brainfog
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 44
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Post by brainfog on May 22, 2013 19:18:05 GMT
I LOVE MY SON WITH ALL MY HEART AND THANK MY LUCKY STARS EVERYDAY FOR HAVING HIM X BUT SOMETIMES NEED A LITTLE HELP, SOO GLAD TO HAVE THIS SITE NOW X IT' S BEEN A LONG TOUGH ROAD BEING A PARENT I HAD VERY LITTLE SLEEP FOR THE 1ST 4 YEARS WHEN MY SON WAS BORN, FOLLOWED BY BREAKING TOYS, TAKING HIS 4TH BIRTHDAY BIKE APART TO PEICES (BLESS) CLIMBING OUT OF WINDOWS ONTO HOUSE ROOF, SETTING FIRE TO TOYS/WENDY HOUSE BEDROOM CURTAINS, THESE ARE JUST A FEW OF THE ADVENTURES HE GOT UP TO IN HIS EARLIE LIFE. HE WOULD PUSH BOUNDARY'S TO THE MAX, NOT FEEL BAD IF I CRYED, HE HAS ONLY EVER BEEN INVITED TO 2 PARTY'S AND FINDS IT REALLY HARD TO KEEP FRIENDS, WILL ALWAYS BE DRAWN TO NAUGHT BEHAVIOUR AND BE THE ONE TO GET CAUGHT AND GET INTO TROUBLE. HE IS 14 NOW, HAVE HAD VERY LITTLE HELP FROM ANYONE. HAVE NEW CHALLENGES TO FACE ON A REGULAR BASES. HE IS MUCH LESS HYPER NOW BUT THEN I WORRY WHEN HE GETS DEPRESSED, BEEN TOLD BY HIS 2ND SECONDARY SCHOOL IF HE DOES ANYTHING ELSE MAJOR THEY WILL KICK HIM OUT. HE ALSO DOESN'T SLEEP WELL EITHER. ( I KNOW IM NOT ALONE ) SOMETHING HAS BEEN HAPPENING THE LAST FEW MONTHS AND I HAVE COME TO REALISE MY SON AND I HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN I THOUGHT, SINCE I HAVE BEEN LOOKING INTO ADD/ADHD THE MORE I THINK I HAVE IT TOO ALONG WITH THE COMORBID CONDITIONS THAT GO ALONG WITH IT. I SPOKE TO A LADY TODAY ABOUT A DR CHAD WHO WORKS AT THE PRIORY IN CHELMSFORD FOR ADULT ADHD BUT ALSO MENTIONED DR SARKAR WHO TREATS AND IS A SPECIALIST IN CHILD/ADOLESENCE ADHD. HAS ANYONE SEEN EITHER OF THESE DR'S, IT SEEMS STRAIGHT FORWARD? TO GET A REFERAL FROM MY GP, PAY THE MONEY TO GO PRIVATE, BUT I CAN'T AFORD AFTER ASSESMENT TO PAY PRIVATE FOR ANY FURTHER TREATMENT. HAS ANYONE GOT ADVICE PLEASE AND DO YOU THINK MY GUT IS RIGHT ABOUT MY SON BEING ADD/ADHD?
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Post by annie on May 22, 2013 19:57:59 GMT
Hi there
The way you describe your son's difficulties is highly suggestive of a young person struggling with undx Adhd.
I would highly recommend you share your concerns about undx Adhd with your son (you may have already done this) and make an appointment with he and you to see your Gp so you can get a referral to your local Camhs (Child and Adolescent mental Health Services) They are the people who can assess/dx and treat your son for this condition.
It does sound as though things are reaching crisis point with him, in terms of education and he is at high risk of being permanently excluded from school. Get in touch with your PPS (Parent Partnership Service) who are there to provide you with support you meet with the school so you can discuss his Special Educational Needs (SEN) Their tel no should be on your LA website.
Good luck
annie
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brainfog
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 44
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Post by brainfog on May 22, 2013 20:35:31 GMT
THANK YOU ANNIE,
I HAVE BEEN DR AND FILLED OUT FORMS, CAMHS GOT INTOUCH AND ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SO FAR IS IM ON A 10 WEEK PARENT PROGRAMME AND MY SON WAS OFFERED COUNCILLING BUT HE DIDNT WANT IT, HE DID ATTEND AN EMOTIONS BUS COURSE THROUGH THE SCHOOL WHICH HE SAYS HELPED, HE HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED LAST YR WITH DYLEXIA BUT I DONT THINK THIS IS THE MAIN PROB, I GO WITH MY GUT INSTINCT.
