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Post by andy12345 on Jul 2, 2009 13:32:49 GMT
Another classic.
How did you handle them before and after medication?
Did you have a tendency to jump ahead in the conversation and come up with all sorts of conclusions, leading to the usual retraction of your comments (if you could do that before you calmed down 2 hours later)
Also, how much did/does a stressful argument/criticism affect you in terms of mood? For me personally (read my signature.) I can just cut people off and that's it. However, I know that I have "issues" now so I try to understand it.
Unfortunately, the mood swing is unavoidable............
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2009 13:50:20 GMT
I will answer the after meds part in the next few weeks. Right now though I avoid arguments like the plague as I find I dont deal with them very well. I can be arguing about something completely different from the other person involved. And dont handle criticism well at all. I always feel like its a personal attack and it gets right up my nose. Im hoping my meds will improve the situation. I shall let you know.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2009 14:04:50 GMT
Look back at my behaviour in the great troll invasion of last month. That was me medicated. Unmedicated there would have been a screaming fit followed by me stalking my quarry and beating them to death in an alley with a big stick You don't stop being you - just a slighly more 'considered' you. I have described it as your defences being an eggshell. The meds make the eggshell twice as thick but tread on it and it still breaks, but a small knock may leave you uncracked.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2009 14:22:18 GMT
I handle criticism terribly and take things very personally even wen i know i shouldn't. This hasn't changed with medication. I actually feel more confrontational than before too but i just have to try and avoid confrontation as i don't want to give up the meds because they help me concentrate on my insanely boring job, and this is no mean feat
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Post by lostinabook on Jul 2, 2009 20:45:24 GMT
Look back at my behaviour in the great troll invasion of last month. Troll? Oh no, I thought that was another term for lurking - I think I said that I trolled in my 'Hello' thread. Ooh noo!! Obviously I meant lurking. Back to the subject in hand ... On meds I am less likely to over-react to situations. For example, my mum has a tendency to say things that are a bit on the naggy side, which usually ends up with an argument. Now I can just let it go, not rise to it, if there is something said that I think is unfair then I keep calm when I put my point across. All this sounds a bit too good, but this is not the case if I'm tired or stressed! I also don't take things so personally, which is an incredible relief. Before it was quite torturous thinking that everything others said and did was based around their dislike of me. Oh, and I feel happier with myself so I can't be bothered to argue with people unless it's for a worthwhile reason.
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andy12345 too lazy to login
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Post by andy12345 too lazy to login on Jul 3, 2009 1:05:33 GMT
Nice replies. Makes me feel more like one of the family every day.... (groan)
My cousin and I created a simple scenario for the misunderstanding that ADHD types seem to have during arguments.
It is amplified for humour to the effect of a superbeing with temper issues hearing something that they don't like. In anger, the first 2 seconds after, they proceed to blow up a couple of planets. After the dust clears in about oh, 2 seconds, the superbeing stops to think and says "oh, you didn't say that, did you?"
Therefore, unfortunately for you - and me, the planets can sometimes stay destroyed which is an EPIC FAIL!
Do I make any sense, or is that just too crazy?
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andy12345 still too lazy
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Post by andy12345 still too lazy on Jul 3, 2009 1:11:17 GMT
I also wish to lol at the troll invasion comment whilst I remember.
Damn, hang on, I need to read the thread again to see why I want to post.
Oh, taking things personally. I do that greatly unless I consciously absorb the VALID criticism's. I am literally my own worst judge. It' s lucky I don't take myself to court because I would throw away the key.
Regarding some argumentative traits still lurking after meds..... I think it's quite clear that perfectly tailored meds may never be achievable, so everyone has to take the effects, good and bad equally.
It is also possibly that some people may not have true ADHD but may be so close to it with another syndrome that requires a slightly different treatment but no one really knows that it exists and it won't really matter as long as everyone is happy.
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Post by magicnick1990 on Jul 3, 2009 1:17:18 GMT
Yes, I absolutely come to conclusions that I have to sometimes retract because I'm so impulsively inclined to get my point(s) across.
I also know what people are going to say usually before they've even got into it fully and am annoyed as I want to finish their sentences more quickly than they do.
I also change topics sporadically.
And arguments get me VERY annoyed. Like if I'm having a debate about 9/11 and I can't convince somebody to agree with me from extensive conversation then I get extremely heated, sometimes have to just abruptly request we stop talking about said thing as it's driving me nuts.
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andy12345 still too lazy to
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Post by andy12345 still too lazy to on Jul 3, 2009 1:34:40 GMT
9/11 is something that you should be careful about. It is such a big topic, especially with sites like serendipity.li as only one of many examples.
