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Post by andthatswhyidrink on Nov 5, 2018 19:49:28 GMT
Hi
So my whole life I’ve felt like there is something wrong with me. This weekend I came across something that made me wonder if I might have ADHD so read up and took multiple online assessments and I’ve been sobbing over my phone because it’s like someone just explained everything I’ve ever done to me. Dramatic I know.
I went to see my GP this morning and tbh I think she felt I was abit silly but she did agree to make a referral for an assessment.
I just wondered if any of you thought I might be on the right track:
As a child I was quite precocious and a daydreamer but good at school, if anything the structure helped me but as soon as that structure started to break down i.e. from college onwards when I was given freedom and choice I just wasn’t able to focus on anything. I switched A level subjects multiple times. I’ve started 8 different degrees in my life and never completed one. I start hobbies and become obsessive and impulse buy everything I need for them then get bored and move onto something else. I hoard craft materials. I spend money without thinking of consequences and so I have always struggled with debt. This lack of regard for consequences means in the past I have done many stupid things impulsively. I suffer massively with anxiety and depression and am a binge eater (when I’m not obsessed with dieting). I’ve been in my job for 8 years but have been in trouble various roles for not focusing or getting caught not doing my work. Prior to this I never kept a job for longer than 9 months and walked out on various jobs when I couldn’t hack it. I keep secrets from my husband because I can’t explain why I’ve done things or bought things and I’m scared of letting him down. I’m extremely irritable and get so antsy over the smallest things. Just my two children being too loud is too much for me to handle. I’m messy and I procrastinate. I’ll keave a pile of laundry from the dryer on the living room floor for days because I don’t want to fold it and it NEVER gets put away. My mind wanders when people talk to me, when I speak to people on the phone at work I’m always doing something else at the same time and then I forget what they’ve said. It’s always been a joke that I have so many hobbies but it’s because I can’t sit and do nothing.
Anyway this is jus the what I can think of now and there’s definitely more. If you’ve got this far thank you!
The GP said the referral process was long and I found this so disheartening because if I do have ADHD then I feel so sad about how much time has gone by and how many times people have laughed at the way I am and there could have been a reason for it all along. How long did it take from GP referral to diagnosis for you? Thanks
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reg
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Post by reg on Nov 5, 2018 20:37:28 GMT
Hi So my whole life I’ve felt like there is something wrong with me. This weekend I came across something that made me wonder if I might have ADHD so read up and took multiple online assessments and I’ve been sobbing over my phone because it’s like someone just explained everything I’ve ever done to me. Dramatic I know. I went to see my GP this morning and tbh I think she felt I was abit silly but she did agree to make a referral for an assessment. I just wondered if any of you thought I might be on the right track: As a child I was quite precocious and a daydreamer but good at school, if anything the structure helped me but as soon as that structure started to break down i.e. from college onwards when I was given freedom and choice I just wasn’t able to focus on anything. I switched A level subjects multiple times. I’ve started 8 different degrees in my life and never completed one. I start hobbies and become obsessive and impulse buy everything I need for them then get bored and move onto something else. I hoard craft materials. I spend money without thinking of consequences and so I have always struggled with debt. This lack of regard for consequences means in the past I have done many stupid things impulsively. I suffer massively with anxiety and depression and am a binge eater (when I’m not obsessed with dieting). I’ve been in my job for 8 years but have been in trouble various roles for not focusing or getting caught not doing my work. Prior to this I never kept a job for longer than 9 months and walked out on various jobs when I couldn’t hack it. I keep secrets from my husband because I can’t explain why I’ve done things or bought things and I’m scared of letting him down. I’m extremely irritable and get so antsy over the smallest things. Just my two children being too loud is too much for me to handle. I’m messy and I procrastinate. I’ll keave a pile of laundry from the dryer on the living room floor for days because I don’t want to fold it and it NEVER gets put away. My mind wanders when people talk to me, when I speak to people on the phone at work I’m always doing something else at the same time and then I forget what they’ve said. It’s always been a joke that I have so many hobbies but it’s because I can’t sit and do nothing. Anyway this is jus the what I can think of now and there’s definitely more. If you’ve got this far thank you! The GP said the referral process was long and I found this so disheartening because if I do have ADHD then I feel so sad about how much time has gone by and how many times people have laughed at the way I am and there could have been a reason for it all along. How long did it take from GP referral to diagnosis for you? Thanks Took 1 month to hear back from the ADHD clinic in my area. Only to be told there was an 18 month waiting list. After 3 months of waiting on a last minute cancellation list, decided to go private.
