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Post by Bee on Sept 17, 2014 13:45:29 GMT
So this is my thread. I claim it as my own! *sticks little flag in it* Been on Concerta XL for .... 38ish weeks! 9 months anyhoo. Very slow titration. Anxiety issues etc. Anyway, after a coupla months or so it would always kind of stop working.. So I would up the dose (after speaking to Psych). Got to 54mg and started to feel.... Empty. Nothing would make me happy. I felt low a lot of the time. Emotionless. AND it seemed to have stopped working again. So now, today, I have started taking Equasym XL, which although is still the same drug, apparently it's a little gentler because of the process n which it's made (I can't remember the word :s ) 30mg when I wake up, and 30mg about 5 hours later to get me through work. Took my first one this afternoon and within 45 minutes my head was so quiet. Not something I get from Concerta anymore. Tidied our bedroom been meaning (needing) to do it for »aaages«! One black bag and one charity bag of clothes later and there is now space to probably swing a real cat!! I'm not going to try though. Still a mess but when you know what it was like before.... Proper health hazard - and I'm not really joking. Having a rest because I'm feeling a wee bit funny. Kinda dizzy. I know it's a side effect and I'm hoping it wears off before the meds do. I've got downstairs to tackle next!!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2014 19:07:12 GMT
Cop out!! mess amateur!.. weekend mess maker!!!! I'm defiant about my mess (I think avoiding the salmonella and e.coli and mutant radioactive zog virus zones of my bedroom floor (even while I'm asleep) keeps me properly on my toes.. I'm not dead yet, so I'm probably immune to meteorite attack by now. Quite sure of it) Yes.. on Equasym too atm.. been a big big help, but I'm thinking I prefer the lowest dose (10 mg.. currently on 20mg).. to make the -making my own happiness etc- that little bit more within reach, and sustainable.. I've got loads of time (I umm.. guess that might not have gone unnoticed ), so getting outside and walking are what I see (on my own/internal terms) as the cure, and the meds are a facilitator.. this is my own view, for myself.. but I think it's important to be open about stuff... all of it, pretty much. For me (but perhaps in all of us) I think there's definitely more 'wrong' than the pure ADHD though.. not that I see any of it as "wrong" exactly Eating lots of nuts.. and forcing myself to depend slightly on foraged blackberries is v nice at this time of year (round here) too.. Happy Thursday, Ms Bzz Bee! X
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Post by Bee on Sept 18, 2014 19:23:52 GMT
Haha! I wouldn't mind the mess myself if it were just me living in the house, and people didn't keep threatening to drop by! However I get quite conscious of it after a while because I know it can't be nice for my partner. Although he is also terribly disorganised he seems to suffer with mild depression when the house gets TOO messy, and he doesn't seem to be very good at tidying it up himself :S But otherwise, I don't have a problem! I know where stuff is - that nice dress is in the heap over there, underneath the broken heater probably on the side closest to that canvas. Although I have inexplicably lost one slipper. I wear them regularly so they're never far away! And I have one of them... But his friend is no where to be found! Anyway, I think you're right, there's always more going on than 'just' adhd - as if that wasn't bad enough. But I do think that most of the other stuff we've all got going on, has probably been caused by the adhd over time. I'm hoping that understanding my adhd will have a knock on effect for my other little... Quirks! Thank you for the lovely message, imatwit! Happy Thursday to you too
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2014 19:34:03 GMT
Ahh ok.. yes, never really had those kind of problems. Just me n my mess. And yes.. pretty central this ADHD thing.. lots of wide ranging knock on problems we'll never ever successfully put our fingers on (not enough fingers, or moments in a lifetime) I have no slippers at all, so enjoy feeling smug-lite for a moment or 2
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Post by Bee on Oct 7, 2014 9:12:21 GMT
No patience for partner with Man-Flu. It makes me quite unreasonably angry.
We have had holiday from work twice in 3 months and he has come down with Man-Flu both times.
It's not his fault he's ill.
But I still want to push him out of bed!
