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Post by easilydistracted on Aug 29, 2021 20:57:41 GMT
Hi everyone, I'm new here! I'm a father to a 10yo daughter who earlier this year was diagnosed with ADHD which was a relief to all as we'd known she was in some way different pretty much since birth. In the time since diagnosis, and particularly recently, I've done a lot of reading about ADHD and the more I read about it, the more I realise that I share many traits with diagnosed ADHD people and the coping strategies that I've arrived at independently and that actually work are exactly those most recommended for ADHD brains. For example I had pretty bad anxiety about 18 months and did CBT, which uncovered that a lot of my anxiety comes from feeling overwhelmed, particularly at work, and that I struggle to plan long term and end up over-committing myself which ends in stress and anxiety. The methods that I found actually work and that I find I can stick to are bullet journalling and pomodoro. Pomodoro is particularly good for making a start on new projects or work that I class as hard as it forces me to make a start where without it I can sometimes procrastinate for literally days. Even still if I end up with too many things on the go all at once it causes anxiety that I can't shake until I've got the task list down to something more manageable. When I think back through my past there's a lot I can link with ADHD. I was always 'a dreamer' at school. When reading Sarah Templeton's (therapist with ADHD herself) 'How Not to Murder your ADHD kid' she described how she used to steal from her mother's purse, but only subtely like she wouldn't take the last 50p, only take money that wouldn't be noticed or missed which is exactly what I used to, same thought processes and everything. Also went through a shop-lifting phase, which I didn't need to do for any reason other than the thrill. I'm also someone who over my 43 years of life has had a lot of hobbies. And when I pick up a new hobby I get madly passionate about it and it becomes all consuming and I tend to take it to extremes. But a lot of those hobbies fall by the wayside after a while. Bass guitar, badminton, running, cycling, spoon carving, beer brewing, guitar, ukulele, singing, music production, ukulele/cigar box instrument making, squash, rock climbing, guitar pedal building, orienteering, bushcraft, photography, gaming, DJing, yoga, club night promoting, live music, classic car ownership, bread making, saurkraut making, wildlife activism etc.... None of the sports I have done are currently 'my thing' so I've not got that motivation to get out. Running is what I do most and earlier this year was doing great at it, ran an ultra, hilly half marathon every weekend, but even then I was struggling with motivation to get out. Only times I could do it were when I first woke up - I joked that I do it then before my brain has had a chance to decide that it's a bad idea! Or when I was doing the weekend halfs I did it with a friend and so had accountability. But I got injured and had to really knock back the distance and now I'm struggling to restart. When I know I should go for a run and don't I find it really stressful. Or before I actually go out for a run there's at least an hour of feeling anxious about it. I always enjoy it when I actually get out there. Not sure if this is an ADHD thing or not. Top billing for hobbies at the moment is guitar and singing. I've been learning to sing since beginning of the year and practice every day with little charts in my bullet journal where I can tick off when I've practiced etc to hold myself to account. That's worked well for me. Apparently a lot of ADHD people are self employed due to not liking taking instruction and orders for people whom they don't respect (from Sarah Templeton's book). I'm self-employed and this is exactly the reason I give for going self-employed. I feel like I always have loads of thoughts buzzing round my head and that my brain never switches off. I've learned to meditate which does help with that, and has been a help for falling asleep. I do want to do everything in my head now and find it frustrating when other important tasks have to wait. Such as writing this post, I have some work to do next that I'm looking forward to doing but I want to do it all now. It does cause me anxiety when I have too many tasks on my to-do list, even if there's an element having when I'm going to do them planned out. I used to be pretty untidy, but then most kids seem to be. Although I do remember one summer at university when I was in my student house on my own and I didn't do the washing up for that long it went mouldy. A housemate turned up unexpectedly and I was pretty ashamed. I'm now actually pretty tidy and don't struggle too badly with keeping things in some kind of order. My wife is very organised and I think a lot of that has rubbed off on me. I also recall at university I was only just scraping by and it was only in my final year where I got a girlfriend who made me go to the library with her to study that I actually did a bit better and managed to pass. I realise this is the 'buddy system' that tends to work well for ADHDers. I did ok academically through school but was often the one in the class who would prat about, but only to the point that I just avoided a detention or getting into serious trouble. I never got into any