Post by littlejimmy12 on Mar 14, 2021 19:31:53 GMT
Hi
I’m 48 and have just began the process to get diagnosed. Fortunately I am covered by BUPA so hopefully this should speed things up.
I wanted to discuss my issues and see what you all thought, I’ll prob miss a few but these are the ones that come to mind.
- find it very hard to wait my turn in the conversation, chomping at the bit to say my bit as I feel what I have to say is crucial and the moment will pass.
- feelings of deep frustration when my wife blames me for things I believe are not my fault. This one is bad as it makes my very angry, an anger I cannot control. I’m not violent but I’ll rant and storm out the house and sometimes I’ll damage the house in my rage.
- difficulty in focusing on things, especially things that don’t interest me like paperwork for the house - bills etc. I fight the urge just to run off, it’s like I cannot stand still in these moments. My mind is almost like .... itching in it’s uncomfortable state to get away from this task.
- zoning out when I’m focused on one thing whilst everything else around me is a distant murmour....I can sort of hear it but it means nothing.
- I’ll blurt out something that’s on my mind that has no relevance to the conversation or what’s going on.
- total fixation on some things to the point of an obsession. It’s has been collecting vinyl, motorbikes and the gym. But my pursuit of these ‘hobbies’ has been total. Vinyl collection had to be the best most perfect collection. Motorbike took over my life, I built the most amazing Ducati. The gym has been ever present since I was 15 but I took it to a serious level, competed and drugs were involved.
- work wise I’m fine in a process environment but in a more fluid, ever changing one I struggle. My last job I left as I had issues of perceived victimisation (May have been May not) but as the job became more technical and the need to adapt to new tech and processes I really struggled. The flip side is a get bored easily!!
All in all I look around me and wonder why I’m different to everyone else, I feel like I am disabled emotionally.
My marriage has been very hard as my wife feels like she has 2 children not 1 our daughter. She can’t rely on me as I forget so much. I’m very sensitive and take the slightest criticism deep on a level that destroys me. Like I’ve mentioned I can get angry but not that often.
The worse thing is depression, sometimes I have a dark cloud over me for days and these are the worst. I’ll be paranoid that I’m the victim, I’ll be defensive. And then it can lift and I’ll be the opposite.
Thanks
I’m 48 and have just began the process to get diagnosed. Fortunately I am covered by BUPA so hopefully this should speed things up.
I wanted to discuss my issues and see what you all thought, I’ll prob miss a few but these are the ones that come to mind.
- find it very hard to wait my turn in the conversation, chomping at the bit to say my bit as I feel what I have to say is crucial and the moment will pass.
- feelings of deep frustration when my wife blames me for things I believe are not my fault. This one is bad as it makes my very angry, an anger I cannot control. I’m not violent but I’ll rant and storm out the house and sometimes I’ll damage the house in my rage.
- difficulty in focusing on things, especially things that don’t interest me like paperwork for the house - bills etc. I fight the urge just to run off, it’s like I cannot stand still in these moments. My mind is almost like .... itching in it’s uncomfortable state to get away from this task.
- zoning out when I’m focused on one thing whilst everything else around me is a distant murmour....I can sort of hear it but it means nothing.
- I’ll blurt out something that’s on my mind that has no relevance to the conversation or what’s going on.
- total fixation on some things to the point of an obsession. It’s has been collecting vinyl, motorbikes and the gym. But my pursuit of these ‘hobbies’ has been total. Vinyl collection had to be the best most perfect collection. Motorbike took over my life, I built the most amazing Ducati. The gym has been ever present since I was 15 but I took it to a serious level, competed and drugs were involved.
- work wise I’m fine in a process environment but in a more fluid, ever changing one I struggle. My last job I left as I had issues of perceived victimisation (May have been May not) but as the job became more technical and the need to adapt to new tech and processes I really struggled. The flip side is a get bored easily!!
All in all I look around me and wonder why I’m different to everyone else, I feel like I am disabled emotionally.
My marriage has been very hard as my wife feels like she has 2 children not 1 our daughter. She can’t rely on me as I forget so much. I’m very sensitive and take the slightest criticism deep on a level that destroys me. Like I’ve mentioned I can get angry but not that often.
The worse thing is depression, sometimes I have a dark cloud over me for days and these are the worst. I’ll be paranoid that I’m the victim, I’ll be defensive. And then it can lift and I’ll be the opposite.
Thanks