ftm42
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 7
|
Post by ftm42 on Nov 23, 2019 16:37:01 GMT
I've been up since 8.30. Done dishwasher x2, washing machine x3, tumble drier x 2, fed the animals, scrubbed the toilets & bathroom floor, hoovered downstairs, wiped down the dining table, done a poop scoop studied for 1.5 hours (understanding ADHD- ironic), been for a run and showered.
Husband got up at 1130 & has spent ALL DAY on the sofa watching cr@p TV. I know if I challenge him he'll do his "this is how I think and organise myself" thing.
Is this really how it's supposed to be when you're married to an ADHD? I mean REALLY?
Do I have to work like a dog all weekend while he sleeps/ slobs. We both work ft so how come he gets all day off, but I can't? It'll be the same tomorrow. It's got to the point where I hate weekends and I absolutely dread retirement.
We are celebrating our silver wedding next year and I have been tempted to divorce more than once but I'm still here.
Is this my life for the rest of it?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 23, 2019 17:15:11 GMT
You feel compelled to be busy. He does not.
What's the problem?
If you don't want to do the chores, don't do them.
Do whatever YOU WANT TO DO.
|
|
mamadedos
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 31
|
Post by mamadedos on Jan 8, 2020 15:19:07 GMT
ftm42, thanks for posting. I feel for you, as I know that life for my husband over the last 29 years has been extremely painful and taxing. I know that you love your husband, because you have been with him for 25 years (amazing!) and you sought out this site. I recommend going to this awesome site: www.additudemag.com/category/manage-adhd-life/relationships/You can find tons of information on adult ADHD as well as articles on being in relationship with someone who has ADHD from both perspectives, spouse with and spouse without. Feel free to reach out again if you have specific questions or need support. Best of luck.
|
|
oliver
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 3
|
Post by oliver on Aug 6, 2021 14:43:52 GMT
Get rid of the TV.
An idle ADHD mind will soon find something to hyperfocus on. Hopefully it might involve a mop or a hoover!
|
|
|
Post by Juliet Vijn on Sept 11, 2021 18:51:06 GMT
This is exactly my life every day. Married for only 4 years and in 2019 I insisted he saw the Gp to get a referral as I just knew klhe has adhd. Unfortunately mine doesn’t bother read up about his condition and complains that I always want things my way. Instead of accepting that it’s not my way rather that’s what it means to be an adult and feel and act responsible. Everyday is a constant nonstop for me. I feels like am the only adult in the relationship. I need to change my behaviour abs not fall into the trap of parent child role
|
|