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Post by andthatswhyidrink on Nov 5, 2018 20:48:03 GMT
Took 1 month to hear back from the ADHD clinic in my area. Only to be told there was an 18 month waiting list. After 3 months of waiting on a last minute cancellation list, decided to go private. Thanks. Do you mind me asking how much it cost to go private? There’s doesn’t appear to be any adult ADHD specialists (NHS or private) in Stoke/ Staffordshire so I might need to look in Manchester or Birmingham. At first glance I’m looking at £600+ which I just don’t have 😭
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2018 0:09:03 GMT
I can relate to an awful lot of that so you may well be one of the afflicted While you wait for someone to slap a diagnosis on you, consider the following phrase next time you feel like keeping a secret from your family. "Don't lie. Justify."
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reg
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Post by reg on Nov 6, 2018 9:21:55 GMT
Took 1 month to hear back from the ADHD clinic in my area. Only to be told there was an 18 month waiting list. After 3 months of waiting on a last minute cancellation list, decided to go private. Thanks. Do you mind me asking how much it cost to go private? There’s doesn’t appear to be any adult ADHD specialists (NHS or private) in Stoke/ Staffordshire so I might need to look in Manchester or Birmingham. At first glance I’m looking at £600+ which I just don’t have 😭 For me, £300 first consultation and £100 for follow ups. I will link a list of private practices across the UK. i might be wrong, but i imagine city specialists are likely to be more expensive. Hope this helps. aadduk.org/help-support/specialists-support-and-coaches/
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Post by Happydaze on Nov 6, 2018 10:39:46 GMT
There's a lovely consultant in Sheffield, £160 for the assessment and about £60/70 for follow up appointments. It's a bit away but very affordable.
I've just been newly diagnosed at 44yr but I've always been aware of having it but never able to get it diagnosed until now - unfortunately I got an incorrect bipolar diagnosis when I was younger - hyperactivity and hypermania can look very similar when you've had a breakdown!!
Just take a deep breath and don't worry, half the battle is understanding what it is, how it affects you and what are your triggers. Once you have knowledge it will help you hopefully make changes to support you, like planning. My ADHD is really bad and my short term memory is awful so I literally have to plan my days, plan meals, have created a wall planner that involves everything!! This thing has been a lifesaver. I do really hate having it though as I want to be more free spirited but the reality is I'm scatty and forgetful and parenting with ADHD is hard enough especially with a mini me to manage.
I found these 3 supplements help, 5-HTP, magnesium and a good quality omega 3 did wonders as did tweaking my diet to cut out the real baddies.
Most importantly be easy on yourself and don't focus on the bad but on how well you've done to get to here..
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Post by Happydaze on Nov 6, 2018 10:52:23 GMT
Oh and I've started 4 degrees and currently planning the next!! I've moved house 32 times (often over 3 times a year!!), I've worked in so many industries doing various roles including running my own business and I'm just about to start again.
One things for sure, we've been busy..
