Post by bee2705 on Dec 20, 2021 18:55:28 GMT
Hi, I’m new to this forum and don’t know where to turn.
I’ve been with my husband for 11 years and we have 3 children.
He’s never been diagnosed with ADHD and when I was getting close to broaching it about 5 years ago, he was diagnosed with dyslexia so blamed all of his struggles on that. He briefly went to anger management after arguing with his sister which helped slightly.
He can be a great man - he’s been so loving throughout our marriage but equally, we have huge issues. He ticks every single ADHD symptom box and the reason I could never raise it with him was because I was scared of his reaction due to his hyper sensitivity to any form of criticism. He also works in mental health so it’s an extra slight if he can’t recognise it in himself.
He’s tetchy with the kids and focuses intently on perceived problems. I often feel resentful about being the only adult in the relationship at times and would love him to steer the ship (if only to find his keys and not tear around the house like the Tasmanian Devil).
I found out over the weekend that he has been indulging in group phone sex with strangers. He is devastated and broken and I’m heartbroken particularly as we’ve always had a good sex life but I’m sure not as often as he would like (once a week). He said the danger made him excited and it had been a problem when he was a teenager too.
I only discovered this on Saturday night and I have sent him to his mothers while I take some. I know myself and feel I can’t get over this betrayal. Taking the dog for a walk today, I circled back in my head to ADHD and I know I can take the opportunity to bring it up without fear of his reaction.
My question is, will infidelity happen again or will counselling and/or medication help control the impulses?
What is everybody else’s experience with infidelity?
Thanks, Bee
I’ve been with my husband for 11 years and we have 3 children.
He’s never been diagnosed with ADHD and when I was getting close to broaching it about 5 years ago, he was diagnosed with dyslexia so blamed all of his struggles on that. He briefly went to anger management after arguing with his sister which helped slightly.
He can be a great man - he’s been so loving throughout our marriage but equally, we have huge issues. He ticks every single ADHD symptom box and the reason I could never raise it with him was because I was scared of his reaction due to his hyper sensitivity to any form of criticism. He also works in mental health so it’s an extra slight if he can’t recognise it in himself.
He’s tetchy with the kids and focuses intently on perceived problems. I often feel resentful about being the only adult in the relationship at times and would love him to steer the ship (if only to find his keys and not tear around the house like the Tasmanian Devil).
I found out over the weekend that he has been indulging in group phone sex with strangers. He is devastated and broken and I’m heartbroken particularly as we’ve always had a good sex life but I’m sure not as often as he would like (once a week). He said the danger made him excited and it had been a problem when he was a teenager too.
I only discovered this on Saturday night and I have sent him to his mothers while I take some. I know myself and feel I can’t get over this betrayal. Taking the dog for a walk today, I circled back in my head to ADHD and I know I can take the opportunity to bring it up without fear of his reaction.
My question is, will infidelity happen again or will counselling and/or medication help control the impulses?
What is everybody else’s experience with infidelity?
Thanks, Bee