i make everyone contact me in writing - by email or letter - because i so struggle on the phone.
I always say that i need this as an adjustment because of problems with working memory, thinking, understanding, processing information etc. I never give phone numbers on the forms unless it's compulsory, adnd then i put an asterisk with a note to explain i can't manage phone calls.
so far, even the DWP have respected my needs with this and no-one's called me
Okay, maybe it's time I jotted down all the questions the specialist asked (a long time ago), that I failed to answer properly because I didn't understand what she was asking.
Did I have any behavioural problems as a child? No, I was a good little girl. Except, now I know that ADHD isn't actually about bad behaviour. But I don't think she even suggested ADHD, and even if she had, she would have had to explain in no uncertain terms that it wasn't just about badly behaved children. Clearly from the question though, she didn't know either anyway.
Actually, I think that explains it. She did ask a bunch of other questions spread over a period of time, that with hindsight, suggests she suspected ADHD, but that particular question, was clearly the main sticking point.
It seems that 9/10 of getting a proper diagnosis, is our own realisation that ADHD isn't about badly behaved children.
. . . And now I can't remember any of the other questionsx_x
Thoughts racing, does NOT equate to the phrase in books, where the hero is thinking on his feet. It means things like jumping two steps ahead when asked a question, and interpreting what you think they want to know and answering that instead. It means your head being too full of thoughts to go to sleep. It means making a connection with something someone just said and something you heard a long time ago about something vaguely related then forgetting what they said in the first place. It means constantly going over things people said and what it might mean, even when you're trying to do other things.
Well done for putting your "toe in the water" by at least having a conversation with your Gp.
Go to the FAQ's part of the site which describes how best to prepare for your Gp appointment. There's some rating scales in there which would certainly be worth filling in. Also, do you have copies of school reports? As you know, the Gp doesn't need detailed info about your earlier life experiences. All he needs is sufficient markers to suggest ADHD as a possibility.
Find out from your Gp whether your local CCG has commissioned an Adult ADHD service. If not, it's likely he will refer you to your local general Mental Health service.
Not all private Psychiatrists require a referral from a gGp but obviously it is best to have your Gp on board, in terms of future treatment.
Ugh, getting seriously bogged down trying to find an app for organising stuff, and getting stupidly distracted too.
I need to collect my copy of the referral letter from the surgery, and maybe phone the specialist.
Put washing out
throw out a bag of rubbish
reward myself with working on 'lean to' wood store or rocket stove
*sigh* Maybe I should just get out there and start on the rocket stove. I'm having one of those, too flaked to move days
Yesterday I remembered a bunch of stuff that should be on my to do lists and I can't face most of them, so I have these nasty 'I should be doing . . . ' feelings that are making me go Waaaahhhhh and run away.
I noted some of them down in a (new to me) list book but I can barely face looking at them.
On the plus side, trying to make a list organiser system that will work for me, I dived into the black hole that is the other side of my bed (where everything eventually slides off to) to try and find my post it notes, and came back out with a bagful of rubbish!
Addiction is defined as a chronic, relapsing brain disease that is characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, despite harmful consequences. It is considered a brain disease because drugs change the brain; they change its structure and how it works.
Tolerance is a person's diminished response to a drug, which occurs when the drug is used repeatedly and the body adapts to the continued presence of the drug.
Ok, so when I use the word addiction, I actually mean tolerance that is so bad that you desperately need to keep taking the stuff to stay normal.
That's what happened when I took Seroxat several years ago, and I'm really scared that it will happen again with dexamphetamine.
I was worried that it would happen with mph too, but it doesn't seem to be so, and in any case I can reduce the dose gradually if it does eventually happen.
When I took Seroxat, for the first two weeks, from day one, it made me very whizzy, gradually diminishing until I was as miserable as I was before I took it.
The doctor said "it's not supposed to work like that" (it's effect was supposed to build up gradually) so what I think happened was that my serotonin levels were not low, or at least not as low as to need the dose that I was taking, so that the boost from the seroxat raised them way too high, giving me a high, that my body objected to and so worked to reduce the amount available by it's own means.
I did ask for a lower dose, but she refused. I think I was probably taking the lowest dose tablets available though, so she probably couldn't give me a lower dose anyway.