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Post by andthatswhyidrink on Nov 6, 2018 12:07:26 GMT
There's a lovely consultant in Sheffield, £160 for the assessment and about £60/70 for follow up appointments. It's a bit away but very affordable. I've just been newly diagnosed at 44yr but I've always been aware of having it but never able to get it diagnosed until now - unfortunately I got an incorrect bipolar diagnosis when I was younger - hyperactivity and hypermania can look very similar when you've had a breakdown!! Just take a deep breath and don't worry, half the battle is understanding what it is, how it affects you and what are your triggers. Once you have knowledge it will help you hopefully make changes to support you, like planning. My ADHD is really bad and my short term memory is awful so I literally have to plan my days, plan meals, have created a wall planner that involves everything!! This thing has been a lifesaver. I do really hate having it though as I want to be more free spirited but the reality is I'm scatty and forgetful and parenting with ADHD is hard enough especially with a mini me to manage. I found these 3 supplements help, 5-HTP, magnesium and a good quality omega 3 did wonders as did tweaking my diet to cut out the real baddies. Most importantly be easy on yourself and don't focus on the bad but on how well you've done to get to here.. Thank you very much. You don't happen to know the name of the Sheffield consultant do you? I have family nearby so driving to Sheffield is not a problem for me Yes I definitely need to implement some structure into my life. It explains why I managed at school so well.
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Post by kazm on Nov 8, 2018 2:52:55 GMT
'I feel like I'm going mad' were my exact words to my doctor before describing my chaotic and under achieving life (inc good school results but no degree or career and a house full of unfinished projects and admin tasks)! I sobbed over the book 'Driven to Distraction' by Hallowell/Ratey (not J Clarkson!) that I was lent. Then went looking round the internet to find that perhaps I wasn't crazy / lazy or alone. Unfortunately waiting time for the nhs clinic is over 2 years in Bristol and CCG won't fund out of area treatment because they 'provide' a service! I couldn't face an online assessment which seemed to be the cheapest option but still over £450 for assessment and prescription, not including drug costs. I've ended up paying almost £1000 so far for local private assessment and treatment. There seems to be a real shortage of psychiatrists providing assessments. The clinic in Sheffield sounds like a really good deal, I wish I'd searched further afield and done a bit more research for treatment options but in the end I got desperate and just contacted those in my local area - all expensive and assumed that was the going rate - good call finding the forum first. However psychiatrist diagnosed and I'm currently in titration phase - feeling optimistic if frustrated!
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Post by Shrezzer on Dec 3, 2018 10:45:02 GMT
There's a lovely consultant in Sheffield, £160 for the assessment and about £60/70 for follow up appointments. It's a bit away but very affordable. I've just been newly diagnosed at 44yr but I've always been aware of having it but never able to get it diagnosed until now - unfortunately I got an incorrect bipolar diagnosis when I was younger - hyperactivity and hypermania can look very similar when you've had a breakdown!! Just take a deep breath and don't worry, half the battle is understanding what it is, how it affects you and what are your triggers. Once you have knowledge it will help you hopefully make changes to support you, like planning. My ADHD is really bad and my short term memory is awful so I literally have to plan my days, plan meals, have created a wall planner that involves everything!! This thing has been a lifesaver. I do really hate having it though as I want to be more free spirited but the reality is I'm scatty and forgetful and parenting with ADHD is hard enough especially with a mini me to manage. I found these 3 supplements help, 5-HTP, magnesium and a good quality omega 3 did wonders as did tweaking my diet to cut out the real baddies. Most importantly be easy on yourself and don't focus on the bad but on how well you've done to get to here.. I am desperately looking for a consultant in Sheffield - do you know what their name is?? My partner definitely has ADHD and our relationship is breaking!
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justme100
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Post by justme100 on Jan 23, 2019 19:01:27 GMT
'I feel like I'm going mad' were my exact words to my doctor before describing my chaotic and under achieving life (inc good school results but no degree or career and a house full of unfinished projects and admin tasks)! I sobbed over the book 'Driven to Distraction' by Hallowell/Ratey (not J Clarkson!) that I was lent. Then went looking round the internet to find that perhaps I wasn't crazy / lazy or alone. Unfortunately waiting time for the nhs clinic is over 2 years in Bristol and CCG won't fund out of area treatment because they 'provide' a service! I couldn't face an online assessment which seemed to be the cheapest option but still over £450 for assessment and prescription, not including drug costs. I've ended up paying almost £1000 so far for local private assessment and treatment. There seems to be a real shortage of psychiatrists providing assessments. The clinic in Sheffield sounds like a really good deal, I wish I'd searched further afield and done a bit more research for treatment options but in the end I got desperate and just contacted those in my local area - all expensive and assumed that was the going rate - good call finding the forum first. However psychiatrist diagnosed and I'm currently in titration phase - feeling optimistic if frustrated! Could you please send me this ladies details ?
