Post by icanteventbh on Nov 6, 2018 22:29:29 GMT
Hi, so, like many of you (maybe) can’t believe I’m doing this but here goes...
I’m newly diagnosed. Yep. Same old story. I’m 31 going on 15 and I’ve just started to make sense of who I am. I’m assuming this is a familiar story.
So I’m not really into the whole validation thing. Not because I judge anyone for wanting validation, like, so get that. I’m here because I have nowhere else to go to get this. To say whatever I want to say about this and not be judged. So. For a second time... here goes.
My whole life I’ve been the weird kid and I can’t shake that. My whole life I’ve been so different with no real grounding for why. Creative. Energetic. Unique? How many yall guys had this description but it just did not cut it, no sir.
Diagnosed with depression at 15, but acting out way before this. Random pitches for attention because I needed to be at the centre of everything and hated myself for forcing it. So many people rejected me as I became a teenager because I was just too much. I don’t have a single friend from childhood or teenage years who still knows me because to be honest I was so unbearable!
My professional career is an uphill climb I’m only just beginning to understand at the same time as batting off questions as to why my friendship group is a group I’ve only known for lke 2 years max.
I’m just understand how this has destroyed my life, and I’m both so so mad and sad, but so hoping I can fix the tidal wave of what I’ve done. How can we learn to forgive our past behaviours when it probably was out of our control?
I’m struggling with these questions and struggling to forgive that I’ve been left so far behind that I don’t know how to pick it all up and move forward.
It’s easier with an explanation, yer sure you were ADHD and just didn’t know. But how do you forgive and forget your past with so many painful memories of who you were and how you behaved now knowing it wasn’t really you?
Has anyone else with a new diagnosis faced this pain of reliving your history with new sight? How the hell can I move past 30 years of regret for a childhood and adolescence I simply didn’t understand? I feel I missed out on so many important milestones that were clouded in this ADHD that I can’t look back on my youth with joyful nostalgia, that instead I’m looking back with frustration and hurt.
Please, please share your experiences to help this not hurt so hard. I pretend that I’m cool with this all to my current everyone, but I hope you guys will get what torment it is to want to rewrite your life with clearer eyes.
I could write for hours, I’m sure yall could too, but ima wait in hopes for someone else to get this message in a bottle.
Always with you all,
Saz
I’m newly diagnosed. Yep. Same old story. I’m 31 going on 15 and I’ve just started to make sense of who I am. I’m assuming this is a familiar story.
So I’m not really into the whole validation thing. Not because I judge anyone for wanting validation, like, so get that. I’m here because I have nowhere else to go to get this. To say whatever I want to say about this and not be judged. So. For a second time... here goes.
My whole life I’ve been the weird kid and I can’t shake that. My whole life I’ve been so different with no real grounding for why. Creative. Energetic. Unique? How many yall guys had this description but it just did not cut it, no sir.
Diagnosed with depression at 15, but acting out way before this. Random pitches for attention because I needed to be at the centre of everything and hated myself for forcing it. So many people rejected me as I became a teenager because I was just too much. I don’t have a single friend from childhood or teenage years who still knows me because to be honest I was so unbearable!
My professional career is an uphill climb I’m only just beginning to understand at the same time as batting off questions as to why my friendship group is a group I’ve only known for lke 2 years max.
I’m just understand how this has destroyed my life, and I’m both so so mad and sad, but so hoping I can fix the tidal wave of what I’ve done. How can we learn to forgive our past behaviours when it probably was out of our control?
I’m struggling with these questions and struggling to forgive that I’ve been left so far behind that I don’t know how to pick it all up and move forward.
It’s easier with an explanation, yer sure you were ADHD and just didn’t know. But how do you forgive and forget your past with so many painful memories of who you were and how you behaved now knowing it wasn’t really you?
Has anyone else with a new diagnosis faced this pain of reliving your history with new sight? How the hell can I move past 30 years of regret for a childhood and adolescence I simply didn’t understand? I feel I missed out on so many important milestones that were clouded in this ADHD that I can’t look back on my youth with joyful nostalgia, that instead I’m looking back with frustration and hurt.
Please, please share your experiences to help this not hurt so hard. I pretend that I’m cool with this all to my current everyone, but I hope you guys will get what torment it is to want to rewrite your life with clearer eyes.
I could write for hours, I’m sure yall could too, but ima wait in hopes for someone else to get this message in a bottle.
Always with you all,
Saz