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Post by addingtonbear on Jan 24, 2020 20:16:57 GMT
This seems like a good place. My story will be familiar I think. Mid 50s. Recent diagnosis. I donβt understand it fully. Lots of pennies starting to drop. Trying things (every day the same routine as far as I can). Some crushing days of emotional collapse and recrimination. Lots of βup-and-at-itβ days fuelled by timers and sleep and sensible eating. Awaiting psychiatrist meet re starting meds. I think about a month away now. Chronic people-pleaser survival tactics.
Just wanted to say hi. Need a place to feel like an insider rather than an outsider who has been faking his way through it all.
The label on my coat says βthis bear can look after himselfβ. Reality is Iβm starting to believe it, but struggling to achieve it.
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Post by speedy1 on Jan 25, 2020 23:06:24 GMT
Hi addingtonbear I can also totally look after myself until... it goes tits up then my nearest and dearest r left to clean up the carnage I've left in my wake.
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Post by addingtonbear on Jan 29, 2020 15:58:29 GMT
Hi speedy1 thanks for saying hello. With you on that. Have been hauled out of the teeth of disaster a couple of times myself. On reflection though I do notice that I've also helped and hauled other people too. I'm sure that looking after ourselves involves accepting help from others.
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squirrelly
Member's not posted much yet
Nice to meet you, my name is... Ooh Shiny thing!
Posts: 4
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Post by squirrelly on Feb 9, 2020 23:07:53 GMT
Hi Addingtonbear! In totally the same boat! Turning 40 in 2 months. Took three months sabbatical from work to de-stress and get some therapy for depression. Started a mindfulness course run by a clinical psychologist who spoke to me for 5 minutes and said "have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD?" I started reading about it and i felt like i was watching the highest ever scoring game of Tetris! Every single piece fell in to place. I'm still a massive pile of disorganised, highly strung neuroticism but i can sort of see the path! its good to put a name to it. I'm hoping that taking meds doesn't stop that hyperactive, positive, I can do anything side of me. I just hope it helps me be focused enough to ACTUALLY do anything and not get distracted by a kitten like i usually do. BTW just received my diagnosis an hour ago so have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about!!
Nice to meet you anyway!
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mamadedos
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 31
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Post by mamadedos on Feb 26, 2020 23:01:26 GMT
addingtonbear, I am curious how things are going for you? Have pieces been falling into place?
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Post by addingtonbear on Apr 19, 2020 13:15:51 GMT
Hi mamadedos thanks for question. Yes pieces have been falling into place. Not entirely as i expected though. Still letting go of things, people and situations. Lockdown of course has had an impact and my meet with psychiatrist to diagnose medication has been pushed back for foreseeable future, understandably. So Iβm doubling down on routines and building habits. Yesterday i was able to allow myself to stop working and watch a movie all the way through. First time in weeks. Today Iβm doing nice stuff for a change. Iβm counting that as a win. Biggest insight - who would i be if i dropped the βpeople pleasingβ persona Iβve used all my life to manage people and situations. How are you doing?
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Post by addingtonbear on Apr 19, 2020 13:22:10 GMT
Hi @squirrely great to hear from you. How are you finding things after your diagnosis? I agree - having a name for it definitely made a difference for me. Took away a lot of guilt. I find myself much less frustrated with myself. Well, maybe just not for as long. How is the path shaping up for you? A
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Post by fidgetcoop on Apr 19, 2020 20:58:02 GMT
Hi @squirrely great to hear from you. How are you finding things after your diagnosis? I agree - having a name for it definitely made a difference for me. Took away a lot of guilt. I find myself much less frustrated with myself. Well, maybe just not for as long. How is the path shaping up for you? A
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butterfly01
Member's not posted much yet
i have been diagnosed with adhd now
Posts: 11
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Post by butterfly01 on Jul 23, 2020 16:52:36 GMT
just like to say hi and i am new on here and new to ADHD hoping to get diagnosed soon
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Post by ronniehall on Sept 23, 2020 16:09:29 GMT
37 and waiting for official diagnosis (my 7 year old is also waiting for his). Lots of parallels and smiled when I read that you managed to stop working and watch a film all the way through. I find it so hard to let myself stop working and also to allow myself to do anything relaxing (the guilt as I have never achieved enough to feel I deserve it). In the evenings when the kids go to bed I will watch a TV show but out is exhaustion and wanting to spend time with my husband rather than real self care.
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