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addamaja
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Sisyphus had it easy!
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Post by addamaja on Jan 24, 2019 0:28:05 GMT
I really think there should be a compiled list of the private ADHD specialist psychiatrists/clinics across the UK, who are providing diagnosis and treatment, along with the costs of their consultation and prescription.
It should go without saying that many sufferers of ADHD will not, and should not, manage to wait months and years to get progress with treatment! People lose their lives to that kind of hopelessness! If there are services that can sort things out within a few weeks, even if it means paying several hundred pounds, that's info we need to be sharing!
The AADD site page, listing ADHD services, has not been kept up-to-date and frankly seems to not be very well compiled. Not is there any indication of fees there for private services.
Does anyone know of any other online compiled list of clinics/psychiatrists in UK that are doing ADHD diagnosis and treatment? ??
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dobo81
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Post by dobo81 on Feb 12, 2019 21:16:09 GMT
Hi So my whole life I’ve felt like there is something wrong with me. This weekend I came across something that made me wonder if I might have ADHD so read up and took multiple online assessments and I’ve been sobbing over my phone because it’s like someone just explained everything I’ve ever done to me. Dramatic I know. I went to see my GP this morning and tbh I think she felt I was abit silly but she did agree to make a referral for an assessment. I just wondered if any of you thought I might be on the right track: As a child I was quite precocious and a daydreamer but good at school, if anything the structure helped me but as soon as that structure started to break down i.e. from college onwards when I was given freedom and choice I just wasn’t able to focus on anything. I switched A level subjects multiple times. I’ve started 8 different degrees in my life and never completed one. I start hobbies and become obsessive and impulse buy everything I need for them then get bored and move onto something else. I hoard craft materials. I spend money without thinking of consequences and so I have always struggled with debt. This lack of regard for consequences means in the past I have done many stupid things impulsively. I suffer massively with anxiety and depression and am a binge eater (when I’m not obsessed with dieting). I’ve been in my job for 8 years but have been in trouble various roles for not focusing or getting caught not doing my work. Prior to this I never kept a job for longer than 9 months and walked out on various jobs when I couldn’t hack it. I keep secrets from my husband because I can’t explain why I’ve done things or bought things and I’m scared of letting him down. I’m extremely irritable and get so antsy over the smallest things. Just my two children being too loud is too much for me to handle. I’m messy and I procrastinate. I’ll keave a pile of laundry from the dryer on the living room floor for days because I don’t want to fold it and it NEVER gets put away. My mind wanders when people talk to me, when I speak to people on the phone at work I’m always doing something else at the same time and then I forget what they’ve said. It’s always been a joke that I have so many hobbies but it’s because I can’t sit and do nothing. Anyway this is jus the what I can think of now and there’s definitely more. If you’ve got this far thank you! The GP said the referral process was long and I found this so disheartening because if I do have ADHD then I feel so sad about how much time has gone by and how many times people have laughed at the way I am and there could have been a reason for it all along. How long did it take from GP referral to diagnosis for you? Thanks SAME EXPERIENCE HERE its like a light switch is turned on but.. at the same time there is a level of sadness because you have wasted so much energy and stress thinking you were lazy, stupid etc..
