realised I was using alcohol as a social crutch. Using it to make myself less self-conscious and anxious etc. Basically my self-worth was at rock bottom, I stopped being able to say 'No' because to me then (irrationally, I know) other peoples' happiness was more important than my own. Shit happened (alcohol was a factor), I somehow dipped below rock bottom, and it gave me the kick I needed to vow to never let myself get into that position again. I've never drunk so much since, and I've gotten really good at saying 'No', so all's well etc etc etc But I avoid anything now that I feel I might be using as a 'crutch', or anything with addictive properties, because I don't want to risk it. Hence why I really dislike the idea of being reliant on meds to function :/
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Post by chaoticwitch on May 25, 2015 17:45:51 GMT
I took speed for quite a long time, on and off to start with as a teenager but then daily by the time I was 30. It was only after coming off the drugs that I was diagnosed with ADHD and it did make perfect sense to me. I had always felt much more able to cope with day to day life, I didn't feel wired like a lot of my friends, I was focused and it made sense to me.
Because of this addiction I was sceptical of the ADHD diagnosis because I questioned whether the addict inside me was just going along with the whole thing to get stimulants on prescription. I stopped taking the Concerta and I've got to say it has become harder and harder to focus on daily life.
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Post by tessaract on Jun 10, 2015 22:47:53 GMT
OK, been meaning to go back to this thread and finally found it tonight. This really is a trust thread to say the least because I do not want to be judged. Yes I smoke weed, take ectasy and speed. I feel quite vulnerable saying this but I feel its maybe nescessary, full disclosure and all that. I take ectasy maybe once every 6 months. I smoke weed when I can afford it. I take speed if its put in front of me.
When I went to my extra assessment with the national health people as opposed to the private appointment I lied. I said I used to smoke weed in my 20's. Its a moral dilemma because the instant judgement is hard for me to deal with. There we are! Out!
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Post by chaoticwitch on Jun 11, 2015 14:52:27 GMT
I have had two experiences of sharing this kind of information with healthcare professionals they were at opposite ends of the scale.
One was very judgemental and I was left feeling blamed and bad. But this wasn't a mental healthcare worker.
It took a long time before I shared my current and past drug history with anyone like that.
The second time I shared this info was with a mental healthcare worker after hearing the importance of being open and honest with this stuff. That time I felt very supported and understood and it has actually helped me understand a lot about my addictive, impulsive personality.
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Post by tessaract on Jun 16, 2015 1:14:24 GMT
As a teenager, running away from home and getting kicked out and going into foster care for a little while when I was 17, I was assigned a social worker. I was asked if I took drugs then and I said I had taken mushrooms in the past.
I guess I have a distinct lake of trust when it comes to people in the social services like health workers, social workers etc, plus I have just met this psychiatrist once and I do not trust her, of course if this person turns out to be an understanding, good person then I will be more truthful, but until then, they are a stranger and I think I've divulged enough already.
Of course I think people with ADD will be more likely to take risks and not think about consequences. The need to self medicate is very strong with me, with weed but I just cant afford it, possibly its quite luckily I cant afford it. I love being stoned.
I am of the opinion that taking drugs is a symptom of so many things and it is possible to take them recreationally and for them to not control your life and I think it is possible to still be a fuctioning, balanced individual who happens to take something every now and again. I know a lot of them, successful, creative, happy people with their own businesses etc.
The only thing where I would say its different is speed, heroine, crack etc, thats scary stuff that I have and will never touch. I've never become hopelessly addicted to anything, except cigarettes and I still am.
I dont smoke weed on a regular basis because it is so expensive but I think there is nothing wrong with it when it is treated with respect, the same way a person will have a couple of pints in the pub.
Alcohol, the legal drug is the most dangerous and addictive and most readily available of them all.
I have become more aware of my need for extra stimulation though, I find myself not being happy with, a cup of tea, nice food and a fag! I want more!! Just started thinking about it today.
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Post by chaoticwitch on Jun 17, 2015 15:41:27 GMT
Alcohol, the legal drug is the most dangerous and addictive and most readily available of them all. I have heard it said more than once, that if Alcohol was invented now, it would be made illegal instantly because it's so hazardous to our health.
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Post by mypineappledream on Jun 22, 2015 13:38:17 GMT
when I was 8 I was bullied at the after schools program so I would lie about my dad's work hours and bike home alone. I would spend my afternoons watching daytime television (like dr. phil, oprah and documentaries)and from them I came to the conclusion that all these people with addictions and social issues as adults described a childhood that sounded exactly like mine. They were alone and bullied with neglective and/or violent adults around. I realize that their now was my future unless I actively made choices that steered me in a different direction. So I made a promise to myself to never end up there and for that reason I've never tried alcohol, drugs or tobacco.
