Post by spanna on Feb 3, 2015 13:04:20 GMT
I've just started on my long road to getting a diagnosis but my husband doesn't seem to get how this is affecting my life and how I feel.
I've kept my feelings bottled up inside for years and only recently realised that I may have ADHD, I always thought I was dyslexic (a half sister I didn't even know got in touch and mentioned in conversation she had been diagnosed with ADHD) I finally plucked the courage to go and see my doctor last week and he has referred me to a psychiatrist. I only told my husband about the ADHD and how I was feeling on Thursday, it was the first time he'd seen me crying (apart from when I got a really bad toothache once) because I've learnt to keep everything bottled up, it is the one thing I'm actually quite good at. While he agreed going to see a psychiatrist is the way forward it seems like it is 'business as normal' until I see the psychiatrist. He doesn't seem to want to talk about it much.
Because I've been 'hiding' how this has been affecting me for so long I don't think he quite understands the impact this is having on my life. He agrees with the things he has seen for himself i.e. my short temper, forgetfulness, mood swings, irritability, how I'm disorganised, how I can't deal with stress, always losing things, always leaving the oven on, always leaving my keys in the door, forgetting to lock the door, untidy but he thinks this is normal and has a 'everyone loses their keys' type attitude.
I've recently gone back to work full time after having a baby, I'm studying for a degree and I'm finding the pressure of work too much to deal with. Considering 'how I am', I have pretty decent job, I worked for the same company for 10 years and because I've held down a job for so long he doesn't see how I can be having so many issues. And I'm starting to wonder if the psychiatrist will have the same opinion?
Yes I've worked for the same company for 10 years but I work from home most of the time so don't have the pressure of having to be in an office for a certain time, I always booked meetings in the afternoon to give me plenty of time to arrive. I work for a really big company and because we have been through huge organisational change I've managed to 'hide' for quite a long time. My manager has changed and I only see my manager about 3/4 times per year so at the moment he has no idea about my shortcomings. My mind goes blank in meetings, I can't concentrate when people are talking to me, I just can't cope. I'm absolutely petrified about my boss coming with me to a meeting or asking to meet me. It feels like the net is closing in and it is a matter of time before he realises I'm sh1t at my job!
I can't focus, concentrate or prioritise my work, I've got months and months of work outstanding. I can't absorb any information so I'm not competent at stuff I should be able to do with my eyes closed. Work is making me really anxious at the moment, I've got 2 deadlines today, of which I've not even started. I just seem to stare at my computer screen all day and get nothing done.
My husband doesn't see how I can have an issue if I'm still there after 10 years and said if I'm having issues with my workload I should speak to my boss. What speak to my boss and tell him I'm useless?
I was in a meeting the other day and I asked someone a question, they started talking back at me and I totally zoned out, not only did I not hear a single word they said but I'd forgotten what question I'd asked them - I had to ask them what question I'd asked. I feel I'm stupid all of the time and my self confidence and self esteem is at rock bottom.
I've read that having old school reports is useful for the assessment but unfortunately could only find one from my first term at high school (my first report was the best report I'd ever had) and while the report says I was pleasant, helpful class member it is littered with, disorganised, needs to concentrate more, often forgets pens & books etc my husband just compares it with his report... 'my school report says I was disorganised too?
Will my husband have to do anything for my assessment? I obviously want him to tell the truth but worry he has the 'oh she is fine' response to any questions he is asked.
Don't get me wrong he is a lovely man whom is an amazing husband, he is calm and takes my mood swings, takes my untidiness, he organises and never gets angry with me. How can I make him understand what is it like or to take this seriously??
I've kept my feelings bottled up inside for years and only recently realised that I may have ADHD, I always thought I was dyslexic (a half sister I didn't even know got in touch and mentioned in conversation she had been diagnosed with ADHD) I finally plucked the courage to go and see my doctor last week and he has referred me to a psychiatrist. I only told my husband about the ADHD and how I was feeling on Thursday, it was the first time he'd seen me crying (apart from when I got a really bad toothache once) because I've learnt to keep everything bottled up, it is the one thing I'm actually quite good at. While he agreed going to see a psychiatrist is the way forward it seems like it is 'business as normal' until I see the psychiatrist. He doesn't seem to want to talk about it much.
Because I've been 'hiding' how this has been affecting me for so long I don't think he quite understands the impact this is having on my life. He agrees with the things he has seen for himself i.e. my short temper, forgetfulness, mood swings, irritability, how I'm disorganised, how I can't deal with stress, always losing things, always leaving the oven on, always leaving my keys in the door, forgetting to lock the door, untidy but he thinks this is normal and has a 'everyone loses their keys' type attitude.
I've recently gone back to work full time after having a baby, I'm studying for a degree and I'm finding the pressure of work too much to deal with. Considering 'how I am', I have pretty decent job, I worked for the same company for 10 years and because I've held down a job for so long he doesn't see how I can be having so many issues. And I'm starting to wonder if the psychiatrist will have the same opinion?
Yes I've worked for the same company for 10 years but I work from home most of the time so don't have the pressure of having to be in an office for a certain time, I always booked meetings in the afternoon to give me plenty of time to arrive. I work for a really big company and because we have been through huge organisational change I've managed to 'hide' for quite a long time. My manager has changed and I only see my manager about 3/4 times per year so at the moment he has no idea about my shortcomings. My mind goes blank in meetings, I can't concentrate when people are talking to me, I just can't cope. I'm absolutely petrified about my boss coming with me to a meeting or asking to meet me. It feels like the net is closing in and it is a matter of time before he realises I'm sh1t at my job!
I can't focus, concentrate or prioritise my work, I've got months and months of work outstanding. I can't absorb any information so I'm not competent at stuff I should be able to do with my eyes closed. Work is making me really anxious at the moment, I've got 2 deadlines today, of which I've not even started. I just seem to stare at my computer screen all day and get nothing done.
My husband doesn't see how I can have an issue if I'm still there after 10 years and said if I'm having issues with my workload I should speak to my boss. What speak to my boss and tell him I'm useless?
I was in a meeting the other day and I asked someone a question, they started talking back at me and I totally zoned out, not only did I not hear a single word they said but I'd forgotten what question I'd asked them - I had to ask them what question I'd asked. I feel I'm stupid all of the time and my self confidence and self esteem is at rock bottom.
I've read that having old school reports is useful for the assessment but unfortunately could only find one from my first term at high school (my first report was the best report I'd ever had) and while the report says I was pleasant, helpful class member it is littered with, disorganised, needs to concentrate more, often forgets pens & books etc my husband just compares it with his report... 'my school report says I was disorganised too?
Will my husband have to do anything for my assessment? I obviously want him to tell the truth but worry he has the 'oh she is fine' response to any questions he is asked.
Don't get me wrong he is a lovely man whom is an amazing husband, he is calm and takes my mood swings, takes my untidiness, he organises and never gets angry with me. How can I make him understand what is it like or to take this seriously??