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Post by Deleted on May 18, 2009 8:27:56 GMT
hi everyone sorry I have not been on here for a while I have been really busy as I am moving house which is quite stressful. Anyway I never went to my first appointment as I completely forgot about it!! I got another appointment which is for today and I am just sooo nervous I just dont think that i can go to it, i just dont feel prepared enough for it or anything- i hate feeling like this x
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Post by Deleted on May 18, 2009 8:44:53 GMT
Hello Pippa. You don't really need to be prepared - just remember to be there and fully dressed Being in distress is 'normal' for us so any pro should be ready for you - and it informs them of your state. And they don't bite. Promise!
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Post by Deleted on May 18, 2009 11:03:43 GMT
hi pippa dave's right, you don't need to be prepared, even though you think you do. you just have to turn up, and talk. i know how you feel right now, with this big appointment looming, and the panic building, and you probably want to just shout "f*** it!" and spend the rest of the day in bed! but you HAVE to be tough with yourself! i promise, you will feel fantastic when it's over! (it's a bit like bungee jumping!) -i remember going for my assesment, i'd waited 9 months for the appointment, had 3 hours sleep the night before, and getting on the bus that morning, every bit of me wanted to call up and cancel, or just not turn up. i don't know how, but i went, and it was the most rewarding thing i've ever done!.. so good luck pippa!.. -matt
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Post by twix on May 18, 2009 16:56:51 GMT
Hope it went OK
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Post by roland on May 18, 2009 17:39:10 GMT
Hi Pippa,
How did today go?
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2009 10:38:59 GMT
Hi there, thankyou for all of your messages, I really welcome the support form you guys as I dont know what id do without you all. I know you will be dissapointed in me.. becasue I didnt go.. I cancelled and arranged another appointment for the 8th of June. It is just an appointment for my Local mental health team I dont think it is an assesment or anything but I will have to prove that ive got ADHD and I just dont feel strong enough at the mo. I just feel everything is really getting on top of me at the mo' I am a single mum with my supportive boyfriend in prison and I am moving into a house next week I just feel sooo overwhelmed because me and my little one are staying with my mum etc at the mo and I dont know how I can manage cancelling everything getting electric put on etc etc. Sorry to rant on xxx
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2009 10:51:37 GMT
Pippa - your circumstances are extremely stressful so it's understandable you wanted to bail out on this appointment.
But it really is like falling off a log - all you need worry about is remembering to go.
Have you got a friend who can go with you?
I help out with a support group - if you were in our area you would get your 'hand held' by someone who knows the ropes or has done it already.
Is there any kind of support group in your area?
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2009 10:52:54 GMT
Pippa,
everyone on this forum knows what its like to have too many things to deal with at once, so don't beat yourself up about it, if you couldn't deal with getting a dx at the same time as all the other things on your plate then you've done the right thing by postponing it.
Moving house is very stressful whether you've got ADHD or not, so try not to get stressed about being stressed, if you see what i mean.
Make a list of the most important things to deal with first, gas electric telephone water, and make sure you do them, even if its a struggle it needs to get done.
Everything else can get sorted out eventually, and it probably isn't so urgent, so just concentrate on the big ones and forget about the little things for now.