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Post by Bee on Oct 9, 2014 22:52:08 GMT
AWOLNATION - "Sail" Play it LOUD
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Post by Bee on Dec 14, 2014 4:50:14 GMT
I've been here since April, and now I can finally say that I have a damn fine avatar!! It may have taken me 8 months and some very anxious secret-squirrel computer work at work, but it has been worth it!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2014 12:36:52 GMT
I see you've had your teeth whitened
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Post by Bee on Dec 14, 2014 13:04:31 GMT
Oh yeah - they glow in the dark now!
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Post by Bee on Jan 31, 2015 1:38:48 GMT
Had my very last meeting with my psych today, after a year of treatment I can say that MPH has not worked for me. I'm still scatty as ever.
My psych was unavailable so I saw someone new for my last meeting. He zoned in on my anxiety.
My anxiety that I thought I'd beaten, but somehow keep getting stress symptoms from.
Turns out my anxiety is NOT beaten, and is probably why the treatment has not worked for me.
So now (well soonish), they'll begin treating my anxiety and once that's dealt with I can restart some ADHD meds!
I'll have another meeting with my psych in 3 months to review how my anti-anxiety meds are working out.....
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Post by contrarymary on Jan 31, 2015 8:26:31 GMT
hello Bee shame it's proving a bit more complicated, but hopefully this is progress
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Post by Bee on Feb 13, 2015 17:16:27 GMT
GP has been advised to prescribe Pregabalin for my anxiety, to get that under-wraps before they can treat my ADHD.
Took my first 50mg tab this afternoon at 1400. Can't say I noticed any difference.. Had to go to bed for a kip from about 1530-1700 (so I can be ready for work tonight, not because I was tired)
I've just woken up.
I feel crystal clear in my head. Usually I wake up feeling pretty grotty. Brain fog, don't want to be awake, etc.
After this nap, I feel clearer than I usually do. - Clearer than I ever did on mph.
I don't know how (/if) it's affected my anxiety yet, I haven't had to do anything stressful. I imagine everything would be much less stressful if this clarity continues!
I suppose it might have just been a really good nap. But I don't nap well anyway, and I more or less just went BAM straight off to sleep!
Before the nap I noticed I was having a slight tightness in my chest, making it hard to breathe enough, I kept having to take really deep breaths. Apparently I do this when I'm stressed (I never noticed).
I don't feel that I'm stressed. Or anxious. But half of the problem seems to be that I DON'T notice when I'm stressed or anxious..
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Post by Bee on Mar 1, 2015 8:39:31 GMT
50mg week 1 100mg week 2 150mg weeks 3&4 Then a visit to review at the GP surgery.
50mg & 100mg didn't seem to have any overall effect on anything. No side-effects, no help with stress/anxiety symptoms.
Visited my partner's Dad on the Thursday. I was sick to my stomach with anxiety. Seemed as bad or maybe even »worse« than the last time!
150mg. Day one (Thursday). Woke up dizzy, stayed dizzy for several hours. My sight was all weird. Like tunnel vision, but it wasn't all dark. Just that my peripheral wasn't working properly.
Day Three. Keep having dizzy weirdy moments. Pain in my chest - seems to indicate stress/anxiety..
No obvious decrease in anxiety.
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Post by Bee on Jun 1, 2015 8:04:56 GMT
Tough day.
One of my residents is dying. It's imminent.
As a Care Assistant I'm not supposed to have favourites... But...
He's such a sweetheart. A really gentle, good soul.
He does my head in! In the middle of the night he will shout at the top of his lungs "GOOD MOOOORNIIIING!!!!" Always so full of beans!
We watched the 'Red Bull X Fighters' together some months back. It was motorbike stunts or something.. His little face! He was like a little kid again!
And now he's fading. And unresponsive. And he's almost-nearly 100 so it's a good age... He's done well.
But God Almighty, I am too attached to be dealing with this well.
