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Post by contrarymary on Apr 26, 2016 12:20:38 GMT
well done you! esp while feeling under the weather it's all progress
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 3, 2016 12:42:34 GMT
I had my psch assessment this morning. . 9am! . .on little sleep. .and couldn't find the door . .
I explained that I thought I'd been referred to someone about continuing my ADHD treatment
and sorting out my meds. . I'd actually been referred for persistent low mood, with a mention
of ADHD. . so we did the usual MH questions and I kept saying that I believe that a lot of
my depression was intertwined with previously undiagnosed ADHD and that I think that addressing
the ADHD would help with the depression. . .
They have someone who deals with ADHD meds, so I'm getting an appointment with them.
I don't want to just be medicated though. . I could do with some therapy to help me understand myself
better. . to unravel and rebuild . . identify specific difficulties and learn how to cope better. .
We'll see. . .
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Post by contrarymary on May 3, 2016 15:52:23 GMT
well done vagueandrandom sounds like progress. prob feels v slow progress. but def moving in the right direction, albeit rather sluggishly
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Post by smogz101 on May 3, 2016 16:26:07 GMT
What type of therapy are you thinking ? I wonder if is worth ringing and asking if they would put you on the list for CBT in the meantime whilst waiting for your appt with the specialist? Might cut out a few weeks waiting. Occupational therapy is so good for strategies, time-management, goal setting etc but I found that despite having loads of ideas the only hope I had of implementing them for myself was to start medication first! Progress though! Hopefully you won't be waiting too long for your appt with the specialist
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 3, 2016 20:36:08 GMT
I'm having counselling smogz101 . . well, I didn't get on with the last one, so I'm seeing a different one on Friday. . I think it's important to take ADHD into account and not try to do what they normally do for depression. . It doesn't work. . I have big issues with CBT. . I've had so many different types of therapy and counselling over the years and I feel that I'm still at square one. . I asked to get occupational therapy for my physical difficulties but got sent for physio, which is fine, but. . Let's see. . I'm seriously considering giving up on my meds atm as I'm so tired and unmotivated . .
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 5, 2016 11:46:33 GMT
Systems Failure! . . Or not? I'm really rigid with my systems for making and keeping appointments. . So so today is 5th May. . I've written in my diary that I have an appointment at Remploy at 10am. . I remember writing it when I was at the induction session because the man leading it said that I didn't need to as it was on my paperwork . .and I said that if I don't write it down straight away, I'll forget. . I ALWAYS do this and ask for confirmation. . So, I set 2 alarms to get up 2 hours before I need to leave. . had a bath, dressed. . now, the thing I was most worried about was that it's too warm to wear my coat. . and I have my 4 pocket system for keys, phone, etc. . so I'm always anxious when I have to change jackets in case I forget/can't find things . . Done. Check my bag. .remember my diary (which normally lives on the launchpad open on current week) Remember my voting card and manage to leave with enough time to vote on the way, so I won't forget to do it later. . arrive at Remploy with time to get a takeaway coffee and walk in 5 minutes early. . To be told that they always hold these sessions on a Wednesday, but this one has been moved to Friday! I can't understand how my system has failed! Try not to cry. . can't come tomorrow because I have the first session with my new counsellor . . Show them my diary. . the next one is 1st June. . I insist on them booking me in for that. . write it in my diary and confirm. . Really angry with myself Go for a walk. . When I get home, I check the paperwork and it does say Friday. . 5th May!! It then has 5/5/16 written twice!! IT'S THE 5th MAY TODAY!!! FFS!! it's just not Friday!! Rant over. . .
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Post by marionk on May 5, 2016 12:05:17 GMT
Paperwork says 5/5/2016 (twice!), so it's their fault. I hope you gave them what for!!
Also, the guy that said you don't need to write it down, as it's on your paperwork, (and is clearly not qualified to tell anyone what they do or don't need to do to remember anything!) he didn't notice it either!
tbh, I'm amazed you were the only one there on the wrong day, and actually I wonder if there weren't others that arrived a bit later . . .
