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Post by Bringmesunshine on Feb 2, 2016 22:38:09 GMT
Hi there, I have never written on a forum before so please bear with me! The reason I'm starting a thread is because im starting to wonder if I have ADD. The reason I've put this thread in the parenting is because I think that my 'symptoms' have worsened since having children. I was always called a 'hyperactive child' with a poor attention span but I don't think anyone in my family thought any more of it. However, since becoming a mother myself and having my children I've begun to notice so many symptoms. I struggle to pay attention and have to say to myself repeatedly 'listen to what they are saying' or similar to remind myself to focus. I get easily distracted and overwhelmed and have to move to a situation with less distractions if I have any chance of taking on board what someone is saying. As a result, I have an awful memory. I have difficulty in prioritising things which is becoming really irritating for me as I can get hyperfocused on something else. When I am hyperfocused, almost nothing will distract me. I live my life with to do lists but sometimes forget to look at them and feel like I spend my life playing catch up and living in a world of disorganisation. I often get a little bit panicky or twitchy because I realise, yet again, that I forgot to pay a bill despite numerous lists around the house. i can't help but think that having kids has emphasised these symptoms. I guess because I have a lot more to juggle and a lot less time on my own to think. I have two kids under the age of four and work four days a week and everything's fine but I can't help but thinking I would feel a bit less stressed if I could manage the way I am more effectively. As it is, my son is constantly saying things like 'mummy I asked for a glass of water' because I've since got distracted by something else and I feel like I run around the house trying to keep on top of things because I'm trying to stay in control. So when it comes to work (and I work from home) I see it as a time to get as much sorted as possible but am constantly chasing my tail. I don't really know what I'm asking as such here, I guess I want to know if any of it sounds similar to anyone, or if you think I'm barking up with wrong tree with the ADD Label. Also if anyone has any tips to improve memory and organisation, or books they found useful that would be great! Thank you in advance!
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Post by johnnynoodles on Feb 5, 2016 12:09:52 GMT
Hi Sunshine.
I can totally relate to what you have said. I maybe a guy, but I'm also a father of two and I on many occasions forget the main task, or the reason why I went downstairs or up. Autopilot kicks in very often, i'm opening the fridge or in my bedroom instead of the actual place I should be.
I'm an office worker, and most of my jobs are just on call as I do IT Support, which probably is one of the most suitable office jobs for me, as I don't need to be in my seat all day. Talking to people including parents, they just say, everyone does that, forget your keys, loose the remote, just that it is a bit more regular with ADHD people. I can put my efforts in to a task, but that would usually leave me drained come 3pm or home time, so my evenings were quite uneventful as i was too tired from using all my mind at work. Even watching TV I would just fall asleep, but the excuse was, hard day at work, and commute.
Usual scenario, GP doesn't see anything wrong, especially if you have managed to hold down jobs for a couple of years or more. My case I went private, could be the best £250 I have ever spent as according to my GP, whom I had to see after my private professional referral, then the GP could send me to a specialist to then, decide if I am or not. At first that didn't go to wel, really had to stress my situation, and thankfully my wife was able to speak for me and explain all the things I do. Even had to call my mother, who was and still is highly offended of the idea I have ADHD. One stupid thing the physicist said was I don't have ADHD as I haven't got a criminal record, and that I have a family i'm still with, and had many jobs.
Eventually I was given Concerta XL, which has made me much more alert, and able to read and understand things much better now, no more falling asleep on the train home, or when I get home, and no more dosing or eyes glazing over at work. Could type a book so jist is, I understand what you are saying. All the best. Noodles
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lovebug
Member's not posted much yet
I love parts of my ADHD personality... Just hate the lack of concentration.. :-/
Posts: 9
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Post by lovebug on Feb 10, 2016 9:36:12 GMT
I have only just been diagoned at 36. I am the same with hyper focused due to being stimulated and I cannot leave something alone until it's finished. Everything else that doesn't stimulate me I'm pants at lol
xx
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Post by contrarymary on Feb 10, 2016 10:58:56 GMT
Hi there, I have never written on a forum before so please bear with me! The reason I'm starting a thread is because im starting to wonder if I have ADD. The reason I've put this thread in the parenting is because I think that my 'symptoms' have worsened since having children. I was always called a 'hyperactive child' with a poor attention span but I don't think anyone in my family thought any more of it. However, since becoming a mother myself and having my children I've begun to notice so many symptoms. I struggle to pay attention and have to say to myself repeatedly 'listen to what they are saying' or similar to remind myself to focus. I get easily distracted and overwhelmed and have to move to a situation with less distractions if I have any chance of taking on board what someone is saying. As a result, I have an awful memory. I have difficulty in prioritising things which is becoming really irritating for me as I can get hyperfocused on something else. When I am hyperfocused, almost nothing will distract me. I live my life with to do lists but sometimes forget to look at them and feel like I spend my life playing catch up and living in a world of disorganisation. I often get a little bit panicky or twitchy because I realise, yet again, that I forgot to pay a bill despite numerous lists around the house. i can't help but think that having kids has emphasised these symptoms. I guess because I have a lot more to juggle and a lot less time on my own to think. I have two kids under the age of four and work four days a week and everything's fine but I can't help but thinking I would feel a bit less stressed if I could manage the way I am more effectively. As it is, my son is constantly saying things like 'mummy I asked for a glass of water' because I've since got distracted by something else and I feel like I run around the house trying to keep on top of things because I'm trying to stay in control. So when it comes to work (and I work from home) I see it as a time to get as much sorted as possible but am constantly chasing my tail. I don't really know what I'm asking as such here, I guess I want to know if any of it sounds similar to anyone, or if you think I'm barking up with wrong tree with the ADD Label. Also if anyone has any tips to improve memory and organisation, or books they found useful that would be great! Thank you in advance! Hi Bringmesunshine I'm guessing you've had so few responses is because it's been pretty busy these last few days. And because as almost all of us have ADHD, most of us struggle with concentration which can make it very hard to read blocks of text - although many of us would also write that way ourselves: thank God for the edit button Hope you don't mind but I've broken up the text to make it more accessible. Hopefully you'll get a few more responses. If not, it might be worth reposting it in the Introductions thread, because people often keep a particular eye out there to welcome new arrivals.