big trouble at school. I dislike queueing and if there's any way to avoid a queue I will. I often don't quite finish tasks (painting our front room I had done save for maybe one hours worth of touching up that took another 6 months for me to get around to finishing - too many things to do before I could start - get paint and paintbrushes from loft, dust sheet from shed, put scruff clothes on, and all the throught of all the clearing away afterwards...) or rush them at the end just to get them done. I'm generally pretty even tempered, but do have a point, quite high up, or if something just triggers me, where I'll go into a rage that I take a while to calm down from. But then there are some traits I definitely don't have. I don't tend to forget things. I can make myself do boring stuff, like washing up.. although then I always put on music which I enjoy listening to so it becomes a music listening or singalong session. I'm good with time keeping and never late, almost always early. I don't like disorder and keep the house reasonably tidy without too much bother. I don't interrupt and can wait my turn. I don't fidget too much these days, but do have to be doing something else if I'm on the phone and when I was a kid I doodled in all of my exercise books and constantly twizzled my hair. I'm not hyperactive in any way but I also don't rest much, I'm always doing something. I'm never bored, I have too many interests for that to happen. I now know that ADHD is hereditary (only learnt that a couple of weeks back) so the chance of me having it is stronger. I also think my Mum might have had it - known as daydreamer in childhood, clearly had anxiety, overweight her entire life and had an alcohol addiction problem that she eventually succumbed to. Other than the anxiety I feel that I cope pretty OK with life in general and because of the coping strategies that I now have that actually work I'm not sure I would actually tick enough boxes to be diagnosed. I'm not really sure if seeking a diagnosis would be a useful thing to do or not. I'm also not entirely sure what the point of this post was. Possibly just to give me the impetus to get all of my thoughts about my possible ADHD down in one place. Does it sound like I might have ADHD? Anyone else in a similar position to me? I'm conscious that a lot of my experience could also be applied to a normal brain (I think). One thing it would be useful for me to know if I have it or not is so that I'm able to help my daughter better. From thinking I had a totally different brain type to her I'm now considering that we might share more similarities which would be great as I can then draw on my own life experience of what worked, what didn't, the struggles I had to better help her. Thanks for reading this post that went on a bit! Hi jhobWelcome, I think you've found the right place...
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Post by easilydistracted on Nov 2, 2020 20:15:42 GMT
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Post by easilydistracted on Mar 29, 2020 6:21:05 GMT
Absolutely!
It's a pity that the universities etc are also locked down, so nothing structured.
Instead maybe learning about "underlying medical conditions" on wikipedia?
... and as it's wikipedia ending up reading about the Egyptian pyramids!
( Hyperlipidemia (wow at that photo!!!) -> Arcus senilis -> Calcium -> Tutankhamun )
Actually, I wonder if there's a game there, pick 2 random topics and find the shortest route between them, bonus points for passing through any disfiguring venereal diseases
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Post by easilydistracted on Mar 28, 2020 7:33:46 GMT
I was worried about how boredom and the temptation of outdoors might affect my mental and physical health so I've come up with a plan to survive the lockdown.
Dietary requirements - I have 73 packets of supernoodles, 8 jars of coffee, 3 bags of sugar, 27 cartons of UHT milk and a tub of multivitamins
Sanitary requirements - 5 bog rolls and a packet of wetwipes.
To remove the temptation of going outside and breaking the lockdown I've taped up and papered over the windows to make sure no sight, sound, or smell of outdoors can intrude.
Boredom, I have downloaded *every* episode of Star Trek ever made, right from the pilot though to the animated series ( 727 episodes in all ) and of course all the movies, by then I should be able to move onto Picard.
Have I missed anything?
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Post by easilydistracted on Mar 24, 2020 19:09:08 GMT
Is it a ADHD thing that as soon as u r told not 2 do something it's guaranteed that's what u r going 2 do?
Heh, dunno, but as a fellow difficult, I'll obey rules I agree with but if you think you can get me to blindly obey you can fuck off, awkward bastard you are not alone So, that said, here's why, this time, I'm obeying Does it seem kinda pointless staying at home when we've been told if u get corona virus it's likely 2 b mild Cos it's about slowing down the spread, If 1 person infects 3 in a week, then after 2 weeks you have 9 infected, 3 weeks = 27, 4 weeks = 81 If you can slow that down so that 1 person infects only 2, then after 2 weeks you have 4, 3 weeks = 8, 4 weeks = 16 Obviously, 16 ill people is a lot better than 81 ill people! Shouldn't just vulnerable people be staying at home while the rest of us go out and build up some antibodies?
