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Post by screenname on Jun 6, 2015 12:31:59 GMT
I feel really guilty that the odds are high that one or both my boys may inherit this wonderful thing we call adhd.
Any other parents feel guilt?
I also feel guilty that I may be an inattentive parent
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Post by blaze on Jun 6, 2015 14:33:12 GMT
Yep cpurse
But then being a parent means feeling peenebantly guilty.....
I figure I'm the best person to help them negotiate it
I feel much much guiltier that there's a chance (50%!!!!) That they will have inherited my hypermobile joint syndrome/ehlor danlos syndrome as that's way way worse.
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Post by chaoticwitch on Jun 7, 2015 15:01:19 GMT
I agree with blaze, as a parent with ADHD we are in the best place to help our children, both my teenage children have traits of ADHD, whether it is actually that or just learned behaviour from me I don't know for sure, but what I do know is that I am able to talk to them about any issues they have because I have an understanding of what they are going through. Something I never had as a child. And for sure I feel guilty that I am not always focused on them, that I may stop listening to them when they are excitedly telling me something. But they know me and they don't take offence. When they were younger I often went to my bedroom when they had friends round because the noise was too much for me, but they understand that. As with most teenagers they get stroppy with me when I can't do exactly what they want but they are quite tolerant, not just with me but with other people as well. Both my teenagers are kind, considerate, polite and well mannered. They think for themselves and have grown into fine young adults and I couldn't be prouder of them. They often tell me they are proud of me too for the things I have achieved over the years.
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Post by screenname on Jun 7, 2015 18:20:43 GMT
Thank you both for putting my mind at ease. I very much appreciate the support. I am breathing a sigh of relieve, thanks
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thunkpad
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Post by thunkpad on Jun 29, 2015 1:26:34 GMT
I was diagnosed inattentive type in March - when my oldest was two and a half and youngest was less than a year old. I suddenly became a far more capable and attentive parent after starting treatment so my guilt was more with the realisation of how incapable I'd been up to that point. I unknowingly coped pretty well (though not perfectly!) with ADHD before they came along, bringing the extra dose of chaos and sleep loss that only children can deliver. Now I have treatment I feel like I have a whole new lease of life so If one of them does inherit my ADHD I feel much better knowing that theirs will be diagnosed and treated early.
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Post by inaccessiblerail on Aug 5, 2016 13:11:51 GMT
I really worry about being inattentive sometimes. I'm just going to do everything I can to let my son know that I'll always prioritise spending my precious few units of attention on him above everything else - and be clear on the fact if I ever am inattentive then it's because of a mental illness and not because he's not worth the attention. And teach him the best ways to get my attention or let me know what he needs if I'm having an off day.
I've figured that being as honest and open about it as I can is the way forward.
I do also worry about him having it too. But at the same time, as everyone else has said, I'm glad that I'll at least have an understanding of it and will be able to support him with it.
I think there are benefits of ADHD too - I think it's given me a much greater understanding of mental health for example. It also means that I'm always curious and super interested in things and that I'm not afraid of screwing up because I'm so used to it ahaha. So I'm sure if he did inherit it he would also see some benefits. At least if I'm aware of it I can do my absolute best to help him play to his strengths.
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gypsey
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Post by gypsey on Jun 28, 2017 23:17:45 GMT
My guilt is I'm doing nothing to help my daughter, how do I find out if she has it? Can I insist on a brain scan?
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thunkpad
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Post by thunkpad on Jun 29, 2017 6:12:56 GMT
A brain scan isn't really part of diagnosis at the moment (that may change in the future). A referral to psychiatrist via your GP is the usual way forward. Objective tools such as QbTest or Braingaze can aid a diagnosis, but a formal diagnosis is still down to psychiatric assessment.
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