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Post by roland on Nov 26, 2017 21:18:13 GMT
Hi deanyatesI'm not going to ban you for saying something negative when life sometimes feels just like that. I hope you are okay?
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deanyates
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 6
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Post by deanyates on Nov 26, 2017 21:39:08 GMT
I really do apologise, as i always do with every site i go on to find help for the way i think. i just say what goes through my mind and cant stop it no matter how hard i try. i started the concerta about a month ago and i know they are making me worse. the last few nights all i have been thinking is "take all my pills" and i have so many to do the job, yet i can resist it normally. i feel as though it's what is supposed to happen. my wife has hidden all the pills, like i cant find them!..i i know better than her supposedly. my mind is such a mess and all i feel is the world would be a better place without me. i feel the guilt that i do and say and the way it affects people around me just as i speak here. it changes what people would normally be doing. you see that yourself? it's horrible living a life that i am responsible for. the only reason i stayed this long is because i couldn't see my mum go through the pain of losing a son after she stuck by me for so long. "yet i hurt her every time i speak to her" such a sad life. i just wanted a life where i was stupid like the rest of people. i envy these people for not knowing what i know. Thank you Rowland
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Post by vagueandrandom on Nov 26, 2017 21:40:49 GMT
Hi deanyatesI was going to reply to one of your posts the other day, but you seem to have deleted it. This is a peer support forum and although I try to respond to a lot of people, sometimes I just don't have the mental energy. . .and I'm sure it's the case for others too. You have every right to express your anger and resentment here, but instant responses and solutions aren't always possible. I know you're not finding concerta particularly helpful, maybe you're on the wrong dose, or perhaps something else might work better. Meds on their own aren't the answer, you have to try to make changes to accommodate ADHD. . .and it can be really hard, when you've been struggling for years not knowing what was wrong. I'm one of the unlucky ones who don't respond well to meds and am having to make adjustments to my life . . .and it's an effort and a chore and I still have really shit days when nothing goes right. . and I still have no friends irl, which hurts . . roland won't ban you . . .keep talking x
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Post by roland on Nov 26, 2017 22:27:21 GMT
Hi deanyates You don't need to apologise! But I am concerned for you. Have you told your consultant that you feel the world would be a better place without you?
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Post by vagueandrandom on Nov 27, 2017 0:11:10 GMT
deanyates If it's any consolation. . .I've had a shit day today . . . forgot to take my lunch to work, lost my water bottle. . .disputes with online business about delivery . .old friend guilt-tripping me . . . I've never married and I'm nearly 51 and my mum doesn't support me and I don't talk to my sister (only sibling) . . .I'd made a plan to end it all on my 50th birthday if things weren't significantly better . . .but I got diagnosed with ADHD. . .and I'm trying to improve things . . and it can be shit 50% of the time. . .and I'm hanging on . . . That's all . . I'm only Senior God because I post so bloody much, because it's so damned hard! Tonight I really need a hug and know there's no-one to give me one . . Virtual hugs to you and everyone else who might need one x
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Nov 27, 2017 18:24:16 GMT
Very sorry to hear you're struggling, Dean.
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Post by roland on Nov 27, 2017 21:22:29 GMT
Hi vagueandrandomI am sorry to hear it's been a shit day and I'm sorry I didn't see your post earlier than this (I was out of town today). Anyway here are some virtual hugs ((((((()))))))! Hope you feel better tomorrow! Roland
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