Post by tiredwife89 on Feb 6, 2022 17:38:21 GMT
Hi,
I have been with my ADHD partner for over 3 years. I have 2 children from a previous marriage and am pregnant with my spouses baby due any day now.
2 weeks ago my partner was arrested due to drunk and disorderly behaviour. He now will appear in court in due course.
I dont know where to begin with his behaviour and the emotional stress he has given me over the years.
I feel like since the day we got together ive held our relationship together. Im constantly organising him, reminding him and worrying about him. More like a parent does with a child as opposed to partners. It wasnt always like this but his impulses are so bad he literally cant be trusted to do anything. This is where i need advice from group members whether they think its ADHD or he is just a selfish horrible man. (Something which i dont want to believe)
Ive had to deal with so much over these years and sometimes sit down and ask myself why i am still here. He gets addicted to things really quickly then will do anything to satisfy that adreline rush and buzz. Ive dealt with porn obbesssions to sexual asmr and tik tok women. This then lead onto cannabis and cocaine and alcohol. He would spend all his wages and disappear to be around old friends who are no good.
I feel like im fighting a constant battle of showing him how to be good but he always ends up picking and making the wrong choices.
He has had chance after chance after chance to get things right but its like hes incapable.
The icing on the cake has been his arrest 2 weeks ago when i was 37 weeks pregnant and covid positive. He impulsively did something stupid got drunk and it ended with him being arrested.
Muggins here is still by his side. The frustrating thing about him is he is a good person deep down inside. He is soo good with the children and would do anything for anyone. But as a partner i cant take much more.
I handle all reaponsibilites of the house, finances, day to day running of the home, even down to reminding him every morning to pick up his work clothes and lunch or he would leave the house and forget them. I am constantly doing my thinking aswell as his and ive had enough. Cleaning up his messes, being his support network, he is like having another child.
I dont want to leave him especially as my baby is due any day now.
But what can i do to make him understand i cant go on like this.
And is it the adhd or is it him being a pig i cant work it out.
I have sat him down and talked to him about things before but it never changes and of course he zones out, forgets what ive said or takes things super personally and it ends up in an argument.
He tells me he loves me so much and all the rest that any woman would love to hear the actions just dont follow through.
Please be kind, ive been in turmoil for a week over this situation im in x
I have been with my ADHD partner for over 3 years. I have 2 children from a previous marriage and am pregnant with my spouses baby due any day now.
2 weeks ago my partner was arrested due to drunk and disorderly behaviour. He now will appear in court in due course.
I dont know where to begin with his behaviour and the emotional stress he has given me over the years.
I feel like since the day we got together ive held our relationship together. Im constantly organising him, reminding him and worrying about him. More like a parent does with a child as opposed to partners. It wasnt always like this but his impulses are so bad he literally cant be trusted to do anything. This is where i need advice from group members whether they think its ADHD or he is just a selfish horrible man. (Something which i dont want to believe)
Ive had to deal with so much over these years and sometimes sit down and ask myself why i am still here. He gets addicted to things really quickly then will do anything to satisfy that adreline rush and buzz. Ive dealt with porn obbesssions to sexual asmr and tik tok women. This then lead onto cannabis and cocaine and alcohol. He would spend all his wages and disappear to be around old friends who are no good.
I feel like im fighting a constant battle of showing him how to be good but he always ends up picking and making the wrong choices.
He has had chance after chance after chance to get things right but its like hes incapable.
The icing on the cake has been his arrest 2 weeks ago when i was 37 weeks pregnant and covid positive. He impulsively did something stupid got drunk and it ended with him being arrested.
Muggins here is still by his side. The frustrating thing about him is he is a good person deep down inside. He is soo good with the children and would do anything for anyone. But as a partner i cant take much more.
I handle all reaponsibilites of the house, finances, day to day running of the home, even down to reminding him every morning to pick up his work clothes and lunch or he would leave the house and forget them. I am constantly doing my thinking aswell as his and ive had enough. Cleaning up his messes, being his support network, he is like having another child.
I dont want to leave him especially as my baby is due any day now.
But what can i do to make him understand i cant go on like this.
And is it the adhd or is it him being a pig i cant work it out.
I have sat him down and talked to him about things before but it never changes and of course he zones out, forgets what ive said or takes things super personally and it ends up in an argument.
He tells me he loves me so much and all the rest that any woman would love to hear the actions just dont follow through.
Please be kind, ive been in turmoil for a week over this situation im in x