Ok, that's Seroxat/serotonin, now for quetiapine.
I'm not really sure what it's supposed to affect, but it didn't give me a high, nor did I notice any immediate difference when I finally gave up on it.
It's effects, while I hadn't noticed them as such at the time, took a very long time to recover from.
all my symptoms got worse when i stopped smoking, and which was what led me to adhd.
when i say all my symptoms i mean thinking, remembering, focusing, planning - all the executive function stuff - plus physical stuff like tics. i found some research about tics, tourettes and nicotine, ADHD and nicotine, depression and nicotine, all sorts of mental health issues and nicotine ... it seems there's plenty out there but not so many joined dots.
i think there was some stuff about it on my first hello post, and some other threads in the forum if you feel like having a search...
I stopped taking it when I started taking seroxat as well, and I didn't get any boost at all from it. I figured that must mean that the quetiapine had trashed my serotonin levels already, and that was the last straw.
A long time later when my faculties started to recover, I found that actually although called an SSRI quetiapine acts by blocking serotonin uptake. So, whatever my serotonin levels were, the seroxat's effects were not going to be noticeable.
Insomnia . . . I've had trouble getting to sleep for a very very long time, but when I suffered a traumatic bereavement, made it much much worse, as, lying in bed with nothing to distract me, I would end up crying myself to sleep, and so developed a kind of sleep phobia, so that i couldn't face going to bed until I was totally knackered and knew I would be asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
Quetiapine, pretty much knocked me out about an hour after taking it, so I was happy to keep taking it, as it meant I could get to sleep at a more sensible hour. Unfortunately, it didn't help me be any more awake/capable in the day, and that was the main reason I stopped taking it.
Since I stopped taking it, I have once again found myself unable to go to sleep until cream crackered, even though I am no longer grieving. I also can't sleep more than a few hours.
More recently something has make me more wakeful in the daytime, but I can't remember if it was the mph, or the diet change/chocolate and or the realisation that I have ADHD releasing me from the 'wth is wrong with me' funk.
Dark chocolate helps, and I think the quetiapine must have done some serious damage to my serotonin/melatonin system. I had been better on mph as well, but the Strattera is making me worse again.
Strattera boosts noradrenalin levels, but thankfully doesn't have the nasty effects that stress related adrenaline has on me. It does make me irritable, although that seems to have abated, but the inability to stay asleep more than a couple of hours is getting worse, just like when I stopped taking quetiapine.
So, did the quetiapine also block adrenalin? What does coming off quetiapine have in common with the effects of Strattera?
eta, not sure when the inability to stay asleep more than a couple of hours started. All I can remember clearly it that after I stopped taking the quetiapine, I started to pay more attention to how much sleep I was actually getting, and that I noticed I was only getting a few hours (3 1/2?) in one chunk.
At least with the Strattera I haven't gone back to having to fend off sleep all day, so it's not all bad. Pity it makes me cranky about doing anything though.
eta2 Seems I was having trouble staying asleep before I stopped taking the strattera, and that it's chocolate that has helped big time with daytime wakefulness.
So that makes the question: What do Strattera and Quetiapine have in common (re inablility to stay asleep? Also WHEN did the inability to stay asleep adtually start? start?
(Many) Years ago I used to wake at dawn, and be unable to go back to sleep.
I don't remember when I started only getting a few hours, in one go.
When my kids were babies, needing feeding in the night, I don't recall ever being wakeful, only wanting to get back to sleep, and I'd often sleep with baby beside me, so it certainly wasn't then.
I only recall taking note of how much sleep I was getting, after I started quetiapine, but I might have been having trouble even before then. I know I was having trouble getting to sleep, but can't really recall anything about quality of sleep before that.
What I am absolutely positive about is that since coming off it I have ever so gradually managed to sleep in longer chunks, and a few times recently I even managed to sleep a little over 6 hours (with chocolate). Since taking Strattera it's all gone to pot though, and I'm lucky if I get even the 3 hours that I used to get when I was at my previous worst!! I'm also more tired in the daytime, although not quite back to fighting off sleep all day.
I'm also stiff and achey even without any increase in activity levels, so that must be from the atomoxetine as well. :/
I used to occasionally wake myself with a myoclonic jerk, but it wasn't so often that it was a real problem, and it hasn't happened for months now.
