ftm42
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Posts: 7
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Post by ftm42 on Jul 14, 2018 11:54:19 GMT
We went to an open air evening concert recently. We were late (as always - DH is always late anyway but this was compounded by a diy job that took longer than expected. Would have happened even without add being an issue.
We arrived an hour before supporting act came on. BF and her DH barely spoke to us all night.
More seriously, DH had found out that queue to get out on previous night had been >1.5 hours, so he decided we needed to leave only half way through main act and just as I was getting into my stride. I had no other way to get home, so when he marched off to the car I had no choice but to go too.
I am still feeling so angry. He thinks he was doing me a favour + hates sitting in queues going nowhere. I'd have been happy to queue as this was a singer I've waited years to have an opportunity to see.
Is this really typical ADD behaviour and do I resign myself to going alone next time?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2018 15:13:38 GMT
Short answer: Yes.
I got lost in the acronyms but I assume your husband has ADHD.
Consider asking your husband to start rating his potential decisions/choices out of 10.
"Shall I start cooking food, Dear?" "Ummm..."
becomes...
# Example 1
"How hungry are you, out of 10?" "6/10."
*wait 30 minutes*
"How hungry are you, out of 10?" "9/10."
*start cooking*
# Example 2
"Shall we watch Love Island, together, tonight?" "Thingy, um, arr, err..."
becomes...
"How much do you enjoy watching Love Island, out of 10?" "9/10."
"It's on at 9PM. I'll shout at 8:59 ONCE to remind you, Dear."
You can both do it to each other. This way, we quickly learn what is obligation and what is desire. Desire is good. Obligation is bad.
Anything that doesn't achieve at least an 8/10 is basically obligation/boring for him btw.
Don't confuse love with the desire to pander. Don't make each other feel guilty for having different interests. It's normal. It's healthy.
"If it's not an absolute yes, it's an absolute no."
#essentialism
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ftm42
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 7
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Post by ftm42 on Jul 16, 2018 17:00:14 GMT
Thanks boost - I quite like the idea of rating an answer. I guess for us the answer to
''shall we go now' - would be 10/10 for him, but 0/10 for me., once we were stuck at the venue.
Given that we had both wanted to go [or so I thought], maybe I should have asked the question before booking the ticket -
'how much do you want to go?' - 6/10 would have given me a clue to just go on my own!
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