Post by oldwolf on Mar 27, 2015 18:11:36 GMT
I have a a problem. My mother.
Our history is... Chaotic. She knows i have ADHD and all the other peripheral problems associated with it, she even tried to get me seen for it, which was difficult back then as it wasnt a recognised condition.
Nevertheless, for my entire life i have been constantly berated, belittled and blamed for everything by her and my entire family. The words 'lazy' 'liar' and 'have no life' have been a constant drain on my self respect and every attempt to control or change how i behave.
She is also absolutely convinced that she is more important than i am, she has literally said that on many occasions.
.... My own mother said that. And on a couple of occasions that i would 'amount to nothing'
Around 3 months ago, i finally had enough after she screwed me over for her own benefit (thats another story altogether). Since then i have improved enormously, my personal appearance and hygiene have improved, i have managed to get most of my financial burdens sorted, i feel better about myself (more often than used to anyway) and i have finally managed to get a diagnosis for the ADHD. I'm not saying i am perfect or that i can live normally; i canw, i know that but so much has changed for the better.
In the mean time, since i left, my mother has not tried once to get in contact with me. I got the odd accusation via text messgae, repeats of the usual 'you did this, you did that, why are you being difficult blah blah blah' but other than that, nothing. She hasnt bothered to come to flat, despite living literally 30 seconds away from me, either.
Today i got an envelope with a note in it through my letterbox, she wants me to fix her laptop. No coming to see me because its been months ot because she wants to try fix this. Just, she wants something, from me. As always, as everyone does, they only talk to me when they wamt something.
The problem is, that note might be a means to an end, an excuse to open talks. I dont know. And i dont know whether i should risk all the progress i have made just to mollify her. Resuming our relationship may undo all the work i have done. I wont sacrifice it for someone who has been a constant drain on my psychological well being, even if that person is my mother.
Our history is... Chaotic. She knows i have ADHD and all the other peripheral problems associated with it, she even tried to get me seen for it, which was difficult back then as it wasnt a recognised condition.
Nevertheless, for my entire life i have been constantly berated, belittled and blamed for everything by her and my entire family. The words 'lazy' 'liar' and 'have no life' have been a constant drain on my self respect and every attempt to control or change how i behave.
She is also absolutely convinced that she is more important than i am, she has literally said that on many occasions.
.... My own mother said that. And on a couple of occasions that i would 'amount to nothing'
Around 3 months ago, i finally had enough after she screwed me over for her own benefit (thats another story altogether). Since then i have improved enormously, my personal appearance and hygiene have improved, i have managed to get most of my financial burdens sorted, i feel better about myself (more often than used to anyway) and i have finally managed to get a diagnosis for the ADHD. I'm not saying i am perfect or that i can live normally; i canw, i know that but so much has changed for the better.
In the mean time, since i left, my mother has not tried once to get in contact with me. I got the odd accusation via text messgae, repeats of the usual 'you did this, you did that, why are you being difficult blah blah blah' but other than that, nothing. She hasnt bothered to come to flat, despite living literally 30 seconds away from me, either.
Today i got an envelope with a note in it through my letterbox, she wants me to fix her laptop. No coming to see me because its been months ot because she wants to try fix this. Just, she wants something, from me. As always, as everyone does, they only talk to me when they wamt something.
The problem is, that note might be a means to an end, an excuse to open talks. I dont know. And i dont know whether i should risk all the progress i have made just to mollify her. Resuming our relationship may undo all the work i have done. I wont sacrifice it for someone who has been a constant drain on my psychological well being, even if that person is my mother.