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Post by vagueandrandom on May 11, 2016 18:00:35 GMT
Why do Drs not like labels contrarymary ? eds can affect your digestion, heart, skin and lots of other things . . .yes, there's only limited help, but, as we know. .knowledge is power!! my new physio said that it's important to have my dx in my notes because of the related issues, which may be important in the future. HMSA for more info. . . .it's also eds awareness month!
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Post by marionk on May 11, 2016 20:27:12 GMT
Why do Drs not like labels contrarymary ? eds can affect your digestion, heart, skin and lots of other things . . .yes, there's only limited help, but, as we know. .knowledge is power!! Istr there was a thing about stigmatisation some years ago and they got told not to 'label' people. There is still a strong anti-'labelling' feeling, so I don't see that attitude changing any time soon. Also, if they don't label you as anything, they can't get it wrong! I think there is sometimes genuine uncertainty too.
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Post by Mouse on May 12, 2016 4:34:30 GMT
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 12, 2016 9:24:22 GMT
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Post by Mouse on May 12, 2016 10:00:04 GMT
Hells bells...the last thing I need is less energy LOL... I am not a high energy person otherwise I'd possibly be slimmish.
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 20, 2016 16:44:09 GMT
Hmm. . second session with the new counsellor. . . She's OK. . a bit 'touchy-feely' (she gave me a hug) and a bit "you're amazing! do you realise how hard you work at everything NTs take for granted?" (duh. . YES) She was surprised at how self-aware I am. . . I shouldn't be so hard on her. . she's so much better than the last one. . She has some understanding of the difficulties of ADHD. . which is a start. . She wants me to think about why I don't like closed doors. . . and to make a list of positives and negatives. . . ASIDE: my mum and stepdad are due any minute and I didn't get the cleaning finished. . kitchen and bathroom are OK. . sitting room not too bad. . . Spare room has bed made. . BUT was full of stuff, which I had to move into the bedroom, which I've spent the last week organising and had managed to clear the floor yesterday. . .clear space for new junk The dining room's still filthy and full of boxes, papers, general random stuff that I don't know quite what to do with. . . Can't start anything new now because I don't want to be in the middle of something when they arrive. . Exhibition opening followed by dinner at the posh sit-in fish and chip shop. . .so posh, it does cocktails and prosecco by the glass!
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Post by Mouse on May 20, 2016 18:18:10 GMT
House less than perfect puts me on edge when family visit...all I see is the stuff I'd rather they didn't see. I think mum is the same. She liked it all perfect when grandmother was due to visit! Do you think you'll finish the organising once your parents have gone?
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Post by marionk on May 21, 2016 8:47:47 GMT
Cleaning? Bed made? kitchen and bathroom not too bad? errrm . . . /me edges slowly towards the door The dining room's still filthy and full of boxes, papers, general random stuff that I don't know quite what to do with. . . Ok, I can identify with that! tbh I don't blame the ADHD for most of it, but even before things went pear shaped, I was never very organised. So, yeah, you are pretty amazing!
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 22, 2016 20:42:16 GMT
Parental visit successful After they left, I popped out to the nearby small supermarket. . . lost in La la land. . wondering if I should get a loaf or rolls. . . an assistant came up behind me and politely said 'excuse me' to get by. . I jumped out of my skin and squealed!!!! loudly. . .I don't know who was more embarrassed!!. . or who apologised more. . . Back to normal then. . .
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Post by contrarymary on May 22, 2016 20:44:30 GMT
"Parental visit successful"
woop woop
bottle that feeling
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 28, 2016 19:30:27 GMT
I haven't written here for a while. . .
So last week I had a few very hyperactive happy days with very little sleep. . which isn't physically and mentally sustainable. .
and I came down with a big thump last night. . .probably due to unconscious anxiety because I volunteered to work
on a local festival today. . I thought I'd meet new people. . I ended up following and helping with crossing the road etc
for a couple of mute performers wearing full head masks. . I'm freaked out by people in full head masks. . .
then I spent 2 hours sitting on a wall in a car park guarding an artwork. . so not much socialising. .
I found the whole thing intimidating and felt a real outsider. . and had to hold back from crying and running away.
When I volunteered they said that there would be drinks afterwards, but no-one invited me, so I came home.
The whole thing was supposed to boost my confidence, but it did the opposite.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do to make friends here. . it's so much harder than I thought.
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Post by marionk on May 29, 2016 14:20:00 GMT
Over the years, I've found that following my interests has been by far the best way of making friends.
Not only does having an interest in common provide something to talk about, and potentially something to do together, but I find that people with similar interests have a similar attitude to life as well.
