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Post by Deleted on Apr 30, 2011 22:21:10 GMT
I have a 11 year old boy who has ADHD is on concerta xl 36mg. I am fining it very hard to relax around him I have ADHD my self currantly getting diagnosed through NHS (slow Proses) Every thing he does at the moment just winds me up don't know what to do so would love some ideas of how to relax when am around him and to stop getting on at him as I know its not his fault willing to take any advice thanx Griff
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Post by boo on May 2, 2011 8:06:33 GMT
hello bagpuss/griff i know you've put quite a sweeping statement of everything he does, but i am guessing it must be more specific, so is it that he is hyper? or defiant? is it just you and him? does he have friends/outside interests? has he gone up to senior school this year? are his meds effective? so many things come into the equation, it would be impossible for anyone to offer advice cart blanch, i think. you mention you are in the process of dx yourself, how far along the process are you? did you get referred after your son was dx? lol, so many questions and no answers, sorry welcome to the boards though boo
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2011 10:16:07 GMT
Two ADHDers in the same house? My solution is both simple and incredibly hard at the same time. Stop looking at him as a person who is grating on you. Separate your boy from the ADHD and look at them separately - and do the same with yourself. He's getting to an age where he can apply strategies himself and if you both apply a 'count to three' and agree not to be hostile to each other then you might reduce the household stress. At the moment you are sensitive to any little thing - next time you feel like crying just stop and tell yourself that you love him, chase him down and give him a hug instead. No tears, no lectures till you can be sensible with each other. He'll be hurting too and can use the same system. I use the system when talking to ADHDers (I try to )
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Post by kakema on May 2, 2011 10:45:11 GMT
He's moving into a 'difficult age' for any kid. As pd says, the ADHD is just a complicating factor that you need to be aware of. I suspect the ordinary challenges of parenting a boy heading into puberty would be more than enough to try anyone's patience!
You're not a failure for finding it tricky, and it's not all ADHD.
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Post by boo on May 2, 2011 13:49:37 GMT
so many things come into the equation, it would be impossible for anyone to offer advice cart blanch, i think.i'll take that back then
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2011 14:02:48 GMT
I'm quite ambitious!
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2011 20:36:46 GMT
Hi Bagpuss...
My advice, try and keep these feelings to yourself, ie, don't tell him lol..Act (fake) being positive around him even if he's making you want to punch a wall!! Try and do something nice together, maybe at least once a week. For me i can take my kids to the park beach etc..Its harder when they get older, my 13yr old would rather be with friends or on FB? But we try and find time to watch our horror movies together as no-one else likes them!!
I really know how upsetting it can be to not feel emotionally connected to your kids at times, its hard Im in the same boat, the clash of the adder's in my house is ear splitting!
So try taking excercise together then chilling with movies, or getting him cooking for you? Something to wear him/you out first tho, long walk??
Simone x
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2011 1:44:23 GMT
Hi love, I went through similar with mine, we both have ADD/ADHD, I think it's the age, I've got used to it, my sons now 13 on times I hate his behaviour but......I love him to bits, I take myself to my room to watch films on projectfreetv (internet), I tell him I need to relax and he can make as many annoying noises in the rest of flat just not my room!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2011 1:47:48 GMT
Ohh I forgot to say I'm waiting for my own diagnosis too! I've been through hell, I know how hard it is......stay calm, seriously, walk away. Em x
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