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Post by Tracey on Jan 3, 2021 23:51:50 GMT
Hi all, I’m in the uk, midlands. Just wondered what help is available? Support groups? Etc for adults all I can is parents with children that have adhd.
Me and my partner have been together for 3 years. I work at a special needs school, so I would like to think I’m quite good at helping people with special needs etc. My partner has repeatedly lost his job. Money is very tight on just my wages. As in had to use the food bank over Christmas. But if he needs something he will just get it. £20 on fags, £40 on an x box game, £30 on weed etc. But then asks me to help with his bills. Our house is a mess nothing gets done when I’m at work. I’m just finding everything really hard. It’s really effecting my mental health. Not sure how much longer I can do this. I want/need help? Thanks for reading. Tracey
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Post by Anj on Jan 10, 2021 9:25:39 GMT
Hi all, I’m in the uk, midlands. Just wondered what help is available? Support groups? Etc for adults all I can is parents with children that have adhd. Me and my partner have been together for 3 years. I work at a special needs school, so I would like to think I’m quite good at helping people with special needs etc. My partner has repeatedly lost his job. Money is very tight on just my wages. As in had to use the food bank over Christmas. But if he needs something he will just get it. £20 on fags, £40 on an x box game, £30 on weed etc. But then asks me to help with his bills. Our house is a mess nothing gets done when I’m at work. I’m just finding everything really hard. It’s really effecting my mental health. Not sure how much longer I can do this. I want/need help? Thanks for reading. Tracey
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Post by Anj on Jan 10, 2021 9:33:56 GMT
Tracey , I have been living with a husband with ADHD for 18 yrs, and his ADHD only diagnosed 6 months ago, he is on medication, when he is on medication he is great but when it wears off he becomes a evil person, However I am not sure for how long he can take medicine in long term, but we have two kids and because of them I am kind of stuck with him. But if I would have found out about this 15 yes ago or in other words if I have only been with him for 3 year, I would have moved on and left him, because if I look back 18 yr I had little good memories and lots of bad memories even he abused me physically at times due to his mental illness. So dont want to say much and direct, if u love him stay, but then how much are u paying for that , it's your choice. Hi all, I’m in the uk, midlands. Just wondered what help is available? Support groups? Etc for adults all I can is parents with children that have adhd. Me and my partner have been together for 3 years. I work at a special needs school, so I would like to think I’m quite good at helping people with special needs etc. My partner has repeatedly lost his job. Money is very tight on just my wages. As in had to use the food bank over Christmas. But if he needs something he will just get it. £20 on fags, £40 on an x box game, £30 on weed etc. But then asks me to help with his bills. Our house is a mess nothing gets done when I’m at work. I’m just finding everything really hard. It’s really effecting my mental health. Not sure how much longer I can do this. I want/need help? Thanks for reading. Tracey
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2021 11:25:02 GMT
I assume he's undiagnosed / not on tablets? He's probably using the fags as a stimulant. He's probably using the weed to calm himself down. He's probably playing the games to achieve some sense of belonging and/or manage his anxiety. It's easy to sit here and suggest he's very selfish but he's probably just self-medicating. If you take any of these things away, his life will go from 'barely tolerable' to 'I hate my fucking life' pretty quick, I suspect. So now we have some insight into his perspective, let's get back to you. It is absolutely not acceptable for his condition to negatively affect your life. I say this as someone who has ADHD, has no meaningful employment and is currently a huge burden to his wife. You should feel no guilt if you decide this relationship isn't working for you. You don't need to give him a reason, either. Just tell him all good things must come to an end, something any ADHDer will be intuitively familiar with Before you do this, ask yourself if you're the kind of person that enjoys/needs some degree of drama in their life. You might miss it when it's gone.
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psps
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Post by psps on Feb 13, 2021 21:37:21 GMT
Hi all, I’m in the uk, midlands. Just wondered what help is available? Support groups? Etc for adults all I can is parents with children that have adhd. Me and my partner have been together for 3 years. I work at a special needs school, so I would like to think I’m quite good at helping people with special needs etc. My partner has repeatedly lost his job. Money is very tight on just my wages. As in had to use the food bank over Christmas. But if he needs something he will just get it. £20 on fags, £40 on an x box game, £30 on weed etc. But then asks me to help with his bills. Our house is a mess nothing gets done when I’m at work. I’m just finding everything really hard. It’s really effecting my mental health. Not sure how much longer I can do this. I want/need help? Thanks for reading. Tracey Hi Tracey, I'm in a similar situation, would love to join a support group if you have found any - or maybe we could start one? I'm in the south but with covid going on I think an online group would work. It would be so good for our mental health to be able to talk about our ADHD partners to someone who understands the challenges it brings. P
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