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Post by contrarymary on May 29, 2016 22:04:09 GMT
hey vagueandrandom. sorry the festival was so pants i have to say, i'm still pretty much in awe of your having sold up and moved to a whole new place. it's a really amazing, brave thing to have done. and done successfully. including house sale/purchase! most people only do that when there's a major motivating"hook" that pulls them - studying, job, relationship, family, major leisure-time/voluntary work/sporting interest. most of those hooks come with possible networks of people attached - other students, work colleagues, parents of school-aged children, family members' networks, band members etc. even with all of the above hooks & networks, it still takes time to settle into a new area and build up activities, routines, acquaintances and friends. many single people i know really struggle, and take time to build things up - a couple of colleagues from work, but mostly building up friendships through activities they enjoy -studying at a local evening class, joining a gym /exercise /dance class /choir, doing some regular voluntary work etc. often it's one or two first friends who can help to break open an area. finding people you have stuff in common with, and would actually like to spend time with. but it's not easy, esp once you're past the stage where everyone is new at the same time (eg uni), and when most people stay put. some of my friends who've moved back to areas they grew up in have also found it hard, everyone else has moved away or has their own lives and routines, and it seems to take longer than they'd expected to rebuild friendships/make new ones. all of which is to reassure you that it's not just you. and i'm still in awe of what you've done and are doing. and it will get easier. start with a once-a-week thing and build? routines can be our friends is there an adhd support group or other similar place where neurodiverse and other helpful & interesting people are more likely to hang? and now back to my hermitage xx
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 29, 2016 22:36:14 GMT
Thanks. contrarymary. I knew it would be hard. . but didn't really have friends in London. . didn't realise the comfortable places I had to hang out in . . apart from the lack of friends and a job, it's really nice here. . My new counsellor suggested a social group for high functioning ASD (and related disorders) and I've sent off an application to join. The nearest ADHD group is an hour's drive away. . I've been once. . There's a woman I talk to at Pilates, but I'm not really a group person. . I know it will take time and I keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone. . At the moment, I'd settle for someone to have an occasional coffee and a chat with I must say that I value you and other people on here as friends, even if we've never met. The couple of you that I have met (and you know who you are) are amazing! Such a shame that there's no one living any closer. . I'll certainly drop you a line when I visit London. . it would be lovely to meet
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Post by clubby on Jun 1, 2016 13:50:29 GMT
I know how you feel vagueandrandom. I had a similar experience last Friday when I went to a local weaving workshop open night. There was supposed to be demos but nothing happened and the folk who all seemed to be pals small talked the evening away. I felt like such a raspberry and was really upset by my first social venture into the community.
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Post by contrarymary on Jun 2, 2016 7:37:52 GMT
yay vagueandrandom - it'd be fab to meet up. when are you next coming up? i'm uncharacteristically making plans to take a break in august this year. no idea what i'll do or where i'll go, being poor and struggling with energy and stuff, but if i don't take a break and get some time out i'll get exhausted and it'll be autumn and lo! everyone else will have had a break and come back refreshed, and i find myself getting pretty peevish. i think it's called pacing. and holiday. i remember them. somehow you don't necessarily do them if you're not working. i think life's harder all round if you're single, not working in a regular job and neurodiverse. normal stuff is either tedious or impossible, or perhaps both.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Jun 2, 2016 13:27:53 GMT
Hi contrarymary . . My business partner wants to talk over some some ideas and visit some London venues, so I've said I'll visit towards the end of the month. . .don't know when though. . seem to be getting myself booked up with physio, counselling, Remploy. . and get to see the prescribing Psych next week, so possible titration appointments. . but I'll let you know
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Post by marionk on Jun 2, 2016 20:05:04 GMT
I know how you feel vagueandrandom . I had a similar experience last Friday when I went to a local weaving workshop open night. There was supposed to be demos but nothing happened and the folk who all seemed to be pals small talked the evening away. I felt like such a raspberry and was really upset by my first social venture into the community. That was a very poor show, to advertise as a workshop then not do anything! And why bother at all if they didn't want to encourage potential new members? :S Are they WSD guild affiliated?
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Post by clubby on Jun 3, 2016 18:32:24 GMT
Hi marionkIt was an open studio event. 100 crafts people across the region were showcasing their work in their own studios. It was advertised as a demonstration but turned into a social gathering. I was really disappointed because as usual I entered with too much enthusiasm and the weaver was obviously really fed up with her craft and was totally unengaging about it. I wonder if it is an adhd thing to dive in with over the top enthusiasm and hit a brick wall of bored people. If so I am guilty as charged. I was so excited, expectations too high as usual.