I see the possibilities but there is so much data that I don't want to go into it, because to confirm each point, such as temps of steel, black smoke meaning low burning temperature, atomising concrete, other towers collapsing without apparent causes, is just horrible to even think about.
On almost every topic, I can have an opinion, but this one topic alone is too much for me.. I will follow your thread and replies that are posted though as I still believe in the balance of information.
Another thing to remember...........if you try to make a point under pressure, people will always find it harder to be convinced because it seems like you are trying to hard.
For now, I really would worry about yourself. I will be answering your other post about love etc though.
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Post by redneck on Jul 3, 2009 16:34:21 GMT
I would worry about yourself aswell RR
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Post by andy12345 on Jul 5, 2009 0:16:13 GMT
^ lol
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Post by redneck on Jul 5, 2009 16:19:02 GMT
I dont like arguments. I could never be militant. I dont do conflict. Criticism, I usually do it to myself before anybodt else can - a good trick I picked up at school! Trolls - dont hink we had any trolls - in the actuall meaning of the word? From Flayme (roland said to go here to read about trolls) it said : The troll posts a message, often in response to an honest question, that is intended to upset, disrupt or simply insult the group.I dont think thats what happened, I think 2 peoplke had what they thought a bona fide grouch and 2 other people disagreed. This is not trolling is it? I seen on other sites problems like this where if the people having the problem could sort it out but other people from the site jump in and get inviolved. This isnt trolling, its human natuire or maybe its adhd human nature?> Im not medicated (cant you tell ;D). I could be but I prefer not to. Ive always handled it and now think its too late because I am me and the people who know me like "me" not sure how i woyuld cope now if i had to be a differne tme? ooops Ive lost the thread of the thread now - sorry RR
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2009 18:19:40 GMT
don't mention the war!... ;D
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2009 23:07:03 GMT
Trying not to mention we had a war, but the first instance i consider to be a genuine troll, who joined this forum with a single issue agenda, which involved criticising and belittling our members despite their best efforts to improve the lives of themselves and their children, and hats off to roland for seeing the problem before anyone figured out how to climb through their computer and strangle the person in question.
The second incidence was unfortunately timed coming on the heels of that invasion, and i think that our members were feeling particularly defensive in light of the previous invasion, but ultimately i think it proved to be a useful dialogue between different ADHD groups, although it didn't always seem that way at the time!!
The upshot of both incidents is that i think we as a forum have communally realised what we stand for, its all to easy to mistake liberalism as anything goes, but liberalism has its boundaries and these boundaries need to be protected as much as any other ideological standpoint.
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Post by redneck on Jul 6, 2009 10:11:04 GMT
Ah sorry I didnt realise there was a "first instance" of actual trolling - I understand now why the second thing which seemed a big issue out of not much was received in the way it was. Thankyou for that lemonstmake RR
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2009 11:15:59 GMT
Actually troll II was incredibly offensive - arriving on a public forum asking for an apology from an individual (not the forum) is the same as marching into the market square and using the town cryer to ask for an apology from an individual.
It's a level of egocentricity, and breathtaking hypocracy, that I have NEVER seen on a public forum before, and I'm an old hand at it.
I think I used an anology along the lines of 'would you say that in a pub and expect to get out unscathed?', a maxim I apply to all my posts as a check to see that I'm not being overly offensive.
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Post by lily on Jul 6, 2009 12:19:59 GMT
I cant even really remember what the original thread was but remember other people saying they dont take criticism well and I am 1 of those people! Like others have said I take it as a personal attack against me. My mum said the other day im overly sensitive which I know is true.
Again like someone else has said I also criticize (spelling?!) myself before others can. Its a very bad habit of mine but im trying to stop it.
To be honest I dont think that would change if I was taking medication anyway.
Lily x
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2009 13:15:12 GMT
Thats some really good advice Dave. Hmmm, if I said this would I get punched in the pub? lol
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Post by redneck on Jul 6, 2009 16:26:13 GMT
Actually Dave I disagree but I cant be having an argument about it so can we agree to disagree. I too have had experience of trolls on other sites and I mean REAL trolls not people who give their real names and stuff and who feel they need an apology? That isnt trolling, that is adhding ;D If you think that is a troll you havent ever experienced a real internet troll.
I will apologise in anticipation that I will need too.
RR
ps egocentricity, and breathtaking hypocracy, that I have NEVER seen on a public forum before, and I'm an old hand at it. well if you think thats hypocritical and youve never seen the like of it .... then you cant be that much of an old hand - it goes on all the time..bear in mind this site is only a year old, give it time for the REAL trolls to get goinjg then you will really see more than hypocrasy etc!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2009 17:10:46 GMT
You don't think I'm an old hand? I'm not going to argue that point - or why I consider this episode to be beyond the pale.