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 5, 2016 12:37:33 GMT
Ha ha! marionk . . I forgot to take the paperwork with me! BUT it was on the 'important papers that I might need, so don't file yet' pile. . as opposed to the 'important papers to file in the filing cabinet when I get round to it ' box. . See. . systems. . So I took a picture of it and emailed to them when I got home and requested confirmation of the meeting with my personal advisor. . making a big deal about how ADHD makes organisation difficult for me. . . they've just replied and apologised
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Post by contrarymary on May 5, 2016 17:18:46 GMT
well done vagueandrandom - not a good day, but a true validation for your fabulous systems i'd love to know, how come your systems sound exactly like my systems. the piles of papers even have the same names!
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Post by smogz101 on May 5, 2016 17:44:47 GMT
Good luck for tomorrow! I do remember you saying about CBT not being very good, I really hope you find something that works soon .... annoying about that appointment, at least they apologised though!
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ishara
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 95
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Post by ishara on May 5, 2016 21:21:36 GMT
Hi Vague and Random,
I'm not entirely up to speed with your situation, but I just wanted to say that I do have some skills in navigating the mh system (I suspect that you do too, by the sound of it!) and that I've really appreciated your help and support so if there's anything I can do... Erm, is it possible to pm people? I haven't quite worked the whole forum thang out (usually use it on my phone; not sure if that has all the features?)
Best of luck,
Ish
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 5, 2016 23:30:56 GMT
Oh. . and I got an appointment letter for the one psych in this area who can do ADHD meds.. . 10th June . . only 9 months since my last appointment I was only diagnosed last July. . .
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Post by contrarymary on May 6, 2016 8:20:52 GMT
v glad to know you have an appt with the appropriate psych, enfin. and that it's not months & months away. here's hoping that you are nearly nearly nearly there. fingers crossed
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 6, 2016 14:00:16 GMT
OK, so I had my first session with a new counsellor. . .
She said that she's not an expert on ADHD, but she has a son with it. . and from her age, he must be at least a teenager. .
I don't want to get my hopes up, after last time. . .but it went quite well. . .
I said that I wanted to work through my emotional and social difficulties that come from ADHD
and end up making me depressed. . and to work on self-esteem and confidence (and the phone)
She stopped me after about 20 minutes and asked if I thought there was something else?. . .
I said, 'like autism?'. . . she said that she could see it in me. .
Now that really freaked me out!
I know that I have 'significant autistic traits' . . .but didn't know that anyone could see it. . .
and because of my waffling and going off on tangents and going blank. . .we didn't even finish the initial assessment session
because we ran out of time. . . hmmmmm. . .
Next appointment in 2 weeks. . . .
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ishara
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 95
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Post by ishara on May 6, 2016 15:58:57 GMT
Oh. . and I got an appointment letter for the one psych in this area who can do ADHD meds.. . 10th June . . only 9 months since my last appointment I was only diagnosed last July. . . 9 months?!? Omg. Tell me that isn't normal - and how does that work anyway? One person diagnoses you then refers you to someone else's waiting list for meds?!? Sounds all wrong to me - glad you finally got an appt though!!
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 6, 2016 16:39:27 GMT
No, it's not normal ishara . . I was dx in London and had a follow up appointment, but then I moved to somewhere that doesn't have an ADHD service, so I was referred to the secondary MH service for 'persistent low mood' (I now find out) the first GP I saw at the practice did the referral and gave me the impression that she doesn't believe in ADHD and refused to prescribe my meds. . . I was without a GP for 3 months as the sale of my flat dragged on and I was temporarily at my mum's. It will still be 6 months since I asked to be referred to an ADHD specialist here. There's a really good adult ADHD unit about an hour's drive away and I've written a letter to the GP that I like (who also is the senior partner) asking if I can be referred there. . It's out of area though.