If you start from the position that you don't expect to get everything sorted at once then you won't feel as stressed about the things that you haven't done yet
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Post by roland on May 26, 2009 14:50:26 GMT
Hi Pippa, Just wanted to say that we're definitely not disappointed with you! You cancelled the appointment because you've got far too much going on already so you did the right thing! I can't better the advice that planetdave and lemonsnake have given you so I'll just add hang in there, try to take things one step at a time, and everything will get sorted
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2009 21:38:38 GMT
Thankyou everyone I really appreciate all of your comments. I hope to report back here nearer the appointment date asking for your support again xxx
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2009 12:42:24 GMT
hey pippa, i wanted to agree with roland, nobody on here would be disappointed with you! we all know how difficult it is to deal with anxiety, i missed being the best man, at my best friends wedding, because of it!... -so missing a doctors appointment is fine! ;D keep your chin up! -matt
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2009 22:48:19 GMT
Tomorrow is D-Day third time lucky- hopefully I will go to it I am so nervous it is unreal but I know that i've got to go just dont feel prepared. Any last bits of advice? xx
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2009 10:06:53 GMT
Good luck Pippa
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Post by roland on Jun 8, 2009 10:16:10 GMT
Hi Pippa, I hope I'm not too late with this, but I've no real additional advice except to take a deep breath and go with it! Let us know how it goes, and good luck I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2009 20:22:25 GMT
Oh My God I had my appointment today and it really was the worst experience of my life and I feel like this is it now I am never gonna get this sorted out and I just wish that I had £800 to go privately. I had the worst DR you could imagine that was sooo patronizing to me. I had to bring my 18mnth old with me as there is not anyone else to look after her and 10 mins into the appt he said to me we can not carry on with this appt as I have brought my daughter with me and I am too distracted! She was just sitting in her buggy reading a book not even making a sound! I said I am her only carer then he kept banging on about how i told him i had family support etc etc like he was trying to contradict me so i said that yes i do have family support but everyone does have to work full time during the week so can not look after my daughter. He wanted to know why my partner is in prison which I could just tell by the look on his face he did not believe me when I said that he was set up. He saidwhy did I choose to be with a man like that!! I said he is a decent man actually and we have high morals and family values. He was persistent in keep asking me do I take drugs! I said no he said what ever ever?! I said no i have never touched drugs in my life and never would and I just smoke cigarettes. Im sorry I hope i am making sense here I just need somewhere to turn to. I asked is he trained in diagnosing ADHD in adults and he just kept sayign that he sees a few ppl with it now and then, he couldnt answer me seriously at all. He is rescheduling me an appt with a lady DR and I asked if she was experienced etc etc and he just gave me the same excuse and also said that hopefully I havent got something as nasty as ADHD and could have something else especially after having a baby- i think he was implying postnatal depression. Anyway I really dont knwo if there is anyone out there who cares but I am totally screwed now and just know I cant go to another appointment as this has really knocked my confidence for six! I just had to write here, thanks for listening xx
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2009 20:54:42 GMT
I would bubble him to ACAS like roland surrgested to some one else with a simillar issue what piece of scum. Hang in there you have come this far lets do a petition to get him struck off. Maybee a bit harsh but not realy i dont know what to say with a baby that must be tough one of the main reasons i discovered ADD is i couldnt cope with my two babys.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2009 21:06:05 GMT
I just dont know what to do as I hate drama and I just feel really low at the moment.
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Post by twix on Jun 22, 2009 21:21:09 GMT
Hi Pippa, hope you are OK. I just got my diagnosis after a bad start with the NHS they came through for me eventually so please don't give up. Even if you are depressed it doesn't mean you don't have ADHD and trying to get it all sorted is hard. I have only got myself to worry which makes it easier for me I know. Can you get any general support from surestart or homestart or anyone like that? Anyway, we do care, keep posting and we can support you through this.
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Post by haydreamer on Jun 22, 2009 23:42:42 GMT
Hi Pippa, how are you feeling? I just had to write to let you know I had an identical assessment at my local mental health centre- with a totally incompetent and old near to retirement, no adhd knowledge doctor, who admitted he hadn't a clue what I was talking about- i was in tears too, What I suggest is to ring ICAS, like safeand sound mentioned, I am the person Roland gave advice to, go to www.seap.org.uk, they are brilliant, find the tel number of the region where you live on the map on the website, they are friendly people and ask them for their advice. Explain you wish your PCT to refer you to an adhd specialist specilaist-someone who knows exactly where you are coming from. Ask them to investigate this for you-they will do this for free and in confidentiality. Hopefully, you can start this stage first-see what happens and come to the forum for some more help, either myself or anyone here-we are all a friendly bunch!!!!! Unfortunatley I had to be forced to pay £400 for private dx, because my PCT rejected me for funding twice and I just had enough!! still fighting with my gp and mp to get meds on the NHS. keep us posted , we are here to support you,
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Post by andy12345 on Jun 23, 2009 0:22:50 GMT
Ahem.................. www.SEAP.org.uk (no commas please) o.O www.pals.nhs.uk/cmsContentView.aspx?Itemid=944 Complaints about nhs services. Jesus!!!!!! Is this going to be an ongoing battle or what? EDIT (Has there ever been a more appropriate website for allowing post edits.....) What a rude man. Certainly not in the right job at all. Fits the "caring professional reversal" though. Patient rights........The patients are in charge of their destinies, not the crap, rude narcissists. Let's just remember that doctor's are certainly no more trustworthy than anyone else..... In most cases, the worst people are in the high end jobs, what a surprise huh? Surely, it would not be just for the money?