If you don't get why then you just don't.
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Post by redneck on Jul 6, 2009 17:21:03 GMT
Ok I just dont then.
Dave I can see you are very clever I can also see that you are a person that never thinks they are wrong .. unlike some of us who will bow down and say sorry, you wont because you dont see why you should when you have no need to say sorry because you had nothing to apologise for in the first place. and I guess thats fair enough.
You are a very clever man and your posts are very funny and witty. You are a superstar.
i dont know what beyond the pale means but I suppose it means that yet again I cant have an opinion because I am a nobody. All i said was Im surprised that an old hand like you never saw trolls before, sorry if that is inapropriate or wrong
RR
ps I actually got back on topic, had an argument (I think) and got criticised (I think) bwoo thats a first - getting back on topic i mean ;D
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Post by sherry on Jul 6, 2009 20:17:03 GMT
I can't handle critisism nor compliments AND I never accept I am wrong even when I know I am lol!!!!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2009 21:49:42 GMT
Im with Sherry, I really need it in black and white before I believe im wrong, and even then im asking who wrote it. "I dont care if it was a professor from Oxford, hes not got a clue"
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2009 11:52:46 GMT
Dave, I really wouldn't say person 2 was trolling.
I was the member an apology was demanded off. I was in the wrong (entirely inadvertently as I had not seen a reply to my message, but wrong nontheless) and I apologised, regardless of various unfounded slurs on my character because ultimately that whole sorry mess had a lot to do wit my failure to see I had had a reply to my PM, and i Can see why that person would think I was lying.
As a result I have been keeping very quiet on here lately as it upset me quite a bit
I am not a trouble maker. I am generally a very considerate compassionate person and will go to great lengths to help those struggling with adhd or anything else for that matter.
I am my own greatest critic which in a lot of ways is good but is bad in the aftermath of what i would call an 'episode' where i have gone completely off the boil in an instant.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2009 12:25:36 GMT
don't worry pipkin, we all love ya! ;D
it was just a simple ADHD oversight on your part, i'm sure we've all done much worse!
anyway, it's all in the past.
Thankfully we have nothing to fear from any future trolls!.. because Planetdave is the official guard-dog of the site, Roland keeps him in the yard, and feeds him on nothing but raw meat for just such occasions!!! ;D
-Matt
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Post by lily on Jul 7, 2009 12:30:11 GMT
Yeah Pipkin dont worry, you didnt do anything wrong and no-one thinks badly of you at all. None of us have any reason to! You are lovely and a very valued member of this forum so please do not keep quiet on here from now on!
It was just a very simple mistake which got out of hand, through no fault of yours just people trying to stick up for each other etc.
What sort of dog do you think dave would be? I think something like a nice little furry retriever crossed with a pitbull!
Lily x
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2009 12:45:58 GMT
Cerberus!!!
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Post by roland on Jul 7, 2009 12:53:13 GMT
Hi pipkin, I just want to repeat what the others have said that you didn't do anything wrong, it was a very simple mistake, and it was one that even so-called-normal people make as well so please don't feel you need to be quiet on here, and I for one miss your input because you are right you are a considerate and compassionate person btw my dog is a chihuahua/dachsund mix and would bite the ankle bone off any intruder who dared enter my house ;D She loves frightening the postman
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Post by lily on Jul 7, 2009 14:23:02 GMT
Haha Matt I used to have 1 of those as a toy when I was younger! They scare me a bit now!
Aww Roland I love daschunds theyre my absoloute favourite dogs in the world with chihuahuas somewhere in the top 10! Bet shes gorgeous. What is she called?
My outdoor cat hides behind the conifors near the front gate and when old women walk past she jumps out at them then canters off sideways. Its flipping hilarious.
Lily x
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2009 16:46:38 GMT
nearly back on topic, i spend time telling myself i'm worng and spend lots fotime building complex arguements in my defence of some minor issue but when the time comes avoid the discussion as I have aleady completed all sides of it- I make internal excuses for others behaviour consider them reasonable and myself in the wrong.
unless I go off the deep end in which case -and I am good at this inemails :-( I rant and am cynical _my bosses words) and P*** off all and sundry. when this is brought to my attention I am really sorry adn apologetic adn feel dreadfull. a bit of a self defeating cycle as its a feelingof powerless ness and inadequacy that fires up the anger in teh first place...
not on meds yet- hope not to be but to gain understanding adn confidence through CBT and Omega 3 gavin
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