Post by Gina on Jul 15, 2016 17:02:15 GMT
Hi everyone,
Just want to share my story as I found this forum could help me understand my situation. I have been married last month with my live in partner for almost 3 years. Our life together is full of love, happiness, fun and adventures like I am the center of his world. Though we also have fights and arguments as same as normal couples do. But we never let the day end without forgiving each other and settled the misunderstanding.
Then, honeymoon came a week after the wedding. I noticed my husband dramatically changed from being a knight in shining armour to be an evil one. He often ignored me and left behind and never had a single night together as honeymooner. As he always went back to our hotel room well drunk where he never used to (I myself don't drink and smoke). When I tried to talk to him that I was feeling ignored and unloved in a nice way he just started shouting out me. I cried as I had no idea why he was being horrible to me. There was a night he told me he wished he never met me and married me as he is not a marriage person and he doesn't want feeling trapped. Whereas, it was his idea to get into marriage and he worked hard to save money for it.
God knows how many times I asked him if he was really sure of marrying me. Even his mum asked him days before our wedding. He just said he loves me so much and he is so happy to be with me as his wife. We had a wonderful wedding ever as our guests were so enchanted how we did it well. But in our 2 weeks honeymoon I only got verbal abuse and some of beating up as he was drunk and couldn't control himself. When I talked to him in the morning about hitting me he just said he never remembered doing it.
I thought him going back in England and being focus at work again will get him back with a same nice guy I know. But unfortunately, I feel more ignored and not cared about. His mum knows all the changes and unpleasant behaviours he has during our honeymoon until now. She talked with her friend (who is psychiarist for children) and consulted about the behaviour of my husband. Her friend said my husband may have a "chemical imbalance to his brain" due to life changing event happened to him like being married. He maybe thinking so much about the obligation and responsibility of marriage and his brain cannot cope with it. Yeah I remember him saying this marriage won't never work and we will end up hurting each other. He is being so pessimistic with our relationship now.
Out of curiousity, I searched online if I am the only one experiencing this situation. I started typing in the engine search "Why husbands suddenly changed after the marriage?". Then I have been with load of sites, blogs etc. and it was like I am reading my own story. Most of the wives linked the sudden changes of their husbands behaviours as symptoms of ADHD. They said their husbands were hyperfocusing to them during the courtship and swiftly flipped on as different person after the marriage. I am reading and learning about ADHD and found all the symptoms to my husband. I tried to tell him about this and he replied, "I am not a mad person. I know people who have ADHD and bipolar. I just knew I am changing but not the same person you know. This is really who I am. I don't want anyone or anything. I just want my space and run free. I don't want being trapped."
He said he cannot sleep at night time as his brain is fucked. He cannot eat properly and always distracted when he is not working. His mum said he is very loud and noisy in the morning, walking, talking and running up and down the stairs. He constantly angry and irritated. He also has a mood swing (bad mood in the morning; good mood in the end of the day or vice versa). Now I am really suspecting my husband has ADHD.
Please help me understand this.
Thank you, Gina
Just want to share my story as I found this forum could help me understand my situation. I have been married last month with my live in partner for almost 3 years. Our life together is full of love, happiness, fun and adventures like I am the center of his world. Though we also have fights and arguments as same as normal couples do. But we never let the day end without forgiving each other and settled the misunderstanding.
Then, honeymoon came a week after the wedding. I noticed my husband dramatically changed from being a knight in shining armour to be an evil one. He often ignored me and left behind and never had a single night together as honeymooner. As he always went back to our hotel room well drunk where he never used to (I myself don't drink and smoke). When I tried to talk to him that I was feeling ignored and unloved in a nice way he just started shouting out me. I cried as I had no idea why he was being horrible to me. There was a night he told me he wished he never met me and married me as he is not a marriage person and he doesn't want feeling trapped. Whereas, it was his idea to get into marriage and he worked hard to save money for it.
God knows how many times I asked him if he was really sure of marrying me. Even his mum asked him days before our wedding. He just said he loves me so much and he is so happy to be with me as his wife. We had a wonderful wedding ever as our guests were so enchanted how we did it well. But in our 2 weeks honeymoon I only got verbal abuse and some of beating up as he was drunk and couldn't control himself. When I talked to him in the morning about hitting me he just said he never remembered doing it.
I thought him going back in England and being focus at work again will get him back with a same nice guy I know. But unfortunately, I feel more ignored and not cared about. His mum knows all the changes and unpleasant behaviours he has during our honeymoon until now. She talked with her friend (who is psychiarist for children) and consulted about the behaviour of my husband. Her friend said my husband may have a "chemical imbalance to his brain" due to life changing event happened to him like being married. He maybe thinking so much about the obligation and responsibility of marriage and his brain cannot cope with it. Yeah I remember him saying this marriage won't never work and we will end up hurting each other. He is being so pessimistic with our relationship now.
Out of curiousity, I searched online if I am the only one experiencing this situation. I started typing in the engine search "Why husbands suddenly changed after the marriage?". Then I have been with load of sites, blogs etc. and it was like I am reading my own story. Most of the wives linked the sudden changes of their husbands behaviours as symptoms of ADHD. They said their husbands were hyperfocusing to them during the courtship and swiftly flipped on as different person after the marriage. I am reading and learning about ADHD and found all the symptoms to my husband. I tried to tell him about this and he replied, "I am not a mad person. I know people who have ADHD and bipolar. I just knew I am changing but not the same person you know. This is really who I am. I don't want anyone or anything. I just want my space and run free. I don't want being trapped."
He said he cannot sleep at night time as his brain is fucked. He cannot eat properly and always distracted when he is not working. His mum said he is very loud and noisy in the morning, walking, talking and running up and down the stairs. He constantly angry and irritated. He also has a mood swing (bad mood in the morning; good mood in the end of the day or vice versa). Now I am really suspecting my husband has ADHD.
Please help me understand this.
Thank you, Gina