Why does the country need 2 grind 2 a halt coz of a cold that only kills people at deaths door already?
Cos unfortunately, the "only kills people at deaths door" is (mostly) true *only* while the hospitals can cope, but unless we slow the spread as above they won't have time to gear up. If we don't then a lot of those "recovered" statistics won't... Is it an ADHD thing or a Northern thing that when some clown in London tells u what u can & can't do u just wanna tell them 2 fuck rite off!
And fucking do gooders and jobsworths get rite on my tits
there's nothing heroic about staying at home skiving off work when u have no symptoms but someone on your street has been 2 Italy and u stroked a cat the other day that they mite of touched
That is not doing ure bit 4 the nation that is called tossing it off u work shy sack!
This is all perfectly normal Sorry didn't realise this was gonna turn into a rant
I'm just trying 2 work out is my issue that I can't (not supposed 2) go play out or
is it because someone is trying 2 tell me what I can and can't do in my time
Either way I have a very strong urge 2 be defiant
So do I, I think (for me) it's possibly due to knowing that spending a few weeks locked up ( we can still exercise etc ) is getting on for mental health scary. But, what are the alternatives? We ignore it? The slowdown doesn't happen, the hospitals can't cope, the bodies pile up, the lockdown is extended, everything goes to shit and it takes years and years for the country to get any form of normallacy back? Oh, and we get a nice pile of guilt to add to the rest of our problems. So, bite the bullet, toe the line, obey both the spirit and the rules, we all get through this as soon as possible with as little pain ( and dead bodies ) as possible we all need to simples And if struggling, find someone to talk to Hi
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Post by easilydistracted on Jan 21, 2020 20:59:31 GMT
it can't be unsaid and instead of being a bit of a twat *today* you'll be a 'special' *forever*
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Post by easilydistracted on Jan 21, 2020 20:45:27 GMT
Purpose!
Something that fires the enthusiasm, something new, novel, interesting, something that gets the blood going.
That's the positive... ( run to )
Then there's the not so positive... ( run from )
Something different, anything different, please God, I need to get off this effing hamster-wheel.
Hope you are option 1 - run to!
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Post by easilydistracted on Nov 18, 2019 21:30:11 GMT
Hi Jonathan!
This is always a bit of a crappy time of year me as well with the loss of sunlight - I'm knocked out of sorts much like you describe from now until early in the new year.
And yes, even the eyesight changes! That however I put down to getting more exercise in the summer and my blood pressure being better!
Have you discounted other possible reasons like sleep or diet etc?
With you recently going back on the meds are they suffering and you are actually running on empty?
Hope you get it sorted
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Post by easilydistracted on Aug 6, 2019 17:49:26 GMT
Hi Algenon, Seems like you have a good head on you and are in a good frame of mind. Stay busy If that means taking agency work, do it, even if it's a big drop in terms of of your skills ( you may need to decide yourself though whether an empty space on your CV actually looks better - a massive change could raise eyebrows, probably not as may as a empty space though ) The work place is ( as well as a source of income ) a framework to hang routines around, it's contact with society ( as opposed to daytime telly ) and a rock to peg your sanity against ( without it your brain is a slow boiled frog, slowly slipping away from normality ). At least it is for me, though some might argue how effective it is re. that last point... Who knows, through that you might find another job or it may give you the kickup the backside you seem to want ( a day screwing the lids onto milkbottles really makes you reconsider your life choices... ) Oh, tip on staying good with the agencies - never walk off part way through a shift ( phone the agency part way through and ask for somewhere else the next day yes, but stick the day out ) Stay busy, stay sane Good luck, have fun
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Post by easilydistracted on Jul 25, 2019 21:45:17 GMT
Do you have anything for an ingrown toenail?
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Post by easilydistracted on May 30, 2019 17:00:26 GMT
Are people always telling you you need to get your shit sorted?
Well, now you can...
ok, it's autism now, but adhd could be next!