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Post by SquarePegRoundHole on Feb 24, 2019 16:32:33 GMT
OMG. This is pretty much my exact life story 😭 please let me know if you have managed to do anything
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Post by wrennables on May 31, 2019 18:46:22 GMT
There's a lovely consultant in Sheffield, £160 for the assessment and about £60/70 for follow up appointments. It's a bit away but very affordable. I've just been newly diagnosed at 44yr but I've always been aware of having it but never able to get it diagnosed until now - unfortunately I got an incorrect bipolar diagnosis when I was younger - hyperactivity and hypermania can look very similar when you've had a breakdown!! Just take a deep breath and don't worry, half the battle is understanding what it is, how it affects you and what are your triggers. Once you have knowledge it will help you hopefully make changes to support you, like planning. My ADHD is really bad and my short term memory is awful so I literally have to plan my days, plan meals, have created a wall planner that involves everything!! This thing has been a lifesaver. I do really hate having it though as I want to be more free spirited but the reality is I'm scatty and forgetful and parenting with ADHD is hard enough especially with a mini me to manage. I found these 3 supplements help, 5-HTP, magnesium and a good quality omega 3 did wonders as did tweaking my diet to cut out the real baddies. Most importantly be easy on yourself and don't focus on the bad but on how well you've done to get to here.. I know this is forever ago now, but just in case you get the notification - can you tell me where to look to see if this Sheffield consultant is still practicing?
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wilzo
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Post by wilzo on Jun 2, 2019 21:11:25 GMT
I couldn’t focus, even with the structure of school. So keep an open mind. I believe ADHD is a spectrum disorder so you may well well have a combination of the traits.
My first nhs assessment took 18 months waiting (for ASD). Then I was promptly pointed in the direction of an ADHD assessment. A further year and a half an I finally have my diagnosis for ADHD. Having the “diagnosis” hasn’t actually been very helpful. I’ve had this overbearing feeling of a wasted life in reflection. But hopefully I will get some meds that work for me and I can start my second life!
I wish you the best of luck! I’m on the look out for an ADHD support group in my area- which could help immensely.
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Post by potty on Jun 3, 2019 19:44:02 GMT
There's a lovely consultant in Sheffield, £160 for the assessment and about £60/70 for follow up appointments. It's a bit away but very affordable. I've just been newly diagnosed at 44yr but I've always been aware of having it but never able to get it diagnosed until now - unfortunately I got an incorrect bipolar diagnosis when I was younger - hyperactivity and hypermania can look very similar when you've had a breakdown!! Just take a deep breath and don't worry, half the battle is understanding what it is, how it affects you and what are your triggers. Once you have knowledge it will help you hopefully make changes to support you, like planning. My ADHD is really bad and my short term memory is awful so I literally have to plan my days, plan meals, have created a wall planner that involves everything!! This thing has been a lifesaver. I do really hate having it though as I want to be more free spirited but the reality is I'm scatty and forgetful and parenting with ADHD is hard enough especially with a mini me to manage. I found these 3 supplements help, 5-HTP, magnesium and a good quality omega 3 did wonders as did tweaking my diet to cut out the real baddies. Most importantly be easy on yourself and don't focus on the bad but on how well you've done to get to here.. I am desperately looking for a consultant in Sheffield - do you know what their name is?? My partner definitely has ADHD and our relationship is breaking!
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Post by zumbazebra on Jun 5, 2019 8:26:44 GMT
The one in Sheffield I have used is Clinical Partners, based at the White House.
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Post by scaryjane79 on Jun 16, 2019 21:01:36 GMT
There's a lovely consultant in Sheffield, £160 for the assessment and about £60/70 for follow up appointments. It's a bit away but very affordable. I've just been newly diagnosed at 44yr but I've always been aware of having it but never able to get it diagnosed until now - unfortunately I got an incorrect bipolar diagnosis when I was younger - hyperactivity and hypermania can look very similar when you've had a breakdown!! Just take a deep breath and don't worry, half the battle is understanding what it is, how it affects you and what are your triggers. Once you have knowledge it will help you hopefully make changes to support you, like planning. My ADHD is really bad and my short term memory is awful so I literally have to plan my days, plan meals, have created a wall planner that involves everything!! This thing has been a lifesaver. I do really hate having it though as I want to be more free spirited but the reality is I'm scatty and forgetful and parenting with ADHD is hard enough especially with a mini me to manage. I found these 3 supplements help, 5-HTP, magnesium and a good quality omega 3 did wonders as did tweaking my diet to cut out the real baddies. Most importantly be easy on yourself and don't focus on the bad but on how well you've done to get to here.. I am desperately looking for a consultant in Sheffield - do you know what their name is?? My partner definitely has ADHD and our relationship is breaking!I regularly say to my doc and family I’m having a mental break down I’m mad
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parzival
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Post by parzival on Jun 28, 2019 10:28:46 GMT
This all of this, is exactly the same story that I have, could cut and paste it and put my name to it.