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Post by roland on Jun 23, 2009 8:03:08 GMT
Hi pippa, I'm so sorry to hear that this doctor turned out to be such an a**e and it's so disappointing for you . But pippa it sounds to me as if you stood up for yourself because you asked him if he was trained in diagnosing ADHD in adults and he couldn't give you a proper answer (I bet he's not used to being questioned and not having answers) and then on top of that you asked him if the lady dr is experienced (I bet he's double not used to that ;D). Good for you pippa!! I'm wondering if you feel like your confidence has evaporated because you're not giving yourself enough credit for standing up to someone who sounds like a pompous and sexist b*****d! Anybody would find that difficult. Now back to business! You are not totally screwed; he is! I really recommend that you ring ICAS and tell them you want to file a complaint (if it helps think about it as striking a blow for all the other people who will encounter this horrid man). Tell ICAS you've got a lot on your plate and they will do the work for you. They will even come to your house and help you with the whole process! Tell them that the resolution you want from the complaint is for your primary care trust to fund your referral to a fully qualified adult ADHD specialist. pippa, we care, and so will ICAS
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2010 23:48:38 GMT
Hi everyone I am back! I have had a terrible time and realise that the only way that I am going to get anywhere is to save up ang get diagnosed privately. Does anyone know how much this would cost and also if I would be able to get treatment on the NHS? Please help me I have been at standstill for almost a Year now and just want to be able to live my life to the fullest !
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Post by annie on Apr 7, 2010 18:09:58 GMT
Hi pippa
Sorry you've had such a bad time.
The appointment you had with the psychiatrist last year was absolutely appalling - and they pay these people - he sounded like an absolute bully!!
Rates for private Assessments vary - possibly from around £300 - £800 but you shouldn't really have to do this. Obviously the guy you saw had no experience whatsoever in assessing/treating Adhd - what was the lady Dr like?
Services within the NHS are improving albeit it very slowly! There are new services starting across the country so if you could tell us which county/town you live in perhaps we can steer you and your Gp to an "expert" within your area. If there's no local expert we can help you get funding from your Primary Care Trust to one of the established Adult Adhd Clinics.
I have to say I thought you did really well in asking the last psychiatrist about his experience of treating Adhd - he didn't have an answer did he!
Let us know how we can help
annie
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Post by sirrah on Apr 8, 2010 10:01:28 GMT
Clearly, your biggest problem here is that you're overthinking this thing way too much. Overanalyzing every possible outcome and being paralysed into making a decision and sticking to it. Then, taking any knockback as a reason to put it off even more.
This is a big problem for people with ADHD, especially so if anxiety is one of your main issues. To tell you to stop thinking this way and "just do it" would be insulting. But the cruel fact is, until you find a way to work around this, to find way to empower yourself; nothing is going to happen, and nothing is going to change for you.
I speak from experience, and I can relate to your situation entirely. Part of my solution was to face these facts.
If you don't get help, you will continue to suffer. If you cannot afford to go private, you need to persevere with the NHS route. If the majority of practioners are ignorant (which they are!) and you don't have the confidence to assert yourself enough to get around them; you need to empower yourself with knowledge, get everything written down that you want to say (your raw thoughts and feelings, with anxiety out of the equation.) and take it with you. Read it, don't leave it in your pocket and don't be interrupted. If you get knocked back, it's their mistake, not yours. Try again, with the same plan. (don't rethink it.)
Yes, it's incredibly easy to become discouraged at any one of these steps, but if you give up, it's only you that loses out.
I wish you the best of luck.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2010 22:45:03 GMT
Just to say am thinking of you and sending you a big HUG !
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