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Post by contrarymary on Jun 1, 2015 19:49:03 GMT
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Post by chaoticwitch on Jun 2, 2015 6:41:25 GMT
Sorry to hear that Bee, I work with a lot of elderly and vulnerable people and it is hard to see them going down hill like that. Hugs to you
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Post by Bee on Jun 2, 2015 10:40:06 GMT
Thanks contrarymary and chaoticwitchIt's quite hard doing my job at times like this. I kind of see all my residents as extended family. Like bloody LOADS of grandparents! - Grandparents that sometimes make me want to bang my head against a wall lol. This particular Grandad passed away not long after I posted. At least he's peaceful now
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Post by Bee on Jul 9, 2015 13:44:17 GMT
I've directed my GP to this site I went to see him to get a new script for some Pregabalin, he asked how I was getting on and how my ADHD is. I told him how beneficial this site was right from the beginning, and how it feels a bit like coming home. Having people rant about losing stuff that was JUST IN THEIR HAND lol. He made a note of it to put in his info file. He's a good GP. I won't see anyone else.
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Post by manson88 on Jul 9, 2015 14:25:47 GMT
I've directed my GP to this site I went to see him to get a new script for some Pregabalin, he asked how I was getting on and how my ADHD is. I told him how beneficial this site was right from the beginning, and how it feels a bit like coming home. Having people rant about losing stuff that was JUST IN THEIR HAND lol. He made a note of it to put in his info file. He's a good GP. I won't see anyone else. Is the pregabalin effective for you ? I have been on it now for 11 months for anxiety I'm on 75mg twice daily.
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Post by Bee on Jul 9, 2015 15:15:08 GMT
I'm not sure yet, I took it for about 6 weeks starting in Jan this year, then couldn't see anyone for a new script. Started it again today. All I know is it makes me dizzy I suppose I've got to wait a few weeks to see any benefit. I'm on 50mg twice a day for two weeks, and then will also be on 75mg twice a day. Before, they were trying to get me to take it 3 times a day, but I kept forgetting the middle dose!
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Post by Bee on Aug 8, 2015 1:57:43 GMT
Still taking my Pregabalin, still not noticed any great decrease in anxiety (which I can't even feel most of the time anyway) But I HAVE noticed an increase in my ADHD symptoms, which I was not expecting.. When I took MPH it made my anxiety worse = made my ADHD worse. So figured less anxiety might mean less ADHD...? In the past week I have dyed all my laundry purple, flooded the shower room and kitchen and f*cked up so many things I can't believe it. I feel more scatty! Which must surely be making my anxiety WORSE?? It's definitely making me feel incredibly stupid. Plus I'm getting married in 3 weeks and 4 days, and it doesn't feel quite real yet even though I've got the dress and everything... I've got quite a nasty pain in my chest which is becoming ever more present. But still I don't FEEL stressed. My body is telling me I am. My body is letting me know things have got to calm down soon or shit's gonna happen. But I'm just going along, the same as usual, trying not to fuss about this pain. Looking forward to getting married and going on our honeymoon. Wishing these meds would hurry up and work.
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Post by Bee on Feb 27, 2016 16:02:33 GMT
Hive, I haven't visited you in such a long time!
Recently took part in a phone interview about ADHD and social anxiety. Did point out that the phone makes me anxious, but it was ok. Was very difficult at times, to express my thoughts and feelings, and I'm not sure how helpful I was because I just seemed to be repeating myself in different ways. But I got through it. Took about an hour and twenty mins I think.
Also we've made an offer on a house, and it's been accepted! Still stuff to finalise, so it still might go pear-shaped but it's a step forward!
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Post by Bee on Mar 11, 2016 22:10:35 GMT
Buying a house is hard! "Fill out all this paperwork that's nearly impossible to decipher let alone actually complete, we need it in right now."
'Please provide proof that you were born with your identity and have continued to retain this identity to the present day. Evidence must cover each year of your life. Birth certificates, driving licences and bank statements are not acceptable forms of identification as these cam be faked. If you cannot provide the required evidence of identity for the full length of time you will be subject to a further charge of £500 and an admin charge of £70,000. If you have any issues with this form please contact จชซฎฏ ฐฑฒ ตถทธศษส where they will no doubt belittle you and repeat everything again in a way that still makes no sense even after 20 times. And we'll charge you another £50 for our time (+ a £60 admin charge).