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Post by marionk on May 6, 2016 17:55:06 GMT
OK, so I had my first session with a new counsellor. . . She said that she's not an expert on ADHD, but she has a son with it. . and from her age, he must be at least a teenager. . I don't want to get my hopes up, after last time. . .but it went quite well. . . I said that I wanted to work through my emotional and social difficulties that come from ADHD and end up making me depressed. . and to work on self-esteem and confidence (and the phone) She stopped me after about 20 minutes and asked if I thought there was something else?. . . I said, 'like autism?'. . . she said that she could see it in me. . Now that really freaked me out! I know that I have 'significant autistic traits' . . .but didn't know that anyone could see it. . . and because of my waffling and going off on tangents and going blank. . .we didn't even finish the initial assessment session because we ran out of time. . . hmmmmm. . . Next appointment in 2 weeks. . . . The counsellor is experienced with various mental conditions, so she can see what other people can't. I doubt very much that any normal NT would notice anything, other than perhaps your nervousness. Don't worry about rambling; for a counsellor to be able to help you, they need to get to know you.
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Post by clubby on May 6, 2016 18:46:34 GMT
Waffling, going off on tangents, going blank. - a day in the life of Clubby. I got a new phone and its one of those modern swipey screen things that takes pictures you can see. Yesterday I discovered it has a voice recorder and I decided to use it when doing a job instead of writing a list. Oh dear. I am so glad I don't have to listen to myself. Stutter, splurt, splat, stall, silence splurt.
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 7, 2016 13:01:40 GMT
clubby and marionkwaffling, off on tangents and going blank. . I wrote this because it's so typical of us all with ADHD. . I know that my counsellor should be used to it. I remember that some time ago I had a thread about how people with ADHD have similar speech patterns and characteristics and that a specialist assessing for dx may be able to tell by the way we speak. . I've always had issues with hearing my own voice. . this is why I could dance on stage, but acting (speaking) is something I could never do. . same with hearing my recorded voice or being on video. .
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 9, 2016 22:05:27 GMT
5 days med free. . Feeling Tiggerish. . Washed/changed sheets. . made a rather wonderful beetroot soup. . Would like to to have had some social contact. . chatter. . Feeling a a bit better than at the weekend. .
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 9, 2016 22:07:13 GMT
PS. . it's only a med holiday to see how it goes and to re-evaluate how the meds affect me when I start again. .
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Post by Mouse on May 10, 2016 6:24:26 GMT
5 days med free. . Feeling Tiggerish. . Washed/changed sheets. . made a rather wonderful beetroot soup. Would like to to have had some social contact. . chatter. . Feeling a a bit better than at the weekend. . Did you feel nervous at all about having 5 days med free?
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Post by Mouse on May 10, 2016 6:25:10 GMT
5 days med free. . Feeling Tiggerish. . Washed/changed sheets. . made a rather wonderful beetroot soup. Would like to to have had some social contact. . chatter. . Feeling a a bit better than at the weekend. . Did you feel nervous at all about going med free?
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 10, 2016 9:59:51 GMT
No Mouse it's my choice, been feeling so tired and unmotivated on them. . . I moved when I hadn't got my meds sorted and I don't know if they make me better or worse. . . Not seeing someone who can sort my meds for another month, so I'm reminding myself what I'm like off and on. .
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Post by Mouse on May 10, 2016 10:15:40 GMT
I hope you find it a useful test of your meds efficacy (I think that's the word) ☺
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ishara
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 95
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Post by ishara on May 10, 2016 22:31:06 GMT
I love the description of Tiggerish. In fact I really resonates with that. Years ago my partner and I had two mugs – he had eyeore (sp?) and I had tigger. We both knew it was entirely apposite.
I am intrigued by your meds holiday and the idea of ascertaining what you are like without and, if I perceive it correctly, some uncertainty about impact?
as you know, I am not there yet in terms of knowing whether meds have any impact or not. I took 15mg for the first time today and a close colleague of mine observed that I seem to be calmer (She knows my diagnosis and that I have started medication ). I was intrigued by this because I felt like a cat on a hot tin roof, but we agreed that it was entirely possible that I would not discern a difference myself. It was only afterwards that I remembered that I had last taken something about five hours or so ago and it was highly unlikely that my apparent calm mood was anything to do with medication. *lol*
I can't help thinking that there should be an empirical measure of some kind - maybe it is overly simplistic of me, but computerised tests of attention are available. I know that is only one slice of the pie, but you would think someone could make an app that would be valid so you could collect objective data on impact. I am probably missing the point, forgive me, it is early days for me. I don't even feel convinced that munching through a to do list would be evidence of progress because sometimes, of course, I hyperfocus or get excited and get lots of shit done...how does one tell?