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billywhizz
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Post by billywhizz on Jun 25, 2015 1:42:23 GMT
"So I made a promise to myself to never end up there and for that reason I've never tried alcohol, drugs or tobacco." Well as a user of all three not all of us end up like that. I used to have my own company, staff, offices, everyfink, and am in the process of starting up the next venture. I do personally think alcohol is the worst of the three. the only chance of violence from a smoker is if you take their last fag when the cannot get anymore, and a stoner is only going to ask you to get them munchies. As for ethanol, pop down A&E on a Friday and Saturday to see how wonderful that drug is. Plus, all the cool kids smoke
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billywhizz
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Post by billywhizz on Jun 25, 2015 1:51:14 GMT
"Yes I smoke weed, take ecstasy and speed." you are not alone, and not judged by me, but thanked for speak up and saying. Ecstasy is linked as an anti depressant for people on the spectrum. Speed is what we are given if we have ADD And weed is what makes life worth living Expect since being on Pregabalin I now no longer have a need to smoke it, but enjoy it for relaxing. I used to smoke between 1.5 and 2 ounces a month. Now I can go days without it, but if I go too long that too causes a problem. What I learned from my horror of being on SSRIs for a month was that both of them turn off a part of my brain that gives me a break from myself. However, as there are two main active ingredients in weed, I have to be careful. Stuff that is THC based causes me anxiety, and so I need to get stuff that is more CBD based, the other half that actually reduces anxiety. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabidiol
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Post by tessaract on Jun 25, 2015 3:03:46 GMT
Just started looking at ADHD and self medication with CBD. I read an article today about a family with a 9 year old son that live in a certain state in the USA who is autistic. Ater taking the CBD for two days he spoke for the first time in is life! Please remember folks reading this that CBD is the part of the plant that DOES NOT contain any psychoactive effect. It does not in any stretch of the imagination get the child high. Please look it up before freaking out. National geographic just did a video series about parents who are medicating their children with CBD. These kids had extreme seizures and were in a vegetative state, after the CBD they were able to function, walk and are free from seizures or are massively reduced. One kid was getting 700 seizures a day! Look it up. We ADHDers are well known to self-medicate with weed as well as other drugs. I think, and so do many others, that there is a reason why. Once again it is the dopamine receptors. By the way billywhizzHash has a much better balance of CBD and THC and the majority of issues stem from the new stronger strains of skunk but I guess you probably already know that, thanks for speaking up too, I was starting to feel like a proper deviant.
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Post by chaoticwitch on Jun 25, 2015 8:11:07 GMT
deviant is a word I've heard a lot in my life. I get fed up with hearing it from people who sit around drinking alcohol all the time looking and judging me because I smoke a bit of weed.
I have always been interested in the ways that Marijuana can help people with all sorts of medical problems and I read the story about a kid having loads of seizures and how much it changed that child's life. I also have a client with Parkinsons disease and he is very keen to try it as the amount of medication he is on is a joke and he still doesn't feel right.
When I was diagnosed with ADHD it made sense of my 24 years of amphetamine use and how it seemed to affect me differently to how it affected others.
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billywhizz
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Post by billywhizz on Jun 29, 2015 0:32:27 GMT
Nope, I didn't know that, however taste and sensation is much better for me when its green and not brown Also not into the newer ones, been using the same guy for over 20 years as its garden fresh. I have spent years being told by people that my sleeping problem comes from drinking too much coke. So I cut it out later on at night, only to sleep worse. Meh, what do Norms know!
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danielle
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Post by danielle on Dec 18, 2015 18:30:18 GMT
I'm not (yet) diagnosed, but...
I'm not a regular user of illegal substances, but this year I had my first experience with Ecstasy, did absolutely nothing for me the first time I took it, made me vomit (although it's debatable whether that could have been caused by mixing my drinks), then I was really low for a few days. Also had my first experience with cocaine which basically just made me feel like I was really focussed, didn't make me any more physically active than I'd normally be on a night out. I hadn't been drinking that night, but the first sign I'd took it was throwing up - and then nothing. No real come down to speak of. I've had four experiences (in seven years) with weed, but I'm not a big fan. I enjoy edibles more than smoking it, the best ones I had were these coconut biscuits from Amsterdam.
