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Post by Lionberries on Jan 16, 2013 11:15:47 GMT
Hi, a couple of months ago I found out adults can have add/adhd when the dr suggested I have add. Have since been diagnosed and am surprised by how confused it has made me feel about who I am. What myself family and friends have always viewed my uniqueness to sumerise, wether good or bad was just part of the person that I am. Now it's got a label, I feel like I'm more add symptoms than personality if that makes sense.
I have spent my life (am 34), trying to improve the chaos that is me and have always known my way of being makes things more difficult for my partner and kids but had kinda figured I was a very late matura and would get there in the end if I just kept working hard enough at it.
Now I know there is never going to come a time when these things magically all click into place and my head becomes every yoga masters dream, I'm gutted. I've also spent years telling my partner I'm trying my hardest ( true ) and eventually I'll get there ( now I'm thinking, not true, ). I know how chaotic I make life and I really do care very much about the impact I have on him and my kids. I cannot stand the thought that he'll either have to put up with me like this forever or leave. And I want to know if there are any partners out there who can see anything that's not negative about being with someone who has add?
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Post by Deleted on Jan 16, 2013 23:55:24 GMT
I love my ADHD man, for all sorts of reasons, some of which might have something to do with his ADHD, or mine, but mostly because he's kind, clever, brave, funny, unique, challenging, chock-ful of integrity and generosity...
...a bit of an arse, impatient, intolerant, moody, over-critical...
It gets a bit hairy sometimes, for both of us, but when the ADHD is the source of the problem, as it can be sometimes, at least we understand what's going on. The rest of the time, it's just a relationship.
It's not all about ADHD, and the answer to whether ADHD get on or don't isn't black or white.
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Post by li0nberries on Jan 22, 2013 23:24:29 GMT
Hi, thanks for ur reply. Sorry I didn't say thanks earlier, I'm all over the place on this site at mo. after this I'm going to post a hello on the new members board, cause did what it said and jumped right in then forgot to introduce myself.
I think I've managed to drop the self pity act for a while anyway, especially reading the problems people have had just getting a diagnosis. Love the username! Thanks again
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Post by DKL - darkknightslover on Jan 23, 2013 11:55:50 GMT
I had the same identity crisis when I got diagnosed with dyslexia. Your personality is how you react to situations (including your unique-ness), not necessarily the situations themselves.
Do not think of it as a label. It's not helpful. It's an explanation and a key to unlocking help and understanding. Now instead of trying hard all the time, you can use this new knowledge to effectively target your weaknesses. Your weaknesses will always be there, but now you know that you can stop hoping for the best all the time and yet being constantly flummoxed at the constant failures to "engage your brain"/"get a grip"/"wake up" and actually get on with life.
Sent from my GT-I9000 using proboards
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Post by jonmdavies on Apr 24, 2013 8:09:03 GMT
My wife said last week that I was not as much fun as I was before I had the diagnosis. I think it's because I was still getting my head round it all and now I've done that (as much as you can), that aspect of me is coming back because I'm more relaxed about the whole thing
I'm obv. never going to be exactly the same as I was, just different, and maybe a little better
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2013 13:00:54 GMT
Maybe two wrongs do make a right
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Post by DKL - darkknightslover on Apr 25, 2013 11:07:43 GMT
It's not a wrong. It's a difference.
Good things about ADHD - mostly the impulsivity (randomness) in my experience. The ability to question "norms" and rules that most other people just accept. Out-of-the-box Problem solving strategies.
Sent from my GT-I9000 using proboards
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Post by jonmdavies on Apr 26, 2013 15:39:08 GMT
Totally agree, looking back it's the one thing that has made me good at what i do. There are the negative points but now I know about the ADD I can work on them
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