jenals
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Post by jenals on Dec 19, 2020 22:22:21 GMT
Hello, I’m married to a wonderful man who has ADHD and is on medication for it. We have been married over 4 years and have a little boy of almost 3 and I am now due with our second little girl in 6 weeks. Part of his condition means he gets very worried about things, and creates a whole movie scene of possible things bad things that could happen. It causes him to suffer with anxiety. One thing we are dealing with at the moment is the birth of our little Girl and he just feels very anxious about it all. How can I best support him in the anxiety? My usual answer in the past has been ‘no don’t be silly that’s not going to happen stop worrying about that’ but that usually cause an argument or tension as he is really living out these possible scenarios or worry. Do I leave him to deal with these concerns without a comment? Just asking for anyone who has experienced this before as would really appreciate some help and advice xx
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Post by lottie1522 on Dec 20, 2020 22:24:28 GMT
Hello, I’m married to a wonderful man who has ADHD and is on medication for it. We have been married over 4 years and have a little boy of almost 3 and I am now due with our second little girl in 6 weeks. Part of his condition means he gets very worried about things, and creates a whole movie scene of possible things bad things that could happen. It causes him to suffer with anxiety. One thing we are dealing with at the moment is the birth of our little Girl and he just feels very anxious about it all. How can I best support him in the anxiety? My usual answer in the past has been ‘no don’t be silly that’s not going to happen stop worrying about that’ but that usually cause an argument or tension as he is really living out these possible scenarios or worry. Do I leave him to deal with these concerns without a comment? Just asking for anyone who has experienced this before as would really appreciate some help and advice xx Hiya. To you it doesn't seem like he should be worried about the pregnancy and birth as it sounds like you're having a good pregnancy and had a straightforward birth first time. To your husband as much as he knows these thoughts are just that, they obviously feel like real 'what if' scenarios. I think the best way to deal with it would be to talk with him about them and go through what would happen in these scenarios or you could ask if he could contact you midwife to discuss his worries, or maybe pregnancy and birth support groups in your local area. Talking about his worries might help him but if it is going to make you become anxious then outside services might be a good route. Not being able to talk openly will likely make your husbands anxiety worse and telling him not to be silly and it's not going to happen could be interpreted by your husband as being dismissive of his feelings so maybe try and rephrase your answer to something like 'I can see why that would worry you, the midwife has told me baby is doing fine and isn't concerned about the birth'. Obviously with covid restrictions in place that might also be adding to your husbands anxieties, if he isn't able to come to appointments and the possibility of this birth being so different to your sons. It might be helpful for you both to have a birth plan in place (I didn't have one for either of my boys but know lots of people who have had them) then you can look at different scenarios such as drugs you want/don't want, what happens if you want a certain type of birth but can't do that. It may help hubby to visually see a plan. I hope everything goes smoothly for you and hubby can feel less anxious about the birth. Hopefully my answer can help in some way 😊
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 21, 2020 14:36:35 GMT
Step 1: He goes to his GP and says he has anxiety, if not paranoia. Step 2: GP prescribes an SSRI/exercise/whatever. End of steps
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adz04
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Post by adz04 on Dec 22, 2020 15:07:16 GMT
Hi,
This may sound counterproductive however you could try and validate his concerns/ anxieties. Once he has that validation it will be easier to talk with him get past it.
This doesn’t mean you’re agreeing with him however but it does help in getting past that mist of craziness to see what’s really going on.
Hope that makes sense
Adam
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