Do you have any conclusions thus far, Vague & Random? I don't get the impression that your experience of medication has been that positive to this point, has it? I hope I haven't hijacked your thread by the way, I'm not that focused today, whatever my lovely colleagues thought.
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Post by marionk on May 11, 2016 7:14:55 GMT
Ritalin definitely makes me calmer, and that calming effect lasts a lot longer than the buzz. (Apologies for brief post, I need to be elsewhere. )
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 11, 2016 11:49:28 GMT
marionk ishara about the only thing that I noticed about mph is feeling calmer. . . less extreme mood-swings and less anger. . . and my social skills. . keeping on topic more. . slightly less going blank and forgetting words. . however. . .my concentration is possibly worse, as is my eyesight and typing/spelling accuracy. . I've felt more generally depressed, but I might have been anyway. . . and tired, so tired. . that my brain ceases to function at all. . .then waking up at night and not being able to sleep. My brain seems more 'awake' since stopping meds and I have more energy. I'll stay off them for the rest of the week, then start again and see what the difference is. . hmmm. ..
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Post by vagueandrandom on May 11, 2016 12:21:01 GMT
TODAY: went to see the GP. . didn't tell him that I'm not taking meds, got a new prescription. . He doesn't know how to work his computer!!!! I asked if my notes have been received and he couldn't find them (they have. . I asked the receptionist to look) He didn't mention my letter, but it could be that it's been scanned into my notes. . but he's generally interested and caring. . he was pleased that I've got an appointment to sort out my meds and agreed that I'm probably not on the right dose/type. . . He noticed that I was sweating. . I had a 15 minute dash in the rain. . and I explained that I've always had problems with temperature regulation, probably linked to my eds. . .and he understood I told him that I've got a new counsellor and saw the specialist hypermobility physio. . . Oh, yes, that!. . . for anyone who's interested ishara contrarymary the physio was really good at explaining why core work (Pilates) is good, even if you mainly have problems with your limbs. . . for example, problems in the hands can be caused by the neck. . . improving your core strength will mean that the neck will gain more support from the core (I think) and the knock-on is less effort needed all the way along the line. I showed her how I found difficulty supporting my weight on my arms and she showed me that it isn't actually my arms, but my core (and I've been doing Pilates at least once a week for over a year. . my abs are rock hard!) My task until I see her again is not to extend/overextend my elbows, because it could be that which is causing my shoulder instability/dislocations. . it's all to do with alignment. . . Why am I talking about this here? . . .it's another comorbidity. . .. So then I bought a half-price diary, for my counsellor (moods), to tick off if I've done my physio, and to monitor my meds. . Just what I need. . .another bloody diary!!!!!! and then I thought I'd browse the charity shops. . .bought a convex mirror. . .more stuff!!
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Post by contrarymary on May 11, 2016 17:50:07 GMT
goodness, so much useful stuff in one post - thanks vagueandrandom i've been having major problems with my hands/wrists/arms and hip/knee/ankle and have recently traced it back to my neck and core as i get more in alignment the problems disappear up the line, when i don't do yoga the problems spread out along the line. and you've expressed it all really succinctly i also have lifetime problems regulating temperature & always had low temp. it's been worse the last few years, and esp affects my neuro symptoms. i don't dislocate joints mabut hyper-extend, and i now have quite a few joints completely screwed, esp small joints in hands and feet. according to my GP i would fit EDS hypermobility on Brighton criteria but he doesn't see th point in collecting another label unless there's something helpful attached. always good to read your posts. good luck with the diary!
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