My mum has (diagnosed) ADHD (combined type) and doesn't really have a reaction to E or cocaine.
I'm a regular user of that old favourite caffeine. I've just switched my coffee type and I think I'll be switching back or cutting it out altogether because I don't really like the taste of instant any longer, and these one-cup filter coffees are giving me such highs I was convinced I was in the midst of a new hypomanic episode yesterday. I like a can of coke once or twice a week too.
I took mirtazapine, given to me by a trusted family member, once after hardly sleeping for three nights, but never again - felt like a zombie for two days afterwards. That's the only time I've ever used a substance to control my symptoms - I was v. anxious about a benefits review. I don't claim them anymore and I've not really had a sleepless night since; although I do have trouble maintaining sleep for more than three hours at a time, I usually always get at least six hours before I can't sleep any longer.
I'm a social tobacco smoker, but I haven't had any since August. I haven't had alcohol since September. I like it, but it's not high on my list of favourite drinks, and I tend to binge when I do drink, so I try to avoid it as much as possible.
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aldedah
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Post by aldedah on Jan 1, 2016 3:23:55 GMT
The first time I took E it made me realise how depressed I had been and that it was possible to feel pure joy.
I've never been addicted to it. It's a shame they haven't allowed further research into some illicit drugs as I've found some things have worked better than prescription meds.
Some ADHD drugs are basically illicit anyway, but there are others out there I think could be a lot more helpful than ones on the market today. Especially if available in a low dose so you enjoy the benefits without being off your face, or for temporary use to help through difficult times.
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davem
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Post by davem on Jan 22, 2016 15:25:13 GMT
As I've intimated elsewhere, I've had problems with substance abuse in the past. My primary drug of abuse was alcohol but I had also abused significant amounts of cocaine, MDMA, marijuana, and occasionally amphetamine. In 2002, I started drinking every day to try and self-medicate horrific anxiety that rendered me housebound. I was dried out in a clinic in August 2002, then again in hospital in OCT 2002, and then I was finally dried out in DEC 2002. I took my last illegal drugs the day before I went into the first dry out in August 2002 and I took my last alcohol in December 2002. MDMA isn't really that addictive. I have taken loads of it but the degree of tolerance that occurs to its euphoric properties means most people don't really get addicted to it. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19836170
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Post by tessaract on Jan 22, 2016 16:40:05 GMT
Since I've started taking my medication on a regular basis Ritalin LA 40mg/day. There has been a vast difference in how I feel about weed. Before the meds I would smoke weed and hash almost every day. As it is quite expensive in Ireland there would also be times where I would not have a smoke in weeks to a couple of months but that was purely down to not having the money to spend.
At times I would have spent the money anyway even though it meant I was going to be short at the end of the week to buy nescessities and would not be able to go out and socialize with friends due to not have two pennys to rub together - but I had some weed.
There were days when after a long stint of not having anything to smoke I would then get some and I would literally wake up in the morning and I would suddenly realise that I had some weed and I would do a little - yay I have smoke!
During times when I didnt have any smoke I would proclaim how much I would love a smoke, how I needed a smoke and wishing I had some weed.
When I did have smoke I would have a small rollie sized joint first thing in the morning and would smoke throughout the day, tiny amounts, usually around 5 pinners a day.
After taking the meds I found myself proclaiming that I would love some smoke. When I suddenly realised that I had just said it out of habit and that I really didnt actually want it that badly. I had a friend asking me if she knew where I could get some and I told her sorry I didnt know anyone but if she finds any to let me know as I would love some too.
Anyway, she got some and very kindly offered to give me a little bit so she called up and gave it to me.
To my surprise I didnt get the same comfort and happiness I once got whenever I had my security blanket of a smoke supply.
On a side note, weed did not make me unmotivated, it actually made me motivated, I got up, did things I needed to do but after an hour the effect wore off. I found that weed helped me to focus, it cleared my mind and helped be to be on the ball so to speak.
After all the research that has gone into the properties of THC and how it affects the dopamine receptors I came to the realization that the meds have now replaced my need/want/cravings for weed - COMPLETELY!!!!! The meds have fixed my dopamine receptors.
I dont need it anymore, I dont crave it anymore and the effect of those few joints that my friend shared with me did not have the same effect as before.
So now I understand that medicating a person with ADHD does in fact reduce the propensity to use and abuse drugs. There is lots of research and it has been proven that meds reduce the likelyhood of self medicating!
WOW!!!
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