aydeeHdee
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Post by aydeeHdee on Apr 17, 2017 8:47:15 GMT
Why do people seem to have a hard time either believing or understanding that I have ADHD? People are either sceptical that it exists in the first place, they say stuff like "oh but everyone gets a bit scatty or forgetful". Yes they do, but not on a daily 24/7 basis that it becomes a 'normalised' way of life. Or "hmmm but you don't seem hyper". I am fidgety though, it manifests in persistent nail biting/picking or going off for a cigarette suddenly at random times. And more internal restlessness, I can never wind down, and I'm always on the go doing stuff. Or my personal favourite, "only kids have ADHD". Yes, I am 40 but I did have it as a kid. My primary school reports consistently mention 'she daydreams constantly but appears to enjoy P.E.' or 'always missing deadlines' and 'complete lack of concentration' and 'careless errors' .... the last one even up until recent times, I got TWO warnings at work! Or "but you seem SO organised!". I was only diagnosed very recently, of course before then, I had to develop very rigid organisation skills such as keeping a diary, post-it notes, keeping to a strict routine, leaving the house an hour earlier so I'm not late (yet again), keeping things in the same place so I don't lose them. Ad infinitum What common misconceptions have you had from people? And how do you respond to them?
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mc1250
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 71
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Stigma
Apr 17, 2017 20:50:35 GMT
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Post by mc1250 on Apr 17, 2017 20:50:35 GMT
Pretty much all the same as you really! The only thing I would add is the poeple who I've grown up with will tell me they don't think I've got it as I wasn't that bad in school etc! But the thing they all fail to see is that I was, but I didn't care back then and I'm sure they cared even less to be able to notice how bad I was!
Even though the only school report I found was the same as yours, turning up to lessons late unprepared etc
The warnings I got at work were for being late... always!! One work place I even got to the written warning stage, for lateness! I only wish I can start implementing your kind of structure!
I'm also 40, and get told I'm not hyper, but then they can't see into my head and don't notice the amount I'm constantly fidgeting!
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Stigma
Apr 17, 2017 21:03:07 GMT
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 17, 2017 21:03:07 GMT
Why do people seem to have a hard time either believing or understanding that I have ADHD? People are either sceptical that it exists in the first place, they say stuff like "oh but everyone gets a bit scatty or forgetful". Yes they do, but not on a daily 24/7 basis that it becomes a 'normalised' way of life. Or "hmmm but you don't seem hyper". I am fidgety though, it manifests in persistent nail biting/picking or going off for a cigarette suddenly at random times. And more internal restlessness, I can never wind down, and I'm always on the go doing stuff. Or my personal favourite, "only kids have ADHD". Yes, I am 40 but I did have it as a kid. My primary school reports consistently mention 'she daydreams constantly but appears to enjoy P.E.' or 'always missing deadlines' and 'complete lack of concentration' and 'careless errors' .... the last one even up until recent times, I got TWO warnings at work! Or "but you seem SO organised!". I was only diagnosed very recently, of course before then, I had to develop very rigid organisation skills such as keeping a diary, post-it notes, keeping to a strict routine, leaving the house an hour earlier so I'm not late (yet again), keeping things in the same place so I don't lose them. Ad infinitum What common misconceptions have you had from people? And how do you respond to them?
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Stigma
Apr 17, 2017 21:15:31 GMT
Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 17, 2017 21:15:31 GMT
aydeeHdee Yeah, the stigma's something else! I stopped telling people after a while. . I was dx @ 48 and have also overcompensated on the organisational side of things . . My mum won't even talk about it and I've had a psychiatrist, GPs and IAPT counsellor tell me that even with a dx "we all have difficulties sometimes. . .no need to put a label on it" . ." ADHD always has an element of parental neglect. ." . ." I don't think it would be productive to treat your problems with concentration when you're emotionally unstable and have persistent low mood/mood swings/anxiety/personality disorders. ." So I set up and go to peer support groups and talk online and avoid telling anyone about my ADHD. .
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nickyw
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Posts: 19
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Stigma
Apr 25, 2017 9:40:42 GMT
Post by nickyw on Apr 25, 2017 9:40:42 GMT
Its v common for people not to believe in / trivialise the condition. This video (particularly from 1.38) sums it up well. By the way I am 1.89m
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Deleted
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Stigma
May 9, 2017 7:58:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2017 7:58:23 GMT
I am going to do my best not to tell people that are "normal" or abnormal, whichever you prefer. It was "just a naughty kid" when I grew up. Although I wasnt naughty, wild yes, but polite and none violent. I have managed mstly on going over things 10 times and creating the perfect routine to revent forgetfulness. Its all up in the air at the moment though..
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aydeeHdee
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Stigma
May 15, 2017 19:03:39 GMT
Post by aydeeHdee on May 15, 2017 19:03:39 GMT
Thanks for the replies everyone
Have to say it's actually getting worse to the point where I nearly started to second guess myself, and I had to recheck my symptoms list just to make sure I didn't imagine things. It's almost like people think I've made up symptoms just to get a label.
Uhm, no you can't fake zoning out halfway through a conversation, or getting intolerably irritated in queues, or forgetting items on to do lists yet again, or sitting through a presentation at work and not absorbing any of what was said during the entire hour, or getting pulled up for several careless mistakes ... from childhood to last week. Nor can you fake the sedated zombie feeling from the meds that only ADHD people get, because we react differently to stimulants.
I only stumbled on the condition (NOT label) purely by accident. When I read the symptoms and saw me in them, I felt such a huge sense of relief, finally my life actually made sense for the first time. Things just slotted into place, it was a huge revelation. As soon as I got the diagnosis, which of course confirmed it, I had a sense of closure yet open door, as I knew I had something 'not quite right' about me since forever, when I became aware.
So why on earth do people want to trivialise that and take that away from me?
Yeah the next time someone talks about their issues, I'm going to treat them the same and not believe a word they say, see how they like it
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