You are not alone with this.
My assessements on the NHS were an 18 month wait for the first one and then another 4 weeks for the second one, to see a specialist consellor is going to be a 6-8 week wait.
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Post by Wren100 on Jun 28, 2019 13:24:11 GMT
Hey. I have been misdiagnosed several times before I figured it out at 43! Sounds like you are definitely on the spectrum. It is especially difficult for ladies because many girls don’t manifest the hyperactivity bit that boys display at school. Girls go undiagnosed at school. Read the very excellent book “you mean I’m not lazy, stupid or crazy!” By Kelly and Raymundo. It made me laugh and brought great comfort when I was finally diagnosed. You are not mad and you have a lot to offer like empathy, being able to think out of the box and hyper focus!
In India apparently ADHD-ers are respected because it is believed that such people are all over the place because they are busy finishing off stuff from all their previous lifetimes so that they can move on to nirvana.
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Post by jp on Jun 28, 2019 23:34:29 GMT
In India apparently ADHD-ers are respected because it is believed that such people are all over the place because they are busy finishing off stuff from all their previous lifetimes so that they can move on to nirvana. Really? Wow It all makes sense now 😂 I was going to research how clown families fit in cars - but......
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mark0114
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Post by mark0114 on Aug 14, 2019 14:53:49 GMT
Hi So my whole life I’ve felt like there is something wrong with me. This weekend I came across something that made me wonder if I might have ADHD so read up and took multiple online assessments and I’ve been sobbing over my phone because it’s like someone just explained everything I’ve ever done to me. Dramatic I know. I went to see my GP this morning and tbh I think she felt I was abit silly but she did agree to make a referral for an assessment. I just wondered if any of you thought I might be on the right track: As a child I was quite precocious and a daydreamer but good at school, if anything the structure helped me but as soon as that structure started to break down i.e. from college onwards when I was given freedom and choice I just wasn’t able to focus on anything. I switched A level subjects multiple times. I’ve started 8 different degrees in my life and never completed one. I start hobbies and become obsessive and impulse buy everything I need for them then get bored and move onto something else. I hoard craft materials. I spend money without thinking of consequences and so I have always struggled with debt. This lack of regard for consequences means in the past I have done many stupid things impulsively. I suffer massively with anxiety and depression and am a binge eater (when I’m not obsessed with dieting). I’ve been in my job for 8 years but have been in trouble various roles for not focusing or getting caught not doing my work. Prior to this I never kept a job for longer than 9 months and walked out on various jobs when I couldn’t hack it. I keep secrets from my husband because I can’t explain why I’ve done things or bought things and I’m scared of letting him down. I’m extremely irritable and get so antsy over the smallest things. Just my two children being too loud is too much for me to handle. I’m messy and I procrastinate. I’ll keave a pile of laundry from the dryer on the living room floor for days because I don’t want to fold it and it NEVER gets put away. My mind wanders when people talk to me, when I speak to people on the phone at work I’m always doing something else at the same time and then I forget what they’ve said. It’s always been a joke that I have so many hobbies but it’s because I can’t sit and do nothing. Anyway this is jus the what I can think of now and there’s definitely more. If you’ve got this far thank you! The GP said the referral process was long and I found this so disheartening because if I do have ADHD then I feel so sad about how much time has gone by and how many times people have laughed at the way I am and there could have been a reason for it all along. How long did it take from GP referral to diagnosis for you? Thanks Hi - I can't remember how long it took for me, it was 7 years ago and I was at the tail end of fairly long cancer treatment as well. However, I can totally empathise with your symptoms. I was 40 when I got the diagnosis, but only really now trying to work out what to do!