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Post by contrarymary on Mar 11, 2016 22:35:20 GMT
((((( Bee))))) meanwhile, how are the meds going? i ws thinking about anxiety and adhd earlier, the chicken-and-egg-ness of it all
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Post by Bee on Mar 12, 2016 2:55:16 GMT
Sadly no new meds yet, gotta wait for this whole Wiltshire ccg funding thing to be sorted out now! Feels like I'll never get to try them. Thanks for thinking of me though I've considered the chicken-egg ADHD-anxiety thing too. My psych thinks I would have had anxiety anyway, but the ADHD has def not done me any favours!!
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Post by Bee on Apr 2, 2016 23:39:05 GMT
On the 21st April I will have been here for 2 whole years! and I've finally been upgraded to Senior Member - check out my green stars! I don't seem to have progressed very much since I joined. Still no ADHD meds, and I keep forgetting (for maybe weeks at a time) to take my Anxiety meds - so, oddly enough, they're not really working lol. Can't try ADHD meds until anxiety is low. Anxiety won't be low until I remember to take my meds. Can't remember to take my meds because I have this weird thing where I have a crap memory and get distracted by everything.... Downloaded an app called 'HabitBull' - it's designed to help people form good habits. I've set mine to remind (gently nag) me to take my bloody meds!! Today; 100%
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Post by marionk on Apr 4, 2016 8:34:14 GMT
Tape your tablets to the phone so you can find them when the alarm goes off. ADHD has it's own stresses, dx or not. Moving house has a whole stack too, and so does buying. tbh I wouldn't want to be messing with new meds that might not even work, on top of moving house. If you're avoiding major panic attacks you're doing really well.
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Post by Bee on Apr 8, 2016 8:06:46 GMT
6 days in a row 100% medication success rate! That's got to be some kind of record for me lol!
Android users who often forget to take meds; there's a free app called HabitBull. Get it!
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Post by Bee on May 27, 2016 12:42:39 GMT
I've had a pretty successful day today! Got lots of niggly naggly bits sorted.
Ok. We've bought the house! Hurrah!! No more harrassment from estate agents, stress levels have temporarily reduced. We should be moving into our house on the 29th of June, but because we have to give our current landlord a months notice, we've got the whole month to move our rubbish across! Fantastic! It'll be leisurely and relaxed. > As long as we actually pack our stuff up BEFORE the date of our vacating this current premises.
The buggerations of this whole house buying are: Damp - Got to have someone in to drill holes and make a general mess to fix the damp. This cannot start until the 15th and could take 2 weeks. There goes my dreams of decorating the place and having it all completed before we move in.. would've beeb a mission anyway I guess. Rendering - a (nice) bloke should be coming to replace the rendering on the front of the house. Probably noisy. Change of address - telling all the companies that have somehow got my address over the last couple of years that we've moved. I've started sending post back with a note saying 'NO LONGER AT THIS ADDRESS' in the hopes they'll get the bloody hint.
plenty more too I'm sure.
Pregabalin is NOT working and GP seems to have given up. still no news about the funding and what's happening regarding ADHD services.
Because I went to the GP about my anxiety I've been refused Income Protection - I expect they looked at my medical records and went 'nah, she'll be taking loads of time off for that'. I've not taken a single day off work due to my anxiety. and over the last 2 years I think I've maybe had 5 nights off. The irony is that if I hadn't tried to seek help, if I'd kept it all in and just carried on as best I could until the point I explode and can't function anymore, I would've been granted Income Protection and they would have had to pay out for my time off work..
So now, if I break my leg or have anxiety issues and need to take time off work my mortgage won't be paid.. I've got Life Insurance though.. so if I die at least my husband would be safe!
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Post by Bee on May 27, 2016 13:52:15 GMT
Oh, and I've had an avatar make-over Slightly more representative of me now!
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