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Post by easilydistracted on May 19, 2019 19:03:00 GMT
Drawn? No. And certainly not taken for a ride by a big red bus with £350million extra a week for the NHS plastered on the side Anyways, maybe tomorrow common sense will prevail and the whole thing will be cancelled. See, I can do optimism too!
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Post by easilydistracted on May 18, 2019 10:05:53 GMT
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Post by easilydistracted on Feb 8, 2019 18:13:14 GMT
30-40 /day (rollups)
fidget / displacement activity / excuse to get outside / excuse to get away from people
don't do voice, sorry
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Post by easilydistracted on Sept 11, 2018 19:43:57 GMT
Dx'd as an adult too.
Being odd in my family was normal!
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Post by easilydistracted on Sept 6, 2018 21:01:41 GMT
Hi Misstupelo, Trying to understand how he thinks and so how to communicate with him is key. Alcoholism skews judgement, priorities, all the thought processes in fact, meaning you need to learn to speak his new language. It may take many attempts to find a way that reaches him. It's great that you have taken this onboard and are trying multiple approaches. I don't know if you are aware, but Alcoholics Anonymous also have "open" meetings at which non-alcoholics (as well as alcoholics) are welcome, these meetings are for those impacted by alcoholism, there you'll find people like yourself, partners and family members all struggling with an alcoholic loved one. www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/AA-Meetings/Find-a-Meeting#details
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Post by easilydistracted on Aug 6, 2018 11:37:26 GMT
Hi and welcome :-)
It's normal to start on a small dose and work up the way.
Just report the effects you've had to your specialist - too small a dose often does this.
The goal is the smallest effective dose.
Good luck :-)
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Post by easilydistracted on Jul 17, 2018 21:53:05 GMT
Hi adhdmomJust throwing some ideas up in the air, no doubt you'll already have considered most if not all of them. It might be that Adult Care are more focused on making your son stable, and giving him medication every day may be an attempt to help him find that stability. A cynical possibility is that it may be that they just want him docile, in a similar vein, trying to make him XL once in the afternoon is easier than trying to get him to take IR in the afternoon and trying again in the early evening. Essentially, this is your call, are they doing it for his benefit or theirs? Not all XL's are created equal, Concerta for me is good for about 8 hours, Equasm only 6. Maybe there's room for some experimentation? Maybe even going to IR if he's willing that would help with sleeping and eating, while still giving him that stability. And that if he's willing part, kept in care is he given the opportunity to notice improvement? Away from the challenges and achievements of normal life, surrounded only others in care, what yardstick has he got to measure himself against? With his other problems he may be less aware of any benefit ( or similarly lack of benefit ) his medication brings. Sorry, no answers only questions. It sound's like you both have a tough road to travel. best wishes
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Post by easilydistracted on Jul 11, 2018 20:37:52 GMT
Yep!
I dread holidays too ( unless I have an obsession that I can disappear into ), weekends are just shorter versions of that aimlessness.
Finding/creating routines to replace work may help with day turning into night into day...
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Post by easilydistracted on Jul 10, 2018 19:18:56 GMT
Hi, That lost, drowning even , feeling I know only too well, and bouncing from self inflicted calamity to self inflicted calamity, eventually leading me here. Our specifics may be different but hurt and confusion is probably common to us all here You are not alone
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Post by easilydistracted on Jun 12, 2018 20:37:27 GMT
First rule of 'special' club, don't talk about 'special' club! We might be card carrying members, rejoicing in our new awareness, but they might have known for a very long time and be doing their very best to hide it and any approach, however well intentioned, could shatter their confidence knowing or even suspecting they've been 'made'. And confidence is everything. That said... I do have a shortlist ( or in the case of my family, a longlist...) of those I suspect to be fellow 'specials' whom I'm prepared to be quite open with on the basis that theirs is an honest approach. ...but if they are also following rule No.1 that won't happen!
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Post by easilydistracted on Jun 9, 2018 7:57:11 GMT
Possibly because as adults we've accumulated some coping habits that the young have still acquire? Meaning we need less to tip our scales towards 'normality'?
Or that in our pre-dx lost-in-the-wilderness years we've damaged our livers etc sufficiently that the same amount has more effect on us?