HAD A MEETING WITH SCHOOL WITH 6 PEOPLE PRESENT TO SEE WHAT NEEDED TO BE DONE AND THEY SAID IT SEEMS MOST OF THE PROBLEM IS AT HOME! THATS NOT WHAT CAME ACROSS IN THE LAST MEETING WHEN THEY TOLD ME HE HAD ONE LAST CHANCE TO INPROVE HIS BEHAVIOUR. HE IS'NT DIRUPTIVE VERY MUCH IN CLASS JUST DOES IMPULSIVE, RAMDON THINGS, SOME MINOR SOME MAJOR BUT HE IS ALWAYS COUGHT FOR IT, AND CONSTANTLY LATE FOR SCHOOL OR VERY LATE HOME.
WE HAD A GOOD CHAT TODAY AND I SAID ABOUT MAYBE GETTING ASSESED, IV'E LEFT HIM TO THINK ABOUT IT AND I WILL SEE HOW HE FEELS TOMORROW.
I KNOW HE IS DESPERATE TO FIND OUT WHY HIS FRIENDS SEEM TO DISAPPEAR THIS REALLY GETS TO HIM, COS HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT HE HAS SAID OR DONE.
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Post by jan on May 22, 2013 21:13:19 GMT
who where the 6 people present? i remember these kind of patronising, judgemental and frankly intimidating meetings when my daughter was in school!!!! i got very good at them in the end and wouldn't take any more of their shit to put it bluntly!!!
were any of the six on your side of the table so to speak? if not then i would advise having someone with you at the next one. what area do you live in ? is there a service to help you. i had a service called parent partnership where i live (barnet in london) and i also used to take my daughters connexions worker with me, think that service has been cut now in london - maybe there is some sort of equivalent in your area. find out. andrea at addis is very willing to accompany people if you live in london as well or if you don't contact her and find out if she knows what support is available in your area.
and remember - WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN THAT IS SAID unfortunately has been my experience not all teachers are people of integrity and you need to remember whats said so you can refer back to it in future meetings. hope this helps (ps . hope you don't mind me asking and that it doesn't feel like a criticism - but why do you always write in capital letters? it makes your posts difficult to read (for me anyway) xx jan
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Post by jan on May 22, 2013 21:17:39 GMT
sorry - one more thing - they used to say to me she's done this and that and said this etc
- - - - and i said to them - i know what shes like i live with her i don't need you telling me (very politely of course) what i need to know is what are you going to put in place to help her!!!!
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Post by jan on May 23, 2013 7:11:53 GMT
i'm seeing him on friday so i'l let you know another member on here - supine - has seen him and thought he was good maybe you could pm him to find out more. sounds to me that it would be helpful to get your son assessed,
i'm notorious for remembering information and conversations wrong/mixed up - but am sure when my daughter was in school that her pshyciatrist at cams told me that the school can't permenantly exclude a kid who is being treated for adhd unless they do something really over top like taking a weapon into school or something, saying that mind she told me a lot of stuff that wasn't correct but check it out.
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Post by Amie on May 23, 2013 19:41:21 GMT
Hi I hope you had a good day I though writing in capitals would help read easier, but were all different and that's ok ;D I try normal and see how it goes ;D the 6 people were, head of year, senco, chahm person, councillor and some other lady who didn't even need to be there (all she said was he quite good attendance) and myself. I should have written myself notes, I will keep it in mind for the next time, seem like you have a lot of experience with school and how they don't really help v much!! wish you the very best of luck tomorrow, have you filled out any forms yet? thank you for the info, what does pm mean, sorry learning as I go along xx
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Post by Lesley on May 23, 2013 19:52:39 GMT
Hi Amie
pm means send a personal message. You do it by finding the person's name in the Members List and at the top of their Profile, opposite their name, is a red link that says Send Personal Message (possibly only when logged in. I can't remember and don't want to log out to find out).
I hope you manage to sort something out for your son soon xx
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Post by Kathymel on May 23, 2013 19:56:02 GMT
Or you can click on their name in their comment. It takes you to their profile page and you can message from there.
It is much easier to read that last post. Capitals are like having someone shout at you, lol.
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Post by jan on May 23, 2013 20:26:05 GMT
had untold meetings when my daughter was at school if he's having problems they should have an I E P individual education plan or a behaviour management plan and even if things don't improve after that then they should bring in outside help from the education authority and they will advise on a personal support plan (P.S.P.)
whatever happens he needs support not exclusion. thanks for your good wishes for tomorrow xx
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Post by amie on May 23, 2013 20:43:28 GMT
Thank you for info of what pm is lol ;D I feel so behind with it all My son does have an I E P but its rubbish, the best thing they have done for him was to drop French and goes into a small group learning support. Things are ok ish, at the moment but it is like being on roller coast just waiting for the next thing to happen. xxxx
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