Heavy blankets don't help me sleep better, they just make it harder to turn over and get comfortable again.
For a very long time, I thought that I didn't remember stuff because I just wasn't trying hard enough. Although I kind of knew it wasn't right, because I get cross with those mnemonic geniuses that say 'anyone can do what I do just use these tricks and practise', and I do use them and do practise, and I still have a rubbish memory for names and faces etc.
I also see that most people mange to remember at least two people's names without having to concentrate on remembering one person's name for any noticeable length of time before being told the next.
So basically I have always kind of known that it takes me a lot more effort to remember things, but *thanks to* people like those geniuses I always put a lot of effort into trying to remember things that aren't always really that important, add that to the massive effort needed to recall stuff at the appropriate time, and with the absolute masses of things we have to remember to do at the right time to maintain modern independent living, and it's no wonder I'm always exhausted.
For some considerable time I have realised that even with such efforts I'm not going to remember everything, and so perhaps I should only try and remember truly vital things, but the habits of a lifetime are hard to break. I still try and remember all the little things that (almost) everyone else does manage to remember without trying, and then there's the stress and frustration . . .
finally getting sleepy again, going to try and get back to sleep before I should be giving up and getting up instead . . .
It seems that medication for ADHD is mainly effective for impulsive type, so, if like me, you are predominantly inattentive, you might get more benefit from chasing up help for your sleep problems than trying to get your GP to see sense on ADHD! You will probably get to try ADHD meds too!!
The ignorant psych doesn't understand ADHD and is reluctant to prescribe anything and
doesn't seem to know what meds do, or therapeutic doses. .
I've told him about my sleep problems and he said that there's nothing he can do about it.
There may well be nothing he can do about it (due to his ignorance), but there are loads of medications for sleep. Does he say why he can't do anything about it?
I suggest you go back to your GP, and request that he prescribe something, or better still, refer you to someone that can.
He can't deny that you have sleep problems, surely? Maybe actually say to him 'Look, forget about the ADHD for now, could you please just refer me to someone that can help sort out my sleep problems."
I went to my GPs hoping they might be able to prescribe something that would help with my fatigue and insomnia, and co-incidentally perhaps also the ADHD. The GP I saw said that they couldn't prescribe (Ritalin? Modafinil? etc.?) without a specialist dx, but even though I am seeing a psych for ADHD, who might well prescribe me Modafinil etc., she still suggested referring me to or a neurologist.
The 'or a neurologist' really caught my attention!!
I found your post about not being able to remember names and faces really interesting. I have always had the same problem. My memory seems to work in quite an odd way, in that I can recall random facts I learned 25 years ago very easily if they are of particular interest, but on the other hand, I have great difficulty remembering the names of people I have only just been introduced to. Recognising faces is another problem. I have often found myself in that very awkward situation where you bump into someone in the supermarket and they start chatting away as though you're the best of friends - meanwhile, my brain is frantically searching through it's faulty filing system and wondering who the heck they are!
I know that this happens to everyone now and then, but this happens to me a lot. Maybe because when I am being introduced to people, my consciousness wanders and starts thinking about the horrible pattern on the wallpaper..or what's that tune playing in the background?..or have I turned the oven off?....
I hope you're feeling more rested and less sleep-deprived today.
Thanks, actually I had a really bad day yesterday. Coming off the Strattera is almost as bad as starting it was!!
Which reminds me, I haven't collected the Ritalin from the dispensary. Ye gods, that makes four things I need to do today?!?
Blood test, swimming . . . appointment in town to sort out my phone . . . and collect prescription ... holy carp my head will be spinning! At least I can collect the scrip on the way home, and it won't matter if I forget anyway, though they all fit together nicely, logistically speaking.
Gawd, when I am I going to get new boxes and the fence sorted for the chickens?!
Oh feck, swimming group was yesterday, I missed it. Oh well, maybe I'll just go on my own. Now I've had the day planned around it for so long, it'll completely throw me if I don't go after all. Or maybe I'll go ice skating instead (same venue, not a big change to plan).
And I need to find the last Co-op vouchers before they expire!
Face blindness, what ever causes it, has a high incidence amongst ADHDers.