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Post by contrarymary on Jun 3, 2016 20:46:50 GMT
me too clubby xx either enthused and raring to go, or switched off and unable to rev up don't seem to be able to do things the way that neurotypicals do, or understand how/why they do em
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Post by vagueandrandom on Jun 9, 2016 11:18:39 GMT
I haven't written here for a while. . .I was going to wait until tomorrow, after I've seen 'the psych who can prescribe ADHD meds' at my local Secondary MH service. . but I'm waiting in for a delivery, which means that I'm bored and can't start anything in case I get interrupted. . yes, I know I can. . but. . . I went to my nearest ADHD support group again on Tuesday night . . nearest. . .an hour and 20 minute drive. . and it was fantastic! 5 ADHDers in a room. . 2 with dx ASD and another 2 with a high amount of ASD traits and 3 of us Hyperactive types who are unmedicated!!! Non stop chatter and talking over and interrupting and several conversations going on at once! Brilliant! No-one was local to the town and a couple don't have an adult ADHD service in their area. I was surprised to find out that one person was dx in local CAMHS, but can't get medication because they're over 25! FFS! So is having to be referred out of area. . .yet another variance of service . . I had another meeting at Remploy yesterday and found out why the man that I've been seeing is always really friendly towards me (he always offers me something to drink, and doesn't to others) . . He has an ADHD foster son and we chatted so much that he overran into his next meeting. So he arranged a meeting with the careers service and talked about what kind of work I'd like to do and how they can help me make positives about my many, many, unskilled previous jobs and pick up on transferable skills and innate positive qualities. . So then I went to the aquarium and had a good wander around, buying an all new launchpad (bureau) which is what I'm waiting in for today. . .more systems. . . I'm sure I'll update again tomorrow after I've seen the psych. . either happy or ranting!
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Post by smogz101 on Jun 9, 2016 16:50:55 GMT
sounds like youve had a successful week really hope things go okay for you tomorrow with the psych
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Post by marionk on Jun 9, 2016 21:12:02 GMT
Ditto what smogz said
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Post by contrarymary on Jun 9, 2016 21:31:48 GMT
me three. well done, and good luck!
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Post by vagueandrandom on Jun 10, 2016 11:50:22 GMT
Thanks for all your kind words. . unfortunately this is going to be a rant!. . .
I’m so f***ing angry and upset! Thank you Mister Consultant f***ing Psychiatrist!
So. . saw ‘the psych who can prescribe ADHD meds’. . . . but he’s a general psych and seems to think that ADHD is
just ‘a lack of concentration’ and has only heard of mph and amoxetine. . .
I tried to tell him that I’d discussed with my dx psych that I would try mph, then look at one of the other stimulants and
that I’d been parked on 36mg of concerta since September. . .
I wanted to be all calm and explain how I thought that my ADHD was affecting my moods and emotional state,
but all he wanted to know was about my treatment for depression and he wants to treat my ‘emotional instability’
and deeper underlying issues before looking at the ADHD. . .
he wanted me to take an anti-depressant and mood stabiliser (I refused) and is referring me for psychiatry of some kind,
which is something. . .
I explained that the mood swings and the lack of emotional control are all part of ADHD and that the concerta had stabilised
some of my mood swings, but made me very tired as I hadn’t been fully titrated.
I got upset and frustrated and couldn’t stop crying, which didn’t help my case. .
He doesn’t think that treating my ADHD will help me and I told him that I didn’t think that he understood me at all. .
that what I wanted to do was to explore how my ADHD is affecting my life and that is what I thought this appointment was for.
I also explained how I don’t sleep . . and he said he couldn’t do anything about that.
Although I told him that I generally don’t like taking meds, I’d like to see if they might help. . .
he made me feel like I was only there to score some stims. . .
so now I’m back to where I was a year ago when I was dx. . .5mg mph IR 3 times a day. . . . which didn’t work the last time. . .
My appointment was at 9.30 and I’m still crying now. . .
because I'm a hysterical, emotionally unstable, delusional f*** up who wants some class B's. . .apparently. . .
Why are even the MH Consultants so f***ing ignorant?!!!
I have an appointment with the understanding GP on Monday and I’m going to ask for an out of area referral. . I’m not holding out much hope. . .
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Post by easilydistracted on Jun 10, 2016 12:07:09 GMT
That's shocking that a psychiatrist should should make such comments as just a lack of concentration when it's accepted that there are physiological? reasons causing it.
Can they not be reported to thr GMC for re-education?
Your anger seems utterly appriopriate.
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Post by contrarymary on Jun 10, 2016 17:51:09 GMT
i'm so sorry vagueandrandomand this is Exactly the sort of experience & poor professional practice which Prof Asherton & the team at the Maudsley need to know about - this is one of things being talked about at the confeence last year.
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Post by marionk on Jun 10, 2016 22:53:47 GMT
I guess this is why they make us see specialist specialists: Because the regular specialists don't know diddly!
Underlying issues don't come much deeper than a fundamentally different 'wiring'!
If your GP is understanding, is there a private ADHD specialist in your area that he/she would be willing to go into a shared care agreement with?
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Post by vagueandrandom on Jun 10, 2016 23:25:07 GMT
contrarymary do you think that there might be something on their website? I'll look tomorrow. . thank you x
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Post by contrarymary on Jun 11, 2016 18:46:56 GMT
i think it was on that new forum resource they were setting up, which was linked here recently?
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