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Post by clubby on Feb 10, 2016 11:50:31 GMT
Bringmesunshine. You are describing my world exactly.
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drum
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 7
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Post by drum on Sept 16, 2016 21:50:07 GMT
Hi,
Just joined and your post has been the most enlightening bit of reading in a long time. Something I totally relate to. I have been late for work at least twice a week since my paper round and milk round as a boy. Oddly I have never been sacked. When I was in the Navy, I was run (sort of court marshalled) by the regulators (the navy police) to the extent they knew me well. Anyway, enough of that. Thats just to give you a tiny idea of how manic the last 40 years have been but somehow I have still managed to be semi successful.
A little more enlightenment sorry. I spent the first 30 years pretty much single for obvious reasons and there has been a constant pattern that I struggle terribly with relationships. Being single unfortunately makes life a hell of a lot easier as I could blast around the house like a maniac fitting a bathroom whilst getting the dishes done (often the water goes cold and I have to fill the bowl again) and even doing my accounts at the same time. The unintentional philosophy behind this, is that whatever room I walk into, there is something there that needs doing and I do a little bit before I wander off for a cigarette through the kitchen to the garden and "oh the bloody dishes" and fill the bowl again, then see through the window that the lawnmower has been sat there plugged in ready to go since 10am, possibly!? But it was all good. A manic and rather embarrassing system that worked well.
Where you come in is that when in relationships my system obviously falls apart. It would be inconsiderate of me to be plastering my walls or doing the droplinks on one of our cars at 4am. As you can imagine things have slowly been falling apart over the last four years since I've been with my beautiful and incredibly understanding partner. I have never been diagnosed with anything but I spent a large part of my childhood either grounded for not doing my homework or for my behaviour or in a corridor outside a classroom for not paying attention or again for my behaviour. Yet since I was a small boy teachers, family, friends and colleagues have always and still do bang on about how fucking clever I am!
I was so enlightened by your post because we have an absolutely stunning 9 week old baby boy and I am now just overwhelmed with distractions. Our house is tiny and I/we outgrew it years ago. I know what I need to do to make our lives better but I just cant seem to get round to getting anything done any more! Moving would solve so much just by having more space but I have a CCJ and I'm self employed. Due to my to do list being so far out date nowadays I feel we are stuck in a bit of an unpleasant and quite hostile rut.
If you ever do seek diagnosis or receive good advice it would help me pluck up the courage to do the same. I'm not so worried about myself as to be honest I have come to terms with my "there's something wrong with me" with my crazy systems and have many hobbies and interests go keep depression at bay. Diagnosis would help me explain and give me the courage to talk to people, in particular my partner which might help her to cope with an idiot dick for a boyfriend. Thus in turn helping me to sort out our future together as a family for the better and let me put a new generation of crazy systems in place that will suit all three of us.
I just burnt my lasagne.........lol
I suppose I'd just like to help my beloved understand why I am the way I am and why I do all the silly the things I do. I used to find it amusing, now its become a hindrance on the future happiness of my family.
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ADDitudeHello drum,
Guest
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Post by ADDitudeHello drum, on Sept 21, 2017 21:32:40 GMT
Hello drum, just read your post from 2016 which slightly broke my heart. Can empathise. Both I and my partner likely are ADD (my partner) and ADHD (me). We both found that using a life coach has helped with us achieving aims and hence with self forgives and self esteem. If you can afford it, or can find someone who is qualifying and so will do it for free, we recommend it. I can tell you, if I could do tasks in the middle of the night and get away with it, I would. My partner more 'functional' than me though, I wish you good luck with it all. A lucky baby to have a passionate, energised, thoughtful father. I hope you can make your life work for you.
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heleng
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 1
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Post by heleng on Feb 13, 2018 18:04:36 GMT
Sooooo familiar! I had never heard of adult ADHD until a year ago aged 48, but after my second and fourth children I’d been treated for a sort of depression- mainly irritability, excess sleeping and morning middle. I also had an episode of excess cognition in association with a period of ( work related) sleep deprivation. Years later after a similar situation of too many life events in one go I was diagnosed with bipolar and treated, but deteriorated alarmingly in mood stabilisers. Fortunately for me a change in psychiatrist disputed the diagnosis and I gradually came off everything, and subsequently received the ADHD diagnosis, and responded well to treatment. What ties it all together for me is that each episode had similar symptoms of destabilised ADHD, my innate systems failing and being all at sea with memory loss, distraction, inner tension and slow thoughts varying with too many thoughts. I think that the hormonal changes and she played a part, but the sleep deprivation and multiple demands on my organisational ability were the clincher. The best book I’ve read by far is driven to distraction, and it’s counterpart working to distraction. Lots of stories, practical suggestions and sense, I listen to them having found that listening to audiobooks is the one way I can clear my mind of distractions. Good luck, parenting plus ADHD is seriously difficult!
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