Post by supcap on Mar 24, 2021 12:17:44 GMT
Hey there,
my girlfriend has severe morning anger issues, she also has ADHD, two things that I haven't connected until now. I'm no expert but a quick Google search seems to be confirming that these could be connected. She is aware of the issue, it already caused her big problems in her past (you basically can't talk to her in the mornings, and not everyone in her life could take that). I know that she's trying and I see signs of change - it's not improving though, it's more like she is more mindful about this, but she is not confident that she can change. I know I shouldn't take it as if her anger was aimed at me, but sometimes it's hard to do because if still affects me even when I'm not the cause or target of her anger. Few weeks ago I told her that it makes me sad that 90% of our shared mornings start bad. I found it frustrating that her only advice to me was that I shouldn't take it personal and that she will try to signal more transparently when I should avoid her instead of her getting gradually angrier at me. But I don't want to avoid my partner every morning. To make it more complicated I might have ADHD myself so rejection sensitive dysphoria could be in play from my part when I feel she is rejecting me in the mornings.
So sometimes it makes me angry too, I lashed out at her recently because of this and now we're on the verge of a breakup. I love her and don't want to lose her because of such a thing, and I don't want her to feel miserable every morning, so I'm asking you folks if you have any experience with these kind of issues, and what could be the solution, what are the lifehacks that could make her days start in a more positive way. Even if we do end up breaking up, I'd like to know she can get better and I do my part in helping her.
Thanks
my girlfriend has severe morning anger issues, she also has ADHD, two things that I haven't connected until now. I'm no expert but a quick Google search seems to be confirming that these could be connected. She is aware of the issue, it already caused her big problems in her past (you basically can't talk to her in the mornings, and not everyone in her life could take that). I know that she's trying and I see signs of change - it's not improving though, it's more like she is more mindful about this, but she is not confident that she can change. I know I shouldn't take it as if her anger was aimed at me, but sometimes it's hard to do because if still affects me even when I'm not the cause or target of her anger. Few weeks ago I told her that it makes me sad that 90% of our shared mornings start bad. I found it frustrating that her only advice to me was that I shouldn't take it personal and that she will try to signal more transparently when I should avoid her instead of her getting gradually angrier at me. But I don't want to avoid my partner every morning. To make it more complicated I might have ADHD myself so rejection sensitive dysphoria could be in play from my part when I feel she is rejecting me in the mornings.
So sometimes it makes me angry too, I lashed out at her recently because of this and now we're on the verge of a breakup. I love her and don't want to lose her because of such a thing, and I don't want her to feel miserable every morning, so I'm asking you folks if you have any experience with these kind of issues, and what could be the solution, what are the lifehacks that could make her days start in a more positive way. Even if we do end up breaking up, I'd like to know she can get better and I do my part in helping her.
Thanks