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Post by Nick on Apr 25, 2010 8:26:32 GMT
I am staying temporarily (thank god) at my mother's and her partner's house. I have known him for 20 years and always classed him as 'eccentric', but it has taken just a few weeks of living with him 24/7 to realise that his 'condition' is a little more complex than merely 'eccentric'. He is 73 years old and displays the following symptoms:
1. Constantly on the move from 6am - 12pm. When he does sit down he is always fidgeting with his hands and feet
2. Talking incessantly and interrupting other people's conversations with random, irrelevant comments.
3. Repeating the same anecdotes over and over again
4. Inability to listen to or to compute many things he is told
5. Walking up to strangers, children and pets when he is out and trying to engage with them
6. Inability to focus on tasks that don't interest him
7. Inability to form friendships
8. Tendency to drink strong red wine at around 4pm that can make him even more intolerable and which sometimes leads to him acting impulsively and irrationally without any regard for the consequences. This is presumably a coping mechanism?
My poor mother must be a saint to have put up with this behaviour for so long. But the big issue is that, as he is most likely unaware that he has something called ADHD, do I risk rocking the boat by telling him? Especially when I am moving into a new flat in a few weeks time?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2010 14:03:39 GMT
Hi Nick ! Have you spoken to your Mum about this ? Is she unhappy with her life ? How much longer do you think she may have to put up with this ? Maybe another 20 years and if he becomes the one who needs to be cared for then he will be unbearable and if your mum becomes the one who needs to be cared for then forget it ! Tough question with lots of outcomes to take in to consideration ! Good Luck ! Maybe you should just get your mum to watch the addandloving it movie and then see what she thinks !
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2010 15:41:34 GMT
If the symptoms have been the same for years and the 'older person' has plenty of life left in them then why not?
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Post by Nick on Apr 25, 2010 16:00:59 GMT
Hi Sheena
Judging from you answer you would agree with me that mum's partner is ADHD? I don't think he would ever admit to this and my mother might think I am making mischief if I spoke to her as she knows I don't like him. My mother's position is this: she still loves the guy despite some of his 'annoying little habits' as she quaintly puts it. It's true he is very kind to her - always helping around the house, making food and drinks, giving her lifts here and there and can still push the right buttons romantically. She seems happy enough. But of course there is that downside when he's like a headless chicken on speed. If she's tolerated that for 20 years, she will tolerate it for a good few years to come. But she is the only person I know who could. I can't wait to leave - if I stayed with them any longer I would surely have ended up throttling him!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2010 11:28:51 GMT
Sounds like best left alone then and you need to get on with your own life ! I wish you well ! Maybe you were shown this so you will be more aware of how ADHD manifests itself although in women it can seem different! Blessings !x
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