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mark0114
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Post by mark0114 on Aug 14, 2019 14:57:11 GMT
There's a lovely consultant in Sheffield, £160 for the assessment and about £60/70 for follow up appointments. It's a bit away but very affordable. I've just been newly diagnosed at 44yr but I've always been aware of having it but never able to get it diagnosed until now - unfortunately I got an incorrect bipolar diagnosis when I was younger - hyperactivity and hypermania can look very similar when you've had a breakdown!! Just take a deep breath and don't worry, half the battle is understanding what it is, how it affects you and what are your triggers. Once you have knowledge it will help you hopefully make changes to support you, like planning. My ADHD is really bad and my short term memory is awful so I literally have to plan my days, plan meals, have created a wall planner that involves everything!! This thing has been a lifesaver. I do really hate having it though as I want to be more free spirited but the reality is I'm scatty and forgetful and parenting with ADHD is hard enough especially with a mini me to manage. I found these 3 supplements help, 5-HTP, magnesium and a good quality omega 3 did wonders as did tweaking my diet to cut out the real baddies. Most importantly be easy on yourself and don't focus on the bad but on how well you've done to get to here.. I know this is forever ago now, but just in case you get the notification - can you tell me where to look to see if this Sheffield consultant is still practicing? I'm interested in the Sheffield councillor too! If anyone has the info please post it or DM those asking. Thanks!
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Post by vagueandrandom on Aug 15, 2019 8:50:49 GMT
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Post by Daisy on Aug 31, 2019 0:17:15 GMT
So, I’m a high achiever. On the surface, all is good. I get positive comments about my “energy” and my “creativity”. People enjoy my swift mind and how much fun I am to be with. My ability to multi task and juggle is envied. I am a “force of nature”.
But I’m always the last one to bed, and the first up. Most of the time, I’m exhausted, but I can’t ever properly switch off. My sleep is fitful; chaotic thoughts wake me most nights. I sleepwalk, and move stuff in my sleep. My legs twitch in bed, and I fidget constantly. I smoke, or eat, or drink, or type, or talk, or just move. Always. Unendingly. Noise makes me feel like I’m going to dribble brain out of my ears. Unless it is body-shakingly loud, compulsive music - and then I am wholly absorbed.
I’m a complete slave to sensation, at the expense of everything else. I’m a barefoot-in-the-snow kinda gal. I got ill several times as a teenager because I just stayed outside all night, looking at the sky.
I am obsessed with detail, which has to be correct and which I never, ever forget. I am terrifyingly impulsive; awful with money. I spend it all on distractions (shopping, driving fast, exhilarating experiences) or by self-medicating with cannabis, alcohol, smoking, food. Something. Every day.
I need a challenge; an obsession. Or I literally fall asleep. Yet I can’t concentrate on a child’s puzzle. I thrive on lists; without, I flail and wander, aimlessly.
My grandmother was diagnosed bipolar; on the other side, I had an alcoholic grandfather. I have always known i wasn’t neurotypical. I assumed I was one of the above. But then I did some professional training and the bells in my brain jangled at ADD. It was me. I grinned through the session. I felt at home.
I’m not seeking a diagnosis. I feel like I have one. I don’t want meds; I love my pinginess. But how do I manage myself without dulling mysekf? And do I have ADD? Or am I just mad?
X
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2019 1:26:26 GMT
You sound awesome.
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Post by Daisy on Sept 4, 2019 21:06:08 GMT
Thank you! (Blushes). I swing between feeling “awesome” and just wishing I had a bit more control, though. Even I find me unpredictable, sometimes! Tips?? X
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2019 22:41:45 GMT
I can relate to being addicted to perceived complexity. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like being in control of... anything
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Post by Daisy on Sept 8, 2019 20:43:45 GMT
Sometimes it’s not “perceived” complexity; but actual complexity I crave. And I create it. “Addicted” is exactly the word. Crave....
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