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Post by Stephen Bailey on Nov 21, 2009 18:47:20 GMT
Hello, I'm new to this web site and forum, I've recently been re-diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, for this I'm pleased as it means that I'm now on medication and noticing a marked improvement in both my behavior and concentration, still got a lot of work to do but its a good start.
I did have a partner before I was diagnosed and during the start of the medication, however due to the stress and lack of knowledge of how this affects relationships and also the trials of starting new medication my relationship broke down. We recently have started seeing each other again without the label of being together but unfortunately my 'partner' is now very unsure of whether she wants to re-instate the relationship. I can understand this as she is scared of being hurt emotionally again and is cautious of the stress of dealing with me with ADHD. We both love each other unconditionally but its the un-predictability I think she is unsure of.
She also sufferers from mild depression so this combined with ADHD is a challenge for her. I am being patient and taking things slow and steady and just taking one step at a time. I guess I'm looking for someone around my age (25/26) with ADHD who I can share experiences ideas with, age isn't really important though. Also I would welcome any correspondence with partners of those with ADHD.
There are no local support groups in my area and this is a shame as its always good to share and listen. I guess in time it would be good if she could talk to a partner of someone with ADHD to share experiences with, I've not put this past her yet, all in good time.
I am planning to see my GP and see if I'm able to get CBT on the NHS but I'm not holding my breath!! Guess like my initial diagnosis its something I've got to push and fight for.
I think that's the long and short of it, if you've got this far thank you for reading.
Steve
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2009 22:56:44 GMT
Hi ive got adhd im 33 newly diagnosed and not medicated. It does put alot of stain on the relationship, ive been with my boyfriend for 8 years living together 7 and half and ive had lots jobs which has caused us to struggle financially, but like you we love each other unconditionally. Now you know what you have got you can put in coping stratergies to support your relatio ship therte is some good advice on adhd and relationships on the addis website and if you google adukt adhd and relationships it will comw up with loads sites they are wortha look at. Its finding a middle ground where you can support each others weakness such as im no good with finances my partner taking charge, he isnt very assertive so i deal with problems that need us to be assertive. He has slight ocd so i have toi be patient and understanding when he checks the door several times etc.
It might be good for her to research adhd maybe print some stuff off for her. I hope this helps. Be kind to self. Vicky
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Post by Deleted on Nov 30, 2009 12:20:16 GMT
Are you convinced a relationship with another adder is a good thing? Friendship & support is invaluable, people who understand you, perfect..But in a couple? Not sure after a few years, the negatives could be challenging..only in my opinion..
Its hard for my partner thats all i can say!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2009 17:39:05 GMT
it hard for my partner too simone, but they love us for a reason, so we must be loveable. lol
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2009 19:13:04 GMT
I am loveable!!!! Not good at much but loving!!!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2009 20:41:48 GMT
No what does that mean simone? if it means once monthly its a once weekly for me. No offence inttended. lol
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Post by Stephen on Dec 1, 2009 21:20:42 GMT
Just to clarify she doesn't have ADHD as well. Probably a good thing! I think we are lovable, medication does seem to be having a marked improvement and things are progressing, still unsure if she wants to take me on but she has mentioned that she has noticed a difference, I think its scared her seeing what it can be like off the medication. I've got no plans to come off it as the benefits are brilliant. Just hoping she will understand that things before medication were unstable. People are full of ideas that people cant change, unfortunately I don't think they understand the difference a small tablet makes Hopefully she will make her own mind up. Steve
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2009 16:09:03 GMT
I'm glad you're doing well Stephen...Keep popping the pills lol..
Meg what u on about..Once a week or monthly?? PML you crack me up!!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2009 16:48:04 GMT
Come on Simone loving been lovers i.e once month etc. You have children, you must have done some lovin. lol
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2009 17:45:56 GMT
;D You can't ask me that in public, cheeky chops!!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2009 19:10:01 GMT
hello Steve and every one im a 32 year old im diagnosed but untreated and Ive got two boys with ADHD thankfully there are receiving appropriate treatment and are doing well considering. i dont no how my partner puts up with me im always going into one good or bad about something them like a pit ball . and will not let go a lot of the time i tend to take things to far but im learning and he is supportive so all is well its taken a rough road to get here though if you love each other you can make it work and i also think that im at a point where Ive learnt many useful ways to manage my ADHD but it dose come to a point where im at now i feel i need medication to be able to go further Lisa
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2009 21:45:13 GMT
Me to Lisa im waiting for meds. What stratergies have you put into place?
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Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2010 1:40:23 GMT
Hi guys, I've just read through some of these and I really need some advice.
I am married to my 25 year old wife who has all the symptoms of ADHD and is currently seing a counsellor. The counsellor is sure she has it and trying to refer her to a specialist but it is taking forever.
I'l be honest, I am really struggling to cope.
I can handle the forgetfulness, organisation and concentration symptoms, even think some of them are kind of cute.
But she gets very very bad manic episodes and anxiety attacks. It's got pretty bad in the past and now getting very dangerous.
She threatened to kill herself a few times, even emptied a pack of pills into her mouth in front of me, i had to get them out with my fingers. She pulls her hair out, hits her head on the floor repeatedly. Last week she had an attack while I was driving and started pulling my hair and hitting me, I nearly crashed and killed us both.
I love her more than anything but I am so scared for her safety and mine! She doesn't want anyone to know about it so I am dealing with this all on my own.
Does anyone else have or know of anyone with these symptoms??
I need help as it's driving me to the edge. Any advice or wise words would be much appreciated.
Thanks!
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Post by twix on Jan 13, 2010 13:53:53 GMT
Take her to the GP and tell him how dangerous it is and that you want to see someone from mental health now. They should be able to get her in to the crisis team. Good luck and be persistent. If that fails then sometimes A+E or out of hours GP can help.
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