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Post by easilydistracted on Apr 22, 2018 8:25:51 GMT
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Post by easilydistracted on Apr 22, 2018 8:18:16 GMT
Interesting question!
Once 'made' and has the Virgin staff to do all the boring (neccessary) bits of running a business, is adhd as much of an issue?
But the early days?
At the early stages of something that engages, the incredible amount of enthusiasm and energy adhd can summon is quite amazing, the focus needed for that initial kick start is easy, heck, it's every breath and every heartbeat.
But after that there's the slog, the following it through, the staying focused, and all the time trying to ignore other new shiny things.
And that's the necessary but very very un-fun part
How did he manage that that stage?
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Post by easilydistracted on Apr 20, 2018 15:25:38 GMT
Ah, but then there would no longer be 10 million Pi seconds in a year* thus breaking the elemental link between lunchtime, dinner time and all of time.
And then where would we be?
In Primark buying elasticated trousers?
*approximately
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Post by easilydistracted on Apr 20, 2018 10:14:02 GMT
Cos the Mesoptanians were smarter then than we are now.
Besides, chopping elephants elephants into little bits is just plain wrong.
Ps. i just got on the wrong bus cos of you!
How much bigger a number the work can hit me with for being late with your new scheme???
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Post by easilydistracted on Apr 16, 2018 11:17:48 GMT
He'll ask for help when he hits rock bottom. Help him get there as quickly as possible. While there is *some* logic to this, I'm not convinced that in a world of turmoil, anxiety and depression having someone you trust push you over the edge in the hope you bounce back is completely wise... Hope and trust can be in short supply at the best of times, while your intentions may be understood on the bounce back, it may not be understood on the way down... He'll need someone he can trust to come back to. Maybe think twice about betraying that trust.
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Post by easilydistracted on Apr 4, 2018 15:49:06 GMT
Ask why!
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Post by easilydistracted on Mar 27, 2018 22:20:51 GMT
Hi
You are almost always better off being in a job than without one - life tends to fall apart less quickly when the bills are being paid!
There's also the routines, the disciplines, the social contact ( surprising how important that is ) that go with having a job.
You'll know yourself that treatment's not a "take this pill and you are cured" process, it takes time and it takes effort.
You may have some employment protection while you are going through diagnoses/treatment, that may not be the case if you stop treatment. ( it could that your employment may fall outside this protection anyway ( due to occupation / length of service etc )
It could be that reasonable adjustments could be made in your workplace to make it easier for you to be more productive at work ( again here, there is no one size fits all answer )
Of course, it could be that the job is simply the wrong job for you and it's exposing that which was previously hidden. You know you, you know your work and your boss, only you can decide on that, but that's a decision best made in daylight.
My job changed slowly, I couldn't adapt to the changes, slowly stripping away my mask until I was left naked for all to see. I've had my dx, it's now managed, a slight change of role and I'm still with the same company, I'm more productive and happier ( I hope they are too )
Not many answers sorry, hopefully a few useful questions for you though.
good luck
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Post by easilydistracted on Mar 6, 2018 17:04:11 GMT
Calmness!
The thing the MPH has done for me and thats to turn down the volume of the inner noise.
Not having that ping-pong of thoughts rattling around has been the most remarkable change, in short it gives me time to think. It also means I can stick to things once I get them started...
Which rather nicely brings us to -
Routine! I've got a coach now and we are trying to introduce some into my life - to move away from living life on the reaction.
It's early days, but I'm quite optimistic - we are starting small and the plans being put in place are small and, crucially, doable.
The plans make sense, they are small, practical, and get results. All of those are necessary - as you say - the big todo list just does. not work.
Like you I have *mumble* years of chaotic living to try to unhabit, so it's not going to be a quick process, no doubt it will not be without the odd hiccup along the way - I can de-rail myself even without the normal day to day challenges that come along.
Now, what was my point...
Oh yeah, getting de-railed...
So, the routines are one thing, the medication the other, neither will work without the other.
Medication alone just means you can live in chaos in a more efficient manner.
Routines alone just mean we start (but not finish) things more regularly...
With the two ( and yes, it's still early days ) I really think I can make some effective and long-lasting changes to the way I live and work.
And that's sorely needed, desperately wanted and long overdue.
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