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Post by chrisandhisbrain on Apr 18, 2016 10:04:41 GMT
Things are pretty bad right now at home. I have an amazingly loving and understanding wife, but she's only human there's only so much she can put up with.
I'm so incredibly scared that she's going to give up on our relationship at some point, and it will be all my fault. I wish I could just switch off all these negative aspects of myself and give her the stable, fun, loving relationship she deserves.
But instead I give her lots of stress which she really doesn't need. She deserves the world and at the moment I can't give her any of it.
I am very low right now as you can see and my brain is over compensating by shooting chemicals into me in regular intervals, giving me brief feelings of euphoria before crashing down again.
I'm counting down the days of my medication consultation and will swallow whatever they want to give me, in the hope it will change me for the better. Maybe not, maybe I'm just destined to ruin mine and my wife's lives.
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Post by chrisandhisbrain on Apr 18, 2016 10:22:02 GMT
Mods feel free to move this to the venting forum, didn't see that originally.
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Post by hanonymouse on Apr 18, 2016 13:07:46 GMT
My friend, you are already blessed with a great wife who has stood by you this far and it sounds like you really appreciate her. Remember, that the things happening to you are not your fault and it sounds like she understands that too. You're not ruining anybody's life, when we feel a bit down, it can feel that way, but, when we feel a little better, we realise that it was just because we felt a bit low and we tended to see the negatives more than the positive - they positives are still there, it's just a bit harder for us to see them sometimes. When I feel like this and I worry that she's about to pop, I give her some attention, a bunch of flowers (don't have to be particular expensive), cook her favourite food, or even just... and this is the hardest thing ever... agree to watch a soppy movie with her and pretend I'm interested! I really hope things pick up for you soon, a bit of time together might lift your spirits!
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